Commemoration
by wineandpotatochips
Summary: Kylo Ren surprises Rey in order to commemorate a special occasion, and things go from there. Attraction has lead to something far more, and that leads to some dangerous, even desperate ideas as they try to find ways to be together. A little dark, a little light, a lot of connection. Reylo - be warned.
1. Abduction

**Commemoration**

This is just ridiculous romantic fluff - or fluff-smut – because it's almost Valentine's Day, I guess, and because I've had a couple glasses of wine, and because I need a break from my other story, which is getting darker and creepier by the day. So this one is just for fun. *Was going to be 2-3 chapters, but I decided to keep going with it.

So, yeah, Reylo – sorrynotsorry. Please don't hate on the ship; I respect all ships. In this, they're not related and they know they're not related. I dunno how - maybe they went to 23andme-dot-gal and found out. ;)

* * *

The last thing Rey remembered was walking down the hallway, toothbrush in hand. Now, she was leaning against a tree. Well, half of her was leaning against a tree. The other half was leaning against something warmer and softer. Her eyes fluttered open.

 _About time._

She looked up to find dark brown eyes staring into her own. Kylo Ren.

"Gah. You know, if you wanted to see me, you could have just…" _…asked._

"I wanted this to be a surprise." His voice was smooth and low, and obviously holding something back.

"Yeah, well, getting ambushed coming out of the 'fresher certainly counts as a surprise." Her brows drew together, a little line of irritation forming between them.

"I needed to be sure you were alone. To avoid collateral damage. As you requested."

She rolled her eyes. _Considerate of you._ "I'm in my night clothes."

"I noticed." His eyes roamed over her soft camisole, shorts and slippers.

Another eye roll. "So, uh, where are we?"

"Don't you recognize it?"

She stood up and turned in a circle, looking around until a familiar view appeared. "Takodana?"

He stood, too, and nodded.

"Why?"

"This is where we first met. Exactly one standard year ago today. It's the sort of thing I've heard women like to commemorate."

A word floated in her brain: _anniversary_. She tilted her head and blinked at him. "When I tried to kill you. And you kidnapped me."

"You wanted to kill me very badly. I could feel it – how strong your desire for blood was. It was beautiful."

Something fluttered in her stomach and moved lower, settling hot and throbbing between her legs. _That should not turn me on._

 _But it does. I adore the violence in you._

 _You're strange._

He smirked. _You like it._

She didn't argue.

 _Besides, that's what led to this._

That was true. This - whatever it was – Force bond (she had researched them a bit on her own using Luke's materials – she certainly couldn't _ask_ him about it ) – had happened then, during the interrogation. Unintentional and unexpected, it had linked them – a fact that had infuriated her for months.

 _And that,_ he continued, _is what led to this._ He leaned toward her, brushing a soft kiss against her lips. She leaned in for more, but he pulled away.

 _You call that a kiss?_ She protested at being denied.

He stepped closer, backing her against the tree, his hands sliding around her shoulders, one roaming down over her back, the other up, touching her hair, her face, grabbing her jaw, his lips crushing hers, claiming them. She clutched his chest, digging into the rough material of his tunic, opening her mouth for the kiss, pulling his tongue into her mouth, inhaling him. He smelled like hot metal and welding fumes – the smell of space, she had learned, once she too started travelling through it regularly. It was the smell of the ship when she stepped out of it. His hands roamed over her, and she could feel them, hot and hard through the thin material of her night clothes. She pushed at his thick clothing in frustration, then moved her hands to his hair. It was free, and she tangled her fingers in it, pulling until she felt his pain and he grunted in her mouth, pressing against her harder, sliding his knee between her legs and spreading them apart so he could grind against her. She felt his erection even through his layers of clothing, remembered how it felt without the clothing, how it felt inside her, and she was instantly wet and aching. She pulled his hair harder, bit his lower lip; he bit hers back, hard enough that she cried out a bit, then released her, taking an unsteady step back.

 _Is that better?_

"Mmm-hmm," she whimpered. They both stood, leaning against the tree, against each other, until their breath returned to normal. Finally, Rey looked up at him. "So, uh, this is what you had in mind? Here? In the forest?"

He laughed – just a low chuckle. "I would take you here in the forest – or anywhere - but no. This is…special. I reserved a room."

Her eyes widened. "At Maz's? You _reserved a room_ for _us_ at Maz Kanata's? Have you finally completely lost your mind?"

"Maz hasn't been running this place for a thousand years without making some excellent concessions to discretion. The room was paid for through several anonymous agents; there is an exterior entrance; there is no contact of any kind, with anyone – not even droids. No one will know."

She was still hesitant. Secret assignations in ships and abandoned temples were one thing – this was another thing entirely. If the Resistance found out, she would be exiled at best, tried for treason and imprisoned at worst. If the First Order found out – she assumed whatever happened to him would make prison look like a luxury vacation.

"But…"

He leaned close, his hair tickling her cheek, his breath tickling her ear. "Trust me."

 _Oh, sweet merciful Force. Trust you. Trust you and you'll ruin me._

He grabbed a loop of hair and pulled her head back, leaning over her and attacking her mouth again, hungrier this time, his breath hot, his hands gripping her shoulders hard.

 _You can count on that._

He let her go. She sighed. If she was insane, she liked insanity.

 _Mmmf. Yeah, okay._

They walked through the woods, toward the castle, which had been mostly repaired over the past year. The tallest tower was still missing, but otherwise, the place was back up and running. They took a path that ran behind the castle, winding among trees and shrubs. The path hid secret entrances to rooms. _Here._ He stopped, ducked into a path, entered a code in a pad and a door swooshed open, admitting them to a room that was at once sumptuous and ancient.

A buffet was spread on a long table in the center of the room. In the corner was a large bed, draped in red and gold coverings and piled with soft pillows.

 _We've never had a bed_. She sent a visual to him, of the two of them, in the bed, tangled in the sheets, in each other.

 _We've never had all night._ The visual he sent her made her knees go weak.

* * *

A/N

So, yeah. I thought the idea of these two trying to be romantic but still being, well, them was cute. So I'm weird. (Blushes)

The smell of space: based on published interviews with astronauts.

I was a little nervous about publishing this one - never did an 'M' story before. So, I hope you enjoy and reviews are greatly appreciated.


	2. Need

**Commemoration**

There will be more _story_ to this story in the next chapter, but for now, they have a private room, some uninterrupted time, and they just want to get in each other's pants.

* * *

Rey looked Kylo Ren up and down and frowned. "You know, it's not fair that I'm wearing practically nothing and you're in _that_."

"I don't mind it."

"Yeah? Well I do. So how about you strip down to a similar state of undress."

"Excuse me?"

She pointed a finger up and down his body. "Off-y clothes-y."

He made no move to remove anything.

Her eyebrows came together, and she held out a hand, power humming in her fingers. "You can do it or I can, and I assume you'd like to be able to reuse your clothes tomorrow?"

"Fine. Fair's fair." He removed his cape, belt, tunic, boots – everything except his pants. "Better?"

Her lip curved up in a smirk. "Much." She stepped toward him, running her hands over his bare chest, feeling his muscles, his scars, leaning against him and inhaling the scent of his skin, sliding her hands down.

She wanted him. Now. She fumbled with his zipper.

He caught her wrists. "Patience. We don't have to hurry this time. Would you like a drink?"

She took a deep breath, steadied herself. "Okay."

He poured something gold and shimmery into two small glasses. "Kyrf," he said, handing one to her. "Made from a fruit grown only on a single plantation on a single planet. Very rare, very strong." _Like you._

He downed the entire glass in one swift movement. She did the same. Liquid fire ran down her throat, into her stomach, spread through her veins. It was smooth and sweet – no, not sweet – something beyond that. Nothing like the cheap, sharp home-brewed concoction she had tried a few times on Jakku or the yeasty ale the Resistance pilots liked. It eased her inhibitions and heightened her senses, and made her even more aware of the hot throbbing between her legs.

He was looking at her, his eyes dark. She knew he felt it. She felt his arousal, too, felt that pent up need inside him. _Have we waited long enough?_

 _Too long._

 _Good. I want you in me._

He grabbed her, kissing her roughly, tugging at her clothes and dragging them off her body. _Do you know what it does to me when you say things like that?_

 _Yes._

With a quick swoop, he had her in his arms, just like he had that first day – except this time she was awake, moving in his arms, eager for his touch. _This is much better._

 _Huh?_

 _Oh, right. You wouldn't remember. That first day, here, I carried you to my ship just like this._

 _Like **this**?_

 _Well, not naked, obviously. But cradled in my arms._

 _Oh._ She wasn't sure what to make of that. Why not slung over his shoulder, or dragged by Stromtroopers?

 _I - don't really know. I wanted to - to hold you. To - I don't even know. I was drawn to you. It was impulsive, and unlike me and honestly, I regretted it_ _\- you were so small and soft and vulnerable, and_ _it felt - inappropriate. I would never...it was too intimate, holding you like that..._

She smiled and put a finger on his lips. _Shhh. I know_. She couldn't imagine any touch that was too intimate from him now. He leaned down and kissed her, his tongue sliding between her lips, meeting hers as they collapsed onto the bed, so soft and luxurious. The comfort of it was ridiculous, so different from the other places they had done this.

His kisses trailed down her neck, growing more insistent, and his hands were on her breasts, her stomach, sliding between her legs, between her folds; he shuddered as he felt her wetness, and she moaned. His fingers slid back and forth over her clit, slowly at first, then faster, and when he knew she was ready he slid a long finger inside her, then another when she sent him an insistent command of MORE. He bit her shoulder, the slight pain making the pleasure everywhere else more intense.

He managed to discard his pants, and she wrapped her hand around his cock, stroking slowly up and down, as his fingers slid in and out of her, finally slipping back up to her clit, circling, teasing until he could hear her pleading over the bond. Then he trailed kisses down her body, pressed her legs apart and started licking and nibbling his way up her thighs until his tongue reached up and tasted her.

 _You're delicious._

She cried out, aching for more. His tongue found her clit, and she gasped as he flicked it up and down, faster and faster, knowing exactly what she wanted. The tension grew, and she was only peripherally aware that small items around the room had begun to levitate. It didn't take long until she felt the now familiar tensing, tensing and then a release that radiated out in waves, and she threw her head back and screamed, and then everything fell to the floor as she fell away, away, clutching his hair and his hand that she hadn't realized she had grabbed, their fingers twined together, gripping hard. She shuddered as the last wave washed over her, and then she was still, panting, and he was still, too, his head resting on her stomach until she could breathe again.

He looked up at her, eyes dark with lust, and crawled up her body, until he could reach her mouth, and he kissed her, his lips tasting like her, and a primitive possessive pride ran though her. He was hers; her smell, her taste on him.

His expression was predatory. She started to slide down, to take him in her mouth, but he stopped her. "Not now. Later, I want your mouth on my cock but right now I wouldn't last if you did that. And I need to take you, I need to fuck you, I need to show you…" _that you're mine_.

She shivered. _I am yours._

 _Yes._ He rubbed his cock on her folds, brushing against her. She could feel his need, how he was about to explode with just that contact.

 _Go ahead. I'm so ready._

She felt relief from him, that he wouldn't have to wait, that he wouldn't be denied any longer, and he gripped her ankles and held her legs up as she guided him inside her. He plunged into her, only halfway, trying to go slow at first so as not to hurt her, then losing that small amount of control as he felt how wet and ready she truly was, pounding into her, incessant, relentless. She pressed her feet against his shoulders, increasing the pressure. He reached over, kissed her ankle, then raked his hands down her legs, spreading her thighs so he was fully on top of her and she could feel his whole length buried in her, the thought _I need_ coming across the bond at each stroke, louder and faster and more ragged. She felt his release as he did, hot and wet inside her and exploding in waves of chaotic emotion and pleasure and desperation in her mind and sending a chair skittering across the floor with a wave of energy that he didn't bother to try to contain.

He collapsed on top of her, panting, clinging to her, his hair damp with sweat.

 _We'll go slower next time_ , he promised, and she nodded, her muscles rubbery, knowing he felt the same way. He rolled off her, onto his back, and she turned on her side, draping an arm over him.

"Do you need anything?"

She sighed. "Nap now. Food later." She curled into him, her arm over his chest, her leg over his, close, so close. She had never slept like this – touching someone, being held. It soothed the lonely little girl inside of her. He stroked her hair, held her tighter.

 _You're not alone anymore._ It was just a whisper of a thought over the bond before she felt him drift to sleep, but her mind curled around those words like her body curled around his.


	3. Hunger

**Commemoration**

* * *

She didn't want to move. She was warm and content and his arms around her felt _soooo_ good. But she had to pee. So finally, reluctantly, she rolled out of the bed and tiptoed across the room to the 'fresher, scooping up her clothes on the way.

He was awake when she opened the door, propped on an elbow, watching her. "You took your hair down."

"Someone messed it up."

"And is going to again, but maybe after a little sustenance." He sat up, pulled on his pants and stepped into the 'fresher as well.

Rey walked over to the table. It contained an assortment of decadent looking foods she didn't recognize, being kept warm or cold, as needed. "What _is_ all this?" She asked when he joined her.

He shrugged. "I actually have no idea what most of this is. It's been years since I've eaten anything that didn't come out of a First Order Officer's Mess."

So much food. A year ago, Rey couldn't have imagined seeing so much food in one place – all of which she was free to consume. She grabbed a tiny, hot roll. It smelled yeasty and when she bit into it, it melted in her mouth. "Mmmf. Like eating a cloud." She handed him one. There were more breads, meat, vegetables, unusual looking fruits – all fresh, not rehydrated. Rey grabbed an exotic-looking pink thing. "Oh, I had one of these the first time I was here. They're delicious."

He picked up a fruit that was such a dark purple it was nearly black.

Rey cocked an eyebrow. _Predictable_ , she thought at him.

"Try it." He held it out to her and she took a bite, expecting something strong and bitter – but surprised when it tasted like honey.

They ate until they were full, but there was still so much food left. Rey sighed.

"What's wrong?"

"I just – I feel guilty, wasting food."

"I don't understand."

"Then you've never been truly hungry."

"That's true." He remembered, and she saw, that growing up, there had always been plenty to eat – often military rations, but also sometimes the bounty of state dinners, the simple abundance of quickly thrown-together victory celebrations, odd but yummy concoctions in dusty cantinas, simple but nutritious fare at the Jedi Academy. Then, with the First Order, there was always a mess hall, always something on a tray to sustain him. He had long since stopped caring what it was. He had suffered in many ways, but starvation wasn't one of them.

For Rey, it had been her one constant companion.

"But that's over," he said.

She shook her head. "I don't think it'll ever go away. I still have dreams where I'm starving – just empty and aching inside. I don't know how to explain it in words."

Instead, she sent him a visual. No, more than that. A memory. He was in it with her, feeling what she had felt: _She was small, maybe ten, and there was a gnawing hole in the pit of her stomach, not the kind of 'hungry' you felt when it was time for the next meal, but a painful emptiness that clawed at her. He could feel her muscles trembling as she climbed, searching for anything to trade for food. He felt her thoughts, skittering around, unable to focus because all she could think of was food. Then he was standing in Niima Outpost with her, and she was shoving a pile of spare parts across a counter to a large, rather disgusting looking humanoid, who looked the items over, slowly, so slowly while she wavered on her feet, dizziness assaulting her mind, waiting, waiting. Finally, the humanoid spoke, again unhurriedly, and she gritted her teeth because she knew if she tried to rush the negotiation she would get less for her treasures. "These are worth, ahhhh, one half portion." And he slid a packet of something flat and dehydrated across to her, again, sluggishly, seeming to enjoy making her wait. Her small shaking hand clutched the packet and she dashed off, knelt behind a tent and ripped the portion open, pulled a water canteen and a battered metal pan from her pack, rehydrated the food and just as she was ready to eat it, a shadow fell over her. A grown man, weathered and dusty. "I'll take that, girl." And then he felt rage, pure beautiful rage coming from her. She was on her feet, yelling, growling, and there was a flash of her staff, swinging around. He felt it connect with the would-be thief's skull, saw blood spurt, felt bone crack, felt the sickening thunk of the staff connecting with something softer below the bone. The thief fell, limp, and Rey grabbed her rehydrated muffin, stuffed it in her mouth and ran._

She gasped. "I…I didn't mean to show you…that." She was shaking.

"You killed him."

"I'm pretty sure. [ _I' m sure._ ] I didn't wait to find out. I didn't _want_ to find out. But I never saw him again. I hadn't eaten in three days and I had worked so _hard_ and he was just going to _take_ it…" Tears pricked at her eyes.

"Rey. You don't have to justify yourself to _me_."

She sucked in a breath. That was true. And despite all the implications, instead of inspiring horror, it was a relief, _a relief_ not to have to feel guilty, not to have to hide things. She had always thought that if her friends knew some of the things she had done to survive, they might not understand. Might not be quite so willing to welcome her, to teach her to use this awesome power she possessed. They had killed, it was true, but in war. That was different.

 _Was that the first time?_

 _Yes_

He pulled her into his lap, wrapped his arms around her, stroked her silky hair.

 _You were even younger than I was. And alone. I had…a master. Terrifying and cruel, but guiding me. And I had the Darkness. The power. You know._

She did know. That sweet feeling of power flowing through her veins, flaming and consuming and burning away all guilt and doubt. So easy to give in to. She shivered and turned in his arms, reached up for his lips. They tasted sweet and salty from the food, and were instantly alive under hers, soft and hot.

She reached up, cupped his face in her hand, ran her fingertips over his eyebrows, his nose, his lips, the scar she had given him, pressed her palm against it. He laid a hand over hers. They stayed like that for a long time.

Finally, he shifted, pulled her hand to his lips. He kissed her palm, her wrist, all the way up her arm, his mouth soft and hot on her skin, moving across her shoulder, to her neck. He pushed the strap of her top down, over her arm, exposing one soft breast. He cupped it with his hand, circled his thumb over the nipple, then bent to press those same soft, hot kisses over it.

He glanced up at her, eyes almost shy under the dark fringe of his lashes. "I can't believe I get to touch you like this."

"Anytime," she whispered, not wanting to disturb the quiet.

He kissed her, lips soft and tender and slow. So different, gentle and hesitant and…

 _Ben?_

He pulled away and smiled at her. _Yes_.

She turned to face him, wrapped her legs around his waist. He kissed her again, hands sliding over her breasts, over the curve of her hips, dipping his head to take her nipple in his mouth. It sent shivers through her stomach, made something quiver between her legs.

She moaned. "Oh, Ben. _Ben_."

He stopped, tensed, grabbed her hair and yanked her head back. His eyes were dark, almost black, flashing. Emotions played across his face, dark and dangerous. His fingers tightened on her hips, gripping them so hard she knew it would leave bruises.

 _Ben Solo is not worthy of you._

* * *

To be continued...

Yeah, I'm evil.


	4. Satisfaction

**Commemoration**

* * *

In an instant, she was on the floor, on her back. He was crouched over her, one arm on each side of her head, his eyes dark and feral. He leaned down, his breath hot against her ear. "Ben Solo is not worthy of you." He said it aloud this time.

Kylo Ren was back. This had happened before; sort of freaked her out at first, but now – not so much. Ben was warm and tender and sensual, and knowing that she, and she alone, was allowed even a glimpse of him made her heart glow. Kylo was…well, every kind of sinful hotness imaginable, and some that defied imagination. Was it so wrong for her to want both?

"He wouldn't know what to do with you; couldn't appreciate how magnificent you are; not like I do. Passion belongs to the Dark side."

She knew this. 'There is no passion, there is serenity.' That was the Jedi code. _I'll never be a Jedi._

He smiled. "And lust." His lips tickled her ear. A spike of desire washed over her. She knew he felt it. He laughed, a low, deep sound. "And you are deliciously lustful." His teeth nipped her earlobe.

A throbbing started between her legs.

His eyes searched her face, and she couldn't look away. She felt him, in her mind, touching and tasting her emotions. _No fear. Only you do not fear me._ Something came across the bond, dark and swirling, and it connected with something in her that was the same. He groaned. _The darkness in you; I feel it. So beautiful, so strong, so untamed._ She felt his adoration, how he reveled in it, and she knew she should have shied away, but she joined him, reveling in the dark connection. Her body ached for a similar connection, hot desire pooling in her stomach, quivering between her legs and spreading through her veins until she felt like a fire was consuming her from the inside.

He tugged at her hair, pulled her head back, leaned down, kissed the hollow at the base of her neck, then ran his tongue up her throat, ending at her mouth, which he claimed with a kiss that was fierce and demanding, his tongue sliding between her lips, opening her mouth. She moaned. The quivering between her legs became an ache, an absence that only he could fill.

 _You want me._

 _I want you._ And a thought she hid: All of you. And that's what I'll have.

 _Look at me. Look into my eyes._ His eyes were dark, almost black, intense, and she couldn't look away. _You're mine. Not his. Mine_. _Only I get to have you; only I get to make you scream._ _I'll make you come so hard you'll forget the name Ben._

He tugged her shorts off, pushed them down her legs and slid his fingers inside her, gave a growl of pleasure at the slick wetness there. He moved his hand back and forth, deep and wet and hard. His other hand was still in her hair, keeping her from looking away, his eyes locked with hers. His fingers moved up, found the place that he knew would send her over the edge, started moving in rhythm. She dug her fingers into his back. _Say my name_ , he commanded, and she came on his hand in a series of spasms, calling his name – "Kylo, Kylo" – achingly, pleadingly, and oh, Force it was good, waves of pleasure pulsing through her, to her fingertips, something like electricity crackling through them. He took her hand in one of his, feeling the sizzling energy, sharing it with her, adding his own, little flickers moving between their fingers until it dissipated. He pulled her against his side, and they lay there while she slowly stilled her breathing.

 _What was that?_ She asked, looking at their fingers _._

 _Force lightning, I think._

 _Is that normal during – you know…_

 _I…highly doubt it. Usually it's motivated by extreme hate, not it's opposite. But I liked it._

She smiled. _Me too._

It took a few seconds for the implication of the words to sink in. _Not it's opposite._

 _Oh!_

She sucked in a breath and looked at him. He didn't meet her eyes.

The words hung there between them for what seemed like a really long time.

Finally, he moved. "Thirsty?"

"Mmm-hmm." She nodded, realizing that she was, indeed, terribly thirsty.

He stood up, walked to the table and grabbed a bottle of water, took a long drink, then passed it to her. She drank it in long gulps, then sat it aside and looked at him with a wicked smile. "Your turn." She shoved him against the wall with a Force push.

"Oh, it's going to be like that?" And he Force-pulled her across the room, so that she was kneeling in front of him.

A corner of her mouth lifted as she looked up at him. "Oh, you like this, don't you? Me on my knees in front of you. You think about this, when you're alone in your quarters." She slid her hands up and unfastened his pants, rubbing along his erection. "I know – I feel it. Sometimes I watch. Then I touch myself, too."

She felt him get harder.

"You want this; you want me to call you master and bend to your will and do your bidding." She felt his desire licking along his skin like flames. "So, what is your bidding, master?"

She pulled his pants down and stroked his cock.

He groaned and tangled his hands in her hair. "Rey, please."

She ran her tongue all the way up the length of him, then looked up at him, enjoying the look of helpless desire in his eyes. She knew who really had the power in this situation. She leaned down, taking him in her mouth, and he stroked her hair. She swirled her tongue over the head, up the underside, before taking him fully into her mouth, her small hand still wrapped around him, settling into a rhythm, feeling for his mind, wanting to take him as far as she could. When she felt he was almost at the point of no return, she pulled away, slowly, stood up and led him to the bed, pushing him down gently and crawling on top of him, sliding down onto his cock and moving at the same speed she had with her mouth. He was panting, gripping her shoulders, pushing her down harder on him. She felt his control as he neared the edge and backed off, making it last for her. He moved his hand down, fingers on her clit, and she was surprised to feel the tension building again; she had thought she was already too thoroughly satisfied to come again.

His control was slipping, and she was close, so close, so she started moving faster, sweat beading on her forehead. _I need more – deeper…_ he thought, and flipped them over so he was on top of her, He was pounding into her now, faster and faster until she felt the explosion building – in his mind, her body, her mind, his body, moving through and between them until she couldn't tell one from another, and they collapsed on the bed, buzzing with the leftover energy, but also weak and spent, until the sun started to rise, a pale light filtering in through the windows set high in the room.

Reluctantly they disentangled themselves, got dressed and crept out into a beautiful, misty Takodana dawn.

"So, how am I supposed to get home? You can't exactly walk me to the door."

"No." An edge of disappointment. "The sun doesn't rise on D'Qar for another hour. Plenty of time to get you back there, and for you to sneak back into your room."

She smiled, then her face scrunched in confusion. "Hey! I just realized – how'd you get through our defenses?"

"I had a cloaking device installed on my ship."

"Aww, just for me?"

"Well, it has other uses but…" _For you._

They walked through the forest (one last kiss there) and to his ship, and too soon, Rey saw the swirling green and white shape of D'Qar. They approached stealthily, cloaked and hidden, and landed in a valley not too far from the base.

"It's a bit of a walk but…"

She leaned in, stopped him with a kiss, soft and lingering. "I'll see you soon?"

He stepped away, hand sliding from her fingers, reluctant to break contact. _Soon._

* * *

In front of the fire in the tavern, Maz Kanata filed a new secret away with the thousands of others that lived in her ancient brain. She turned this one over and over, considering it, weighing it, _looking_ at it. Then she smiled. Hope came in the most surprising packages.

* * *

Not The End

I hope I got the right blend of dark and light and weird and sweet. That's what I was going for - sweet, strange Reylo love. I hope you liked it, and if so, reviews are greatly appreciated. :)


	5. Normalcy

**Normalcy**

* * *

A/N

So, yeah, I decided there could be more to this story.

I made a few minor changes in the last chapter just for consistency – mostly in order to not give away the fact that Kylo knows where the Resistance Base is, but doesn't use that information against them.

Thanks to all of you who have followed, faved and reviewed. You're the reason I decided to add more to this. Enjoy more Reylo fluff-smut, and please review if you like!

* * *

Kylo Ren was less than thrilled when General Hux settled in the chair beside him. He had hoped to eat his breakfast alone.

"Good day, Ren," the general said.

He nodded in response, hoping that would forestall any attempts at conversation.

Alas, that was not to be.

"You were away." The general wasn't asking.

"Yes."

"Where were you?"

Kylo gritted his teeth. "What business is that of yours?"

Hux shrugged. "The Supreme Leader does not like it when you are absent without leave."

Kylo tensed. _Careful._ He had known about the tracker hidden in his belt since Starkiller – Hux was not as careful about guarding his mind as he thought, especially when he was feeling smug, which was often. Kylo had found it, learned to hack into it, and it had been transmitting his position as some coordinates that would lead anyone trying to find him to deep, empty space since yesterday evening. Still…

He scooped a bite of the rubbery yellow stuff the mess hall called eggs, brought the fork to his mouth, chewed, swallowed. Among the many things he had learned from the Supreme Leader was that a lie was much more easily believed if it contained a partial truth.

"If you must know, I was with a woman."

Seeing instant caffa spew out of Hux's nose was one of the few images that Kylo Ren would not mind having replay in his mind.

"You have a…woman?"

He kept his eyes facing forward. "Well. I _had_ a woman."

"Who…"

 _Rey._ He caressed her name in his mind, nestled it there, tucked away and hidden and his alone. "It was not the sort of encounter that involved chit-chat." His voice careful, level.

Hux almost smiled. "Oh. Well. That's the best kind. But…I…I thought…there was some prohibition or…"

"No." He didn't elaborate. He could feel the curiosity bouncing off of Hux., and enjoyed it, until he realized that the young general would not _leave_ until at least some of his curiosity was satisfied. He took a sip of strong, bitter caffa. "The Dark Side has no prohibition against lust." He shot Hux what he hoped looked like a leer. "Through passion, I gain strength."

Hux looked uncomfortable. He tugged at his collar. "Ah. Well. In that case, good for you, old boy."

They sat in silence, shoveling powdered eggs from plate to mouth. Hux took a sip of caffa then spoke again.

"If you plan to…do so again, it would be helpful if I could account for your whereabouts."

Kylo raised an eyebrow.

"Had you not appeared at breakfast, I would have been asked to _retrieve_ you." His eyes held Kylo's for longer than needed.

Kylo nodded. "Thank you."

Hux returned the nod, stood and turned to go.

Kylo sat, brooding over his eggs. He would have to be more cautious. He was glad he had been meticulous in erasing and reprogramming the logs in his ship. He watched Hux's retreating form, considered the warning look. Had Hux just tried to be _nice_?

* * *

Rey crept down the hallway, padding silently in her now-ruined slippers, willing the occupants of the rooms she passed not to wake up. She slipped into her room just as the sun broke the horizon. No point in lying down. She stepped into the 'fresher, showered, toweled off. She'd have to get a new toothbrush from Supply, so she made do with putting some tooth cleanser on her finger and scrubbing them that way, then swishing with a lot of water.

She looked in the mirror. Her freshly scrubbed skin was glowing, her still-damp hair was shiny, and she couldn't stop smiling. Her muscles felt rubbery and her joints felt loose. There were bruises on her hips and thighs in the shape of his fingers. She ran her hand over them, tried to fit her small fingers in the pattern of his larger ones. There was a bite mark on her inner thigh; she touched it. It made a pleasant shiver run through her; liking that was so deliciously _wrong_. She could still almost feel him inside of her. A blush crept over her cheeks, but she couldn't help letting her thoughts linger at the ghost of a feeling still throbbing down there.

A year. It had only been one standard year – 368 sunrises and sunsets. All those days on Jakku, all the same, running one into another, had not seen so much happen as this single year, when her life had twisted and turned like an X-Wing performing evasive maneuvers. It was all a little confusing, and she had no idea how it would end - supporting the Resistance, but cavorting with the enemy. Unwilling to give up either. What was to come of it? Happily ever after?

Right.

She threw on some clothes and headed to the dining hall. She could smell food – some sort of bread, simple but warm and filling – and caffa, strong and hot and fragrant. She saw Finn and Poe, already eating, and walked over to join them. They had become nearly inseparable since Finn left the medbay. Poe was telling a flying story: "And then the low fuel light came on. I was still three minutes from entering the atmosphere, so I knew it was going to be a dead stick landing…Rey!" He greeted her as she slid into a chair with her tray. "You ever glide in from the re-entry point?"

She laughed. "No, can't say I've tried that."

"You should. Nothing like it for a thrill."

She grinned, fighting a blush. _I could tell you about a thrill…_

She stared at her muffin, focused on breaking little bits of it off and nibbling at them, hearing Poe offer to take Finn up for a spin (and she was sure he meant that literally) later that day.

She listened, laughing along with them, swept along on the tide of their good natures, but not really there.

She reached out. _Are you as distracted as I am?_

 _You're distracted?_

 _Umm-hmm._

 _You need to work on your focus. Maybe you should go meditate, like a good little Jedi._

 _Shut up._

A dark chuckle rumbled through her brain.

 _What are you doing?_ She queried, wanting to maintain contact.

 _Eating breakfast._

Her smile deepened. _Me too._ Somehow, thinking of the mirrored action pleased her _. What's yours?_

 _Something yellow and rubbery that could, with a great deal of imagination, be called eggs. Instant caffa. You?_

 _A muffin – warm, with a little oleo to spread on it. Juice made from some little orange-yellow fruits that they bring in every now and then. Caffa sweetened with the nectar of some flowers that grow here._

 _Yours sounds better. I miss fruit._

 _Yeah. Space food._ An idea formed. _You know, if you come visit, I'll be sure to have some fruit for you._

 _Come visit? There?_

 _You can get in; you know where my room is…_

He swallowed. _Your room?_

Her eyes sparkled. _Yeah. My room. My bed. We could…_

She was taking her time, composing a visual, enjoying thinking of each little detail of what she would do to him in her room – the way she would push him onto her bed, strip off every article of his heavy clothing, slowly, so slowly, kissing and licking each piece of exposed flesh as she discovered it, working her way lower and lower while his blood burned…

… when something interrupted her thoughts. "Rey? Rey?" She was jerked back to the room and found herself staring directly into General Organa's eyes.

She felt heat spread over her face, down her neck and over her chest. She knew she was blushing some flaming shade of crimson.

"Yes, General?" Her voice sounded too high.

Leia laughed. "Where were you?"

Rey grabbed her cup, sloshing some juice out the top, staring at the contents as if they were the most fascinating thing in the galaxy. _Not having lascivious thoughts about your son, our arch-enemy, that's for sure._ "Just daydreaming, I guess."

"Well, I just wanted to let you know we have a strategy meeting this afternoon in the command center."

Rey smiled, too brightly, voice too high. "Right. Of course. I'll be there." Bantha-crap. This was way too complicated.


	6. Assignation

**Commemoration**

* * *

Back in her room, Rey actually did try meditating. She had to get her head in the right place for the strategy meeting – the right place being 'able to look at General Organa without turning a shade of red that didn't occur in nature'. She sat comfortably, legs criss-crossed, hands on knees, slowed her breathing, and opened her mind to the Force. It didn't take long until she felt – almost saw - that lovely connection to the light she had first experienced on the island with Luke. It was calming, peaceful. She felt warm and relaxed.

Maybe too relaxed.

In fact, if meditation was good, a nap would surely be better. She crawled into her bunk and wrapped herself in her blanket and fell into a deep restorative sleep.

By meeting time, she was refreshed and focused, and the meeting went quite well. She was able to meet General Organa's eyes with only a hint of a blush creeping into her cheeks. There was a part of her that wished she could tell the general, who was unfailingly kind but so, so sad– could tell her that she was right; that there _was_ still light in her son; wished she could tell her that Ben was still in there, that she had met him – but of course, he was a lot more Kylo Ren than Ben now, and she had done a lot more than _meet_ him.

It had all gotten out of hand so quickly, and she had been in too deep before she even _realized_ ….

She returned her attention to Admiral Ackbar, who was going over the current situation. Things were quiet for the time being; no new threats. They would maintain vigilance, keep patrolling as usual, listen to the usual intel chatter to pick up on anything the First Order was planning, but otherwise, this was a pleasant lull –which meant it was time for training.

Rey was actually really excited about the training task the General suggested for her. "You know you're welcome to fly the _Falcon_ anytime, and Chewie loves you and has agreed to stay on with the Resistance, but I thought it might be convenient if you could fly a single-pilot ship sometimes, too. So, if you're interested, Poe has offered to teach you to fly an X-Wing."

She looked at General Organa, earlier embarrassment forgotten, a smile creeping across her face. "I'm going to get to fly an X-Wing?"

The general nodded.

Rey looked at Poe, beaming. " _I'm_ going to get to fly an _X-Wing_!"

He nodded, too, and grinned.

That afternoon, she followed Poe to the flight line, where they found a two-seater training version of the X-Wing. "You're up front, I'm in back. We'll start with some basic maneuvers in the atmosphere – slow flight, steep turns, stalls, spins, take-offs and landings, then we'll go off world and have some real fun."

She climbed in and they took off. The X-Wing turned out to be a pleasure to fly. Not better than the _Millennium Falcon_ – which was easily her favorite ship – but different. Smaller, quicker to respond to control inputs, but also slipperier. Where the _Falcon_ had a smooth, solid feel to it, the X-Wing was more volatile, more unforgiving of pilot error. Once she got used to it, though, she loved the small ship, loved the way it felt more like she was wearing it than riding in it, like it was an extension of her own body.

Stalls were more of an adventure in the X-Wing than the Falcon. Poe warned her of this, then talked her through the maneuver.

"Pull back, pull back, pull back. Be ready, it stalls hard and wants to spin. Pull back…" She held her breath as she pulled the stick back, back, back against her chest.

They hit the critical angle of attack and the nose of the X-Wing dropped sharply, while the entire craft threatened to spin to the left. She jammed on right rudder, let off the back pressure on the stick and gave it full throttle, managing a fairly smooth recovery with just a bit of a wing drop and an acceptable loss of altitude. They did it several more times, until Poe finally said, "Okay, I think you've got in-atmosphere maneuvers. Ready to go off-planet?"

"Absolutely!" She said.

* * *

He could always tell when she was flying. There was a very specific combination of concentration, exhilaration and elation that he could feel then. And whatever she was flying now must be really fun, because the elation was stronger than usual.

He only picked up words between the emotions: _Barrel rooooooooollllllssssss!_ _Woohoo! Looo-oooo-ooops!_

He envied the delight she found in flying. He was a perfectly competent pilot, but for Rey, flying wasn't transportation. It was pure joy - an emotion he had hardly remembered existed until he met her. He let the connection stay, silent but there, and drank in the bliss flowing through her as she worked through wingovers and snap rolls and lazy eights; at that moment she _was_ pure joy, and he wanted her so much it hurt.

* * *

Once she had the basic maneuvers down, they did a few hyperspace jumps to some quiet, out of the way space ports to teach her to navigate. It was ridiculously easy, since the R2 unit did all the calculating.

By the time Poe signed her off, claiming that she was well on her way to being the 'second best pilot in the Resistance', she was exhausted but proud. As a self-taught pilot, learning mostly from sims, she had truly enjoyed the instruction, the explanation of aerodynamics and vacuum-of-space flight mechanics, and the time with Poe, who was sweet and funny and encouraging and brotherly.

It wasn't long before her new skills were put to the test. An informant had sent a message to the Resistance that a massive metal recycling facility on a nearly uninhabited planet was actually a cover for a First Order shipyard and arsenal. Leia needed someone to take a recon flight and see if there was any validity to the claim; it would be a long mission – ten hours each way in hyperspace. Rey volunteered; it was a fairly easy mission, she wanted to try out her new skills, and she wanted to do something that would help the Resistance. This would, by leaving the more experienced fighter pilots on base in case there was an emergency, and she thought her Force abilities would help her with the 'spying' part of the mission. Luke agreed that it was a good fit for her skill set, and in no time she had pulled a flight suit over her usual clothing and set out.

The planet she arrived at was all rocks and low, bluish-looking brush. The sky was pale lavender, and two large moons hung just over the horizon, giving off as much light as the pale sun opposite them. She landed the X-Wing in an out of the way area, concealed by some low hills, peeled out of the hot flight suit, and hiked toward the so-called metal recycling plant. All she needed to do was get a look inside, see if it was what the informant said it was, get some holos as evidence, and get out. Easy-peasy.

The facility was enormous, a huge gray rectangle of a building. She didn't see any guards outside. She reached out with the Force, searching inside for anything that might guide her. There were life forms inside, scattered, mostly bored, but in one area, there were more. A lot more, and their feel was not boredom. It was 'high alert'. She headed that way, climbed to the roof and found an air vent, shimmied down it and dropped into an empty closet. She crept out and down the hallway, toward the concentration of life forms, rounded a corner and stopped. A set of double doors directly in front of her was being guarded by at least twelve Stormtroopers. She ducked back behind the wall, but too late – one of them caught the movement and shouted, "Hey! What are you doing here?"

She turned and ran, with six troopers in pursuit. She heard one of them key a comlink, calling in back up. Damn.

She was faster than they were, but there were more of them, and they knew the building; she had the Force to guide her, but it wasn't the same as knowing where every hallway and door led, more a sense of 'this way'.

She made a sharp turn and found herself in a large hangar bay, full of partially assembled TIE fighters. She stopped long enough to snap a holo, then turned to run the other direction – and froze.

"You shouldn't be here." His voice was not pleased.

"I can see that," she snapped. The six troopers rounded the corner behind him, blasters at the ready. "Stand down," he ordered, igniting his lightsaber. "She's mine." They obliged.

Rey ignited her lightsaber as well, tensed, dropped into a fighting stance, ready for the attack. He waited, twirling his lightsaber, slow and languid, designed to lull an opponent into a false sense of security. When the attack came, as always it was swift and furious, all swirling, crackling red. They moved away from the hangar, through the halls, past the troopers who were more than glad to get out of the way.

She met him with equal fury, single-minded and intense. They slashed and parried, back and forth, but he was moving her inexorably down the hallway.

Their lightsabers were pressing against one another in a tight lock. Her arms trembled with the effort, and slowly, inexorably, she was backed into a smaller room, some sort of office. He leaned over her, smirked. "You know you're beaten, right?" He said, leaning close.

She glared at him, leaning into the lock, pressing his arm back and down. "Not yet." She summoned the Force, pushed harder and he took a step back, grunting.

"You've gotten stronger," he said. Then the door to the office slammed shut. "On three?" He asked.

Her lips curved into a smile, her eyes gleamed with a ravenous light. "One. Two. Three."

* * *

They both deactivated their light sabers, and in the absence of the pressure, he fell into her, pushing her back against the wall. He threw off the helmet and gloves, dropping them to the floor. They attacked each other in a new way now, with lips and tongues and hands. He was ravenous, and he was going to devour her. He pulled at her clothing, pushing the criss-crossing gauze off her shoulders, frustrated by the shirt underneath. Finally, he gave up trying to remove it and grabbed the thin material in his hands and ripped it away, exposing her breast.

"Hey!" She objected, but he silenced her with his mouth on hers. The he leaned down, taking her breast in his mouth, sucking on her nipple, swirling his tongue around it, then biting down.

She squealed, and he looked up. _Do you want me to stop?_

Her breath was ragged, her pupils dilated. "No," she said. "Do it again."

He raised an eyebrow.

"Please," she whispered.

He obliged, tearing the material away from her other breast and taking it in his mouth, swirling his tongue around it in the same slow languid rhythm he had spun the lightsaber, then biting down. Her gasp made his blood burn. _What?_

Her voice in his head was harsh. _I feel it…down there. Oh frack, how's that possible?_

He laughed, a low rumble, and returned his attention to her breasts, until he felt her fingers tugging at his belt. He moved his hands down, tugged at her pants and pushed them down to her ankles, where she kicked them away. "We don't have long." He swirled a finger around her clit, teasing, slid it inside her, and almost came right then from the feel of her.

She unbuckled his belt and his pants dropped to his ankles. He lifted her, and she wrapped her legs around him, hands clinging to his shoulders.

 _Yes. Now._ He felt her say, and he grabbed his cock and plunged it inside of her.

She gasped, clawed into his shoulders so hard it hurt, which only inflamed him more.

Her gasp, her warmth, they were almost too much. He struggled to last.

She knew it, and she wasn't pleased. _Don't you dare finish yet!_ She hissed in his mind. Her face was contorted in a grimace that was part pleasure and part pain and she ran her nails down his back, trying to distract him, but it just made him wilder.

 _Greedy girl,_ he replied, but made the effort to slow down, sliding his hand between their bodies and rubbing his finger over her clit, faster and faster.

"Harder," she gasped, _fuck me harder_ and he didn't disappoint her, pounding against her, against the wall, trying, trying to maintain control until she got there too. She was close, he could feel it, feel the tension in her body clenching around him and in her mind, which was blank except _yes, yes, now, oh please yes…_

They froze as the door swung open, revealing a single Stormtrooper.

Two hands shot out, waved in his direction. Two voices spoke in unison: "You saw Kylo Ren and Rey fighting."

The trooper stumbled back a few steps from the combined Force power. "I saw Kylo Ren and Rey fighting."

Kylo continued. "You will leave this room and close the door."

"I will leave this room and close the door."

" _And_ you'll stand guard and make sure no one else comes through that door." Rey added.

"And I will stand guard and make sure no one else comes through that door."

They looked at each other, and laughed. It was too absurd. He leaned down to kiss her, drinking in the moment, the connection of their minds and bodies and the adrenaline rush of discovery and the odd added bit of mirth.

Then she sent him a thought. _Fuck me. Finish me._

He gripped her underneath her thighs, spreading her legs apart a little more and slammed into her harder and deeper. She was there; he felt her tense around him, saw her mind swirl into oblivion, and he followed her, into the same oblivion, part of her, swirling and twirling in pure joy.

They sank to the floor, panting, and he shifted so he was leaning against the wall and she was on his lap, her legs still wrapped around his waist, her head on his shoulder. He could have stayed that way until all the stars burned out, but they both knew they had to go, so they disentangled their limbs and consciousnesses and started gathering their discarded articles of clothing.

Rey's shirt was ripped down the front, so she put it on backwards, and was trying to reach behind herself to secure the loose ends.

"Here," he said, "Let me help." He stood behind her and tied the loose fabric together in the back, pressing a kiss against the back of her neck. _Can't send you back to the Resistance looking like you've been ravished_.

She rolled her eyes, but there was a smile underneath.

"Go out that window – there's no one between you and your ship. I'll wait five minutes, relieve our trooper outside the door, tell him you got away and we need to pursue. You need to be off world and in hyperspace by then, because they'll send TIE fighters."

She nodded, took his hand briefly, brought his fingers to her lips, left a nibble of a kiss on them, and was out the window and running for the ship.

* * *

 **A/N**

Yeah, so I just decided to pretend the X-Wing behaves like a plane, and follows the laws of aerodynamics, because I wanted to write a flying scene for Rey. Her check-out in the X-Wing is pretty much exactly how pilots get checked out in new planes, at least at the private pilot/small plane level, which is all I know about. You go up with an instructor (and what better instructor than Poe Dameron, the best pilot in the Resistance?) perform a fairly standard set of maneuvers (the ones I included in the 'in-atmosphere' section, plus some more that aren't as interesting), do some takeoffs and landings and get signed off. Then you can fly that new type of plane. I also based the flight characteristics of the X-Wing and the Falcon on the differences between smaller, lighter planes, which really do feel like you're wearing them, and slightly larger ones, which tend to feel more solid and more like a vehicle.

And sexy times! ;)

Thanks to everyone who has read, followed, faved and reviewed. Reviews make feel pure joy. :)


	7. Visitation

**Commemoration**

* * *

Rey's discovery of the shipyard and armory – and the First Order's discovery of her – had set a series of events in motion that kept both sides on the run. By the time the Resistance launched an air raid on the shipyard, the First Order was long gone, all the partially assembled TIE fighters and weapons and whatever else they had there removed, no Stormtroopers left, just an empty building that wasn't worth the ordnance it took to blow it up.

She had apologized for blowing the mission, but Leia had reassured her. At the very least, the general said, they had caused the First Order a considerable amount of inconvenience, and that in itself was worthwhile. Now, though, the problem was finding them again.

Rey hadn't seen Kylo since that day; had barely heard from him over the bond except to know he was busy.

'Busy' meant 'I can't tell you what I'm doing and you probably wouldn't want to know anyway'.

Rey tried to ignore the uneasiness that thought brought, and the aching emptiness in her head. She kept busy, training with Luke, going on some small missions for Leia, flying with Poe, socializing with Poe and Finn and some other young pilots and soldiers, and taking care of some personal matters.

* * *

It was just before dawn and Rey was creeping down the hallways of the Resistance base. The light was soft and purple and the air was fresh and cool. She was due to meet Luke at sunrise to meditate, but she had an errand to attend to first.

Past the mess hall, past the command center, she found the medbay. She glanced around surreptitiously, verifying that no one was around, and slipped through the door. She found a 2-1B droid on call. The droid escorted her to a curtained area, seated her in a chair, retrieved the item she requested from the supply area and returned to where Rey was waiting, sleeve wrap removed. She held out her bare arm and looked away while the droid inserted a new birth control implant. It didn't hurt, just felt like a sting. She had been nervous the first time she had one inserted, but now it was routine. She thanked the droid and scurried away, glancing both ways down the hallway before she left.

Honestly, she shouldn't have to feel so _guilty_. She was a young, healthy woman living on a military base. However, she was also a Jedi in training, and the military base in question was small and insular and everyone knew everyone's business. She'd prefer not to give people a reason to discuss who she might be shagging, and she'd _really_ prefer not to have to endure a talk about avoiding attachment from Luke. In that context, she was sure he would _know_ , and she couldn't let that happen.

Meditation didn't bring the usual serenity that morning. The Force didn't seem to offer much peace to a person with a guilty conscience and no intention of repentance.

* * *

Later that day, Rey was practicing forms in a clearing behind the barracks. It was a little pocket of beauty amongst the apparatus of war, carpeted with soft, spongy green grass and sprinkled with pale purple wildflowers. It was her favorite place to practice. She had taken her boots off so she could feel the cool cushion of the grass beneath her feet, and was flowing through the forms, slowly and smoothly, just building muscle memory. A breeze wafted through the air, lifting her hair off her neck and cooling her.

 _Beautiful._

She smiled. _Well, hello_.

 _Hello._ A pause. _Is this your training?_ She felt mixed emotions from him. Envy – _smiling and barefoot in a meadow_ , and disapproval – _alone._

 _This is just practice._

 _Where's my uncle?_

 _I saw him this morning and I'll see him again this afternoon, most likely. He can't spend every second with me._

 _I would._ Longing, a promise, an offer. Temptation.

 _And how much_ training _would we get done?_

He could hear the smirk in her thoughts. _Enough. You'd have to learn control, so you could keep your hands off me._

 _Me?_ She rolled her eyes so hard he felt it.

He was quiet, watching her as she practiced, feeling the breeze and smelling the fresh grass as she crushed it under her feet.

 _Rey?_

 _Yes?_

 _I need you._

The light, flirty tone was gone, and she felt desperation, raw and urgent, and that emotion that she was most familiar with, loneliness. She would have infiltrated the _Finalize_ r itself to take that away. Luckily, she didn't have to.

 _Come here. Tonight._

He was silent for a moment, considering that particular act of madness, then: _Tonight. Yes._

She felt a warmth spread over her face and through her body, an anticipatory thrumming between her legs. Tonight. He needed her.

* * *

Rey was fidgety. She had excused herself early that evening, telling Finn and Poe she had some reading to do. They usually hung out in the base's common room in the evenings, watching a holovid or playing a game or just chatting and joking around. Hours she cherished, just being with friends – something she had missed out on her whole life.

She picked up a bowl of fruit from the mess hall and took it to her room. She showered, then she couldn't decide what to wear. Night clothes? Her usual attire? Something nice, like a dress? Well, that last one wasn't an option, since she didn't own a dress. Nothing? She blushed; she wasn't that bold yet. She finally decided on her usual pants and top without the wraps or belt or boots. She turned the bed down, then made it up again, then turned it down again. Indecisive. She left it half-made, the blankets turned back, but still neat. She dimmed the lights and turned on some music. It occurred to her that she should have gotten some ale or liquor, but it was too late for that now. Then there was nothing to do but wait. She took out a datapad and tried to read; she did have some Jedi history materials Luke had given her to read and discuss, but she couldn't focus. She had read the same sentence about ten times when she became aware of his presence on the planet.

Time ticked by; she tracked his progress through the woods, into the living quarters, down the hallway. Her door slid open then closed and he was there, in her room, across the room and taking her in his arms and kissing her, hands in her hair, on her shoulders, roaming down her back and clutching her arms and thinking _Oh, how I've missed you._

She just managed to lock the door with the Force before she melted into his embrace, moaning into his mouth, twining her hands around his neck and into his hair. _You were just – gone - for so long. I hate it when you block me out._ She didn't mean to sound petulant, but she had missed his constant presence so much.

He leaned back and looked into her eyes. "I know. It was unavoidable."

She nodded. Of course it was. He was who he was. Still…

He ran a finger over her face, from her temple, along her hairline, to her chin. "I would never, ever block you out if I didn't have to. Never leave you lonely." His voice was raw, something painful roiling under the surface.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

He shook his head. "I'd rather not…"

 _Please?_

He sighed. "You caused the Order a great deal of inconvenience. And I let you escape – again. That couldn't go without some, ah, chastisement."

Inconvenience. The same word his mother had used. So alike, and they didn't even realize it. And… _chastisement_. She gulped. "What…"

He placed a finger on her lips, shook his head. _No_. She only caught a few fleeting images – an audience chamber, a terrifying holographic figure, dark shapes in the shadows, pain and exhaustion and more pain, in exquisite variety – before he managed to bury the memory.

Guilt bubbled up. Whatever had been done to him, it was her fault.

 _No. Not your fault. Never your fault._

She stood on her toes and placed a soft kiss on his lips. Her fingers slid under his clothing, removing the layers as she kissed his face, his neck, his shoulders, his chest, finding new bruises and half-healed gashes there. She drew in a breath, looked into his eyes as she ran her fingers over the worst of the wounds. "I can…I'm not very good at it yet, but I can make this better." Force Healing was not something she had practiced much, but she could do it, a little. She led him across to her room, to her bed, had him take off his boots and pressed him down on the blankets, placed a hand over the worst cut, closing her eyes and focusing, connecting to the Force, thinking about the skin knitting together. Her hands felt warm as she moved them over his skin, pulling away the fever of infection and the throb of pain and leaving behind only thin scars.

When she finished, her hands were still on his chest, and he covered them with his own, and looked up at her, eyes large and soft and grateful. "Rey. Thank you," he whispered, his voice thick. "No one has done that for me since…" she saw an image of Luke, much younger, hair sandy blond, no beard, eyes bright blue and twinkling, telling two little boys not to get so carried away sparring, as he healed a nasty burn on Ben's arm.

He pulled her toward him, pressing her chest against his, pulling her lips to his, and kissed her, oh so slowly, heat building as his hands caressed her now, pushing her top away, breaking the kiss only long enough to remove it. Soft, hot kisses trailed down her neck and back up again, finding her ear, nibbling at her earlobe, breath hot and fast in her ear, the heat, ironically, making her shiver, then moving back to her mouth, lips slow and soft, tongue finding hers, moving with hers, slow and soft and deep.

These were Ben's kisses.

She slid into the bed beside him, their bodies fitting together like puzzle pieces. His hands slid to her breasts, thumbs rubbing over her nipples in little circles. She reached down, feeling through his pants and sighing at the hard feel of him. Small fingers unfastened his pants, small hands pushed them down toward his ankles, where he managed to kick them the rest of the way off. They were pressed together, skin to skin, hands roaming over each other's bodies. Her hands returned to his erection, stroking him, palm sweeping over the head, spreading the liquid there on her hand so it slid up and down smoothly. He groaned as he continued to kiss her, then slid his hands down, too, pushing the waist of her pants down so that she could repeat his method of kicking them away. His fingers moved between her thighs, slid into her folds. She felt his excitement level rise as he felt her wetness. _Mmmm. Always so ready._

She blushed a little, but she couldn't deny it. She was always ready for him, wet before he even touched her. But she wanted to go slow this time; make it last.

She pushed him onto his back and shifted down in the bed, running her hands down his chest, finding his hip bones and running her tongue along one, then the other. She looked up at him, smiled wickedly, and moved lower, closer to tasting him, closer to feeling his bliss as her lips closed around him. He groaned. She moved closer, tongue running along the crease of his leg, drawing out the sweet torture. _Rey, please, I need your mouth on me. Now._

She obliged, taking him in her mouth as far as she could, making him groan with pleasure that she felt, moving up and down, slowly at first, then faster as his hands pressed her head down. He caught one of her hands and sucked her fingers in the same rhythm, then let out a shuddering groan and pulled her up. "Any more of that and I'll be done," he whispered, "and I'm not ready to be done."

He rolled them over, until she was on her back, and he kissed her, long and deep, then moved down her neck and along her collarbone.

"I want to taste every inch of your skin," he breathed against her, cupping her breasts with both hands, licking and kissing one, suckling the nipple, swirling his tongue around it, then moving to the other and doing the same, then sliding his tongue along the crease between them as he pressed them together. She felt like fire was running through her veins. He moved lower, trailing those searing kisses along the curve of her waist and her hip. A quivering started in the pit of her stomach and moved down between her legs. He was almost there. Kisses across her hip bone, along the crease of her leg, like she had done to him. Closer now; the quivering was an ache. But he didn't stop at the place that was demanding his attention. He moved his tongue down her thigh. She let out an annoyed 'Unnh' but his reply was a soft chuckle.

 _You wanted slow._

He looked up at her, eyes smoldering, then leaned down and ran his tongue up her other thigh. "Soft," he whispered, breath hot against her skin, and finally, finally he dipped his tongue into her. She let out a long moan as his tongue slid between her folds, slowly, savoring it. _I love to taste you._ She knew it was true; at first she had thought he only did _that_ for her, but he didn't. She could tell how it drove his excitement levels higher, how he felt a masculine pride at the way she became a helpless, quivering mess of pleasure under the attention of his tongue and fingers – which was exactly what was happening now, as he flicked his tongue faster and faster over her clit, slid his long fingers inside her.

She lifted her hips, demanding more, tension mounting until she was levitating a few inches off the surface of the bed, hands twisting in his hair, little sighs and moans that she didn't even try to contain coming from her lips, faster and faster. A stray thought that she was glad the barracks had thick duracrete walls. He gripped her hips, pulling her closer, and then she was there, spasms of release shooting through her, once, twice, three times, cries escaping her lips as she dropped back onto the mattress, hands still in his hair.

He crawled up, hovering over her, and she saw herself as he did, face flushed, lips parted and gasping for breath, eyes blazing, a picture of perfect pleasure that he had created, felt his arousal grow as he looked at her, felt his pride at this relatively new power he had discovered, to give someone that kind of pleasure, felt how it had changed something in him.

She looked into his eyes, sent him a thought, a feeling: _Want. You. Closer_. The truth that she would let him do anything he wanted to do to her right that minute. He leaned down, lowered himself onto her, kissing her deeply as she spread her legs wider and tipped her hips up, a silent plea for his cock that he answered by plunging inside her with a desperate grunt. His strokes were long and slow at first, filling her and withdrawing, waiting just long enough that she felt the absence and wanted him more before sinking into her again, deeper this time, over and over, slowing down if he got too close, drawing it out and making it last.

She lifted her hips to meet him, squirming until the angle was just right, losing herself with him, their bodies and minds all melted together without thought or words, just physical sensations and emotions and an electric shimmer, abandoning the slow burn of earlier for something stronger and faster, building toward release.

When that release came, it shook them, and the bed, and the air.

He collapsed beside her, pulling her onto his shoulder, and she wrapped her leg over his and they just stayed like that for a while, waiting for breath and the ability to think to return.

"Stay," she whispered.

"I couldn't move if I tried."

"No. _Stay_. You could. I'd explain and they'd let you."

Ben held her tighter and sighed. _If only..._ "I can't," Kylo Ren said, voice resigned.

"I know." She sighed too.

"But I can stay the night – if you want me to."

She looked up at him, suddenly shy. "I'd like that." She nuzzled against him. "If you're sure you won't…that it won't cause you any problems."

"No. I informed General Hux I would be away overnight."

She raised an eyebrow. "You informed…what exactly did you tell him?"

"Oh, you know, just that I planned to spend the night at the 'top secret' Resistance base, having my way with the enemy."

"Wha-…" Then she saw the look on his face, and they collapsed on each other in a fit of giggles. "But really, how did you manage?"

"A bit of truth and a lot of deception. I told him I needed a woman. I just didn't tell him it was you."

"So General Hux is _covering_ for us?"

He nodded.

She laughed and curled into his shoulder. "In that case, just hold me for a bit," she whispered, and he did, neither sleeping, just enjoying the feeling of being held, and of being together.

* * *

Luke did not sleep well that night. Something felt off. Not wrong, exactly, not bad, but _off_ , like when there was a sudden change in the barometric pressure. He couldn't quite figure out what it was, even when he searched the Force, but there was _something_. Maybe it was just a change in the weather, but he didn't think so. He felt like it was something of great portent that was hovering just outside his perception.

* * *

 **A/N**

So this chapter got long and the visit isn't even over yet. But I really wanted to do a full Rey/Ben Sexytime scene. There's still fruit to be eaten and pillowtalk to be, um, talked, and maybe even some family-related awkwardness. ;)

I feel sure there must be birth control in this universe, and Rey's a smart girl. I don't see her taking any chances in that department. And the last thing the galaxy needs is _another_ Skywalker.

Luke: I'm sure Ben would have long ago become an expert at keeping Luke from knowing what he was up to, and Rey would be quite careful about that in her current situation - but he had to sense _something,_ right?

Thanks for reading, following, faving and reviewing. Reviews are like food for writers, and I appreciate every one as much as a starving girl appreciates a quarter-portion of green stuff and instant muffin.


	8. Disclosure

**Commemoration**

* * *

They had finally gotten up, visited the 'fresher, put on minimal clothing, had some water. Now they were again ensconced in Rey's small bed, lights dimmed, propped against the pillows, wrapped in the thick blankets a girl acclimated to the desert needed to stay warm on damp, temperate D'Qar. She had brought the bowl of fruit over and was popping juicy juna berries into her mouth, then his, then hers.

He was running his fingers absently across her back. He stopped briefly at a scar just above her shoulder blade. An old scar, about five inches long and badly healed. He traced it with his finger.

She sensed his question before he asked. "Stepped the wrong place on a rusted out Star Destroyer when I was about eight and had just started scavenging. Fell right through the floor; a piece of metal scraped my back. I managed to grab a girder and keep from plunging down a hundred meters, so overall I can't complain. But I had to trade three day's worth of food for enough water to clean the scrape and a tiny bacta patch to keep infection away."

 _Eight._ He thought about when he was eight. Sitting in his mother's office, being tutored by C3PO while she worked. _Bored._ Being introduced to dignitaries from around the galaxy, reading their expectations of him _(child of Leia Organa, rebel princess and Han Solo, war hero – he must be a prodigy, a leader, a savior prince; or, in a snide whisper: Vader's grandson , you know, and I heard he is stronger in the Force than any of them; we should keep an eye on this one)_ : having his father pop in and take him by the hand, saying the boy had had enough of stuffy offices and stuffier politicians, and whisking him off to the cantina in Mos Eisley or Maz's place on Takodana or some other dive. Not dangling a hundred meters in the air from a rusty floor girder or going three days without eating in exchange for cleaning a wound. How privileged he had been, without even knowing it.

"Tell me. About Jakku."

She shrugged against him. "There's nothing to tell, really. It was just a temporary waypoint. I survived. I waited." _I cried myself to sleep most nights at first._

He liked to think he was the one she was waiting for, even though she didn't realize it. "But things happened while you were waiting. I'd like to know."

She didn't answer for a long time, and he thought she wasn't going to. She looked at the berries in her hand, popped the whole handful greedily into her mouth. When she had swallowed them, she said, "Three."

He raised his eyebrows.

"That's how many times I had fresh fruit on Jakku. Once, when I was very little, an old woman gave me a piece of juicy, orange fruit she was eating. Once when I was about nine, a freighter full of a shipment of Muja fruit crashed and we all went and grabbed as many as we could. Traded most of them, of course, because they were worth so much, but I ate a whole piece. And then when I was about fifteen, this boy I hardly knew just gave me a handful of cloudberries, randomly. Insisted he just wanted me to have them. I gobbled them down. Then he tried to kiss me, like he deserved it. I wacked him with my staff."

He chuckled. "So. He got what he deserved."

She nodded.

"What else?"

"Five: How old I think I was when I was left there. Four: The number of fuses it took to trade for a liter of water. Seven: Days the longest sandstorm lasted, when I ran out of water and almost died of dehydration." He saw: _Little girl, brown hair plastered to her forehead with long-dried sweat, lying on her side in that old AT-AT, lips cracked and bleeding, heart racing, eyes sunken and dark, hallucinating…what? Two people hurrying away, toward a ship, a blond man and a brunette woman. Her parents, or just a figment of her thirst-fevered brain? Fools, if they were the people who had left her there._

"Forty-three: Types of ships I learned to pilot on the flight simulator I scavenged and rebuilt. Two: Times per month that I got to bathe out behind the wash station, if I was lucky." _Crouching behind a tent, scrubbing her skin in bits and pieces to avoid undressing._

Her mood darkened, her voice lowered "Twenty-three: Times Unkar Plutt hit me. Probably five hundred: Times he looked at me like a piece of meat that he knew he would eventually get to devour." Kylo Ren clenched his fists as he saw this Unkar Plutt casually backhanding her for arguing over a price; felt the sting as his hand connected with her cheek, felt her skin crawl as his eyes roved over her developing body. This Plutt didn't deserve to look at her at all, much less like that.

He held her closer.

"You already know about ten. Eleven: How old I was when three men ambushed me out near the Crackle and tried to…" he felt her fear and anger, still thick and palpable, "…Tried to touch me; told me it was time I became a woman." She felt the anger swirl off him, could almost smell the darkness _; I will hunt them down and end them if you say the word._ His rage felt like a protective blanket. "Twelve: times I hit them with my staff. Four: teeth they left on the sand. Zero: Times anyone dared try to mess with me like that again."

She snuggled closer against him.

"Seventeen. How old I was the last time I trusted anyone on that forsaken planet. Two other scavengers. They stole a year's work from me; a ship I found and fixed up and learned to fly. It was beautiful. Would have made me rich beyond my imagination; never hungry again. They just flew off in it." She paused. "Five thousand, five hundred, thirty eight. Marks on the wall. Days I waited."

He was seething. It had been worse than he thought. Everyone and everything on that planet had conspired to hurt her or use her. No one had cared for her at all. How could no one care for her, when she was the most precious thing in the universe?

His arms tightened around her. "One." He said, voice low and dark.

"One what?" She looked up.

"One push of a button to obliterate it all. Starkiller could be rebuilt." His breath was hot against her ear. "I'd even let you push the button."

She sucked in a breath. Swallowed. "No. I…I don't want to blow up a planet!"

"You considered it."

"I didn't."

"You hesitated. I saw." _She was standing with him in a control room, looking at the dun-colored globe of Jakku on a monitor, his arms around her, her finger depressing a button, the globe incinerating_.

"That was just a fleeting thought. Everyone has those thoughts. It doesn't mean…not every thought has to become an action."

"It can."

She shook her head. "Most people on Jakku were like me; just trying to survive themselves. Besides, Jakku made me who I am."

"It made you who you are. Then I'm grateful to Jakku. But that doesn't mean I would be able to control myself if I saw this Plutt who beat you, or those three men, or the scavengers who cheated you."

Her silence held no disapproval of that sentiment.

He relaxed his tight hold on her and took a large red fruit from the bowl, turning it in his hands. She watched. Large hands, with long fingers. Dangerous hands. Sensitive hands.

He sliced the red fruit with a paring knife from the bowl, held out half to her. It was an odd fruit, filled with shining dark red seeds instead of soft, juicy flesh.

She turned it in her hand. "I've never had one of these. What part do you even eat?"

He smiled and removed some of the glistening seeds. "These. They're not like normal seeds. Taste."

She took them, put them in her mouth. Her face lit up in surprise as she bit into them and tasted the sweet-tart red juice. She laughed through red-stained lips. "Delicious."

His eyes moved over her face, as if he were trying to memorize it. "Your smile. Your laugh. I treasure them. And I will treasure this image:" _The two of them standing in front of the control console again, more detailed than her fleeting construction: They were in a ship now, not on a planet, looking out a viewport. Stars blurred by. Officers sat at consoles. She was dressed in black robes, like his, but softer and more graceful. No mask for her, just a hood that framed her face. He was standing behind her, arms encircling her waist, leaning down to see the soft curve of her cheek._ "Until it is real."

She frowned, touched the scars on his chest. "I've seen the results of your master's training. I'd prefer not."

He pulled her against his chest, wrapped his arms tight around her and held her as if something was trying to pull her away. " _That_ would never happen. I would not see you subjected to _him_. If you agreed to let me teach you, you would be mine alone. And I would cherish you."

She ate another handful of seeds, red juice staining her fingers. "Mmm? And how would you manage that?"

"The old way. The Sith way." He couldn't further express the mutinous thought, afraid that it would be sensed by his master despite all his care at guarding his increasingly subversive actions this past year.

But he knew Rey read it as clearly as if he had spelled it out.

Horror and hope flickered across her wide eyes. "You think you could…you would…Then why haven't you…?"

"I'm not strong enough alone. But together? With your power, and mine, combined? With this Force bond? Think what we could be. We could do anything. _Anything_." He sent her images of the two of them, scenes shifting like in a dream: On the ship's bridge again, then sweeping down a hallway, underlings parting in fear to avoid their wake, black robes billowing; on a battlefield, back to back, his hand sweeping out and sending enemies flying against a wall, hers mirroring the action on the other side. Then back on the ship, his hands encircling her waist, his lips against her ear, biting, licking, hot breath whispering to her that they would rule the galaxy. His hands sliding lower, along her abdomen, toward that one place that was blazing with want. Telling the officers 'leave us' and watching them disappear, like people in a dream were wont to do. Then he was turning her head and kissing her, grinding against her rear, and she could feel that he was hard and it made her want him so much that she hissed 'take me here' and somehow their clothes weren't in the way and he had bent her over the console, his hands rubbing against her clit and his cock burying itself in her, and she was crying out as they came in record time.

He felt her shiver, pleasure and fear mingled. Not fear of him, he sensed; fear of herself. She was tempted, and it frightened her. She sighed. "I can't. You know I can't. I may not be all light, but I don't want to be all dark, either."

He released his hold on her, huffed in annoyance _. Stubborn girl_. But…would she be the same without her stubborn light?

 _No, I wouldn't. You_ _ **know**_ _that._

He sighed, disappointment flickering over his face. _I need your light; I need your darkness; I need you._

She shifted in the bed so that she was facing him. She was looking at him oddly; her head tilted to one side, eyes narrowed, as if she were appraising him. The look made him want to squirm. He felt something; a thought forming in her mind that she hid from him, as her eyes searched over his features. Cataloguing his features, looking beneath and seeing _him_ ; something clicking into place. He could almost feel her thoughts turning like gears. Then the light in her eyes changed, and she was looking at him as if he were…precious. She was looking at him the way he looked at her. She reached out, touched a finger ever so gently to his scar. Her scar.

"What?" He asked.

"Just…thinking. Considering…something."

He raised his eyebrows.

She shook her head. _No. Not yet. Not ready. I have…a thought._

Was she actually considering…

"Joining the dark side? No. But, umm, that last part? I liked that. I'd like to…"

"You're trying to distract me."

"Is it working?"

Before the last word was out of her mouth he had wrapped an arm around her waist and snatched her up out of the bed. She squealed and giggled and kicked her bare feet in surprise. He spun her around against the desk, dropping his pants and rubbing his hardness against her, kissing her neck and shoulder, leaning around her so he could kiss her mouth as she twined a hand around his neck and into his hair. One hand found its way to her breast and the other to the place between her legs that was screaming for his touch. He found her wet and warm and ready and then he was inside her, and just like in the vision, they came together in record time, collapsing on the bed, panting and sweaty.

"See?" He breathed in her ear. "The dark holds passion. It holds bliss. Can you honestly tell me you could give that up, like a good little Jedi should?"

"No." She was lying on her side, leaning on an elbow, looking at him with blazing eyes. She grabbed one of the Almakian apples from the bowl and took a large crunching bite, then held it out to him. He took it and bit it as well, juice running down the side of his mouth. She grabbed it back and took another bite. "I don't have to be a Jedi. But I don't have to go to the dark side either." Her voice was muffled from the mouthful of apple. "We could run away. Just us. Find some uninhabited Outer Rim planet – a pretty green and blue one, like Takodana, and just _be_. Not light, not dark, just us. Plenty of room for passion – and peace."

He took the apple back from her and finished it, half-tossing and half-Force-floating the core to the garbage chute. 'Just be.' That was a luxury he had never had – to just be. He was Han Solo and Leia Organa's son, with huge shoes to fill; he was Vader's grandson, with a legacy to live down – or, later, live up to. He was Snoke's – what? Apprentice? Pet? Weapon? Tool?

He lay back against the pillows and she snuggled into his chest, her head tucked under his chin, her arm wrapped around him, her leg draped over his.

 _Just be._ It was a lovely dream, and they shared it as they drifted into a pleasant, exhausted sleep.

* * *

 **A/N**

So, since all they ever seem to do in this story is get it on and eat, you got not one but two fruit myths. From Greek mythology: Hades and Persephone, of course, with the pomegranate: Hades falls in love with Persephone and kidnaps her to be the queen of the underworld; her mother demands her back and threatens to never let anything on Earth grow unless Zeus agrees; Zeus, knowing better than to piss off Mother Nature, agrees, but since Persephone ate some pomegranate seeds while in the underworld, she has to return there every year; that's what causes winter. And from Christianity, Eve tempting Adam with the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, traditionally portrayed as an apple. Note that, despite what a lot of people think, the fruit didn't just give knowledge of evil. It was called the Tree of the Knowledge of Good _and_ Evil for a reason; it's actually a literary device called a merism, which is an expression that mentions opposites, but actually implies 'everything'. In other words, good, evil, light, dark…and all that messy gray area in between. But of course, those are Earth myths about Earth fruit. Nothing to worry about here, right?

Did I just write an academic-ish note about mythology, theology and literary devices in my smut fic? Yes. Yes, I did. ;)

This got long again, so I ended it here. There's a funny, awkward bit in the next chapter, after all this seriousness. And Rey has an idea...(one that doesn't involve sex or food!)

Thanks for reading, following, faving and especially reviewing. Makes my day (or night). :)


	9. Discovery

**Commemoration**

* * *

In his dream, he was Ben Solo again. He was Ben Solo and he was eight years old and he was back in their apartment on Chandrila. It was a nice apartment – spacious and well-appointed, as befitted his mother's position in the government. He had a nice room – sleek built-in desk, large closet, lots of shelves for toys, his own private refresher, and a big, soft bed with a thick, deep blue comforter stuffed with the down of some sort of water bird.

He was Ben Solo. He was eight years old. He was in his room on Chandrila. He had overslept. And his mother was yelling to him through the door. "Wake up! Are you in there? It's late."

Ugh. He had been sleeping so good, too.

A loud, insistent rap at the door. Her 'I-mean-business' knock. "You missed meditation with Luke. He was worried."

He pulled a pillow over his head.

 _Aww, crap_. What was this, the fifth time this cycle? He was gonna be in so much trouble. Luke had been visiting Chandrila a lot recently; Ben knew his mother had asked her brother to help him deal with his – nightmares? Force terrors? And the meditation helped, sometimes. But why did it have to be so early in the morning?

The knocking at the door was more insistent now. "Hello? Rey? Are you alright?"

Huh?

Why was his mother calling him –

He opened his eyes. Small military-style bunk; compact rectangular room. Too-bright late-morning sunlight streaming in through the high window. Warm nearly-naked Rey sprawled across his body, snoring lightly

Another insistent knock on the door. His mother's voice. "Rey? I'm worried. If you don't say something by the time I count to ten I'm coming in! One. Two."

 _Not a dream, not a dream, not a dream!_

 _Rey! ReyReyRey! Wake up!_ He put a hand on her shoulder and jostled her. _Rey! Wake up!_

"Three. Four."

"Hmmmm?" She mumbled, looking up at him with soft, sleepy, _adoring_ eyes. It stopped his breath for a second; if he could just freeze time with her looking at him like that he would be the happiest man alive.

"Five. Six."

Only freezing time was beyond any power he had, and…

 _We overslept and MY MOTHER MY MOTHER is about to come through that door. Please wake up and tell her you're okay. Please!_

She felt his panic. Her eyes flew wide and she jolted up, scrambling to process thoughts.

"Seven…."

"Whuh – huh? I'm awake!"

"Rey? Are you okay? I'm sorry, but Luke was very concerned. He said he had a…an odd feeling. When you didn't show up for meditation, he sent me to check on you."

She stumbled out of the bed, wrapping herself in a blanket, and went to the door. Turned back to him and put a finger to her lips. _Shhhh_. Then she unlocked the door and cracked it open, just enough that one eye was visible. "I'm okay. I – uh – I had a bad dream last night. Kept me awake and I guess when I finally dozed back off I was just zonked. I'm sorry. Please tell Luke I'm really, really sorry I missed meditation. I'll tell him too but – I'm fine. Really fine. And sorry. Didn't mean to worry anyone and…sorry. Truly sorry."

Leia cut her off. "Shhhh. Shhhh. It's okay. You just overslept. We were worried, that's all."

Rey nodded. "I'll get dressed and…tell Luke I'll…ugh." She rubbed a hand over her face.

There was a pause, and he saw what had to be his mother's hand pat Rey on the shoulder. A gentle, reassuring gesture. "Take your time. Relax."

"Okay," Rey said, sliding the door closed. She turned, leaned her back against the door and slid to the floor, rubbing her hands over her face. Waves of tension rolled off him. His mother. He hadn't seen her in so long. Her hand, patting Rey's shoulder, her voice...it hurt.

When he looked at Rey, though, he saw a smile spread across her face.

 _What?_ He failed to see anything amusing.

 _Afraid of being caught in bed with a girl by your mother?_ She smirked.

 _That's hardly the only thing I had to be worried about-_

 _Worried that she might want to have a long, awkward talk with you?_

 _Stop._

 _Oh, I know. She might ground you for a month. Take the keys to the ship. Make you clean out the hangar._

 _Stop!_ But somehow, she had made him smile, too. For a fleeting moment, he felt like he was about fifteen, and it was _before_ , and he could almost see what could have been.

He reached for her and she was across the room, back in the bed pulling the blanket over their heads, nuzzling against his chest. "I liked waking up in your arms," she whispered.

"Me too."

"Are you…will you get in trouble? Will Hux be looking for you?"

"He will. But I'll… well, I'll talk my way out of it."

Her face wrinkled in concern. "You sure?"

"Of course." He kissed her nose.

"Alright then. I'd better get dressed. Looks like you'll be going out the window this time."

* * *

Hux was waiting in the hangar when he landed. Wonderful. He slipped his mask over his face, glad for the concealment, lowered the ramp and swept out of the ship, looking assured and imposing.

When he reached Hux, the general was tapping his foot. "You're late."

"I'm aware. I was unavoidably delayed. Hyperdrive malfunction."

"Ah. I noticed that you were oddly immobile, somewhere in deep space, between systems."

Kylo gritted his teeth. "Which should corroborate my explanation. Broken hyperdrive. Not moving. Thank you for verifying that for me." He moved to depart, but the general stepped smoothly into his path.

"Seems like a long way to go for a shag."

He scowled behind the mask. This was insufferable. But…

…they had had a whole night. It had been bliss. He already craved it again. So, he needed Hux's unintentional cooperation.

He remembered the general's discomfiture last time. Hux was so tightly wound, Kylo doubted it would be difficult to make him uncomfortable again. It might even be fun. The unseen scowl turned to an unseen smirk. "Perhaps I have unusual tastes that cannot be satisfied so easily." _Rey, only Rey, only and always._ "If you require more details…"

Bright red spots appeared on Hux's cheeks. "No!" He cleared his throat and made eye contact with the wall behind Kylo. "Umm. Well. Right then. I assume you were able to repair your hyperdrive adequately?"

Kylo gave a single nod. "Will there be anything else?"

"No. Thank you for the…report."

"Indeed." Kylo turned and swept toward his quarters, a grin hidden beneath the mask.

* * *

"We have to tell her," Leia said.

Luke shook his head.

"She deserves to know who she is; where she came from."

He stared at her in stony silence.

"Luke. If she's having disturbing dreams - do you want her to figure it out herself?"

 _An X-Wing, burning through the atmosphere, flames licking the fuselage. A landing so bad it was a miracle anyone walked away. Luke, stumbling out of the ship, battered, bloody, injured, carrying a small girl who looked as bad. Blood dripping from a gash on her cheek, hair matted with water and mud, crying, wailing. Luke calling to Leia, apologizing over and over again, saying words that she couldn't reconcile; words that were about her son but that made no sense – **no sense** – because what Luke was saying – it couldn't be possible. The little girl wailing, still, and Luke saying they had to hide her, because she was the only one left._

Luke sighed. "No." He smoothed a wrinkle from his robe, staring off into the middle distance. "I don't know what went wrong. That Plutt was supposed to take her to San Tekka, along with the map. I certainly paid him enough. She was supposed to be taken in by the Church of the Force. They had a safe house, a group of adherents. They would have cared for her, taught her…"

Leia sighed. "I thought she was there. I contacted Lor and asked if Unkar Plutt gave him something for safe-keeping. He said yes. I assumed he meant the girl. I should have followed up, made sure, but I was…not thinking clearly. If only you had told me about leaving the map…"

"I didn't want you to find me then."

* * *

Jakku had not been kind, but it had given her some invaluable gifts. Tenacity. Self-reliance. Strength. Courage. The one she was most grateful for, though, was the ability to think. Really think, for herself, without constraints. That was a gift from Jakku.

She was self-taught in everything, from which parts on a wrecked starship were worth how many portions, to how to rebuild a droid, to how to pilot. She had learned by doing; by taking things apart and putting them back together until the pieces fit, until whatever it was worked.

Learning was the only thing that had kept the loneliness at bay, so anytime she wasn't working or sleeping (and that was little enough time) she was learning something.

She had only been half there on D'Qar all day, the other half making sure he had gotten home and handled General Hux (she enjoyed seeing the general's blush as much as he did) and just sort of holding on, unwilling to let him go.

The sun was setting, hitting the dust and debris of D'Qar's rings and making them shimmer pink and orange and purple. She had gone to the meadow, and was lying back, wiggling her toes in the soft grass, breathing in the scent of the lavender flowers, staring into the fluffy gilded clouds in the sky.

Now, finally, after stumbling through the day, apologizing to Luke way too many times for missing meditation, insisting she was fine, _fine,_ she was at last alone and could examine the thought – thoughts – that had come to her last night. She wasn't ready to share them, not even with him, so, with a tinge of regret, she closed off the bond. She hated to do that, and rarely did. It left her feeling incomplete. But for now, she needed to be alone with these thoughts.

There were two, and she wasn't sure which one frightened her more.

The first was the simplest. There was nothing to study, nothing to analyze. It just was.

She loved him.

That was what had led to the second; and the second thought was the one that would require study. Research. Caution.

 _"The old way. The Sith way."_

He had never even hinted at such mutiny before. She had only ever picked up a sense of overwhelming dread and inescapable hopelessness concerning his master, seasoned with the occasional spike of stark terror.

 _"…Then why haven't you…?"_

 _"I'm not strong enough alone. But together? We could do anything. Anything."_

And that was the second thought, the one that had shaken her more than the first: She would be willing to do it, to help him, if, _if_ at the end, she got him. _All_ of him. And was able to keep herself.

Was that possible? She knew there had been those who returned from the Dark side. But had anyone stepped in, stepped to the edge _intentionally_ and come back? Was it really so irresistible, if you went in with your eyes open, with the best of intentions?

She didn't know. She knew lots of things; schematics of dozens of kinds of ships stored in her brain, ready and waiting for her to call them up and look at them as if they were projected on a holoscreen. Procedures for repairing countless types of engines, hyperdrives, droids, speeders, parts. The exact amount of back pressure on the stick that was required to land a ship so gently that you weren't even sure you were on the ground yet. The precise angle at which one had to hit the atmosphere to avoid either skipping off or burning up. But she knew very little galactic history; even less Jedi and Sith history. Those kinds of materials were rarely found on crashed freighters or fighters, and while she had always enjoyed stories and legends, that kind of information just hadn't been practical, and therefore, she had not dwelt on it much.

But now, she had a reason to care; to figure it out.

Luke had Jedi history materials all over the place; things he had recovered from the first temple, things he had collected over the years; writings on datapads, holocrons, even some ancient print books and scrolls. She had read some things – mostly practical training manuals – not bothering with the dry, dusty history. She hadn't been that interested, and there was so _much_ it had always seemed overwhelming. She never could figure out where to start. At the beginning, thousands of years ago? With the Old Republic that had lasted a thousand years? With the last generation of Jedi, the ones who had been wiped out by Order 66? It had always seemed like so much impractical information. But history was filled with people, people who had succeeded, people who had failed, people who had made good choices and bad; she needed to know about those people.

She would take them apart and put them back together again until she knew what made them tick, until she could recognize the mistakes and avoid them, just like she did when she was working on a ship. There were dangers in that, too. An innocuous-looking piece of safety wire that hadn't been twisted and pigtailed correctly could pierce right through a thumb or finger. A tiny broken P-lead wire on a ship resulted in a situation where the ignition switch didn't shut off, and the engine could kick to life unexpectedly at the slightest bump– and slice off the body parts of any unlucky mechanic who might be working on that engine at the time. Tiny mistake, big danger. Easy to avoid if you knew what to look for.

But how to know what to look for? The same way you did with piloting and maintenence: read the accident reports and learn from the mistakes of others.

Suddenly, she knew exactly where to start, and it was so blindingly obvious she didn't know why she hadn't seen it sooner. She wouldn't need a datapad or a holocron, either. For this research, she had living, breathing primary sources right here.

She would start, she decided, with Darth Vader.

* * *

 **A/N** :

So, I feel like this is finally an actual story (although I'm not totally sure where I'm going with it yet) and not just a series of encounters. But don't worry, there'll still be plenty of those. These two can't keep their hands off each other for long. ;)

 **P-leads:** This is a very real issue when dealing with piston-engine airplanes. 'The prop is always hot' is well-known advice. This is because if the wire known as a P-lead, running from the ignition to the magnetos, becomes disconnected or cut (from vibration or whatever), you have what is known as a "hot mag" situation. This means that if you move or bump the propeller, it can start, and, yes, slice off any body parts that might be in the way. The 'hot prop' issue is such a constant in aviation, I figured, why wouldn't a version of it be around in the Star Wars universe?

I'm afraid Rey's not going to like what she finds out when she hears Anakin's story.

Sorry there wasn't any Rey and Kylo/Ben hotness in this chapter. There will be plenty more ahead. Thanks to everyone who has read, reviewed, faved and followed! Reviews motivate me, so if you want to get to Reylo sexytimes sooner , please review! It makes me write faster!


	10. Hypocenter

**Commemoration**

* * *

 _"You. You're afraid…that you'll never be as strong as Darth Vader."_

It was the first thing she had known about him. It was the starting point; it was the hypocenter. The battle of wills that led her to pluck that thought from his mind was what had forged the bond, even though neither of them knew it at the time.

* * *

Chewie had gotten them back to D'Qar, and Finn had been taken to the medbay. He was in a coma, but was expected to recover. She was dazed and overwhelmed and grateful, so grateful, that these people were taking her in. They had given her a room, food, acceptance; things Rey had never been _given_. That night, she would sleep in _her_ bunk, in _her_ room, clean and scrubbed from a real shower, wearing the soft night clothes she had found folded neatly in a drawer.

It was all too much. BB-8. The _Millennium Falcon_. Her abduction. Her escape. The Force. Han. Oh, Han Solo, who had been 'thinking about' offering her a job. Stabbed by his own son. She could still see it when she closed her eyes. She scrubbed at her eyelids with her fists to wipe the image away. And – _him_. Kylo Ren. Why had he come after her in the forest? For the lightsaber? For revenge? Why pursue _her? 'You need a teacher'._ That was why. Well, she would have a teacher. Luke Skywalker, if she could convince him.

She realized she had been pacing the small room, nerves on edge, gnawing at a jagged piece of fingernail. Suddenly, she felt exhausted, as if all the energy had drained out of her: the crash after an adrenaline high. She crawled into the bunk and snuggled under the blankets, feeling the soft mattress and smelling the fresh scent of the sheets and trying to process everything as she dropped into a sound sleep.

* * *

She woke up gasping for breath, clawing at her throat, sucking desperately for air. When her eyes opened, she was still in her bunk, thrashing and gasping, but she was also in a vast stone chamber, kneeling on a hard stone floor. A burning pain sliced along the side of her face and another throbbed at her side. A huge and terrifying holographic figure hovered high above; cold terror gripped her as she lifted her eyes to the figure; she quickly averted her eyes. No, not _her_ eyes. She was sure of that. She was seeing, feeling, what someone else was seeing and feeling. This must be another Force vision, she thought vaguely, although her capacity for thought was fading as her vision narrowed, black closing in on all sides. What _was_ this? The pressure on her throat lessened slightly, and she heard the figure speak.

"You let the scavenger escape, let her defeat you. In combat. You let her humiliate you; take the lightsaber that belonged to Darth Vader. Your birthright. How demeaning. Your grandfather would be ashamed, to see an insignificant piece of scum like that wielding his weapon."

She wanted to plunge a knife into her eardrums to make that voice cease. And – what? Scavenger. She was the scavenger. The voice wasn't speaking _to_ her, it was speaking _about_ her. And it must be speaking to…

Another voice, familiar, but strained. "She is…not…insignificant...she is strong. In the Force."

"Stronger than you?"

"No. NO." Then, something he didn't say, but thought: _Equal._

Her eyes widened. Equal? He considered her an equal?

"A failed apprentice is worse than no apprentice, boy. If you cannot even defeat an untrained girl, a nobody…can you think of any reason I should allow you to continue to draw breath?"

The pressure was back, worse now, and a piercing pain in her head, similar to what _he_ had done to her on Starkiller, but screamingly worse. Like shards of glass scraping her brain out of her skull.

 _What is this? What is happening?_ Her mind shrieked.

Then she felt it. Felt him. As if he was turning toward her, noticing she had entered a room for the first time.

 _What are **you** doing here?!_

 _I don't…where is here? What is happening? I can't…can't breathe, and my head is just…knives, tearing, pain._ Then a thought occurred to her _. **You're** doing this. Why are you doing this to me? Why won't you just leave me alone?_

 _Doing what? I'm not doing anything. I couldn't if I wanted to right now._ The last part felt like a whimper.

The voice again: "You're thinking of her now. Yes. See her face. Dwell on your defeat, your disgrace, your utter, pathetic weakness. How you have learned nothing from my training. Think about how that insolent desert scum stood over you in the snow and watched you bleed."

The shards of glass dug deeper into her mind, and it felt like fingers were digging into the side of her face, where the burning pain was. Oh, frack, it was where she had struck him with the lightsaber, and invisible fingers were digging into it, making it burn more. She felt weak and nauseated from the pain.

 _Please, stop,_ she begged. _Oh, please, just let me breathe. Just stop. I can't…I can't…_

Then she felt a sense of shock, of realization, and a shove, hard, violent, desperate, pushing her out.

The stone chamber faded, the pressure on her throat and the pain in her head were gone. She sucked in a breath, and when she breathed out she started coughing uncontrollably.

She sat up, shaking. She had been with him, in his mind, experiencing what he was experiencing – a wave of horror washed over her. If that had been real… she shuddered. She pushed away the compassion, the pity. He was a monster. He didn't deserve compassion.

But it was there, anyway. She couldn't help it. She had felt what he felt, and it was something she wouldn't wish on her worst enemy. So she didn't.

She didn't sleep the rest of the night, just sat hugging her knees to her chest, shaken and afraid. How had she seen that? Why? And he had seen? felt? her, too…how? _How?_

* * *

The scavenger was sitting in a control room, at a round table with the leaders of the Resistance. Ackbar, Nunb, Statura. His mother, looking tired and worn down. He averted his attention from her. The scavenger was feeling small and out of place. She had one hand on the droid, and she had scooted her chair as close to Chewbacca as she could. The Wookiee had placed an arm around her shoulders. He could feel the tickle of Wookiee fur, smell the warm leaves-in-sunshine smell that had once meant comfort

His side seemed to throb with more intensity.

They were planning a mission – to Skywalker. The map. He tried to look at the holoscreens, listen to the conversation, but apparently whatever _this_ was didn't work that way. Apparently it was more – sensory-based. He felt her running her fingers along the edge of the new vest she was wearing, appreciating the thick, sturdy material and the fine stitching and the overall high quality construction. Fingers playing with the seams, brushing against silky skin. He swallowed hard.

She was marveling that they had given these garments to her, for nothing.

She was running her hand over the pants now, over her thigh, thinking how nicely the pants fit; how someone had bothered to find out what size she needed. She had strong, lithe thighs. For a second, he had a disconcerting flash of what it would feel like to have them wrapped around him. He shook his head. Not what he was there for.

What was he there for?

Right. To figure out _what this was._

He had a theory, far-fetched thought it seemed: Force Bond. He had heard of them, but never experienced one, not with Luke when he was a padawan, thankfully not with his current master. There was something he vaguely recalled from when he was small, with his mother, but he had outgrown that. Usually, they took time and familiarity to create. Except sometimes, under duress, under life and death circumstances, when one was made to open to the Force, or to a powerful Force user. Words he had read with ever-increasing anxiety.

 _'Scavenger.'_ He thought.

She jumped in her seat, looked over her right shoulder, her left.

Okay. So she could definitely hear him if he wanted her to.

Chewbacca was asking her what was wrong, and she was telling him she had had a nightmare, scrubbing at her eyes with the heels of her hands.

 _Oh, yes. A nightmare indeed._

 _What?_ Her thought was sharp, angry.

Oh. And apparently sometimes if he didn't want her to. He retreated.

 _Hey!_

He paused. She was addressing him. _Yes?_

 _Umm, what is this? Is it real?_

 _I'm not entirely sure, but I think it is what's called a Force bond. And yes, it seems to be real._

 _Bond._ She absorbed that. _So last night was…_

 _No business of yours!_

 _But…_

He felt her concern, her infuriating compassion.

 _Foolish girl! I don't want your pity! Your sweet concern. My training is not something the likes of you would understand. Never speak of it again!_

Anger radiated from her now, anger and wounded pride and offense. She reached for the most hurtful thing she could think of. _You don't want my compassion? Then I regret showing you any yesterday. I should have killed you when I had the chance!_

He almost tasted the venom dripping from the words, the violent intent, so pure and raw.

 _Indeed you should have._ He let a soft chuckle drift toward her, then managed to withdraw from her fully.

He found himself remembering her mouth: twisted into a grimace, teeth bared in a snarl - soft and pink and slack with sleep. He wanted to run his tongue along those lips and taste that sweet poison. The light glowed in her, yes, but she hadn't been contaminated yet by the teachings of the Jedi, by all the rules; she owned her emotions; they flowed through her in a beautiful unadulterated stream of the Force, light and dark and all _her_. He wanted to immerse himself in that stream.

* * *

It had been a bad beginning. But it had led to something singular.

And it had all started with Darth Vader.

Of course, she knew who Darth Vader was. Even Jakku wasn't so remote that she was unaware of such a large presence in galactic events. But she knew an image on holovids; a name whispered in almost-supernatural fear by some of those hiding on Jakku; a figure from history, static and stilted and barely real. That wasn't what interested her.

What interested her was the person: Kylo Ren's obsession. Luke and Leia's unmentioned father. Jedi. Sith. Fallen. Redeemed. A case study in everything she didn't know. An accident report to analyze; to tease out the answers she needed; to identify the links in the chain that led him so deeply into the darkness, and to discover what had pulled him out.

Now she just had to get the story out of Luke, who was kind and good and glowingly light – but who was not, in her experience, talkative or forthcoming.

* * *

 **A/N**

I meant to get to having Luke tell her Anakin's story in this chapter, but the flashback sort of took over. And I wanted to post something; we're moving this week so I'm not sure when I'll get to update again.

To my lovely guest reviewer: Thank you so much for your review! I had already thought about having a flashback involving their first time together. So be patient and you'll get that. ;)

And thanks to everyone else who has read, followed, faved and reviewed! You make my day!


	11. Analysis

**Commemoration**

* * *

 _The Star Destroyer had been picked clean, and then picked over again. Rey herself had been through it three times since she started scavenging, each time finding less and less of value. But she still had hope. At thirteen, she was able to fit into spaces older, larger scavengers couldn't, her tiny hands prying loose components that, if she found enough of them, might bring her a quarter portion._

 _And even once there was nothing of trade value left, there was still plenty to salvage._

 _She had made her way through the hangar, crawling over the upended hulks of TIE fighters, until she found the pilot's lounge. This was what she was looking for; she hoped to find more data chips for her flight simulator. She had flown every ship on the ones she had so many times that they didn't present much challenge, even when she set them to create various in-flight emergency scenarios. The Star Destroyer had crashed upright, but in a steep dive, so she had to climb across the walls and slide down the sharply tilted floor, then she had to pry open or pick locks on drawers no one had felt were worth bothering with. The first five had netted her nothing but a few holos with nudy pictures – ten of those would bring an eighth portion, so she scooped them into her pouch. But the sixth drawer had what she was looking for – data chips labelled with the names of various types of ship, and one labelled 'accident reports'. She scooped all of those up, too, and put them in a different pouch – her 'mine' pouch._

 _Hours later, having traded what she could, she returned to her AT-AT with a single rehydratable muffin. She sat down to eat it in front of the computer she had rebuilt from scavenged parts and popped in each data chip. She was thrilled to have obtained three new types of ship, plus some new scenarios for types she could already fly. Finally, she popped in the accident report disc. It had obviously been used for training. It contained a series of terse crash narratives, describing each incident or accident, and pinpointing a cause, or causes, often with comments from pilots and instructors included._

 _She skimmed the first one as she broke off chunks of muffin and chewed._

 _'A_ _YV-545 light freighter_ _crashed shortly after takeoff from Mos Eisley Spaceport, Tatooine. All seven crewmembers—the captain, first officer, loadmaster, co-captain and first officer, and two mechanics—died, and the ship was destroyed from impact forces and postcrash fire._ _The freighter's cargo included five speeders secured onto pallets and shoring…vehicles could not be placed in unit load devices (ULDs) and restrained. During takeoff, the ship immediately climbed steeply then descended in a manner consistent with an aerodynamic stall… investigation determines that the probable cause of this accident was inadequate procedures for restraining special cargo loads, the loadmaster's improper restraint of the cargo, which moved aft and damaged hydraulic systems and horizontal stabilizer drive components, and pilot error in not verifying that the load was secure before takeoff.'_

 _She found herself oddly fascinated. She could picture the load shifting, slamming into the control mechanisms; could feel the pilot's panic as the ship's nose continued to pitch up despite his efforts to break the stall, could feel the sharp drop and inevitable spin as the ship returned to the sandy surface of Tatooine. She read some more, learning new terms like 'accident chain' (most accidents didn't have one single cause, but were caused by a series of mistakes and errors that, individually, might not cause a crash, but linked together, did) and 'risk assessment' -_ _analyzing potential losses using a combination of known information, knowledge about the underlying process, and judgment about the information that is not known or well understood_ _. For the next several months, she read an accident report every night before crawling into her pile of blankets and sleeping. She considered them her bedtime stories._

* * *

"Why not use a real blaster?" Rey asked, deflecting zaps from the training remote.

Luke stumbled over his words a bit. "Well, umm, it...I'd rather not shoot at you?"

 _Did you just ask Luke to shoot at you with a blaster?_ The voice in her head sounded amused.

"Set to stun," she said, spinning easily to block another zap. The training remote was set on expert level, and she was not having the least trouble. "Because this. Is. Too. Easy." She said, spinning and evading as she spoke.

Luke looked thoughtful. "Even stun hurts a lot more than that." He nodded at the remote. He was giving her that quizzical, uncertain, struggling look again.

 _Sheesh. I thought it was a good idea._

 _It is. But he won't do it._

 _How do you know?_

 _Because I asked him the same thing…once._

 _Oh._

Oops.

"That's the point," she huffed. "Plus, there's the person factor. It's one thing to be brave against a remote. Another thing entirely to look someone in the eye as they try to shoot you."

To her surprise, Luke chuckled a little. "You sound like Han."

She felt a tensing over the bond, a wave of guilt so bleak and dark it almost engulfed her, then Kylo's presence faded.

"I do?" She asked, voice trembling a bit.

"Yeah. When I was first training, he said something like that. Good against remotes is one thing, good against the living is another."

Rey and Luke were both silent for a few minutes, the mood suddenly somber. Finally, Rey said, "Well, I think he had a point."

"Maybe. But I'm still not going to shoot at you."

She exhaled. "Okay. Fine." She sensed an opening. "If you won't shoot at me, will you, umm...can we talk about some things?"

He looked at her with that concerned look he often had. "Of course. Let's go inside and I'll make some tea. It's starting to rain, anyway."

It was, big, fat drops splashing on her face and arms.

They hurried to Luke's room, which was in the same building as Leia's. It was smaller, and messier, but also cozier. He pulled out a chair, scooping a stack of clutter off of it. Artoo rolled into the room, beeped a greeting to Luke and then an even more enthusiastic one to Rey. Ever since BB-8 told him about the way Rey had rescued him, the astromech had taken a strong liking to her. She greeted him, then sat in the chair Luke had offered.

"So, what do you want to talk about?" He asked, as he sprinkled roots and herbs into cups and put water on to boil.

She looked down, fiddling with Artoo's antenna, carefully and reluctantly closing off the bond. "Umm. Well. So, you...you were like me, right? I mean, you didn't know about having the Force, about who you were, about any of this until you were…about my age?"

Luke carried the tea to the table and nodded. "Yup. As far as I knew, I was just a boring farm boy looking for adventure."

She stirred some sweet nectar into her tea and smiled. "Right. So, I guess, that's what I'm...it's sort of a lot to take in, you know?"

Luke nodded. "Of course it is."

"And you found out…other things. About your…family. Your father."

He nodded. "Obi-Wan Kenobi – he was my first teacher, and my father's before me. He told me – not much, in the beginning. I know a lot more now. Force Ghosts." He smiled. "But it sure would have helped to know then. He didn't think I could handle it, but I…"

"Would rather have known, no matter how bad it was?" She met his eyes and he nodded. She felt like that on this point they would understand each other. Luke was staring at her, that intense stare she remembered from the island, the I-don't-want-to-deal-with-this look. She stumbled ahead, hoping he wouldn't cut her off. "I was wondering, I mean, I'd like to know – what happened to him? Your father? How…?"

Luke let out a long sigh, a sigh that sounded almost relieved. He looked down, stirred his tea. He was silent for a long time, eyes distant. She thought he was going to do that thing he did, when he just sort of let the silence go on so long you forgot what you had asked. But then he sat the spoon down carefully and met her eyes. "The first time I saw my father was when I watched him kill Obi-Wan, the man who told me about the Force and started teaching me to use it. The second time, he was chasing me in a TIE fighter. The third time, he cut off my hand. And the fourth time, he saved my life." Luke's eyes had clouded, but now they were clear and bright. "I like to think of him as Anakin Skywalker," he said, "and I don't mind telling you about him."

She smiled, tucking one leg under the other and settling more comfortably in the chair. Artoo scooted closer, to listen or show support or both.

Luke told her a story of a little slave boy on a sandy planet, similar to Jakku, and Qui-Gon Jinn, the Jedi who found him, realized his potential and power, and believed he was to be the one to bring balance to the Force. He told of the Jedi Council's refusal to train the boy, Qui-Gon's insistence on doing so anyway, and his deathbed request that Obi-Wan, his padawan, continue training the child.

He told her about Padme Amidala, the beautiful young Queen of Naboo, and how the little boy adored her from the moment he saw her, of his meeting her again as a young man, hopelessly enamored with her, of how she stood by him when his mother died - and when he let rage overtake him and slaughtered the sand people responsible.

He told her how Anakin tried to deny his love for Padme, to stay true to the Jedi way of non-attachment, and of how he couldn't. Of how that drove a wedge between Anakin and Obi-Wan, between Anakin and all the Jedi, and how that was the crack that let the darkness in.

She swallowed hard, stared at her tea, picked at a string on her arm wrap. Anything except look Luke in the eye right then. _That can't be right. That_ _ **can'**_ _t be_ _ **right**_ _. Love is good._

He told her about their secret marriage, hidden from the Jedi Council for years.

 _Secret. Right. It wasn't the love, it was the lying. It was the lying that…_

 _Oh. Oh no._

Rey's tea grew cold as she listened, brow furrowing.

He told her of Padme's unexpected pregnancy, of Anakin's premonitions that Padme would die in childbirth.

She ran a hand over the small, hard lump that was the birth control implant. _Okay. One good decision._

Of his desperate, obsessive desire to save his love.

 _Save his love._ Rey's mouth was dry, but when she tried to sip her tea, it stuck in the back of her throat. _But saving someone you love is good. How could that have lead him to the Dark side?_

Luke continued, telling her of Chancellor Palpatine, the secret Sith Lord who would become the Emperor, who used Anakin's love for Padme, and his fear and dread and distrust of the other Jedi, to lure him to the Dark side.

Of how Palpatine tricked him, making him believe he would teach him how to save Padme, how to bring her back, even if she died. He told her about Order 66, when almost every Jedi was wiped out; he told her, voice breaking, about Force Ghost Obi-Wan telling him about watching the security recording of Anakin killing the younglings in the temple; of how they were so small, so helpless.

A tear rolled down Luke's cheek, and a matching one down Rey's as a whole series of events clicked into place. This, this was a breakthrough. Oh, things made so much more sense now. _Oh, Ben._ That was why…she wasn't sure if his obsession with his grandfather came before or after Snoke's influence, if it had been real or planted in his mind; she doubted he even knew, but as Luke told the story of Anakin and the younglings, she saw another story in his eyes – _his_ Jedi academy, a pale reflection of the original on Coruscant, an attempt to bring back something good and true, and his nephew…

Her eyes narrowed. Palpatine. Snoke. Always some menacing figure, hovering, waiting to pounce. Another link clicked into place.

 _He_ had made Ben do it; tricked him; manipulated him into thinking that was the first step toward 'finishing what his grandfather started'. And he had just been a boy himself. Anger surged through her, fierce and protective. She would save him; she would help him break free; she _would_.

But…

That was what Anakin had wanted. To save his love. She dug her nails into her palms. _No. Saving someone is good. What I want to do is_ _ **good**_ _._

Luke sipped his tea, seemed to visibly pull himself together. "I don't know a lot about what happened between that time and when I first knew him, except that he grew incredibly powerful as Darth Vader under the influence of the Emperor. Obi-Wan found people to raise me and Leia, hid us from our father, and went into exile. He didn't think there was any hope for him; any light left. But I did. And I was right. He sacrificed himself to save me, and in doing so, he not only redeemed himself, he managed to rid the galaxy of the reign of the Emperor. To me, in the end, he was a hero." Luke flexed his mechanical hand. "Despite everything, he died a hero."

 _Yes. He saved Luke. Because he loved him. And that was good. That redeemed him, brought him back to the light._

Rey met his eyes, her tears matching his. "Thank you," she said, voice small, "for telling me all this."

Luke reached across the table, patted her hand, sighed. "Of course, Leia would disagree."

"Oh?" Rey asked, voice soft.

Luke nodded. "He saved me. He tortured her – twice. And Han."

Rey sucked in a sharp breath. "His own daughter?"

"He didn't know she was his daughter – not that that excuses it – but yes. And I don't think she'll ever completely forgive him for everything he's done to her." Rey knew he didn't just mean the torture.

Walking back to her room, Rey was lost in thought. She wanted to talk to Leia, but was afraid to. She needed to understand how Anakin's attempt to save Padme had gone so horribly wrong, but his saving Luke had gone right; his intentions were the same, the emotion was the same – or at least similar. What was the difference?

She had to look at it critically, analyze it.

What were the links in the accident chain?

Love. Distrust. Dishonesty. Fear. Manipulation.

She continued walking the corridors, chewing a nail, letting the links fall into place.

She remembered reading those accident reports, a lonely thirteen year old girl with her morbid bedtime stories.

 _And what do you do when you're already three or four links into the accident chain? When you can see the crash unfold before your eyes, hear the metal screech, feel the flames bloom around you? You fly it to the ground; accept the inevitable property damage, try to avoid casualties, but never give up. Never let go._

* * *

 **A/N**

After a grueling week of moving and having one thing after another go wrong, I'm finally back, and my characters are finally talking to me again. They didn't like being ignored, but they seem to have forgiven me. They're even planning some spicy, slightly dark smut next chapter. ;)

This chapter should probably sit for another day for polishing, but I just want to get the story updated. I might go back and give it another edit tomorrow, so please forgive any errors tonight. (Edited to fix some typos now!)

The accident report in the beginning is a modified and fictionalized version of a real NTSB report (AAR-15-01).

Thanks to everyone who has read, followed, faved and reviewed! I've been away for 8 days, so I'm starving for reviews. :)


	12. Inevitable

**Commemoration**

 **A/N**

 _So, you're probably thinking, this story has gone way too long without some action of the naked sort, right? Well, the waiting is over._

* * *

Luke was walking across the field where he and Rey usually trained with lightsabers, his hands behind his back, a small, almost mischievous smile on his lips.

Rey tilted her head. She had never seen Luke look like that.

"Master Luke," she said, curious but willing to wait for him to reveal whatever had actually brought a smile to his face.

He brought his hands out from behind his back, revealing not one but two training remotes. "A compromise. I thought two of these at a time might present a teeny bit of a challenge. And," he turned the remotes around, revealing the simple droid faces the remotes now had, "you can even look them in the eye."

The droids greeted Rey in binary beeps that translated as, 'Hello Miss Rey. Are you ready for training?'

A wide grin spread across Rey's face, and a little peal of laughter escaped her lips. "Master Luke! They're brilliant." She felt more of a connection with Luke than she ever had. He was changing, opening himself up to the world again, and she saw a glimmer of that hopeful, adventurous farmboy he had once been.

She was having a wonderful time whacking at the droids, jumping from the occasional zap, and feeling like she was actually _improving,_ when the emergency siren went off. Someone, somewhere, had called the resistance for help. She and Luke ran toward the flight line.

* * *

Drina Taye's opulent office suite occupied the entire top floor of the Second Bank of Coruscant. It looked more like a palace reception room than an office, with graceful columns and gleaming stone floors and priceless works of art on the walls. Drina felt no qualms about this. As president of the bank, this was expected. As the most successful president the bank had ever had, it was her due.

Drina's parents had been senators, but Drina had never been interested in a life of public service. Drina had a genius for accumulating credits, for her employer and herself. She enjoyed it; she enjoyed seeing the neat lines of numbers growing on the datapad ledger; she enjoyed the luxurious lifestyle those numbers provided. She had a penthouse on Coruscant, a mansion in the Naboo lake country, a Pinnacle-class luxury yacht. But Drina didn't find her true calling in life until the day after the Hosnian system – and her earnest, well-meaning, democracy-loving parents – had been destroyed.

Now the yacht smuggled weapons for the Resistance and the mansion served as a safe house for those fleeing the First Order. But Drina's most valuable contribution to the Resistance – the one that was the reason she had a personal comlink directly to their control room – was her financial genius. Since Drina had dedicated herself to helping the Resistance bring down the First Order at any cost, well, _cost_ had stopped being an issue.

Drina contributed a sizable chunk of her own personal fortune, but she also recruited donors - carefully hand-picked, personally vetted, thoroughly investigated - from the ranks of her largest depositors. She was always careful, so careful, to cover her tracks, to hide the sources of funding through four and five and six dummy accounts, set up meticulously so as to avoid suspicion, routed through off-world banks run by Hutts and worse. But somehow- she didn't know how – the First Order had become aware of her identity, and now she was crouched in her safe room, the comlink in her hand, hoping the newest-model X-Wings she had recently funded would get here quickly enough to save her.

* * *

No one had expected the banker's personal security detail to be as effective as they were. Hux had only sent one squadron of Stormtroopers to abduct the woman. A swift, simple operation, he had called it, "and then you can do that thing you do and find those secret accounts".

Kylo Ren gritted his teeth. _Idiot._ The swift, simple operation had been anything but. The banker's personal security detail might have looked like doughy middle-aged night guards, but they were in fact highly trained commandos. The Resistance knew what a valuable asset the banker was.

As did Hux. And that's why Kylo Ren was now on his way down to Coruscant in his personal shuttle, with two more transports of Stormtroopers behind him. "The banker must be taken alive; the Supreme Leader wants every account funding the Resistance found and emptied," Hux had told him, "but do as you will with the guards."

The shuttle landed on the pad on top of the bank building, wings folding in with menacing grace. Down the lift and along the hallways he stomped, filled with a sense of dread and inevitability. He sensed the banker's fear, feeding on it, letting it lead him to her. The darkness in him reached out, tasting the emotion, gaining power from it. He felt it filling his veins, his flesh, his pores. He needed it, in order to do what had to be done. The Dark side blocked out any guilt, any remorse, but he got no joy from this. The Dark energy, though, gave him a certain rush, a blissful disconnect from everything. He let it flow through him, let it deaden the weaker emotions that haunted him. They would come later; try as he might, he could never hold on to that feeling of dark elation. But while it lasted, oh, the feeling, the power, the _control_

The guards put up a decent fight, their aim with their blasters accurate – which made it even easier for him to stop and deflect the energy bolts, turn them back toward their wielders. More fear, as they realized too late that they needed to duck. A surge of dark energy swept through him, and he flung three more guards against a wall, hard enough to break bones. Another group of guards rounded a corner. He ignited his lightsaber, red crackling flame giving the ordinary hallway a lurid glow, and advanced towards them.

Guards incapacitated, he found the entrance to the panic room, concealed by a large painting. He unbolted the numerous locks and swept the triple-thick durasteel door open with a few waves of his hand. The banker was crouched behind a table, comlink still clutched in her fingers. Her steel gray hair had escaped its usual neat coil, and a few pieces were straggling around her face. A fine sheen of sweat coated her warm brown skin. She had removed her jacket; the armpits of her blouse were dark with fear-induced perspiration. He held out a hand, and the banker went limp, the comlink rolling out of her hand as her fingers unclenched. He turned to Captain Phasma, forgotten behind him until that moment, and said, "Collect the prisoner and take her to Hux." Then he turned and strode away.

* * *

The Resistance arrived only a few seconds too late, in time to see Phasma directing two Stormtroopers to load Drina onto a transport and take off.

Several X-Wings pursued. Rey, however, landed on the rooftop pad, climbed out of the fighter, and waited, lightsaber in hand, in front of a familiar black shuttle.

When he stepped out of the lift, wind whipping his robes back, mask firmly in place, her breath hitched a little. This was not the man who had been in her bed a few days ago. This was the monster in the mask. She could feel, almost taste, the darkness swirling in and around him.

"You're too late," was all he said, voice clipped and harsh through the mask. The bond was closed off, her only communication with him through that _thing_. It was infuriating.

"We'll catch them. X-Wings are faster than transports," she replied, wary but defiant.

He glanced at her fighter. "Shouldn't you join them, then?"

"I was sent to deal with things here."

"'Deal with things'. You mean kill me?"

Her eyes narrowed. "Capture, preferably."

"Ah, yes. The Resistance would like to fight a war without any casualties. That's not only impossible but misguided. Only through strength is there power, and only through power, victory. The banker's personal guards felt the truth of this, of my power." His tone was bitter.

Rey took a step closer. This was Kylo Ren at his darkest. She hadn't had him like this in a while.

He leaned forward, breathed her in. "No fear." He said.

She smirked, raised her light saber. "No."

She heard his sharp intake of breath, recognized even through the mask that he was appreciating her. She felt the darkness recede, almost imperceptibly. She took a step forward. He raised his lightsaber as well, twirling it languidly, his body language casual, almost amused.

She crouched, ready for the attack, or so she thought. He was on her in an instant, driving her back with a swift flurry of swipes, until she bumped into something hard and unyielding. He had her backed against the hull of his shuttle, his red blade hissing against hers, pressing toward her face. She felt the smooth skin of the ship against her back, heard his modulated breath in her ear, felt the waves of dark power roiling around him.

The light in her wanted to save him, to pull him back, to talk him off the ledge that was this darkness. The part of her that she was less willing to acknowledge, the part that understood the darkness, wanted to taste it, to let it seep into her and possess her; wanted to let him possess her, now, like this, even though she knew how deliciously wrong that was. A painful throbbing had started between her legs that she couldn't ignore.

She stepped closer, pressing her lower body against his, warmth to warmth.

 _Rey._ His voice over the bond was strained. _You may not want to do this now. The darkness -I cannot guarantee that I'll be able to maintain control._

She stood her ground, leaning into the crossed sabers, eyes locked on the slits in the mask. _Then don't._

 _But-_

 _Lose control with me._

He groaned, the sound strange and inhuman through the voice modulator, and she felt him harden against her. _You don't understand. What I just did…_

 _You didn't kill them. You could have, but you didn't._

 _I hurt them. I captured the banker. They're waiting for me to go back, torture her._

A realization washed over her. _You don't want to._

 _No._

 _Then you should stay here long enough for us to rescue her._

She heard him gulp. _The darkness is strong in me now._

 _I know. I can feel it. I want to feel it._ She sent him the visual from before, the two of them in a control room, on a ship, both in black robes, his hands sliding down her shoulders and arms, moving in front of her, caressing her _right there_. She let out a little moan as she almost felt his fingers rubbing over her clit through the material.

His eyes widened, and he looked at her deeply. _You're sure you want to do this now?_

 _Yes. Oh, yes._

He hesitated. Then, in a single swift movement, he deactivated his lightsaber, dodged hers as she fell toward him, and swept her up into his arms, carrying her into the shuttle and raising the ramp.

His hands were everywhere, ripping at her clothes, pulling her hair. He flung the mask and gloves and cape aside and his lips attacked hers, his kiss ravenous, as if he was trying to consume her.

She fumbled with his clothes, pushing them away, but she wasn't fast enough. He pushed her hands away and unzipped his trousers, letting them drop to his ankles, revealing his hardness. Oh, Force he was so hard, she thought, hard and throbbing and desperate. She licked her hand and wrapped it around his cock, stroking up and down. _Faster_ , he demanded. _Harder_. She complied, while he moved from kissing her mouth to her neck, biting down on the sensitive spot where her neck curved into her shoulder. She cried out, in pleasurable pain, and he bit down harder. His hand found her breast and squeezed, and then his tongue was swirling around it, teeth catching the nipple, biting just enough that it sent hot pulses down through her stomach that became powerful jolts between her legs.

He pushed her to her knees and pushed himself into her mouth, pulling her hair to angle her mouth just right and sliding his cock in and out with a steady rhythm. There was nothing slow or gentle in this, no hint of Ben Solo and his soft, sighing kisses here. Kylo Ren was fully present, a little terrifying, and making her crazy with want.

His smooth, hard cock felt good in her mouth, but she was beginning to feel a bit desperate and in need of release herself. _Don't worry. I'm going to fuck you soon, and thoroughly._

She moaned around his cock and felt him shudder and pull back to avoid coming.

He dropped to his knees, too, spinning her so he was behind her, pushing her knees apart with his. He wrapped an arm around her waist to hold her upright, and reached up with his other hand, turning her head so her mouth was accessible, fingers gripping her jaw, biting her ear before moving on to her mouth, pressing her lips open with his, his tongue insistent against hers. His hand trailed down her throat, fingers curving around her neck, just a bare amount of pressure, as his mouth moved down, kissing her pulse points, sucking hard. She whimpered.

 _Tell me what you want._ His thoughts were as insistent as his hands.

 _You._

 _Look at me._

She did. His eyes were darker than usual, almost solid black, the pupils wide, like black holes trying to suck her in. She let them, falling into those dark depths, clutching at his hair, his arm, anything to hold on to.

 _Say it._

 _I want you. Now. Like this. Take me. Possess me._

He groaned, but it ended in a whimper.

He grabbed his cock, slid it between her legs, rubbed it over her. She felt tremors as he rubbed back and forth, spreading her wetness, sliding back and forth, making her wetter and wetter. _Now. Please._ She felt like she was nothing but blazing, aching need that only he could fill. And he did, bending her forward just a bit so her hips tilted back, but keeping them both upright on their knees and thrusting into her with a swift, sure motion. She gasped as she felt the full length of him stretching her, filling her, replacing that aching emptiness. His other hand slid down her stomach and he started rubbing it over her clit, hard and fast, in rhythm with his thrusts. She was so close, she was on fire, she was burning, she was exploding like a star gone supernova. He pushed her forward, her hands catching against the floor, and he was pounding against her even harder now, his breath hot and ragged against the back of her neck, a hand moving up to grip her shoulder. His thoughts were flashing through her mind: _More. Closer. Harder. Mine. Rey. My Rey. You're mine. Say you're mine._

 _I'm yours. Completely. And you're mine_.

She tensed her muscles around his cock and bucked her hips back against him, and he gasped, grunted, his hand digging into her shoulder, bruising it.

"I need to see you," he panted, leaning over her and turning her head against his chest so their faces were touching, their eyes locked.

She shifted slightly, and the change in angle did something to her; she saw stars, her eyes rolling back as bright flashes of light flickered across her field of vision. He saw – felt it, too, and it pushed him over the edge; she felt him explode, felt the hot liquid inside of her, and he took her over the edge with him, His face contorted with pleasure, and he groaned and gasped as she cried out, his name and then a wordless sound that came from deep inside her. She was coming again, only this time it was even more intense, both of them pulsing with pleasure that moved back and forth between them, flickering blue light dancing over his skin, over hers; it was different, it was…

 _I love you. Iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou._ She said it into his mind as each wave of pleasure radiated out from her center, and she felt him shudder, shake, and drive into her with a final thrust that he hadn't expected.

They collapsed in a heap on his cape on the floor of the shuttle. She rolled over to face him, pulling the thick black fabric over them. He held his hand millimeters from hers, little sparks leaping between their fingers, growing and glowing as their hands parted, sparking as they moved closer, sizzling as they touched.

 _You...you love me?_

 _Yes._ She hadn't meant to tell him, but she wouldn't deny it, because it was true. She hesitated, her mind hovering, waiting.

She felt something shift in him, and when she looked into his eyes, they were somewhere between deep black and soft brown, and she saw him. All of him. Kylo Ren. Ben Solo. Both. One. And she loved him. All of him,

 _Oh, Rey. My Rey. My love Yes. I feel it too. I love you. I have since that first day in the forest._

She smiled, fluttered her lashes down, her face warm and aglow. He loved her, too. She could feel it, fierce and true and...

"Strong. The opposite of hate is strong," he whispered, as they flicked the Force lightning back and forth.

* * *

Drina Taye struggled against her restraints as two Stormtroopers entered the interrogation cell. Terror coursed through her, her blood running like ice. She had heard of the torture techniques of the First Order. The only question was exactly how it would go. Would they simply send _him_ in to ransack her mind, or would they feel the need to soften her up with pain and drugs first? She knew they would stop at nothing to find every account, every donor, and she would resist, she would for as long as she could, but she was an accountant. A high tolerance for pain had never been an important trait in her career. And she knew in the end it would be for nothing. She tensed as the Stormtroopers approached; she started to hyperventilate; her body started shaking uncontrollably. But, to her surprise, they both removed their helmets and grinned, and then one of them spoke. "I'm Finn, and this is Poe, and this is a rescue."

Drina let out a long, shaky, relieved breath, and smiled back. "Thank the Force!"

* * *

 **A/N**

So, hope you're as satisfied as they are. Oh, wait, I doubt that's possible. ;) Hope you're at least somewhat satisfied with this chapter. I was going to work on my other story some, but this just happened, and I stayed up way too late last night working on it because I had to get it out of my system.

*Edited a bit to add to the end because I wasn't quite happy with it.

Thanks to all who are reading, following, faving and reviewing. Nothing makes me smile more than seeing a review pop up; it's such a lift, and can make a lousy day so much better!


	13. Interlude

**Commemoration**

* * *

 **A/N**

A super-short update, because I simply wasn't happy with the way I ended the last chapter. Well, I was, sort of, with the 'I love you's but I felt like it needed more.

* * *

They were still lying on the floor of the shuttle, wrapped in his cloak. They knew it had to end; they both needed to report back to superiors.

He shifted, placed a hand on her face, leaned in and kissed her, long and lingering and full of longing. When he pulled away, their eyes held, each unwilling to break the connection.

"Always parting," he whispered, voice soft and low.

"I know," she whispered back. He moved to get up, but she pushed him back down and rolled on top of him, placing a hand on each side of his face. "Uh-uh. You're not going anywhere. I've captured you." She smiled; her voice was light and teasing.

"Is that so?" He asked, arms wrapping around her waist, roaming over her back.

"Mmmm-hmmm. You're my prisoner now." She leaned in, letting her hair tickle his face.

"But you're locked inside _my_ personal shuttle. Seems more like _you're_ **_my_** prisoner." He raised his head, caught her lips in a kiss.

She straddled him. "But I have the high ground," she teased.

He moaned into her neck as she planted hot kisses along the line of his scar. There might be time for one more go, she thought, arousal creating a hot wetness between her legs as she rubbed against him, feeling him getting hard again. He was obviously willing and able, and they could be quick…

A screeching from the console interrupted them.

"I have to get that," he sighed, and she rolled off with a sigh.

She watched as he listened to a shrill, obviously agitated voice on the other end. By the time he signed off, she had most of her clothes back on.

She chuckled at the disappointed expression on his face. "What? I heard enough of that to know you have to leave, and quickly."

He nodded heavily. "Yes." Then, almost a smile. "Seems Hux and Phasma have lost something."

Her lips twitched. "Is that so?"

"Something very important."

"Indeed?"

He nodded.

She grinned. "And this time, you can't possibly be blamed."

He paused. "You knew…you planned…"

She shrugged. "You knew they were trying to rescue her. I _told_ you, and you _saw_ the X-Wings." She put a hand on his still-bare chest. "And I hate to see you…" she swallowed hard… "chastised. I…I can't bear it."

He stared at her, eyes dark and deep. Took a long breath in, pulled her against his chest. "Rey." He held her fiercely. "I don't…I can't…" _Thank you._

She looked up at him, her eyes searching his. "You're welcome," she whispered, turning and snatching her vest off the floor. She held up the ruined garment and smirked. "You know, you really do have to stop ripping my clothes off me. The Resistance might get suspicious if I have to requisition a new uniform after every mission."

He leaned over her, lips close to her ear. "Never," he whispered, and it sent a shiver right through the very core of her being.

She turned to go, and he lowered the ramp.

As she was walking away, he said, "You have, you know."

"What?" She asked, confused.

"Captured me. Body, mind, soul. I'm yours."

It was a good thing no one was on the rooftop landing pad of the Second Bank of Coruscant, because they would have seen the Resistance's new hope run up the ramp, tackle the First Order's enforcer, push him against the wall and kiss him, soundly and fiercely.

* * *

 **A/N**

I just wanted a more thorough ending to the last chapter, so here's this. Short and sweet, and Hux interrupted the smut, but I just wanted something more here. :)

As always, reviews are so thoroughly and completely appreciated; they're like little bundles of love. :) And more love means more smut, so... ;)


	14. Anticipation

**Commemoration**

* * *

She was reading again, some long, dry historical text from Luke's library, and he wondered, not for the first time, what his uncle was playing at. She should be training with a light saber, learning new Force abilities, learning to _counteract_ Force abilities. Not staying awake until all hours reading about the past.

He frowned.

Not that history wasn't important, of course it was, but this just didn't seem like the most urgent of issues right now. He didn't usually pay attention to what she was reading; he could tune it out. The bond wasn't like a comlink that was always open. It was more like a water faucet, always there, but able to be turned off or on, opened wide or slowed to a trickle, on both ends. Of course, it was a bit of a leaky faucet, letting some things come through whether they wanted them to or not: intense emotions, pain, pleasure.

But tonight he was bored, pacing the decks of the _Finalizer_ , and she was so warm and cozy, snuggled under her blankets – he remembered those blankets, what they had done under those blankets, and it made his trousers tighten. Her mind was open, welcoming, and he found himself in her room. It was dim, lit only by the soft blue glow of the datapad, and he knew her skin would be warm and her hair would smell like flowers and sunlight, and he let himself nestle in with her, and he listened…and was surprised to realize that he knew the passage she was reading by heart. It was about the Battle of Endor. It was about his grandfather. Of course, the version she had was Luke's version; the one he had read as a child. The Empire's version, the one the First Order claimed as truth, was somewhat different. She was almost to the end, reading about his funeral on Endor and…crying? She was crying for his grandfather. His Rey was weeping, touched by the story of the man he had tried so hard to emulate; whose legacy he wanted desperately to live up to. That she would weep for him…it made him feel like she understood something fundamental that no one else did.

She put the datapad away and started getting ready for sleep, thoughts flitting through her mind, vague and unconnected and not really making sense. Something about accident chains and contributing factors and unavoidable conditions and pilot error. Flying stuff. She was tired, and her mind was drifting, as happened just before sleep. He turned his steps toward his quarters, his pace quickening.

They almost always told each other good night. It was a bit of galactic good luck that D'Qar's solar cycle was not far off from the Coruscant Standard Time that the First Order used on all their Star Destroyers. So, almost every night, unless he was…unavailable…when she pulled on her soft night clothes and curled into a little ball under her blankets, when he had taken off all the paraphernalia of his persona and was just a man in a pair of shorts stretched out on his side under a sheet, he reached out to her. He imagined himself lying behind her, his long, lean body pressed against her smaller, softer, but still strong, one. He could feel her warmth seeping into his skin, smell her warm, sunny scent, feel her hair tickle his mouth as he leaned in and whispered, soft and low, _Goodnight_ and felt her press against him. He knew what his voice did to her, knew he could make her wet and wanting with just words, a fact that made him swell with pride. He wanted her to go to sleep every night with his voice in her ear, wanting him, aching for him as he ached for her.

 _Goodnight_ , she whispered back, her voice doing things to him, too.

Some nights – many nights – they visited one another in their dreams. He hoped this would be one of those nights. It couldn't compare with actually being together, with real lips and hands and flesh, but even an illusion of that bliss was delicious.

* * *

It had started not long after she had figured out what the bond was. She had been on Ahch'to, she had just discovered a holocron in Luke's collection that explained, in infuriating detail, exactly what a Force Bond was and all that it entailed, and she was fuming.

 _"Kylo Ren!"_

Her voice was loud and demanding in his head. She was standing on a cliff overlooking the ocean, on the watery planet where she was training with his uncle. The wind was whipping her hair out of the three loops she kept it in, the salt spray was making her face glisten, and she was shimmering with rage.

He had never seen anything so beautiful.

 _You called?_

 _Forever?_ Her voice was icy.

 _What?_

 _This,_ she hissed. _This thing between us. It lasts_ _ **forever**_ _?_

 _Umm, yes, it seems so_. He had only discovered that recently himself.

 _Gah! What have you done?_

 _I told you, I didn't do it!_

 _And if you die, it might kill me?_

 _Again, it seems so._

 _Well, that's just brilliant, isn't it? Since our main purpose in life now is to kill one another._

He frowned. _You think that's…_

 _Well, isn't it?_

 _Not necessarily._

She growled, actually growled, into his mind, and he had to clench his fists and breathe deeply to steady himself. She was perfect. He had to have her, had to convince her that this was a sign, a sign that she should join him.

 ** _This_** _is a mistake_ , she hissed, turning and picking her way down the stone steps. _It's a mistake and I'm going to tell Luke and he's going to fix it._

Mistake? Did she know that she was ripping him apart by saying that? It was no mistake. It was meant to be. They were meant to be.

 _Rey._ It was the first time he had said her name. She stopped.

 _What?_

 _We could just try not to kill one another, you know._

She glared across space and time. _I'm not sure I can manage that,_ she snarled.

He wanted her more than he had ever wanted anything.

* * *

She was talking to his uncle, and it enraged him. _He_ should be the one training her; he could help her become who she was meant to be, show her all the things she could do with the Force. Because, oh, she was powerful. He had felt it. With the right training, the things she could do. The things he could show her, teach her…she could be unstoppable. And he wanted to show her those things. He wanted to show her a great many things.

But she had chosen his uncle, and he knew exactly what his training entailed. Caution, restraint, non-attachment; a tamping down of emotion that limited the Force. He didn't want to see her limited; her potential was limitless, and he wanted to see it, wanted to see her embrace it and become what she was destined to become. Wanted to see her again as he had glimpsed her on Starkiller, a blazing warrior queen, lightsaber slashing with quick, furious swipes, eyes flashing fire…only this time, fighting _with_ him, side by side or back to back, taking on and obliterating every challenge.

She was talking to his uncle, and she sounded young and small and scared. "What if…what if this is a mistake?"

Luke frowned. "What? Training?"

She shook her head violently. "No. All of it. Me, having the Force…what if it's all just a big mistake. What if I'm not supposed to…to do this. I'm just a scavenger, a nobody. What if I'm not the right person…maybe the Force was looking for someone else, maybe Finn or…or you or…"

She wasn't really questioning her Force abilities, he knew. She was talking about the bond. She really was going to tell Luke, and he would tell her there was no way, really, to sever it, but he would teach her to block it, to block _him_ , and that felt like being sentenced to exile on Hoth.

"Rey." Luke's voice was quiet; his eyes were intense, and he took a long time to speak, putting the words together carefully, painfully. "I've spent the last fifteen years alone here, with my doubts. And I have many. But I don't doubt the Force. People make mistakes; they're blind to things that should be obvious, they refuse to adapt; they mis-use their abilities, they refuse to consider any perspective except their own. I'm guilty of all those things and more. But I blame myself. I made mistakes, and I'll regret them for the rest of my life, and probably on into the spirit world, but I don't blame the Force. I trust it, even now, even after everything that went wrong. That's why, when you came here, reluctant as I was, afraid as I still am, I'll do my best to train you. Because the Force sent you here. And the Force doesn't make mistakes."

Hearing his uncle speak like that, it hurt, like an old wound reopening, but it also soothed a bit, to have Luke share in the self-loathing.

Rey was quiet, thoughtful, considering. She picked at a thread on her sleeve. He felt her, on the edge of telling Luke about the bond, of asking him how to end it, but she didn't.

"Are you sure?" She asked, voice tremulous.

Luke nodded, adamant. "Absolutely."

Rey bit her lip; he could feel her sharp little teeth digging into the soft flesh. Finally, she nodded, said in a soft, little girl voice, "Okay."

He let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. She hadn't told. She hadn't asked Luke to sever the bond or teach her to block it. She hadn't exiled him.

That night, as she drifted to sleep, he had dared to reach out to her. _Rey?_

He felt her sigh _. Yes?_

 _You didn't tell him._

 _No._

 _Why?_

 _Because of what he said. The Force doesn't make mistakes._

 _So…_

 _So I believe that. I don't understand…this…but I'll…wait and see._ Her tone changed, then, from soft and uncertain to fierce. _But don't think this means I'm going to talk to you. Or listen to you. Or train with you. Or …or do anything else with you!_

He felt a warmth spread over his cheeks, neck and chest, and realized he was feeling her blush _._

 _Anything_ _ **else**_ _?_

 ** _Definitely_** _not!_

He smirked. _So you've thought about it?_

She growled _._

 _Rey?_

 _What now?_

 _Goodnight._

 _That's all?_

 _Yes._

 _Okay. Goodnight, then._ And she curled herself into a tight ball in her blanket. For hours, she tossed and turned; sleep wouldn't come. But finally, finally it did, and with it a dream, and he was there. He simply knelt beside her bed, watching her sleep. Appreciating her. He reached out a hand, gloveless and bare, let his fingers skim her cheek. She turned her head, ever so slightly, and nuzzled into his hand. He tensed, gasped.

For the first lunar cycle on Ahch'to, she refused to speak to him at all. By the second, she replied, but not in a positive manner. _Go away, get out of my head, leave me be_ , or, if she was especially peeved, _shut up_ were her main replies. No one had dared tell him to shut up in…fifteen years? Force, she was perfection; gleaming, fearless, perfection.

She thrived under Luke's instruction, growing stronger and more sure of her abilities every day, secure and peaceful and blazing with light. He wondered, as he had long ago, if the reason he withered under his uncle's teaching was due to some fault in him, some flaw in his personality. Perhaps that was what had drawn him to the Dark side, because that, _that_ he could master. That came easily, flowing through him like lava, whereas peace and serenity were always just a bit out of reach. But Rey had no trouble connecting with that light, and he found that he was as drawn to that as he was to the darkness that still simmered under the surface in her.

By the third lunar cycle, she had taught herself to block him. Self-taught in everything since childhood, she was remarkably proficient at it. But, interestingly enough, she didn't block him all the time. She could have; he was quite aware that she could have. But she didn't. He never blocked her out. He reveled in the connection, in whatever she allowed. He spent most of his mental energy on another kind of blocking; hiding the bond from his master. He would not have her contaminated by Snoke, as he had been. No. Her power was too fine and pure. Dark, light – it didn't matter. She was raw potential. And she would be _his, his alone._

It was during the fourth lunar cycle that she had spent on the planet that she actually really responded to him for the first time. She was practicing light saber forms, and struggling, and he could feel the peace slipping away from her, being replaced with frustration.

 _You're making it too difficult. You're putting too much weight in your heels. If you transfer your weight to the balls of your feet, it'll help your balance. Keep doing it like that and you'll get knocked on your ass._

He expected her to ignore him, or tell him to shut up, but instead, she stopped, looked thoughtful and then… _As I recall, last time we fought, **you** were the one who ended up knocked on their ass._

He chuckled, low and deep, and he felt something, surprise and warmth and a little frisson of pleasure running through her, and he realized she liked his voice.

She shifted and tried again, this time flowing through the entire form easily. She beamed, and, ever so grudgingly, thought, _thank you._

That was the first real softening. And he took it, took it like a dog waiting for scraps, because it was something. He watched, waited, aching for more, unable to stay away. When he was feeling strong, he offered her advice and, instead of telling him to leave her alone, she listened. She took the advice and used it, and her progress, her power…it was stunning. His uncle noticed, amazed at what she could do, never guessing why. When he was feeling weak, he visited her in her dreams, kneeling by her cot, watching her sleep, perhaps reaching out a finger to touch her cheek – never more - whispering _goodnight_ before letting himself fade away to lie in his lonely bed and _pine._ He wanted more, but he dared not push; he was all too aware that she could slam the door on him permanently. So he waited and tried to think of a way to entice her.

In the end, she was the one who invited him in.

It felt like a door opening, when she let down all her defenses and let him in fully, and he could see and feel what she did. She was exhausted, on edge. It was the end of her training on Ahch'to. Tomorrow, they would return to the Resistance base. She would see Finn – he was recovering well, according to Poe, who kept her updated – and she would bring Luke back to his sister, and…things would change. She would be expected to do things, to fight; to earn her keep. This made sense to her; nothing was free. But she was afraid; and not for reasons anyone else could understand. So, lying in her cot, staring at the stone ceiling, unable, once again, to sleep, she reached out to him.

 _I would like to…talk._

 _Of course. What is it?_

 _No. Come to me_ , she said. _I know you can. I know you've been here before._

And he was there, without really knowing where 'there' was…only that he was in her presence, in her room, and she was _right there._

 _Rey?_

 _I'm going back. To the Resistance. And I know, eventually, we'll meet again. And we'll have to fight._

 _Yes. Do you still want to kill me?_

She sighed, shook her head, refusing to meet his eyes, almost embarrassed. _No._

He smiled. _Good. I don't want to kill you either. So we won't. Problem solved._

She nodded, but didn't seem ready to end the conversation. She wanted him there. He felt his pulse quicken.

 _Why do you visit me like this? Every night, just watching,_ she asked.

 _Because you let me._ He swallowed. Why _do you let me?_

 _Because when you're here…I'm not alone._

 _Oh, Rey. My Rey…_

 _I'm not…_

 _But you could be. And you would never have to be alone again._

She inhaled. Then she reached out, hand shaking, and touched his face…only a Force-dream touch but oh, _oh_ it was so real. He felt her small fingers, slightly calloused, nimble and clever, nails short and practical, tracing his jaw, his lips, his scar – _her_ scar. Oh, it felt so good, even in illusion it was beyond anything he had ever felt.

 _Why did this happen to us?_ She asked, fingertips trailing over his lips.

He shuddered, shook, ached. _I don't know. But there must be a reason. You said yourself, the Force doesn't make mistakes._

 _Is this the Force? Me, wanting you?_

He froze, shocked. _You...you want me?_

 _Y-yes._ So quiet he barely heard it.

He leaned closer to her, pressing his face against her hand, and breathed in; breathed her in. _I don't know. But I feel it too. I've felt it since the first moment I saw you._

 _So what do we do?_

Her hand was still on his face, and he mirrored her action, touching her cheek, her lips.

 _This?_ He asked, leaning in, his lips just brushing hers, waiting for a response, waiting for her to fling him away.

But she didn't.

Instead, she leaned in too, and deepened the kiss, her lips parting slightly, and it was more than he had ever expected; it was beauty beyond light or dark. It was truth; it was them; it was the only thing, _she_ was the only thing in the universe. He would belong to her, and she to him, and nothing else mattered. Her lips were soft and warm. She was hesitant, uncertain, but eager, her hand moving from his face to his hair, her fingers running through it as if it was something she had been wanting to do for a very long time. He pulled her closer and opened his mouth, pressing against her lips, begging for entrance, and after a second of confusion, she parted her lips, and then her mouth was moving against his, fervent and responsive. It went on for quite a while, although, when they finally pulled away from one another, short of breath, eyes blazing, it felt like far too short a time.

She smiled, and he noticed that she had the most adorable little dimples. _Was that real?_

 _Oh, yes. That was real,_ he sighed. _But I would love to try it again in person sometime._

 _Me too._

He felt her blush again, and pulled back, sensing her need to process what had just happened. _Goodnight_ , he whispered.

 _Goodnight_ , she whispered back.

* * *

He cherished that memory; he cherished every kiss and touch. Now, though, now they did far more than kiss in their dream meetings. He pulled the sheet over his shoulder, slowed his breathing and reached for her sleeping mind, aching, anticipating…

* * *

 **A/N**

Too sweet? Hopefully not; tender kisses and sinful smut are both good, right? And next chapter, some Force-dream smut will appear, plus more of Rey's analysis of just where Anakin went wrong. But it will be a while; I'll be out of town this week.

I'm not the only one that cried for Darth Vader at the end of Return of the Jedi, right? Right?

Thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing!


	15. Fantasy

**Commemoration**

* * *

Yes, I finally updated! I've been so busy, and have wanted to write so badly but life kept getting in the way, but I'm back, and hopefully will be able to write more now. So, a dream visit, with some smut, and some other stuff.

* * *

They were in an unfamiliar ship, flying in real space. Rey looked over at him from the pilot's seat and smiled. "Like it?" She asked.

He looked over the small freighter, ran a hand over the console, and nodded. "Yes. What is it?"

"A Ghtroc 690. My first ship; the one I found and fixed up _and had stolen from_ _me_ on Jakku."

"You rebuilt this? From wreckage?"

"It wasn't really in such bad shape when I found it, but yes." She grinned, radiating pride.

He examined the ship in more detail, noticing how snugly all the components were fitted into the console, how neatly all the wires were run, how every bit of metal gleamed, how the engines purred with a steady low hum. "You are remarkable."

She smiled, dimples dancing.

"So, why are we here?" He asked. Their dream visits didn't usually involve space travel.

"I wanted to try…something." Her eyes fluttered down, thick lashes against warm tanned skin.

He raised an eyebrow.

"I heard some of the pilots talking about the Parsec High Club, and well, apparently you aren't a _real_ pilot until you've, umm, joined as pilot in command." A faint blush spread over her cheeks.

"Ohhh." He chuckled, a soft, dark sound he knew made her insides shiver, and slid out of the copilot's seat to stand behind her, running the back of his hand across her cheek. She leaned into the touch. He bent down, brushing his lips across her hair, her cheek, her lips. His hands slid over her shoulders, down, fondling a breast through her wrappings. A soft sigh escaped her lips, and he swallowed it with a kiss. Her eyes remained open, peering out of the viewport as the space around them changed, the inky black and glittering stars replaced by a cloud of space dust that blotted out the light of the stars and suffused the ship's transparisteel viewport with a soft purple glow.

"Should I stop?" He asked, as visibility dropped to zero.

"No," her voice was little more than a breath. "This is nothing to worry about…just space weather. Flying IFR isn't that much harder than flying VFR if you know what you're doing. Just a matter of trusting the instruments." She scanned the instrument panel methodically, eyes moving in a set pattern: attitude indicator, altimeter, attitude indicator, heading indicator, attitude indicator, airspeed indicator, attitude indicator…careful, methodical, thorough.

"Alright. It's your dream." He ran a hand along her throat, enjoying the feeling of the soft skin there, feeling her pulse quicken as his other hand slid lower, inside the waistband of her pants, fingers skimming the soft hair there, sliding down, down, finding that soft, wet warmth he had longed for. He growled, and she gasped, eyes never leaving the panel, as he slid his fingers over her clit, down, down, sliding inside her. Her hand tightened on the stick and a little whimper escaped her lips.

He pulled his hand away, and she frowned at the denial, but only for a moment, as he leaned close to her, licked his fingers and whisper-thought _I want to taste you properly._

She blushed, looked away, but then she grabbed his hand and sucked his fingers, hard, as they flew out of the nebula; the action left him throbbing hard.

Wisps of space dust clung to the ship, then they were once again in inky clear space. She guided his hand back down to her waist band and thought, _please._

He didn't have to be asked twice.

"Faster," she whispered, and he moved his fingers over her wetness more quickly, swirling them around the hard throbbing center. Her breath was coming faster now, and he wondered when she would put the ship in hyperdrive so they could really get started.

As he moved his hand faster and faster, her breathing became ragged and he felt her whole body tense. _Yes, yes, please, don't stop._ Her right hand clutched the stick, her left snaking up to tangle in his hair, pulling his face closer to hers. _Kiss me._

He did, surprised at the hunger in her kiss. He was usually the one who felt like he could devour her, but this time, it was Rey who was desperate. He met her kiss with equal intensity, losing himself in the feeling of his mouth against hers. He slid two fingers inside her, and circled his thumb over her clit, and felt her tense, tense and cry out into his mouth and he swallowed her cry, followed it into her mind and saw something…blazing light and swirling darkness and electric sparks, and it was _beautiful._

She was limp now, slumped in the seat, still flying the ship with ease, and they were floating in each other as her breathing slowed and he leaned down and wrapped his arms around her tightly.

They were knocked out of their blissful reverie when something hit the hull of the ship. She glanced up, eyes wide. "Asteroid field," she said, suddenly intent on the view outside. Asteroids were coming toward the ship, first a few scattered ones, then more and more. She engaged the shields but it wasn't enough and they still felt the impacts. He gripped the back of the pilot's seat tightly.

"Hold on!" Rey shouted. She jerked the stick hard right, stomped on right rudder to dodge an especially large chunk of space rock, then shoved the stick hard forward, dropping them into a steep dive to avoid the next asteroid.

He felt his feet leave the floor, and grabbed the back of the pilot's seat. "Rey, get out of this!"

"If I can't handle a few asteroids, I shouldn't be flying." She swung the ship hard left, then pulled back on the stick, climbing over several more small asteroids.

"Rey, you don't have to do this to impress me."

"I'm not. I'm not making this happen."

He flinched as they barely dodged another huge hunk of rock and metal, then dropped into the copilot's seat. They swerved and dove and climbed, looping and rolling to avoid each new potential impact.

Finally, the asteroids thinned and disappeared and they were flying straight and level through the calm void of space again.

Her eyes had taken on a strange glazed experession. "You should buckle up," she purred, as the ship careened toward an area of swirling light and dark, purple and blue and black. He recognized this, had seen it as a child: The Maw. The swirling lights were ionizing gases being sucked into it.

"Rey. What are you doing? That's a cluster of black holes!"

She slid a sideways glance at him. "I know. I did this all the time on my flight sim."

He clenched his teeth _;_ gripped the arms of the copilot's seat in an iron grip. He did not want to be here, dream or not. "I've done it in real life, with…"

 _'Making the Kessel Run ain't about hitting 'direct to' on the navicomputer and punching the hyperdrive. You gotta hand-fly it past The Maw, right up to the edge, then slam it into hyperspace right before you get sucked in. That's how you cut off that extra distance.'_

"Rey, please. Engage the hyperdrive _now_ and get us out of here."

She looked at him, her face serene. "I know what I'm doing. I have to do this. Now strap in."

He did.

They were closer to the Maw now, and it gaped at them, a massive collection of black holes, their immense gravity tugging at the ship. Rey was focused, intent, hands on stick and throttle, moving as if she and the ship were one, gliding along the knife-edge that meant having enough escape velocity to pull away instead of being sucked in, swallowed and crushed. He tensed, forgetting it was a dream – was it a dream, really, anyway? It felt so real. "Rey, you're too close. Hit the hyperdrive!"

She shook her head. "No. Not yet."

"Rey! It's just a dream." But even as he said it, he wasn't sure. It was a Force dream; less than reality but more than just flickering images in their minds. "You don't have to…"

"I do. I can do this. I can do this!"

The ship lurched, and she yanked the stick left, jammed her foot against the left rudder, pushed the throttle in full.

For a sickening moment, the ship hovered, on the edge of being pulled in, of rocketing out, and the feeling of the potential movement was palpable, even as they were frozen, helpless. The ship vibrated, straining under the battle between the gravity of the black hole and the power of the engines. Rey's hand hovered over the hyperdrive switch. Kylo held his breath. _Rey, please, now_.

 _Not yet._

The ship shuddered and groaned. Still she didn't engage the hyperdrive. There was a loud screech as an antenna was ripped from the hull and sucked into the Maw.

She slammed the hyperdrive switch in. The ship shuddered, jolted, the stars around them quivering, stretching, slowly, slowly elongating and then with a sudden lurch they blurred into lines and the ship was free.

"Yes! I told you I could do it!" Her eyes were blazing, her lips slightly parted, her face flushed.

"Rey, I think…I think you can do anything. But why…"

He didn't get a chance to finish the question, because she was on top of him, her mouth on his, hard and insistent and _needing,_ and he wasn't about to deny her. He returned the kiss, hand on the back of her head, pulling her as close as he could, wanting to be a part of the blazing light and annihilating fury that was Rey right now. They tugged at each other's clothing, desperate to feel skin on skin, and the pieces seemed to dissolve away until they were pressed together, chest to chest, and she was straddling him, her breasts just at the right place for him to take one, then the other in his mouth. She moaned, dug her nails into his shoulders and lifted her hips, reaching down with one hand to stroke his erection before she slid down onto him, giving a harsh cry as she took him in fully, and she was so tight he thought he would explode, then she was riding him, fast and frantic and not like he had ever seen her. It was frightening; it was exhilarating. He had his hands in her hair, and he pulled, hard, and she cried out, a cry of mingled pleasure and pain that spurred her to move faster, harder, trying to take him in as far as she could, little gasps and grunts escaping her lips.

He caught her chin in one hand, brought her eyes to his, and held them there. She stilled her frantic movements, let him stare into her eyes, her mind, her soul. _You're mine_ , she thought. _Only mine._ She was shaking, clinging to him, somehow both excited and terrified.

 _Yes. And you're mine. And I love you_. "I love you."

She smiled, trembling, and ran a finger along his cheek. "I love you." She leaned down and kissed him, and they were consuming one another, moving together, connected in every way. He was deeper inside her than he thought he ever had been, but he wanted more, gripping her hips hard and slamming her down, driving into her, groaning and he felt his release built, felt her clenching around his length, pressing down, wanting more as much as he did. Then she threw her head back and screamed, her hands fisting in his hair, and he followed, exploding inside her, face contorted, letting out a guttural sound, shuddering as release tore through him.

She collapsed against his chest, breathless, sweaty and content. Reluctantly, he closed his eyes, knowing that when he woke up, she would be alone in his bed on the _Finalizer_.

* * *

 **A/N**

Ghtroc 690: The ship she found and rebuilt on Jakku in the _Before the Awakening_ book.

Parsec High Club: If you don't know what the Mile High Club is, I'm not going to be the one to explain it to you.

VFR: Visual Flight Rules – flying based on what you see out the windscreen with your own eyes. IFR: Instrument Flight Rules – flying with only instruments, and no visual reference; what you have to do to go through clouds. I took a lot of poetic license with the 'flying through a nebula' part; apparently, they're not considered dense enough to obscure visibility like clouds do, but it's a story, so…the description is based on flying through clouds, which is quite challenging if you don't know what you're doing.

The Maw: A cluster of black holes near the planet Kessel; one of the hazards of the Kessel Run.

Next chapter, Rey analyzes her dream, and Anakin's story, and Kylo's…and her own.

If you liked, please review. I've had a lousy day and could use something to make me smile. :)


	16. Decision

**Commemoration**

* * *

She was smiling when she woke up, and not just because of the Force-dream sex. Okay, mostly it was because of that, because it had been _amazing_. The adrenaline, the danger, her pride in her skills – it had intensified _everything_. And they would _definitely_ have to try that exact position in real life. Him sitting in a chair with her on top…it had been…wow. She had never felt him so deep inside her, and that was saying a lot, because… well, he was very tall. Her cheeks felt warm as a blush crept across her face.

Despite being inexperienced before, she wasn't totally ignorant about certain aspects of, well, men. She had seen…well, there had been these holovids she found in a flight bag in a crashed fighter. Unkar Plutt would pay for those, she had discovered, and one night, when she had come across more in a hidden compartment in an old freighter, she had decided to find out why. As a child of eleven, she had thought it was mostly just embarrassing, and she wondered why anyone would pay to see that, why anyone would want to _do_ that. But as she got older…there was curiosity. About men's bodies. About what men and women did. And why. She had seen…the only place to bathe was the wash station by Unkar Plutt's concession stand, and some people weren't exactly modest. In addition, scrap wasn't the only thing for sale at Niima Outpost, and discretion wasn't that important. So she had seen…nudity; the act. And she had heard talk…from the whores, from regular women – about the differences in men. Sometimes they complained about it being too big, and hurting (and she had been a little afraid about that, at first, but it hadn't) but usually the talk was about it being too small, not enough to feel, to reach what needed to be reached…derisive comments that she hadn't understood.

So she knew he had (her blush intensified) more than most men. But even so, she had never felt him like that.

It was then that she realized she wasn't alone with her thoughts. _Are you thinking about my…_

Her face burned. She hadn't realized he was there. _Gah. Don't just lurk! And…so what if I am? I…I like it._

A dark chuckle _. Oh, I know that. But I didn't know you thought about it in such detail._

 _Shut up._

 _Alright. But if you would like to praise my manhood again, please, let me know in advance._

 _Shut. Up. And get out of my head. And stop laughing. Gah, you're going to be unbearable now, aren't you?_

 _Probably._

 _I hate you._

But she couldn't maintain any real anger. The smile crept back.

They had said it. Said the words. Out loud. She played them over and over in her mind. _I love you_. He had been the first to speak the words.

She was still smiling when she sat down cross-legged in the meadow across from Luke to meditate; still smiling when they started working on light saber forms. Still smiling when she asked, eyes wide and innocent, if he could teach her Vaapad.

Her smile faltered when Luke lost his concentration and stumbled back, staring at her like she had just unleashed a stream of the vilest Hutt profanity.

"Rey, I…I can't because I don't even…I'm not a master of that form, or even a practitioner. It's…it's dangerous. Perilously close to the Dark side. I only know of one Jedi who mastered it. Mace Windu."

Rey nodded. "Yes. I was reading about him; that's where I learned about it. It sounds…effective." She ventured, careful not to sound too enthusiastic.

"For him, it was. But for others, it proved to be a path to the Dark side. I don't feel comfortable with it. At all." Luke's expression was closed off and resolute.

Rey frowned. It seemed so perfect for her situation. "But according to what I read, it's a way to channel any…any darkness in you. To make it into something positive."

Luke sighed. Rey watched him intently. In that moment he looked very old. "And are you…are you struggling with darkness?" he asked.

She bit her lip. She didn't know what to say. _Yes, desperately, since the beginning._ And now she was considering stepping to that edge intentionally. She shrugged, averted her eyes. "Don't we all? Didn't you? You said you did." She found it hard to believe that he ever truly had; he was so glowingly, unquestionably light. "I just thought…if there's a way to take that and make it work for you, without giving in, why not do it?"

Luke sighed again. "I think we should take a break," he said.

She could feel him pulling away. "Master Luke, please. Don't shut me out. I didn't mean to upset you; I just thought…it's considered a legitimate form and…"

"I…I need to meditate. Think about this. I…Rey, I can't lose you too."

 _Too_. Her heart ached. "You won't," she said. And she meant it.

* * *

After leaving Luke, Rey decided to take a walk around the perimeter of the base. She needed to organize her thoughts. And she would have to block the bond, because there were some thoughts she would prefer to keep to herself for now. She was disappointed – but not surprised – at Luke's reaction. Well, no matter. If he wouldn't teach her Vaapad, she would teach it to herself, like she had everything else. She needed it.

Walking along the perimeter fence, she encountered few people. Just the occasional soldier on sentry duty. They gave her polite nods but otherwise ignored her. She fell into a quick, steady pace, letting the movement focus her thoughts, analyzing, putting the pieces together.

 _Case 1: Anakin Skywalker_

Links in the accident chain: Distrust. Dishonesty. Fear. Manipulation. Love.

Probable Cause: Pilot Error. Anakin lied to the other Jedi about his love for Padme, so he couldn't go to them for help. He allowed himself to be tricked, manipulated by Palpatine. He believed him because he wanted to. He needed to. He allowed his fear to take over. She couldn't help but think that the Jedi code, with its prohibitions against basic human emotions, was at least somewhat implicated as well. How did one just _decide_ not to feel anger? Or fear? Or love? She certainly hadn't managed to do it.

Contributing factor: Love. Love was not the cause of Anakin's fall. Love was like weather. It just _was_. And a competent pilot could deal with weather. VFR into IMC was often a contributing factor in accident reports, but the probable cause was almost always pilot error. It wasn't usually the weather itself that was deadly; it was the pilot's inability to deal with it. Well, she could deal with it. And in the end, it was love that had redeemed Anakin Skywalker, love for his son.

And then…there was that 'bring balance to the Force' thing. That was what Anakin was supposed to do, wasn't it? So, what was balance, except a little light and a little dark?

 _Case 2: Ben Solo. Kylo Ren._

Her heart squeezed, ached. What had gone wrong for him?

Fear. Manipulation. Loneliness. _Need._ Gah, he _needed_ so much, and his parents – busy, pulled in so many directions, perhaps not suited to parenthood, or not ready for it (rumor was that Leia had gotten pregnant by accident on the forest moon of Endor, at the victory celebration, although Rey didn't know if that was true or not – it didn't seem like Leia, to be careless about something like that, but then, she had been young, and flush from a victory, high on adrenaline, and Han - he must have been quite charming when he was younger). Regardless, they had not been able to give enough. They had tried, and for most children, it would have been sufficient. But not for Ben. He needed more than most people, felt things more deeply, dwelt more fully in the realm of emotion than most – which was probably why the Jedi path had been so very, very difficult for him. She knew this better than anyone – the intensity of his feelings, because she could feel them, too. It occurred to her that most people would not be able to handle his intensity. She could – she wanted it, the girl no one had ever wanted or needed – she wanted to be needed that much. She needed his need, reveled in his intensity, swam in the emotions that he couldn't contain, loved the feeling of those emotions flowing from him into her, pulling her in, closer, deeper, filling in all the empty places she didn't even know she had.

But she realized, too, that most people were simply not enough for him. So he had been lonely. Damaged. Needing. And Snoke had exploited that. Her hands clenched and her teeth gritted. How despicable, to exploit a lonely, needy little boy like that; to keep at him, to twist him and manipulate him and control him, when all he really needed was love.

 _When all he really needed was me,_ she thought fiercely.

Probable cause: Pilot error, exacerbated by controller error ( _PIC does not have to follow air traffic controller's orders if they are unsafe: Responsibility and authority of the pilot in command: The pilot in command of an aircraft is directly responsible for, and is the final authority as to, the operation of that aircraft_.) He – Ben – was responsible for his choices. She would not absolve him. But there had been so many contributing factors. Reasons were not excuses, but they were still reasons. And those reasons – they were why the light was still there, buried deep inside him, but still there, desperate to be free to shine again. She had seen it, felt it…fucked it. Ben Solo was not dead; but who was he, now? He would not be the same boy he had once been; Kylo Ren was part of him; the Dark was part of him, as it was part of her. She didn't deny that. She only hoped that, freed from the manipulation of Snoke, he would be able to reach a balance.

There was that word again.

And if he could, she could.

But first, they had to eliminate Snoke. They would do it his way. The Sith way, he had said, even though he wasn't Sith. She knew what it meant, and she was oddly serene about that idea. Some people just needed killing; that was another lesson from Jakku. In her mind, it was thoroughly justified, just like Darth Vader's killing the Emperor to save Luke had been justified. And perhaps it was the Sith way, but it was also the Jedi way. _A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense._ This, in her opinion, was defense. In fact, if Luke had used it a bit more aggressively for _defense_ fifteen years ago, maybe none of this would have happened. She felt anger rising up, making her clench her teeth and her fists, but she pushed it away.

Rey frowned. She would not be another accident report. She would not be sucked into the Dark side. She could walk that knife edge. Her dream had proven that. _Flying past the Maw, the ship vibrating, shuddering; screeching metal and quivering stars; her hand poised over the hyperspace switch, waiting, closer, closer…_ She would get as close as possible, but she could – she would – pull away.

But first, she had to remove as many of the links in the accident chain as she could.

 _Fear._ She was not afraid.

 _Manipulation_. Snoke. Gone. A simple solution.

 _Love._ The opposite of hate. She would fly through it like a cloud of space dust, and it would make her stronger.

 _Loneliness. Need._ Driven out by love.

 _Distrust. Dishonesty._ That was trickier, because she was already deep into the danger zone. Well, time to make a three-sixty and get out.

She knew what she had to do. And she did not want to do it.

Still, when she returned to the barracks, she contacted Luke and Leia. Asked them to meet her in the conference room. She was going to tell them. She was going to tell them everything. Well, maybe not _everything_ , but the relevant points. And then she was going to go to him, she was going to help him, and she was going to bring him home. All of him.

* * *

 **A/N**

Well, she has a plan. Maybe not a brilliant plan, but a plan. So, everything is just going to go swimmingly now, right? Right? Or not?

Vaapad: Described as more than a fighting style; it was a state of mind that led through the shadow of the dark side, requiring the user to enjoy the fight, and relish the satisfaction of winning. The form was also mentioned with a cautionary warning by the Jedi that use of Vaapad led the user perilously close to the dark side.

VFR: Visual Flight Rules – flying by relying on what you see; good weather flying. IMC: Instrument Meteorological Conditions – bad weather. Flying in IMC requires the pilot to rely solely on flight instruments, because the weather obscures vision (in other words, you can't see crap inside a cloud). VFR into IMC is a common cause of crashes, especially by inexperienced or non-instrument-rated pilots.

Thank you for reading, and if you liked, please review. Nothing makes me happier than seeing a review pop up. :)


	17. Veracity

**Commemoration**

* * *

So, I wrote this story before the new information from _Bloodline_ became public, and my premise was that Ben was about 15 when he turned to the Dark side, that Luke saved Rey from the Jedi Academy and they left her on Jakku for safe-keeping. And I'm going to stick with that for this story. I'll incorporate new information into new stories I write, but, well, I just don't want to go back and change this, so consider it AU if you prefer. :)

* * *

"She knows," Leia said.

"What makes you say that?" Luke asked.

"Well, we're sitting here, aren't we? She asked to talk to us both together, about something important."

Luke lowered his brows. "It could be something else."

Leia quirked up the corner of her mouth.

Luke sighed.

They waited.

* * *

She wasn't ready. She knew they were waiting for her, but she just wasn't quite ready. How exactly was she going to do this? 'Hey, guess what? I've been lying to you since I met you. I have a Force bond with your son - your nephew - my nemesis. And, oh yeah, we're sleeping together; for almost a year we've been doing things to each other that are illegal in nineteen systems. And also I'm going to risk going to the Dark side to save him, because I'm that ridiculously in love with him. Can I borrow an X-Wing for that, please and thank you?' Yes, that would go well. They'd be fine with that, right?

She needed something to steady her, to give her the strength she needed to do this. She lingered along the perimeter fence, trailing a hand along the metal barricade.

 _Are you there?_

 _Always._

She smiled, warmth spreading across her chest. _Good._

 _Where were you?_

 _Just dealing with some things._

He didn't press. Resistance business, First Order business – they never used the bond to gain an unfair advantage. It was one of many unspoken pacts they had.

 _I missed you._ She knew she sounded small and lonely.

 _I missed you too._

There was silence for a few long moments. Rey continued to drag her hand along the fence. The metal was cold and smooth.

 _Rey? You seem…troubled._

She paused, hesitant. _I need_...she placed a hand flat against the fence, feeling the cold metal.

He knew, and a second later, she felt not cold metal but warm flesh against her hand. She smiled, leaned her forehead against the fence - not the fence. His forehead, leaning against hers, his hair brushing her cheeks. She breathed him in - metal and fire and graphite.

The sentries only saw the young Jedi girl, leaning against the perimeter fence, probably doing some sort of strange meditation. They didn't see the black-clad figure leaning against the other side, his hand and forehead pressed to hers.

 _What's wrong?_

She shook her head, just barely. _Nothing. I just...I need for you to know how much I love you._

 _I do._

 _Do you? Really?_ Her voice was wistful.

They were silent for several long moments, breathing together. Then she allowed a memory to form: _There used to be these sandstorms. Huge, swirling, suffocating. The Teedos called it_ _X'us'R'iia They lasted for days sometimes - you never knew. Once, when I was…maybe nine? I wasn't very experienced, and I didn't know the signs and I got caught out…trapped in an old Star Destroyer, when the X'us'R'iia swept in. I found a little room - a control room that had been picked clean – and I was able to close the doors. I didn't know how I managed to close them then- the mechanisms had long since been stripped out, and they were rusted open, but somehow, I managed to get them closed. I remember pushing and pulling and sweating, all the time more sand coming in, getting in my eyes and nose and throat, and I was straining and crying, and I gave one last pull and thought please -_ _ **please**_ _...and the door broke loose and closed._ She stopped, smiled. _I know what that was, now. That please. That was me using the Force. But I didn't know that then. So I was safe from the sand, but it was dark - so dark - there was a tiny crack in the door that let in a bit of light, but the sand blocked most of it out. I only had about half a liter of water. Not enough, not nearly enough. I waited, rationing the water, hoping the storm would blow over, but it didn't. I slept off and on...I had no idea how long I was there, because I couldn't tell if it was day or night. I ran out of water, and I waited for as long as I could but the storm didn't stop. Finally I knew I had to do something, so I found a vent in the ceiling and crawled through that, deeper into the ship, because I couldn't go outside. I dropped into room after room, hoping to find some source of water, but they were all sterile, dry. I was ready to give up, I remember lying down in that ventilation shaft, feeling the metal against my cheek – it was hot; not even metal was cool on Jakku- and thinking how easy it would be just to go to sleep and not wake up. But something…something made me keep going. I felt like it was pulling me toward something, so I followed, and I dropped into a room. The floor had been ripped open by a sharp rock, and there was a cavern below, and I could see it, just a little way down in the cavern. Water. Shining in the darkness. I rappelled down to it, and it was good, fresh and clean and clear and cold. I knew what to look out for - contaminated water, stale water, but this was an underground spring, bubbling up from deep in the ground. It was safe. I drank...little sips at first, so I didn't get sick. Then a little more, and a little more until my head stopping pounding. And then I got in the water. I sank into it, eased myself down and submerged my whole body in it and just let it wash over me and it felt so good. I was in it and it was in me. I was alive and I had never felt so good. I went back later to try and find that spring, but that part of the ship had collapsed._ She stopped, looked into his eyes. _You're like that. Like water. Do you understand?_

His eyes looked deep into hers, pulling her into their depths, holding her there. His hand pressed against hers, he took in a breath and shuddered. _More than you know._ His hand shook against hers. _I saw a man sucked out of an airlock once. It was when I first…when I started living on ships. I was still young and it was - memorable. He was standing there, in the airlock, working on some wiring. He connected something wrong and the exterior hatch opened and sucked him out. He…he puffed up. His eyes bulged out. His face turned white, then blue, then purple. He was gasping, clawing at his throat, desperate for air, then he just went limp as his blood boiled away. That was all I saw before he floated out of view. They say you can last fifteen seconds before you black out. Ninety before death. Space is utterly deadly and unforgiving. No air, no life, just blackness and emptiness and death. That's what I live in. But you…you're air. Fresh, pure air. That's how much I need you, how much I love you._

She smiled. _Okay_. It was a whisper. Her fingertips touched his, one at a time, carefully, gently. _Okay._

 _I need to be with you_. Longing swirled over the bond, deep and dark and aching, and she let it flow through her.

 _Yes. Soon._ She backed away from the fence. _I have to do something first._

 _Rey? What's going on? You seem uneasy._

She lifted a hand, as if to touch his face. _Trust me._

He sighed. _Trust you and you'll ruin me,_ he whisper-thought.

She backed away, the bond slowing fading. _I'll see you. Soon_

She turned her steps toward the largest building, the one that housed the conference room where Luke and Leia were waiting.

* * *

She walked into the room, tension thrumming through her veins like icy fire. They were sitting there, waiting, expectant…also tense. She managed a tight smile, pulled out a chair (it scraped across the floor too loudly) and sat. Placed her hands flat on the tabletop, fingers spread. Swallowed. Took a breath. "I…I've been thinking. About…your father."

They looked confused.

"I think…he made a lot of, umm, mistakes…but one of the first was…he lied. About your mother, how he felt…"

A look passed between them, an 'I told you so' from Leia to Luke, a resigned sigh from him.

Rey pressed on. "And I think, well…honesty is the best policy. Secrets only lead to trouble. And so…."

Leia interrupted. "Oh, Rey, sweetheart. We're sorry. We're sooo sorry. We should have told you."

She stopped, thrown off by this. "Told me?"

"We shouldn't have left you to figure it out on your own," Luke added.

Rey frowned. "Wha…"

Luke told her, then, about the massacre at the academy. About finding a little girl, injured but alive, grabbing her and squeezing her into his X-Wing, bringing her to Leia. About taking her to Jakku, where Plutt was supposed to have delivered her to Lor San Tekka, to be raised by the acolytes of the Church of the Force, trained and cherished and hidden until it was safer. About the horrible mishandling of that. Of how Plutt failed to fulfill his end of the bargain, of how they were so overtaken by their grief and guilt that they didn't follow through to make sure she was taken care of. About how they forgot her.

She sat, hands still flat on the tabletop, eyes wide with shock. _They_ had left her on Jakku? They had been the architects of her abandonment? Anger welled up, and she let it. They hadn't bothered to check and see if the five year old they dumped on a junkyard planet with a cheating junk boss had ended up safe? Anger turned to rage, the icy fire in her veins replaced with licking flames. They had known who she was, where she came from, from the beginning and had kept it from her? Suddenly, a new thought pushed through her fury.

"So you know…you know my parents. Who they are…where…" Her voice trembled with hope, but it was cut off by the look in Luke's eyes.

He shook his head sadly. "They were mildly Force-sensitive; we tried to warn them – we tried to warn everyone - but…it was too late. They were…found."

"Found?" All the blood drained from her face. "Found by whom?" She forgot to breathe.

Luke and Leia sat, silent. Leia wouldn't meet Rey's eyes.

"Found. By. Whom?" Rey's face was white, her hands were shaking and her eyes were blazing, tears spilling out unnoticed.

Leia stammered, "I'm not sure of the specifics…there was a concerted effort to…to find Force Sensitives and…"

Rey had her hands at her temples, eyes squeezed shut now. "No!" She shouted. "My parents. My PARENTS!"

Luke reached out. "Rey, please, I know this is difficult…"

"NO!" She shouted again, standing abruptly, chair scraping loudly across the floor as it slammed into the wall behind her and splintered into pieces. "Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP! No Skywalkers get to talk me! None!" Her eyes were open, no longer focused on Luke and Leia, but staring, blazing, at a point in the middle distance. "None! Not any! Not now! Do you understand? I don't want to hear it! I don't want to hear anything from you! Not another word!" And she ran from the room.

* * *

He was on the bridge of the _Finalizer_ when he felt a growing sense of alarm seeping through the bond. She had blocked him, he assumed because she was doing something related to the Resistance, but now the walls were crumbling and he felt her…felt her confusion and sorrow and…rage? What was happening? He turned away from the control console he had been idly watching, tried to focus, listen. They were telling her about…oh no. The Jedi Academy. The…what happened. Definitely in the top ten of Things We Never Talk About. Luke was saying he saved her. _He_ saved her? Idiot. As if he could have. If Kylo Ren had wanted her dead, she would have been. But he didn't…hadn't. He had spared her. It had been his first act of disobedience; he hadn't known then how many more she would lead him to commit.

She was white-hot fury; he felt it burning through his veins. It was delicious. Maybe now…maybe now she would _see_ , she would realize why he had turned away from these people.

She was asking about her family, and they were telling her…

Oh no. The purge. They had been caught up in it. Her mother. Her father. He clutched the back of a chair.

They were telling her…

 _Found. By. Whom?_

His uncle, his mother, not meeting her eyes. Why…oh kriff. They thought…they thought he had…the purge…they thought it was his doing, too. For some reason, that cut him. He had done so many terrible things, but to be assumed guilty of an atrocity he didn't commit; for his mother to just accept that he must have been responsible for that too…

They were looking at Rey with shame and pity and guilt.

Her brain was whirling, spinning. And that delicious white-hot rage was turned toward him now, it was burning him, seering him with her hatred. ' _My parents. My PARENTS!'_

 _I didn't…_

 _'_ _NO!'_

 _I didn't do it! I swear – I swear…_

He felt a surge of energy from her, red and vicious as she slammed a chair against the wall and shattered it.

 _'_ _Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!'_

 _I did not…that wasn't my mission…_

 _'_ _No Skywalkers get to talk me! None!'_

 _Rey, please. Listen!_

 _'_ _None! Not any! Not now! Do you understand?'_

 _I did not kill your family!_

 _'_ _I don't want to hear it!'_

 _But I didn't…the academy…it was an…initiation…_

 _'_ _I don't want to hear anything from you!'_

 _After that I was taken away and…I did not…_

 _'_ _Not another word!'_

The bond slammed closed, and her presence was more totally gone than it had ever been before. He felt like he had been kicked in the gut. She was gone, not just blocking him but…there was an absence, a hole. She had closed him out so thoroughly he couldn't sense her at all. He flung the chair he was leaning on across the bridge, startling the junior officers and techs working there. He glared at them through his mask, ignited his light saber and slashed at the control panel in front of him, breathing in the acrid electrical smoke and the fear emanating from his underlings in waves and _raging_.

* * *

Leia's mouth tightened. "Well, that went well."

Luke shook his head. "That was odd."

"Well, how did you expect her to react? We just told her we dumped her in a junkyard, lied to her about everything, and are at least somewhat responsible for the death of her entire family."

"No. It was like she wasn't talking to _us_ anymore," he said, worry lines deepening.

"Well, of course she was talking to us."

Luke frowned. "The way she said it – no Skywalkers get to talk to me….like there were others. But we're the only ones."

Leia stared at her hands. Her voice was soft and sad. "Well. There is another Skywalker."

Luke put a hand over her two clasped ones. "I know. I know. I didn't mean to…I just meant…"

She nodded. "I know."

They tried to find her, but it was too late. Her usual X-Wing was gone. BB-8 was gone. Rey was gone.

* * *

 **A/N:**

Please don't hate me! There has to be some angst; things can't just work out easily. Patience you must have, my young padawans.

Death in space: Based on Science! It's pretty gruesome.

Thank you so much for reading this story; I love you guys, and I love hearing from you. Faves, follows and reviews are the highlight of my day, so if you liked, please leave a review. Really, it's one of the nicest things you can do.


	18. Repercussions

**Commemoration**

* * *

"I'm fine, BB-8," she said, wiping tears and snot from her face with the back of her hand.

The little droid rolled along behind her, beeping and booping.

"No, I don't need help."

BB-8 rolled in front of her, bumping her knees and blocking her path to the flight line.

"Yes, I'm fit to fly."

More beeps.

"Fine, yes, I could use a navigator. You can come with me if you like." She sprinted across the tarmac and swung herself into the X-Wing, running through the pre-flight sequence by rote, letting BB-8 handle most of it as she jammed a helmet on her head, sniffled and called for a take-off clearance.

* * *

Lt. Mitaka scurried down the corridor. He stopped outside General Hux's office, lifted a hand to knock, hesitated, took a deep breath, licked his lips and, finally, tapped on the door.

The door slid open. "Enter."

Mitaka took a single step into the office, swept his cap off, took another step.

Hux looked up, clearly not pleased to be interrupted. "Well?"

Mitaka swallowed hard. "S-sir. There is a…a situation on the bridge."

Hux scowled. "What type of situation?"

"Umm, ah…code 99, sir."

Hux stopped what he was doing, tightened his lips into a line, and snapped the stylus into its slot on his datapad with a loud click. He stood, straightening his jacket. "Well, let's go then," he snapped.

He followed Mitaka to Bridge B, which was usually a humming hive of calm efficiency. Right now, though, Bridge B was a swirl of chaos. Workers were huddled at the back of the room, afraid to actually leave their posts but more afraid to remain in striking distance of the crackling red light saber. The front of the room was a mess of sparking wires, broken glass and acrid electrical smoke. In the middle of the destruction, a black-cloaked figure stood, hunched over a chair, breath coming in harsh rasps.

Hux marched across the bridge, glass crunching under his spit-shined boots, all self-righteous indignation.

"Ren! What is the meaning of this?"

Kylo Ren turned, radiating dark anger, red lightsaber hissing. "DO NOT antagonize me right now, General." He punctuated his sentence with a backward swipe that sent a holoscreen crashing to the floor.

Hux gritted his teeth. "I have no idea what has precipitated this…outburst…and I do not care. However, your actions are impacting the ability of my staff to carry out their duties. The duties of the First Order."

"Are you questioning my loyalty?"

"I'm _questioning_ your _sanity_."

Kylo Ren stepped closer to Hux. "As well you should," he said, voice deadly quiet.

Hux took a breath. "Bloody Force, man. Get a grip. Maybe you should go wherever it is you go and get laid."

Kylo Ren stopped, stared at Hux, tilted his head. "You're so right," he said, and turned on his heel and stormed away.

"Ren! REN!" Hux fumed. "What the…what about this mess?"

The only answer was the hollow echo of footsteps on the metal flooring, fading into the distance. Hux clenched his fists and exhaled loudly as he looked around the bridge. His face looked like he had just bitten into something sour.

He whipped out his datapad and started tapping at it. _Three navicomputers, 800 credits each; five holoscreens, 1200 credits each; one radar scope, 3000 credits; two chairs, 50 credits each…_

He stopped long enough to key a mic, once he found one that was in working order. "Sanitation to Bridge B. Sanitation to Bridge B."

* * *

For a long time, Rey just flew. She wasn't really going anywhere; just punching holes in space. BB-8 kept track of their location, beeping a warning if there was anything in the way. She allowed him to plot a course and take the ship into hyperspace, and finally, the tears dried and her nose stopped running and she could drift. _They_ were the ones who had left her; Luke. Leia. She had adopted them as her new family, thought she had finally found a hime and people who cared about her – and it turned out, they were her old 'family' that had dumped her like so much trash on a junkyard planet to fend for herself (the logical part of her brain reminded her that they had not intended that; they had intended for her to be cared for by the Church of the Force, taught about her gift, trained and treasured…but she wasn't ready to acknowledge that yet; she was still too angry). She remembered, now, the image of a man with blond hair and a woman with coiled brown braids, walking away across the desert. They hadn't even looked back as she cried, trying to pull away from Unkar Plutt's grubby grip. _Come back. Come baaaack!_

Fresh tears blurred her vision.

They hadn't even cared enough to check on her.

And he…

The tears ran harder, hotter, a sob escaping her lips.

…had sworn he hadn't killed her parents, before she blocked him, but was that true? And what if it was? Wasn't he the one who had set the chain of events in motion?

It was a shock when she felt the ship come out of hyperspace; a bigger one when she noticed the lovely green globe below. How had she ended up here?

"BB-8?"

His responding beep was far too innocent.

Well, it was a place to stop and think, at least. She initiated the landing sequence, and before long, found herself standing before the massive doors of Maz Kanata's castle.

* * *

Rey crept in, sticking to the edge of the room, BB-8 rolling after her, beeping in excitement. "Shhh," she hissed. "We're trying to keep a low profile." She found a small table, hidden in the back of the bar, ordered a caffa and sat, stirring it and sipping the bitter liquid, hoping her presence would go unnoticed.

That hope was quickly crushed.

Maz walked directly over to Rey, a small smile dancing on her lips. She placed two glasses of something green that gave off an oily glow on the table, pushing one towards Rey. "Here. I think you need something stronger than caffa," she said, sitting down. "For someone who didn't want any part of this, you're certainly in the middle of it."

"I don't know what you…"

But Maz leaned closer, adjusted her goggles and fixed Rey with a stare that looked right into her soul. "Ah. A Force Bond, then. And…something more."

Rey's eyes dropped to the table. "How…?"

Maz smiled, taking Rey's hand in her two tiny ones. "Oh, dear child, I can see him in your eyes. Also, mmm, the two of you were very…loud."

Rey felt her cheeks flame.

"In the Force, child. Not the other way, although…well, no matter. Anyone attuned to the Force couldn't miss it," Maz said.

Rey's eyes widened, and Maz chuckled. "Well. No, not Luke. He would have felt something, but that dear innocent boy wouldn't realize what." Her smile was knowing. "So. Tell me. How did this become what it is? "

Rey looked away and took a cautious sip of the green liquid, expecting something vile. It was surprisingly sweet, a bit like a Corellian apple, but with a follow-up of searing fire. She felt tears prick her eyes again, but fought them. "Oh, Maz. I don't even know where to start."

"Start with what's most important."

A tear escaped, rolled down Rey's cheek. "I love him. Err, I did. I do. I know I shouldn't, but I can't not."

"The Force. It works in mysterious ways," Maz's smile was kind. "But tell me, child, why are you so distressed now?"

Rey told Maz about her plan, to talk to Luke and Leia, to tell the truth, to _bring him back_ , and how, instead, she had been hit with a different truth - that Luke and Leia had been the ones to leave her on Jakku, that they had abandoned her, forgotten her, perhaps somewhat unintentionally, but the result was the same. She had been left to scratch and survive alone, and the sense of betrayal that ripped at her was strong.

"So, they were keeping something important from you. And weren't you keeping something important from them?"

"Well, yes. And I realized that was…a problem. I was going to tell them the truth…everything." She felt heat creep up her neck and onto her cheeks. "Well, almost everything. But then they told me…that and…more…worse…" Her hand absently fiddled with BB-8's antenna, and the little droid rolled closer, providing comfort and companionship.

She told Maz about finding out that she had been at the Jedi Academy, that they had known who she was all along but kept it from her; about the way they had looked at her, guilt and pity and responsibility, when she had asked about her parents – about the way that had made her think _he_ had done it; the way they just _assumed_ he had, which suddenly infuriated her in a new way. How dare they? About _his_ desperate promises that he hadn't been the one to kill her parents, and her refusal to listen. By the time she finished, her face was red and raw from crying, and the glass was empty. A droid refilled it.

"But you are still angry with him."

Rey nodded, scrubbing at her eyes. "Even if he didn't actually kill them…he would have. If it was his mission, he would have. And, well, he…the Jedi Academy. He did that. And that's why I ended up on Jakku and…"

"You knew these things about him. Does anything you've learned today make him a different man than the one you knew yesterday?"

"Well, no. I knew who he was, what he has done…but…he's more than that, he's…the light is still there, I know it is, even though…"

"So it's only when it affected you personally that his actions were a problem?"

"What? No!" She was instantly defensive.

Maz waited, watched as Rey processed this.

Rey frowned. Maz had a point. She suddenly remembered Luke's caution against attachment, and saw it in a new light. This was why a Jedi had to avoid attachment, because then things became personal. "Oh. I never looked at it like that."

"None of us do, child."

"So you agree, that attachment is…dangerous? To be avoided?"

Maz sighed. "No. It's just that we must be aware, we must be careful. But denying all emotion? That's pointless; it's a fight you can't win. So, love." Maz patted Rey's cheek. "But love with your eyes open. You knew who he was, what he's done, and who _else_ he is. Do you love him anyway?"

Rey nodded.

A smile spread across Maz's face. "Good then. Now, wipe your face and tell me everything, from the beginning…and don't leave out the juicy details."

Rey took the napkin Maz handed her and wiped her face obediently. BB-8 bumped her leg and beeped an inquiry. Rey smiled, patted the droid. "Yes, I think I'm finished leaking for now," she said. "You can go explore if you want to."

* * *

 **A/N**

I have struggled so much with this chapter! Gah! I'm still not totally satisfied with it, and what I ended up with was way too long, so this is only the first part. It was hard to write because I wanted Maz to give Rey all sorts of words of wisdom, but I'm not all that wise. So I hope it works. Like Maz, you'll have to wait a bit for the juicy details. Next chapter has a good bit of flashback smut, so hopefully that's a good thing. :)

Thanks for reading and following and faving and reviewing; getting a review truly does light up my day. :)


	19. Reverberations

Commemoration

Rey told Maz the whole story, starting with that day, over a year ago, in the woods on this very planet, when she was trapped, frozen, and he had stalked around her like a wolf, invaded her mind and deemed her worth more than the droid with the map to Luke Skywalker. She told Maz about Starkiller, about what she saw when he took off his mask – not the monster she expected – _wanted_ – him to be, but a human being, all emotion, raw and aching. About finding her power, latent and unknown, with him; about the strangely intimate way their minds had joined then, and the connection that had formed, unbeknownst to either of them.

"When I discovered this, I didn't know what it was. I just…I could feel things he felt, see things he saw, and they were terrifying and heartbreaking. I thought it was something he had done, some new way to torment me. But then I studied some of Luke's materials and I knew it wasn't. At first I was angry, but also…confused. And curious." She stared at the table. "I knew I should hate him – he had killed his own father, tried to kill Finn, so many other things, but I couldn't. He…talked to me. I ignored him, at first, but…he was so persistent, and so _interested_. No one had ever cared before…about me. And he was…I felt what he felt, Maz, and it wasn't…it wasn't what I expected. He was tormented, torn…the dark and the light raging inside him. We started…talking? Communicating, anyway. And…visiting. In dreams. "

It felt good, she realized, to finally be able to talk to someone. Rey found herself telling Maz almost everything; about the Force dream visits, kisses, touches…more. About the first time they had encountered each other in person after she returned to D'Qar.

 _It had been a routine mission…retrieving some Jedi relics for Luke. But it turned out Luke wasn't the only one who wanted them, and Rey had found herself face to face…well, face to mask…with him. They fought, lightsabers clashing and sparking, unconsciously working their way away from the others, until they found themselves alone in a small stone room, lightsabers locked together._

 _"Disengage?" He had asked, voice strange through the mask, not at all like it was in her head._

 _"How do I know you won't just stab me?"_

" _Read my thoughts. I can't lie to you."_

 _So she did. "Right, then." She had nodded, and they had simultaneously flicked off their lightsabers. He reached up, unlocked the mask with a hiss, and removed it. She remembered staring into his eyes then, searching those intense dark depths, waiting, breathless, as his gaze dropped to her lips. Feeling compelled to drop her gaze to his lips, so soft and full, and thinking, well, here we are, in person. And then he had moved closer, and those full lips had brushed hers, and she had let her eyes flutter closed and her lips part slightly. He had taken that as a sign and had deepened the kiss, his mouth soft and hot against hers, moving and alive and_ _ **real**_ _. He had pressed his body against her, and it had fit perfectly. When she let a soft sigh escape her slightly parted lips, he had moaned against her mouth and it made something twist and curl deep inside her, and she had opened her mouth, wanting more. She had felt his tongue flick against her lips, and she had tried the same thing, her tongue touching his lips, then he was pressing against her, his mouth suddenly not soft, but hot and hungry, devouring her. She had felt how much he wanted her, how much he wanted her to want him. She remembered how good it had felt, how right even though she knew it was wrong. How it had made something flutter down below, awakening something else new in her._

 _He had trailed a hand over her cheek, down her throat, lower, trailing his fingertips over her breast, barely touching but making her gasp._

 _"Rey." He had breathed. And then the sounds of blaster fire and explosions moving closer had broken the spell, and they had run in opposite directions._

She told Maz about the times after that, when they had managed to run into each other accidentally-on-purpose when he had a mission, or when she did, meeting in old temples, Jedi and Sith, or weapons manufacturing plants, or munitions factories…fighting, intense and violent and real but with the stalemate at the end already pre-ordained, sometimes only fighting because there was nowhere to go, no escape from the eyes that were always there, watching them. Enjoying the fights, the undercurrent of _something else_ in the back and forth of battle. But sometimes, there was a secluded alcove or storage room, and they managed to work their way inexorably away from everyone, desperate for that time together but refusing to acknowledge it, each encounter moving them closer, closer.

"Maz, I didn't mean for it to happen, and there are still so many things…things we just pretend don't exist. He's Kylo Ren. I know what that means. But Maz, he's also Ben Solo. He's still there; he's not gone."

Maz's face suddenly looked every bit as ancient as Maz was. "Ben Solo. Han brought him here, a few times, when he was small. I saw his struggle, his conflict. I hoped that Han and Leia and Luke would be enough," Maz sighed. "They weren't. How do you know he's still - Ben?"

Rey bit her lip. "I just know."

Maz leaned closer, peering into Rey's eyes. "But how can you be so sure he isn't utterly lost to the dark?"

" _I just know_."

"How?" Maz's stare was intense.

"Because," Rey said, her voice dropping, a low warning creeping into her tone, her face suddenly fierce, "because he's _mine_."

Maz gave a startled inhale.

Rey took a stuttering breath, fiddled with her glass, turning it in her hand, watching the green liquid roll around and coat the inside. She steadied herself. Then she lifted the glass and took a quick gulp, knocking back the rest of the drink. "He…well, when we, you know, the first time…it was Ben. And sometimes, other times, he's…he's there. I don't quite know how to explain, but I know."

 _They were on Kamino. He had been sent there to meet with the Kaminoans, to discuss a clone army (they had lost so many Stormtroopers on Starkiller, and clones could be ready in ten years, so Hux had finally agreed to consider it). He had asked her, over the bond, to meet him there. As always, against her better judgment but unable to resist, she had agreed. She had borrowed a small freighter. 'I need to fly, just to knock the rust off,' she had said, guilt curling in her gut at the lie._

 _They were in a room full of files, huge databanks lining each wall, humming quietly. It was dim and the rain was sheeting against the large window at the end of the room, pounding on the roof, thunder rumbling above. She was soaked to the skin, water dripping from her hair into her eyes. "What is this planet?"_

 _He had shrugged, removing his sodden cloak. "Wet."_

 _She had laughed at that, she remembered, and he had smiled back…an actual smile. They stood there, dripping on the pristine floor, staring at each other for a long moment, and then he was across the room in two steps._

 _He had her pressed against the wall, and he was kissing her, his mouth hungry and demanding and everywhere – on her mouth and her neck and her collarbone, his hands roaming over her body, pulling at her wet clothes. He pulled off her top, unwound the bindings around her chest and arms, and then his mouth was on her breast, licking, sucking, biting the nipple. She whimpered, digging her nails into his back, feeling that as-yes-unsatisfied throbbing start between her legs. He shifted, pushing her legs apart with his knee, grinding against her. She felt him…his cock, hard and unmistakable beneath his layers of clothing._

 _She reached down with a small hand, hesitant but curious, and stroked him. He groaned, threw his head back, hands sliding inside her pants, pushing them down. She let him, let her pants drop to her ankles, stepped out of them. Reached out and fumbled at his belt with her fingers, finally unclasping it. Pushed his shirt off his shoulders, all while his hands and eyes and mouth explored her body. Finally he couldn't wait any longer and was throwing his own clothing off, still kissing, licking, touching her. His hand slid inside her undergarment, down to that place that ached and when he touched her there, she let out a little gasping shriek, because now she knew what it was she ached for. His touch, which set her on fire in a way her own hand, in the lonely hours of the night, never had. This was wrong. So wrong. His touch was turning her into a gasping pool of wetness and want as the rain pounded on the window and the building they were in swayed a bit on its stilts. Wrong, wrong, wrong. His fingers stroked over her, slid into her folds, over the most sensitive spot, and she cried out, a startled little yelp of pleasure that she knew he felt over the bond as well as heard. So wrong. So wrong. So…._ _ **right**_ _._

 _He pulled away, looked at her, his eyes roaming over her, hungry, wild. The corner of his mouth curved up in a delicious smirk, and he slid his fingers lower, until they were circling around…right there._

 _'Yes?' It was a question, sent to her silently._

 _'Yes.'_

 _And he plunged a finger inside her…he had long fingers, nothing like her own small ones…and she couldn't breathe for a second because it was so startling – to have him touch her there, like that, and because, kriff, it felt so good. She banged her head against the wall and pushed her hips toward his hand, and she felt a dark chuckle over the bond as he felt her wanting more._

 _He was kissing her neck, her breasts; and then, he knelt down in front of her and kissed her stomach, her naval, moving lower, lower, his tongue flicking out, as if to taste her…_

 _'Wha..what are you…' She was hesitant. He was looking at her like he wanted to consume her._

 _'Trust me?' Two fingers moved in and out, sending little shocks of pleasure through her._

 _'Yes.' She was sure she was lost, then. She had agreed to trust him. HIM. Kylo Ren. But she was throbbing, aching, and so was he, she could feel it, and it was so raw and true that she couldn't resist him, didn't want to because he needed her, not just physically but with his whole being, and this was real. Wrong and confusing and somehow terrible and beautiful at the same time, but real._

 _They sank to the floor; he was kneeling, still, hovering over her as he pulled her down, and she felt what he was feeling, that he would take her, that he would have her, that he would…so many dark and depraved thoughts, all wrapped in a desperate, aching need, and she wanted them_ _ **all.**_ _He parted her thighs with a hand…kissed and nibbled at her hip, his fingers still stroking her wetness, his head between her legs, and then she felt his tongue flick over that spot and she was indeed lost, floating in a sea of sense and feeling, aware only of his tongue and his fingers and what they were doing to her…something she had never known before, so intense it drove her mad with want, and she let that flow freely to him, let him know what she wanted, how much she wanted this, wanted him, wanted whatever he was doing to her to last and last because there would never be enough of this. She felt something shift in his mind, a slight transition from taking to giving, felt his focus change from what he wanted and needed to her, only her, only giving her what she needed, and it almost made her weep, because no one,_ _ **no one**_ _, had ever given her anything just to please her. She felt heat radiating through her veins, a tension mounting in her muscles and then her mind went blank as she felt like she was falling and floating and exploding at the same time, and she was clinging to him, one hand twisted in his hair, the other digging into his shoulder, as her back arched off the floor and she banged her head against it, gasping and crying out as she felt the best feeling she had ever had wash over her in waves, once, twice, three times, like the waves outside pounding against the side of the building. Then she was limp, her breath and reason returning slowly as he crawled up her body and hovered over her, his expression a combination of lust and pride and eagerness._

 _His trousers were gone, and she couldn't help staring, then touching, a hesitant hand reaching out, gentle fingers stroking his length. He shuddered, grunted, reached down and gripped her hand in his, wrapping her fingers around him more tightly._

 _She felt something new thrumming across the bond, a new level of excitement and arousal, an anticipation that this was finally going to happen._

 _He loomed over her, close enough that she could feel him, feel his cock, brushing against her. She tensed, suddenly nervous. "Wait…"_

 _He stopped, pulled away. "Rey?" He was looking at her, his eyes dark with lust. "I want you. Let me show you how much."_

 _There was a part of her that would have let him do anything he wanted to her right then, but another part that was frightened. "I…I want to but…" she let the rest go unsaid, but not unheard._

 _"You've never…?"_

 _She shook her head, reaching out for what he was feeling, afraid he would somehow be disappointed. She was surprised at what she found. "You…you like that. It…excites you."_

 _He had leaned closer…inhaled her, looked away, but hadn't denied it. "I…would not want you any less if it weren't so, but I admit…yes. I like the idea that you will be mine…" his fingers trailed over her cheek. "Only mine. Thinking of anyone else touching you…" He clenched his fist and closed his eyes, and she felt something like physical pain rolling off him._

 _"You…have." Her voice was small, and it wasn't a question._

 _He nodded, avoiding her gaze. "Allowing one's…passions…free reign was…encouraged. When I was young. When I first came to the Dark side."_

 _"Right. Of course. I just…."_

 _Surprise, pleasant surprise, had registered on his face. "You're…jealous. You feel that too. You want me to be…"_

 _"Only mine," it was a whisper._

 _"Yes," he had breathed, and he wished it too, wished he had never touched anyone, never thought of anyone before her. "Rey, it was never…it was only for my pleasure. What I just did for you…I never did that for anyone else. Not like that. I never even knew their names; I don't remember their faces, even. You might as well be jealous of my hand."_

 _She had blushed, and shoved the thought away. Silly, anyway. He was much older than her; the Dark side encouraged passion, lust. And why should it matter, anyway?_

 _"I want to be yours. I will be. I am; I have been since I saw you here, in the forest. Yours. Only yours. Only yours," he whispered, interspersing the words with kisses._

 _Then he had looked at her, and his eyes were different. Soft and brown and expressive under the deep black, looking deeply into hers. She couldn't look away. "Rey?"_

 _"Yes?" Rey had searched his eyes, searched his mind, and discovered something unexpected there. "Ben?"_

 _He didn't say anything, but she saw flashes…a boy, living a double life, wanting to be normal, not being allowed to. No peace, no sleep, no friends because they all sensed something about him, something dark and terrible. And that same boy, giving himself to the Dark, thinking it was the only way, a voice constantly telling him it was who he was, it was his legacy, and that no one else understood, no one else wanted him anyway, and if he only gave himself over fully the torment would end; a tall, gawky boy of fifteen, giving away his youth before he ever had a chance to experience…anything. A boy who had almost ceased to exist, but who had found himself again in her eyes. He smiled, and it was a shy smile._

 _She had melted into his arms then, melted into his kiss and pulled him closer._

 _She spread her legs apart, opening herself to him, and he rubbed his cock against her; she felt him reveling in the hot wetness there as she squirmed and whimpered into his kisses. He had reached down, gripped his cock, positioned it just at her entrance, and Force, she wanted it, she throbbed and ached for it so much that she was ashamed, embarrassed by how desperate her desire was._

 _She had heard that it hurt the first time._

 _She didn't care._

 _"Ben, please, now."_

 _She had felt him, inside of her, a strange pushing sensation, a fullness, a completeness, and she whimpered…and he had rasped, breath catching in his throat at the feeling, and that had driven her even wilder, and she was panting, and then he was pulling back and plunging in again and again and she was thrusting her hips up to meet him, just then realizing there hadn't been any pain, just sensation and now, now just this blissful rhythm that she never wanted to end…except that she felt it building to an end that she did want, very, very much. He was thrusting harder now, unable to maintain control, grunting and gasping as they clung to each other, and she felt him explode, inside her body, inside her mind, and she had never felt such pleasure, so intense and he screamed, his voice in her ear harsh and wild, and then she was pulsing, shaking around him, and crying out too as he collapsed on top of her._

She didn't tell Maz all of that, although she knew she probably saw it in her eyes, and when the tiny woman leaned back in her chair with a nod and a satisfied 'hmmm', Rey knew she understood.

"So, is it just Ben Solo you love?"

"N-no. I love Ben…Kylo…all of him. Oh, that's wrong, isn't it? I should want to…to change him. But I…I don't. I just want…I want him to be free."

Maz's face relaxed. "That's not wrong at all. In fact, that's the only way it will work."

Rey frowned, confused.

Maz patted her hand. "Child, the darkness is part of him - as it is part of you. You cannot change that…and I don't think you want to. But so is the light. You're the only one he lets see that. But it is there. Let it guide you."

Rey nodded, but without conviction.

"Luke and Leia," Maz said, folding her hands. "What they did was thoughtless, but not malicious. What they were dealing with at the time…" Maz shook her head, a veil of sadness dropping over her face. She finished her drink and fixed Rey with a hard stare. "You must talk to them, child."

Rey nodded. "I know. I will. Just…not yet. I'm not ready. But I will."

Maz nodded. "Not that they didn't make mistakes, and well before they forgot about you. Their handling of the situation, of Ben...well, no one asked for my advice, so I didn't give it. If they had, I would have said…" Maz stilled and raised her eyes to the ceiling, sensing, listening. "Your boyfriend is here," she said.

A/N:

Yeah, so I know no one's first time is that good…or the second or third, usually. But the mind-reading and the Force-dream practice must have helped. And of course, having the perfect partner. ;)

Hoe you enjoyed; if so, comments make my day!


	20. Reunion

**Commemoration**

* * *

"He's here?"

Maz watched Rey's face change; it lit up, eyes shining and cheeks pink, until she practically glowed. It had been a long time since Maz had seen a love so pure and strong. It could save them all…or doom them all. Maz smiled at Rey, her eyes glad and sad in the way only the eyes of the very old could be. "Oh, child. You - you're enough for him," she said, reaching out a gnarled hand and patting Rey's cheek. "Now, go to him."

Rey pushed her chair back and ran toward the entrance. Maz scurried after her, barely able to keep up on her short legs. They burst through the doors just in time to see his ship land, wings folding in graceful menace. Rey stood on the edge of the stone step as he strode toward her, intense and purposeful.

Maz stood just behind her, BB-8 rolling after and bumping her legs inquisitively. "It's alright, little one," Maz soothed the droid. She hoped what she said was true.

The black figure stopped several meters away, on the walkway that led to the castle. He held out a hand, but Rey was just as fast, and they were caught in a stand-off, both frozen in Force-stasis, struggling to break each other's hold.

Maz could feel, could _see_ the energy thrumming between them. She also saw that other patrons had started streaming out of the castle, alerted to some possible entertainment by swift movements and noise. Some were still drinking, bottles and tankards and glasses clutched loosely in hands, faces flushed and expectant, hoping for some action. Bets were undoubtedly being placed. Others, though, had left their drinks. Their hands hovered over holsters or already held blasters, hoping for a fight. Maz pursed her lips. This was not good; not good at all.

Bystanders.

Spectators.

Witnesses.

Collateral damage.

The stand-off continued, neither party yielding, neither moving. Maz knew there was more going on underneath. She could sense the Force bond, alive and humming between them, some unknowable conversation taking place along that connection, thoughts and emotions ebbing and flowing in the Force as life forms continued to stream out of her tavern, eager to see what was going on.

Maz raised her hands and said the one thing that she thought might entice her customers back inside. "Drinks on the house!"

Slowly, in twos and threes, the bystanders wandered back inside as they realized it wasn't very exciting, after all, watching these two Force-users stare at each other in some strange frozen battle of wills. Free drinks were more stimulating.

* * *

Rey didn't notice any of it; she only saw him; only heard him.

 _Let go._

She scoffed. _You let go._

 _You first._

 _Not bloody likely._

 _Your choice. I can do this all day._

 _So can I._

They glared at each other, time stretching on, neither willing to yield. The mask covered his face; she couldn't see his eyes, and it infuriated her. She wanted him to look at her.

 _I am looking at you. Rey, you're all I see._

 _But I can't see you._

He sighed. _Yes you can. In here._

She let herself slip into his mind, behind the mask, behind everything and she saw him, slashing at the console on the bridge, tearing everything apart in desperation and torment and fear and aching loneliness and violence that he would wield single-mindedly to get to her, to find her, to keep her. She let him wash over her, bathe her in his violent, desperate love, let it touch those aching, lonely places inside her that were the same. Oh, he felt so good there, she wanted him there, in her mind…and then the ache moved lower, swirled in the pit of her stomach and throbbed between her legs and made her clench her teeth to keep from whimpering.

 _You found me._

 _I will_ _ **alway**_ _s find you._

Rey was caught off-guard by the statement…the promise, the hint of threat. The absolute certainty. _How?_

 _How does a planet find a sun? I can't resist your pull. I will_ _ **always**_ _find you, and I will always come for you._

She did whimper, then, releasing her hold on the Force, releasing him. He staggered a step or two, and then, Rey felt her mind going blank, felt her body collapse, and, just before oblivion, felt his arms catching her, cradling her.

 _Bastard_ , she managed to shoot across the bond before consciousness slipped away.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

He had put the ship in a hyperspace holding pattern, tracing endless elongated ovals through an empty stretch of space. He had plugged the droid – that annoying little orange and white ball - into the ship to monitor their flight, and he was crouched beside the bunk he had placed her in, helmet and cape and gloves discarded, watching, waiting for her to rouse. A little tendril of hair was curling around her right ear; the freckles on her nose were like a constellation that only he recognized. He had covered her with an emergency blanket – a lightweight cover made of heat-reflective sheeting. Desert child, she got cold easily – he knew that now. The first time, he had left her uncovered, strapped into a chair, and he regretted that; she had probably been cold.

His first sense that she was coming to were the waves of rage rolling off her. Her eyelids fluttered and her eyes opened, took in her surroundings, and blazed with beautiful wrath. She leapt out of the bunk and was suddenly on her feet. She would have been the picture of furious grace had it not been for the blanket, which tangled around her limbs. She stumbled and thrashed a bit as she wrestled it, finally freeing herself, wadding it in a ball and flinging it to the floor.

"Stop kidnapping me!" Her face was contorted in rage.

"You wouldn't listen," he said.

"So you kriffing Force-stun me and abduct me? Really? That's your idea of how to handle this situation? What's wrong with you?"

"You blocked me."

"I was mad! Confused. Hurt."

"You blocked me _completely_ and it was like part of me was gone. Like a vast void opened up in my mind. I couldn't stand it."

She looked small and sad, then. "I know. Me either," she whispered.

"I tried to explain but…you were _gone."_

"So you just decide you can fracking _kidnap_ me?"

"That was one idea, yes."

"What _else_ did you consider?"

"My first idea was to go to the Resistance base, capture my lying, hypocritical _relatives_ , drag them in front of you and make them kneel and grovel and beg your forgiveness."

Her eyes opened wide and she looked around the ship. "You didn't…"

"No. But only because I expect there would have been bloodshed. I knew you would not want that. But know that I would make them grovel, I would make them suffer for hurting you." His voice was low and sinister; Rey shivered.

"They didn't mean to hurt me, they…it was a misunderstanding. Maz helped me see that. They had planned on having me raised by some group that worships the Force, someone they knew on Jakku. Tekkin? Tekla? I don't remember the name, in Tuanul. It was really Unkar Plutt who…"

"Tuanul? Oh, no. You would have been in Tuanul."

She looked confused.

"Tuanul…I was there, looking for…" he gestured toward BB-8, happily humming away in the cockpit. "Lor San Tekka – that's who they were sending you to. I killed him." His voice was flat. "We…the entire village. And you would have been there. And I wouldn't have known. But you weren't. You weren't." He dropped to his knees in front of her, wrapped his arms around her legs, suddenly grateful for his family's negligence. Or maybe it was something deeper; maybe the Force…

"What are you doing? Get up!"

"No. I'm the one who should grovel and beg your forgiveness. I…oh, Rey, you would have been killed there, and it would have been on my order. My mother, my uncle – their thoughtlessness saved you. Why, even when they do bad things, do they work out for good? But _whatever_ I do leads to suffering and misery?"

"That's not true," she said, her hand stroking his hair. "You…when we're together, that's the only time I feel…whole. Safe. Cherished. You take away my misery," she whispered, hands in his hair.

"But I caused so much of it. Rey, I didn't…your parents…it wasn't me. I swear. But the academy, yes. After that…for a long time - I don't even know how long – I was…not in the world. Let me…I will try to explain."

She sank back to the bunk, pulling him with her. "There's nothing to explain," she sighed, shaking her head. "I know you didn't…and even if you did…it changes nothing." She looked into his eyes now, her gaze deep and serious, green and beautiful as a mysterious forest. He saw love there, still, despite everything. He stared at her. Who was this girl, who could wave away the possibility that he had murdered her parents, and still love him?

"I…I don't want anything like that to happen again," she whispered. "I don't want to be caught off-guard. There are…so many things we…pretend don't exist. You don't have to explain, but…I think I need to…know…"

"Rey. There are…things…I'd prefer you not know."

"I want…I _need_ to understand. The Dark side, the things it does. I'm strong enough; I can take it. All of it. Please."

He clenched his jaw. He didn't want to do this, to open himself up, to be vulnerable. He just wanted to take her in his arms, kiss her, caress her, bury himself in her and _show_ her how much he loved her, but she was still too angry, too hurt, so he satisfied himself with delving into her eyes, floating in their depths. For a second, he was a little boy again, looking into his parents' eyes, looking for unconditional love and finding worry, fear, suspicion, disappointment…

He took a long breath, brought himself back to the present, back to Rey's eyes, which held only love, deep and fierce. Love he could grab onto and trust. "Look, then," he whispered. "I want you to know…everything." And his mind was open to her, more than ever, allowing her free access to even his most painful memories, the things they never talked about. He cringed a bit as she probed, until he felt her hand on his. He laced his fingers in hers, grasping, clinging on to her, anchoring himself in her as he felt the chasm that was his mind open up.

* * *

She felt like she was falling, falling down a deep, dark tunnel, and she was afraid. Afraid she _wasn't_ strong enough, that she wouldn't be able to handle what she found there. Then she remembered the lost-little-boy look in his eyes, and she remembered what Maz had said. _You're enough for him._ And she knew that she was.

The first memories were the most recent ones; the confrontation with Hux, the smoking console, his despair and desperation when she had refused to listen, had blocked him. Oh, she felt his anguish, the sense that she had abandoned him…

 _I never would. I never would do that. I would have come back_ , she thought, and she felt how that soothed him.

Then, further back. Han. She flinched. She didn't want to see this again. She saw him - Kylo, Ben - staring into the eyes of the man who had been his father. Saw those eyes, that face replaced, overshadowed by another face, menacing and twisted, urging him on. _The only way to extinguish the light, end the torment, one final act and then the darkness will embrace you, welcome you in, no more guilt, no more pain; you'll see, then, you'll have the clarity you need to complete your training_. The voice scraping and tearing at her mind. She felt his hand shaking on the lightsaber hilt as he made a decision…the wrong decision. Her brain screaming NO as if it would matter now, as if it could make a difference. She was afraid, truly afraid, then, of his darkness. Tears flowed as she felt the ghost of a rough, calloused hand on her cheek, felt apology and forgiveness as the man fell away. Then she saw something he didn't, something he didn't even realize was there – a faint flickering light, barely visible, almost guttering out. Felt the seering pain of the bowcaster, felt him collapse on the bridge. SHe looked up, through his eyes and saw…herself. Crying, shrieking above, and the faint flickering light leapt toward her as he collapsed and screamed in anguish.

More memories flashed across her consciousness – villages burning; Stormtroopers marching in grim, inexorable lines; a group in black, covered and masked in a style similar to his own, fighting, fighting, always fighting in a grim stone chamber as a holographic figure looked on. Pain, punishment when he didn't perform as required, when he showed weakness.

Thenfurther back in time, to a place – a planet, full of an ancient darkness. The voice again, cruel and mocking. _You still have compassion. You let your uncle live, and that child. You let the light tempt you. There must be consequences._ Then nothing but pain, in infinite varieties: mental, physical, Force-induced and not. Hours without sleep, without food, without contact with anyone, then being summoned to the chamber, not knowing what awaited: sometimes he had to fight – with the other knights, with mercenaries, with slaves. Sometimes the chamber was empty except for his master, who seemed to enjoy practicing his Force powers on the boy: Force drain, sapping all his energy until he collapsed to the floor, Force choke, managing to keep him just on the edge of consciousness for hours, a kind of mental torture that made him relieve every bad memory he had ever had, Force lightning, sizzling over his skin so hot it was cold. Sometimes people were brought in…for practice, or for execution. This was the worst.

So that's what he meant by not in the world.

Deeper, deeper she went, to a boy with a crackling light saber, determined to complete a mission, pass a test, and if he did, if did he would find acceptance, approval, belonging. He would find those things in the darkness; that was what his Master had told him. He would be welcomed into the fold, into the brotherhood that was the Knights of Ren, he would win his master's approval, _(Liar,_ she thought, _you didn't give him that you took him somewhere and tortured him!_ ) as he could never, never win his father's approval. The voice, again: _You're not the kind of son your father wanted; he will never understand you; he'd rather grub around with those racers; look, look how he has replaced you with youngsters he approves of. He fears you, fears your power, fears your potential. Do you want to know why? Have they even told you about your heritage? Your legacy? No, of course they haven't. You belong to something greater; you have a destiny. Embrace it._

Belonging. What would she have done, had someone come to her, whispered to her throughout those long, hot, lonely nights on Jakku, and offered her that? When she was just a child, vulnerable, afraid, lonely…if someone offered her everything she ever wanted? The darkness coiled into her mind and found its equivalent.

Deceptive promises whispered over a thousand sleepless nights. Anger and jealousy coiled in Rey's gut. From now on, _she_ would be the only one to whisper promises to him at night; promises that she would _keep_.

She gripped his hand tighter. _You're mine. He can't have you_.

Then she went back further, to the Jedi Academy, and he was standing over her, light saber hissing, frozen, unable to move as he stared at the tiny girl, cringing, crying on the floor. The darkness that had enveloped him receded. He looked at his hands. They were covered in blood, and he was suddenly aware, _aware_ of what he had done, because that stubborn light that remained illuminated it all, and he was horrified. He looked at the little girl, and a wave of compassion washed over him. He grabbed her roughly by the arm and dragged her to a closet, shoved her inside. _Stay hidden. Don't open the door for anyone except L-luke. You'll forget all this tomorrow_. The door slammed.

She saw an adolescent, watching the _Millennium Falcon_ fly away as his uncle patted his shoulder.

She saw a little boy, weeping, clinging to his mother, begging her not to go, not to leave him… _Come back…_ and she gasped. She had said those same words, to the same person. _Please, mother, you don't understand. Please. When you're here it's not dark. Please, please mommy it gets so dark when you go away! Please!_

She pulled herself from his mind. She didn't need to see any more.

He was burying his head against her legs, arms around her waist, clinging to her as he drew in short gasping breaths. "Rey, Rey, Rey," he kept repeating as she stroked her fingers through his hair.

"Shh. I know. I know," she said, and she did. She did know, now, she understood, and she didn't falter. "I love you," she breathed. "I love you, always. I do. You did terrible things. The darkness…I've felt it. It makes it feel so easy. I know. I see what happened. You were alone and afraid, too. But I'm here now. You have me."

"Do I? Even now that you know everything?"

"Yes," she said, sliding off the bunk and onto the floor beside him. "You have me and we will end him."

He looked at her, eyes deep and searching. "What are you saying?"

"You said that together we could do anything. You said I needed a teacher. I'm saying yes." The vision, the two of them, together, on a bridge, flowing black robes. "The Sith way, like you said."

He stared at her, disbelieving. "Even after seeing all that?"

"Especially after seeing all that."

He wrapped his arms around her, then, unable to hold back any longer, one hand on the back of her head, the other on the small of her back, pulling her against his body, crushing her against his chest, his lips attacking hers, hungry and devouring. Oh, his mouth – how could it be so soft and sensual and so hard and demanding at the same time? Her arms went around him, hands gripping his hair, pulling, clinging as he kissed her breath away, all his desperation from earlier singing along the bond and through his lips and floating away as it was replaced by elation _. You mean it? You'll be mine?_

 _Yes._

He finally broke the kiss, still holding her close. "I love you. How I love you. And how I'll cherish you. You'll see. It will be…bliss."

She smiled at him. "So, teach me. Master."

* * *

 **A/N**

So what happens next? Smut, you say? Well, there still needs to be make-up smut. And celebratory smut. So, yeah.

A special thank you to JuliaAurelia for suggesting he might go confront Luke and Leia...hope the way I used that worked. :)

Hope you enjoyed their reunion, with all the angst. They had some things they needed to deal with. As always, nothing makes me happier than reviews, so if you liked, please tell me.


	21. Negotiations

**Commemoration**

* * *

 **A/N**

Intense lemons in this chapter; you've been warned.

* * *

He leaned his head back, closed his eyes, and inhaled, savoring the moment. When he looked at her, his eyes were dark and intense. "Say it again," he growled.

She raised an eyebrow, smirked. "What? Master?"

Hearing her say that _did_ things to him, made a ripple of excitement run along his spine and thrum through his veins like electrified lava. Oh, the things he could teach her –not the way he had been taught, with pain and agony. No, everything she needed to know he would simply let her _take_ , through the bond. She had absorbed so much already – it was no coincidence that her fighting style was remarkably similar to his own. Now, though, with both of them really focused, he knew her Force powers would grow effortlessly. And then there would be sparring, which had always felt like extended foreplay, their bodies keen and humming, breathless and alert, anticipating each other's next move. And the nights – oh, the nights – Rey, in his bed, every night; the thought was almost too exquisite to contemplate.

"I can't wait to show you…oh, so many things. Rey, my love, you will be…invincible. Irresistible. And we, _we_ will be beyond anything the galaxy has ever known." He was drunk with the excitement, the promise of it all, and he was projecting his thoughts, loudly, pulling her along, down a tantalizing path that excited and frightened her. He was punctuating the words and thoughts by placing searing kisses along her shoulder, the curve of her neck, her throat, tasting and biting and sucking.

She placed a hand against his chest and interrupted his (their?) spiraling, exultant thoughts, voice thick with emotions. "Wait. Slow down. I…we're…together. In everything. But you need to know…I don't intend to abandon the light. I don't think I have to. I don't think _you_ have to. I think there can be a…middle way."

"We'll see." She might think that now, but she would eventually see it his way, once she felt it, felt the power that came with embracing the dark.

Her face fell into a familiar stubborn expression. " _I_ decide what's justified, for me."

"Of course." _Oh, but what you'll feel is justified, once you truly taste the dark…_ He looped his fingers in one of her buns and pulled her head back, exposing the soft skin of her throat, kissing, running his tongue from her clavicle up the side of her throat, stopping halfway and nibbling, savoring her soft flesh between his teeth. She hissed, and dropped her head back further.

"I would expect no less, and ask no more," he said. His Rey was strong, sure of herself – all the things he had not been when he began his training with Snoke.

She had her hands in his hair, stroking, pulling, _feeling_. "Don't expect blind obedience from me."

"No. We're more than that." He craved nothing so ordinary as obedience; what he wanted was so far beyond that – for her to want what he wanted before he even knew he wanted it.

She put a hand on either side of his face, looked intently into his eyes. "Listen. This is important; you need to understand. I've been thinking for myself, making my own decisions, since I was six."

He blinked. It was like a revelation. _Six_. When he was six, his mother had decided what he would eat, what he would wear, when he would go to sleep and when he would wake up. When he was ten, his uncle - and the tenets of an ancient philosophy he, even then, questioned – guided his every choice. And always, always underneath it all was Snoke, whispering, countering, deriding, manipulating, controlling until sometimes he didn't even know which thoughts were his own and which had come from his master.

But Rey had been uninfluenced; necessity had been her only master. The idea was tantalizing and terrifying.

She still had her hands on his face, her eyes searching his. "I don't think I could change if I wanted to."

"I don't want you to change." He didn't; he had no desire to twist and warp her; never would she know the sting of a cruel master's disapproval. He simply wanted her to be his, joined in power and mind and body. "You are…so wild and free. I love that about you. I envy it." He sighed. "I think the first time I made a decision that was fully my own was…you." His lips traveled down, to where he could feel her nipple under the thin cloth of her top. He took it in his mouth, biting and sucking through the cloth, pleased with the high whimper it drew from her lips.

"Mmmm. How'd that work out?"

He looked up at her, slid both hands up to cup her breasts and squeezed. "Beautifully."

"Maybe you should do it more often," she sighed, fingertips trailing down his neck, unclasping his cloak and unbuttoning his shirt, hands roaming over his chest.

He nodded. "Know this. I will never ask anything of you that you don't want. But please, say it again."

She smiled, leaned in so her lips brushed his cheek. "Master," she whispered, breath hot against his face.

Scorching desire ran through his body, caused a shudder to start at the base of his spine and spread out, settling in his groin. He felt himself getting hard, arousal building quickly, until it was almost painful.

He looked at her, as if she were the rarest of treasures. "Mine," he whispered, tracing a finger along her hairline, her cheek, her lips _. My apprentice. My beautiful, powerful, love._

He leaned over her, pushing her shoulders back, pinning her to the bunk, kissing her hard, every thought except how wonderful her mouth felt shoved violently out of his mind.

"Kylo, wait," she said suddenly, turning her head away, to his great disappointment. "BB-8." She inclined her head toward the droid in the cockpit.

He froze. "Oh. Right." He waved a hand, Force-slamming the door that separated the cockpit from the crew quarters. Then he turned back to her and attacked her clothing. He had her gauzy overwraps off and her shirt over her head in a single swift movement, her pants around her ankles in another, and then he was trailing his tongue down between her breasts, over her navel, whispering as he went. "Before, when you blocked me, when you left…when I thought I had lost you, it destroyed me. And now you've given me…everything. Do you know how I love you?"

* * *

Heat raced through Rey's veins. She knew. He did not love gently; he loved desperately, greedily, violently. And she adored it; it made her heart pound and wetness drip between her thighs.

"Show me," she whispered.

He growled against her skin, reached down and grabbed her thighs and shoved them apart, and knelt between her legs. He grabbed her ankle, encircling it with his large hand, raised her leg in the air and pressed a kiss against it, sucking and biting. "This is mine," he said. Then he kissed her calf. "And this." He lifted her ankle, straightening her leg, leaned down and kissed the soft underside of her knee. "This is mine," his mouth moved up her leg, kissing, nipping along the soft pale flesh of her inner thigh. He bit down, making her squeal. "Mine," he said, moving a little higher up. He traced kisses up her thigh, leaving a trail of bite-bruises, marking her, until he reached the place her leg joined her hip. He inhaled, leaned in and licked, running his tongue from her entrance to her clit, savoring the taste of her, of what he could do to her. He looked up at her, eyes dark and gleaming. "And this, this especially is mine."

She moaned, and felt a new rush of wetness. He dove back down, his tongue flicking over her clit, then moving lower, delving right inside her. She arched up off the mattress and uttered a strangled gasp. _Mine,_ he projected, then moved his tongue back to her clit and plunged two fingers inside her, pumping his hand in time with the movements of his tongue while she writhed and whimpered. She was just on the edge when he stopped.

"Wh-why?"

He was on his knees, towering over her. "Not yet," he said, unbuckling his pants. "Together." He didn't bother undressing all the way, just grabbed her hips and yanked her toward him and plunged inside, pounding against her, his fingers rubbing against her clit. "This," he said, grunting, "mine. Mine."

When she came, it was violent and all-encompassing, starting like liquid heat inside and spreading outward, the muscles in her legs contracting and then releasing like the ones inside her that gripped his cock, tremors traveling to her toes and fingertips, a wave of energy sending things flying across the ship as he came too, his face contorted in a look that could have passed for rage but that she knew was something so sublime it went beyond pleasure. His moan turned to a shout, uncontrollable and feral, and she felt the power she had over him, what she could do to him, and she slammed her head against the bunk, slid her hands under his shirt and dragged her nails down his back as she felt herself clench again, rocked by a second orgasm that was even stronger than the first.

* * *

They were tangled together in the emergency blanket. Her head was on his chest, her leg twined over his, his arms around her. She felt boneless and warm and sleepy.

"Rey?" He said.

"Hmm?" Her voice was soft and drowsy.

"You're…this isn't just because you're upset with my…with them, is it?" Doubt crept into his voice, crowding out the earlier confidence.

She raised her head, propped her chin on his chest so she could look him in the eyes. "No. I had already decided. That's…that's why I went to talk to them in the first place. I was going to tell them I was…leaving." She hid the fact that she had intended to tell them everything.

"Truly?" She felt his elation again.

She nodded against his chest. "Mmm-hmmm. So," she smiled, "How do we do this?"

"I'm…not actually sure. I never thought you would say yes."

She laughed softly. "Well, I did, so now we need a plan."

* * *

 **A/N**

I finally updated! Sorry for the delay!

Hope you enjoyed this reunion/celebration/negotiation; I didn't get to the plan this chapter because, well, they just wanted to get busy.

Thanks to everyone who has faved, followed, and reviewed. Reviews are life and love and motivation, so if you liked, please review!


	22. Preparations

**Preparations**

* * *

"So, what's the procedure?"

He looked at her. "For what?"

"For, you know, taking me in. I was sort of unconscious last time."

"Taking you in?"

"To your ship?"

"I…wait. When did we decide that's what was going to happen?"

"Well, it's not the ideal plan, but after that stunt you pulled on Takodana, I think the element of surprise has been lost. You have spies, we have spies…"

He sighed. He was fiddling with her hair, his fingers untying the string that held the bottom loop. "I…yes. That is true."

She bit her lip. Something was wrong. She could feel waves of anxiety rolling off him; walls of resistance were going up; he was backing away from the idea as fast as he could. Maybe…perhaps she had misunderstood. Thought what he was offering was more than it was, Maybe she had pushed too far. Maybe he didn't want her to go with him. She rolled over, sat up. "What's wrong? I thought…I didn't mean to assume…"

He sat up, too, put a hand on her chin and turned her face toward his. "Oh, Rey. No. I do want you with me. Always. It's just…"

"What?"

"We'll only get one chance," he said, voice low, fingers once again finding their way to her hair.

She looked up, her eyes searching his face. She felt his fear, cold and clammy. "What do you mean?"

He swallowed. "He rarely lets anyone see him in person." She didn't have to ask who 'he' was. "Most of our interactions are via hologram. But…" he paused. "He will want me to bring you to him. Physically. That will be the only opportunity."

She nodded. They were talking around things, not really mentioning what it was they were going to try to do. But there was something more, she sensed it. "Something else is bothering you," she said. "What?"

"One of my orders, since before you escaped on Starkiller, has been to bring you to him. The implication was that you would be valuable to the Order, that you could be turned." He untied the next loop of hair.

"But?"

"That was never his intention. I fooled myself at first, but…no. He knew, sensed, even then that I had…that I felt something for you. Compassion, he said. Weakness. And he intended to remedy that. Either by having us fight and keeping the victor, or by killing you. Or…" Her hair was loose, now, and he was combing his fingers through it in long soothing strokes. "Or by making me kill you."

She bit her lip. Conflicting emotions ran through her. Terror, mirroring his own. Doubt, that they could prevail. Disgust, at what Snoke would have done, to her, to him, because he had dared to have a soft feeling. And a strange warmth, that he had had that soft feeling for her, even then, even when he was so clearly the enemy, and she was no one.

"You were _never_ no one," he whispered, hands still flowing through her hair.

She wrapped her arms around him, holding him as tightly as she could, and he tightened his arms around her, until there wasn't an atom of air between them. And she felt strong, then, strong and sure. "There's nothing to worry about. We have something he doesn't; something he can't even conceive of, and it's so much stronger than he will _ever_ be." She held out a hand, touching her fingertips to his, sending a jolt of electricity from her hand to his, pulling it away and watching in fascination as silvery-purple sparks danced between their fingers. She finally broke the connection, then stretched up and kissed him; a long, intense kiss that spoke of something deeper than desire.

When she pulled away, she stood up, gathering and putting on her clothes with businesslike efficiency. She remembered, when she was little, she had discovered that the best thing to do when she was afraid was to just get on with it. Action pushed away fear.

"So, the procedure. For taking in your _prisoner_." She managed a wobbly smile.

"Well. We'll rendezvous with the Finalizer…which we should do soon. I've been away too long already. But…you won't be taken in as a regular prisoner this time. I won't have you subjected to that."

"I can handle myself."

"I know. But I can't handle it. The thought of you in stun binders, being handled roughly, pushed and shoved…knowing that you're on the same ship, but locked in a cell. No." His tone was grim. "I could not tolerate that. As far as anyone is concerned, you'll be my personal prisoner. You'll stay with me. At all times No one will dare interfere."

This, she was sure, was true. "Are you sure that's a good idea? It seems a bit…insubordinate."

He nodded. "It is."

"But…what about…won't _he_ be angry?"

"Yes. But I can manage it. Buy us some time. He'll want to maintain the illusion that he intends to train you, use you. I can convince him to let me try to turn you, to bring you to our side. He'll want me to stumble, to show weakness toward you so the…lesson…will be all the more powerful."

She shivered.

He continued. "And we can use that time to train, to prepare."

She nodded. That made sense.

"In fact, there's something we should work on now."

"Now?"

"Before we reach the ship." He took a cue from her activity and headed for the cockpit to set a course for the Finalizer. "Umm, what about him?" He indicated BB-8.

The little droid beeped inquisitively.

Rey knelt beside him. "No, you can't go with me." She looked up. "Do you have escape pods?"

"Of course. Four of them, two forward and two aft." He pointed, indicating their locations.

"Then we can put him in one of those. Send him home."

"That won't seem suspicious at all, having a First Order escape pod show up at the Resistance base."

"Well, we'll send him back to Takodana. Maz will get him home."

"But won't she be suspicious…"

"She already knows."

His eyes widened.

Rey smiled. "I didn't tell her. She sensed it through the Force. She knows. And approves."

He just blinked. He remembered Maz, from another time, another life. Travelling with…in the Millennium Falcon. A small boy, intimidated by the noise and activity and all the life forms around him. A bit freaked out by all the stray thoughts he picked up. Searching for his father's hand and not finding it. Maz's eyes, kind and wise, noticing him. Seeing him. She had always given him a ball of chewstim, with a wink and the admonishment, 'don't tell your mother'. He had liked to lick the sweet, powdery coating off before he popped the whole sticky pink glob in his mouth. He could still taste it; sweet enough to melt your teeth and hard enough to break them off until you gave it a few good chews, then it mellowed to a perfect fruity-minty-spicy taste, then suddenly it was like chewing on a tire, but it had always left him feeling all bouncy and happy.

Maz Kanata knew. About them. And she approved. The galaxy shifted a bit with this knowledge.

"Come on, then," Rey was saying, waving BB-8 toward her, heading for the aft escape pods while Kylo took them out of hyperspace holding and programmed the next jump.

In the aft corridor, Rey knelt in front of BB-8 and engaged his holorecorder. She looked directly at him and recorded a message. "Master Luke. General Organa. I'm…I'm okay. And I'm not upset with you anymore…well, not much. I know you didn't mean for things to happen like they did. But I…I have to do something. I was going to tell you…I was going to tell you everything. But I don't think I really need to. I think, if you really think about it…search your feelings, as you say, Master Luke…you'll know. But just…just know that you haven't lost me. I'll be back. I promise."

She stood up. "Be sure they get this message."

BB-8 beeped indignantly - as if he would forget to deliver a message!

She laughed. "I know, I know I can count on you. That's why I'm trusting you with this."

His boop was almost like a purr under the praise.

She reached out, patted him. "Thank you. Now, remember, tell Maz to get you back to the Resistance base right away."

BB-8 beeped and booped at her.

"Aww, thank you. You too, little friend," Rey said, helping the droid into the escape pod, programming it for Takodana, launching it and returning to the front of the ship.

"So, you said we need to work on something now."

He nodded. "Mental defenses. He'll insist I bring you to the audience chamber right away. He isn't as powerful there, but he'll still _look_ …you're very good at it already. But you'll have to be better. I've had years to learn to hide things from him. You have to be able to do the same."

She nodded. There were so many things to hide. Their mutinous intentions. The Force Bond. Their love. "So he'll try to get into my head, like you did?"

"Sort of. But…I really was being gentle with you, and even my worst is not as bad as his." Memories flickered across the bond, of pain and fear, that horrible feeling that something was scraping at the inside of his skull. "And…you can't just kick him out. You have to let him in and still hide things."

She bit her lip. She didn't want Snoke in her head. At all. But it made sense…if she tried to keep him out entirely, he would be suspicious – and if she succeeded, he would know how strong she was. "Okay, show me."

He sat in the pilot's seat; she settled into the copilot's spot. He angled toward her, took her hands, and, through the bond, showed her how to construct mental barriers that were not only solid but invisible.

"Okay," she said. "Now...look."

He took a deep breath, held out a hand toward her in a familiar gesture. She was still, placid, unresisting. She felt his presence…outside the bond, as if he were stranger. It wasn't pleasant. She gritted her teeth, trying to maintain the invisible but essential barriers, as he had done. Her head hurt, there was a throbbing pressure behind her eyeballs, a pulling, a squeezing. She screwed her eyes shut, but a tear escaped anyway.

Then it stopped.

"I can't. I can't hurt you," he said.

She took a few shuddering breaths, drew her eyebrows together. "I…I think you have to. I think you have to hurt me now to protect me later," she said, voice soft and trembling.

He shook his head. "No."

"Yes. I have to be able to do this."

He sighed. The he pulled her to him, into his lap in the pilot's seat. "Okay. But at least let me hold you."

She nodded against his chest. "Yes, please," she whispered.

He wrapped her in his arms, put a hand close to her face and the pressure was back; it turned into an ache, then a pulsing, searing pain. Tears streamed down her cheeks. This was nothing like what he had done before; this was an invasion; a violation…or it would have been, if they hadn't just been practicing. She felt him start to pull away.

 _No! Don't you dare back off!_ She thought. _I have to know I'm strong enough._

He continued, poking and prodding at her defenses, searching for her secrets…his secrets. It was worse now, the pain, like a spike being driven through her eyeball and into her skull. She clutched his robes, digging her fingers into them, burying her head against his chest, sobbing in earnest now, but still, still maintaining control. Keeping the invisible walls up.

Then it was over, and he was holding her so tightly against his chest, stroking her hair and whispering soft, soothing sounds. "Shhh, shhh. It's alright. Hold on to me."

And she did; she clung to him, hands trembling, face wet with tears that soaked into his robe. "Is that…is that what you could have done to me? On Starkiller?"

"Yes." His voice was raw and hoarse. "What I was supposed to do. But I couldn't. I couldn't."

She noticed, then, that he was trembling, too, and when she looked up to meet his dark eyes, they were red and glistening. "So, how did I do?"

"You were perfect," he said, hands smoothing her hair.

"Good. Let's try again," she said.

"But…"

"I wasn't perfect. And you said…you said what he can do is worse. So. Again."

They practiced until the computer dinged, notifying them that they would be exiting hyperspace momentarily. And by that time, her ability was indeed perfect.

* * *

 **A/N**

Chewstim: Stimulant bubble gum? Yummy! Why don't we have that? Maz's place looked like the sort of place Han would have frequented, she obviously knows him well enough, and why wouldn't he have taken his kid along sometimes? And the gum thing? Based on my own memory of the old guy that ran the gas station near where I grew up, who always gave me a piece of that old-fashioned bubble gum that was hard as a rock and super-sweet when my mom stopped there for gas and a Coke in a glass bottle. That was before I was 5 years old and I still remember his name: Rich Page. Weird what sticks with you.

This chapter just resisted being written, but here it is. Next stop, the _Finalizer_.

As always, reviews are much, much appreciated!


	23. Arrival

**Arrival**

* * *

 _Stop looking around like a kid on Coruscant. You're supposed to be a captive._

They had decided it would be best if they didn't speak aloud to each other once they were on the ship. They had to appear as captor and captive.

 _Alright, alright._ She lowered her eyes, slumped her shoulders. Her hands were bound in front of her, but the binders weren't locked or activated. _It's just that…I've never seen one of these in airworthy condition. It's…magnificant._

She was thinking about portions, he realized, mentally calculating what each component of the ship was worth. TIE fighters, tool pallets, hydrospanners, maintenance droids, spare lifters, fuses, couplings, light bulbs, cabling…all reduced to how many portions they would be worth, how many days those portions would stave off starvation. He gritted his teeth at the reminder of her suffering; suffering of his making. Never again. Never again would she feel deprivation. If they succeeded…no, _when_ they succeeded she would have everything.

 _It is magnificent, isn't it?_ He paused. _I'll give it to you. As a gift._

Her eyes widened _. I…wha…you can't **give** me a Star Destroyer._

 _Not yet._

She gulped.

 _I'll rename it for you, too. I like the sound of 'Empress Rey'._

 _Oh, Force no! That's…no. Just no._ She shot him a sideways glance.

He would, though. He would give her the galaxy on a silver platter if she wanted it. _This way._ He had his hand on her upper arm in what looked like a forceful grip, but really wasn't. They had considered several alternatives…take her in as a prisoner, as a defector…and had decided prisoner was the most believable and would give them the most time.

They turned down a corridor, right into a squad of Stormtroopers. The troopers immediately parted, like river water rippling around a stone, leaving a wide path for Kylo Ren and his prisoner.

* * *

Rey blinked. Throughout the ship, it was the same. Stormtroopers, officers, maintenance techs, pilots…all had given them a wide berth, scurrying out of the way, careful not to make eye contact, posture cautiously deferential. As they passed through the corridors of the ship, she felt it: there was fear, but also respect. Awe, even. Unkar Plutt had inspired fear, ruling with brute strength and tight control of the food supply, but he had never inspired this sort of reverent dread. Only contempt.

A set of doors swished open, and they were on the bridge…the exact one from the vision. She sucked in a breath, partly in surprise at seeing it, precisely the same as in her mind, and partly at the memory of that vision…his hands sliding inside her robes, bending her over the console…

She squeezed her eyes shut to clear the image away. When she opened them, she focused not on the scene, but the people: Technicians working at computer terminals, junior officers rushing to and fro, senior officers issuing orders or studying diagrams and charts. They all tensed when Kylo Ren entered the bridge. Eyes were averted, focused more intently on screens; fingers flew across datapads more conspicuously; conversations ceased, the hum of voices dwindling out…anxiety rippled across the bridge. Each person strained to appear focused on duty alone, but mentally, all their attention was on him.

So this was what it felt like to be powerful.

Kylo stopped in front of the officer who seemed to be in command, a prim, pressed man with pale skin and red hair. "General." He said.

So this was the General Hux that had been unknowingly covering for them for so long "Ren. I see you have been busy." The general raised his eyebrows.

"Yes. As you can see, I have captured the scavenger."

The general turned to look at her. She composed her face in what she hoped was an appropriately frightened yet defiant expression.

"Indeed. I had reports from Takodana, but I didn't believe them at first. How did this come about?"

"I sensed that she was there. And now, she is here." It was obvious that the general wanted him to elaborate. He didn't. "I'll be reporting to the Supreme Leader shortly. As soon as I have the prisoner secured."

The general nodded. "I can have my men take her from here…"

"No. She will be confined to my quarters, in my custody alone."

The general's eyebrows shot up into his hairline. "That is not standard procedure!"

"And what is standard procedure for containing a Jedi enemy combatant?"

The general turned red, sputtered a bit. "Well, well...we do not have one. Until recently, it was our belief that all the Jedi had been eliminated."

Kylo took a step closer to the general. "If you think I have neglected my duty, please take it up with the Supreme Leader. I'm sure he'll be glad to hear your concerns…right after I inform him of my acquisition."

Hux's nostrils flared. "I still feel standard prisoner intake protocols should be followed."

"Oh. You mean the protocols that were used last time, when she escaped and helped the Resistance blow up Starkiller Base?"

Hux fidgeted. "There are rules! You cannot just keep a prisoner in your quarters!"

"On the contrary. I am the only person on this ship who has any chance of containing her. She will remain in my direct custody until I have further orders from the Supreme Leader. I did not come here to ask your permission, General. I only informed you as a courtesy." And with that, he turned on his heel and stomped off the bridge, pulling Rey along with him, leading her to his quarters.

She turned to him the minute the doors closed and simply said "Take it off."

He was still wearing the mask, and, knowing she disliked it, had removed that.

"More." She wasn't sure what had gotten into her, but she had to have him, right then. He felt it, she knew he did. He hadn't even touched her yet and she was wetter than she had ever been. She was almost embarrassed, but whatever had taken hold of her didn't care. Her body was in charge, and it had needs that would be fulfilled. He did as she ordered, a half-smile on his lips, removing the robes, the tunic, the arm bands, all while she circled around, taking in his quarters vaguely, and watching him, like a stalking predator. When he had stripped to his shirt and trousers, she stopped, stood in front of him and advanced on him, dropping her own garments on the way, backing him against a wall.

She smiled at him, a wicked smile full of all sorts of promises, and dropped to her knees in front of him, unbuttoning his trousers and pushing them down.

"Rey, what…"

"Shhh. I know what you need…Master."

That was all it took. He was helpless before her, head thrown back against the wall, hands pulling at her hair as she stroked him. She felt him get even harder in her hand, then, leaning in, she ran her tongue from the base of his cock to the tip. He groaned as she slid her mouth over him, taking him in as far as she could, keeping her hand around him, against her lips, to intensify the sensation and make it feel like she was taking all of him into her mouth. He was thrusting into her mouth, clutching her hair on each side of her head, grunting and moaning, all sense of control gone. She was feeding off his need, his desire, letting it flow through her, too, mixing with the strange, insistent craving that had taken hold of her.

When she knew he couldn't hold out any longer, she pulled away, her lips making a smacking sound as she gave him one last, long suck before she stood up.

"Take me to your bed," she whispered, voice low.

He started to lead her to the other room.

"No." She was looking into his eyes, into his soul. "Carry me. The way you did before. Take me to your bed. And _take me."_

She thought he might have whimpered, but he didn't hesitate. He swept her up in his arms, cradling her against his chest and carrying her to his bed.

"I've wanted to do this for over a year," he said.

She looked up at him with a hint of a smile. "I know."

It didn't last long, but it didn't have to. They were both quivering on the edge already and it only took a few thrusts and they were both there, combusting together in a sudden white-hot explosion that left them panting and trembling.

"That was…unexpected." He said.

She tucked her head against his shoulder, hiding the blush that crept over her cheeks. "I know. It's just…" she trailed off. It wasn't like he was complaining. In fact, she sensed, besides the obvious satisfaction, a bit of pride coming from him. He liked that she hadn't been able to control herself. But she was feeling oddly shy. "It's just...you want to give me a Star Destroyer." She said, voice soft. The explanation felt inadequate; she didn't crave material possessions. It was so much more than that.

He kissed her temple. "I want to give you the stars." He squeezed her against his chest, then loosened his grip. "I have to go…report." He said, anxiety rising again. "I should be eager to share the good news of your capture with the Supreme Leader."

She nodded, watched him dress. As each piece of clothing went on, he was less simply _hers_ and more Kylo Ren. Finally, he reached for the helmet, but he stopped before he put it on, leaned down and kissed her lips, gently, almost reverently, before turning, placing the helmet on his head and leaving.

* * *

 **A/N**

Powerful Kylo is difficult...no, impossible to resist.

Next chapter, a meeting with Snoke. Will they fool him? Will the plan work? Has Kylo already hired space sign-painters to change the name of the _Finalizer_ to _Empress Rey?_

Thanks so much for reading, faving, following and especially reviewing! Reviews motivate me and make me happy in a way nothing else does. :)


	24. Conversation

**Conversation**

BB-8 didn't register the escape pod's rough landing as painful. He simply calculated the g-forces, which were within normal parameters, ran a series of diagnostics, and was pleased to conclude that none of his circuitry was damaged on impact. A quick interface with the escape pod's simplistic circuitry opened the hatch, and he rolled out and across the forest floor toward Maz Kanata's castle. He had a mission.

When he got there, he located the tiny humanoid and headed toward her, swerving and curving to avoid the tangle of legs in the tavern. He bumped against her and unleashed a series of beeps.

"Peace, little one. Slow down." Maz understood binary, but not when it was being flung at her at thrice the normal speed.

BB-8 tried again, slower and more careful this time.

Maz listened intently, nodding. "So, you need me to get you back to the Resistance. And you have an important message to deliver to the Skywalker twins." Maz was thoughtful for a moment, intent and distant. Then she gave her hands a sharp clap and said, "So do I. I've kept my council for almost thirty years. I think it's time I spoke my mind to those two. Let's go."

BB-8 led the way to the X-Wing Rey had flown to Takodana. Maz looked over the bird, whistled. "You know, little fellow, it's been five decades since I flew an X-Wing, and it was primitive compared to this one." The old pirate's mouth spread in a wide grin. "We're going to have some fun," she said to BB-8, as she climbed into the cockpit.

* * *

It was a long walk to the audience chamber. He was glad. It would give him time to organize his thoughts, get a handle on his emotions. He was glad to have the mask to hide behind; he knew his face would betray him.

He rarely went to the chamber unless summoned; it was the nature of the relationship, and besides, the less time spent in Snoke's presence, the better. But a victory like finally 'capturing' Rey; he would be expected to report on it right away.

Too soon, he found himself standing in front of the large doors. As he raised his hand to press the comm and request an audience, the doors swung open to reveal Snoke's hologram. The Supreme Leader had sensed his presence; he hoped that was all he had sensed. He was always careful, so careful to guard any thoughts of Rey…but now he _had_ to think about her, talk about her. It would be more difficult to reveal and conceal at the same time. He approached the hologram, dropped to his knees, head bowed subserviently.

"My apprentice," Snoke said. "You have news."

It wasn't unusual for Snoke to sense things, but it still put Kylo on edge. "Yes, Supreme Leader. I have captured the scavenger."

"Indeeeeed?" Snoke's voice was a low hum; he sounded almost pleased. "And where is she?" The hologram head swiveled, looked around the chamber.

"I have her secured. I wanted to inform you. I await your guidance on how to proceed."

Snoke was quiet, pondering, brooding. "Look at me, apprentice."

Kylo looked up; he felt Snoke's eyes boring into him, searching behind the mask, behind his eyes. It was only a minor intrusion. "I see that you were eager to share your accomplishment with me. Good. Good. You have done well. Tell me, in your opinion, what should be done with her?"

Kylo swallowed. He had to tread carefully here. "With your permission and guidance, I think I can persuade her to join us."

"Indeed. What makes you think that?"

"She has had a falling out with Skywalker. She is distraught. Angry. Vulnerable." It felt like a violation to tell Snoke these things, but the more honest he could be, the more likely he would be to conceal the more dangerous truths.

"Ah." Snoke steepled his fingers. "Perhaps. But I would like to see for myself. Bring her."

Kylo bowed his head, keeping a tight rein and the fear coiling in his stomach. It was the order he had expected, but it still filled him with cold dread. He didn't think Snoke could kill her from afar, didn't think he would, but he wasn't completely certain. The one thing he _was_ certain of was that he wouldn't let him, even if he had to expose himself and ruin the plan. If that happened, their only recourse would be to flee, as far and as fast as possible, and keep moving. It wouldn't be much of a life, but at least they would be alive and together. And if he could only save one of them…she could steal a TIE fighter. They were fast enough that she would have a good chance to escape.

"Yes, Supreme Leader," he said, dipping his head before rising to leave.

"One more thing. Where exactly do you have her 'secured'?"

He stopped, turned. "In my quarters. After her previous escape, I felt it…prudent…to keep her in my direct custody." He clenched his hands into fists, feeling his knuckles move under the leather of his gloves.

"Prudent." Snoke narrowed his eyes. "I see. Go. Fetch her."

* * *

Rey rolled out of the bed, wrapping a sheet around herself. She stood, padding around the rooms in her bare feet. It was strange; the rooms felt both alien and familiar. The bedroom was small, with only the bed - nicer than a standard bunk but far from luxurious – a small table and some built in storage units. Through a door, she found the 'fresher, and went in, taking the opportunity to relieve herself and clean up a bit. Back through the bedroom, she wandered into the main living area. It was bleak, spartan. There were two large black leather chairs, a low table. The walls were shades of black and dark grey, some concealing consoles and computers, red lights glowing softly. Across the room was a smaller chamber. It was dimly lit and empty save for a single chair, and a low urn of some sort. In the urn were what looked like ashes. There was something sinister about it. She didn't care for the feel of that; not at all. Beside the urn was a triangular column. On the column sat what she immediately recognized as the remains of Darth Vader's mask.

"You." She said. "I know all about you. I know what you became, and why; but I also know who you were in the beginning. And the end. And if you could come back, I know he can. I know it. I just have to hold on. To him. To me."

As always, the mask was silent.

"And he was wrong. He is as strong as you. Stronger. He just doesn't know it." Her face shifted, grew grim. Her eyes narrowed. She crossed her arms over her chest, lifted her chin. "And so am I."

She left the alcove and was walking around the edge of the main room when she felt it; a wave of fear, not her own. It grew, bleak and dark, and she sank into one of the black leather chairs, clutching the sheet tighter around her body. The bond was closed, carefully concealed, but the fear leaked through. Her mouth was dry, her stomach tight, adrenaline pumped through her veins and made her blood feel like ice.

* * *

When he walked through the doors, she was sitting in the chair, fully dressed, hair in three neat rolls, face calm.

He removed the helmet, spoke, his voice catching. "He said…I have to bring you…"

She nodded. "I know." She stood up. "Let's go."

"Rey." He was still for a moment. "If anything goes wrong, we run. If I can't run, you…"

"Stop. It won't go wrong. You said he's not as powerful from a distance; that he'll want to see me in person…"

"That's what I _think_. I can't be sure. He sensed something. I could feel it."

"It'll be okay. We stick to the plan. Remember? Reveal to conceal. Just enough."

He was panicking, his breathing shallow. "Right. But if we have miscalculated? Run. Steal a TIE fighter and go. As fast and as far…"

"Not without you."

"Yes. If you have to."

"No!"

"Promise me. If I say go, you'll go. Please. We don't have time to argue." He was pleading with her with his eyes, those big, dark eyes, so full of everything he felt, all his love for her, so deep and intense, pouring into her. It was irresistible.

"Okay. Yes. But only if there's no other way. And you have to promise not to do anything impulsive. Stay the course; keep it steady…"

He nodded.

"This will work. We just have to control our thoughts and emotions. We can do this." She stepped closer, pressed against his chest, slid her arms around his waist. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders, holding her tightly.

"We can do this," he repeated, calming, steadying himself against her.

* * *

 _"Master Luke. General Organa. I'm…I'm okay. And I'm not upset with you anymore…well, not much. I know you didn't mean for things to happen like they did. But I…I have to do something. I was going to tell you…I was going to tell you everything. But I don't think I really need to. I think, if you really think about it…search your feelings, as you say, Master Luke…you'll know. But just…just know that you haven't lost me. I'll be back. I promise."_ Rey's voice was so sincere, her eyes so earnest and pleading.

Luke and Leia looked at each other, then at BB-8, then at Maz, who was sitting across the table from them.

"Where is she, then?" Leia asked.

"Where she needs to be," Maz said.

"So she's safe?" Luke asked.

Maz licked her lips, tilted her head. "Safe is relative, but she's with someone who loves her, and that's as close to safe as any of us can get."

Leia sighed. "Maz, stop talking in riddles. Where is she? What's this thing she has to do?"

Maz removed her goggles and rubbed a wrinkled hand over her face. "For Force-sensitives, sometimes you two are remarkably dense."

Leia's mouth dropped open; Luke blinked rapidly.

"Don't gape at me like a couple of fish. Do what the girl said; search your feelings. And you will know."

They looked at each other. Went over the events of the past two days. _I have to do something…you'll know…_

 _And I think, well…honesty is the best policy. Secrets only lead to trouble. And so…._

Leia gasped. "She was going to tell us something. And instead of listening, we told her…something horrible."

 _Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP! No Skywalkers get to talk me! None! Not any! Not now! Do you understand? I don't want to hear it! I don't want to hear anything from you! Not another word!_

 _There is another Skywalker…_

"Like she wasn't talking to us…" Luke said. "…because she wasn't."

Warm, earthy brown eyes met crystalline, ethereal blue ones.

"Oh…"Luke started.

…shit." Leia finished. She stood up, already planning the rescue mission in her mind…Threepio would have a most recent location, at least, for the First Order; it would have to be small, just one squadron of X-Wings and…

Maz put a hand on her arm. "Sit," Maz said, and her voice was so gentle, yet so compelling, General Leia Organa sat. "What are you doing?"

"We…we have to rescue her…" Leia's voice trailed off.

Maz looked deep into Leia's eyes, gave a sad smile. "Dear girl. Rey doesn't need a rescue mission. She _is_ the rescue mission."

The twins frowned, confusion spreading across their faces. "But…"Luke started.

"How?" Leia said.

"Have you ever heard of a Force Bond?"

Luke nodded yes, but looked uncertain; Leia shook her head no.

Maz sighed. "Get comfortable. BB-8, have your tall gold friend bring us some caf. This is going to take a while." After a pause, she added, "And some whiskey. I think they're going to need it. Now. I've held my piece for nearly three decades because I thought it was none of my business. But I know the Force, and it wants me to speak. So speak I will."

Once Threepio had delivered the drinks (Luke and Leia declining the excellent Corellian whiskey, Maz taking 'a drop'), Maz took a long breath, reached for guidance from the Force, and began to explain.

As the implications of what Maz was saying sank in, Leia reached for the whiskey bottle and splashed more than a drop into her caf.

"Since Starkiller?" She asked in disbelief.

Maz nodded.

"But…" Luke began.

"But nothing. Luke Skywalker. The last Jedi. You have such power, such light; it's so beautiful. But dear boy, you were barely trained." She shook her head as he started to protest. "Not your fault, but true nonetheless. Leia and Han turned to you when they realized their boy was being lured to the Dark Side, but my dear, you had no idea what you were up against. You really don't know the power of the Dark Side. You think you do, but believe me. You do not. I don't know exactly who this Snoke is, where he came from, how he arose, but I do know his training, his knowledge of the Force, of the Dark Side, is extensive and deep. I admire your efforts at bringing the Jedi back; I still think that is an admiral goal, because the Force needs the light side to combat the dark. But for Ben, I'm afraid you simply weren't enough."

Luke reached for the whiskey and added a healthy splash to his caf.

Maz turned to Leia, then. "Leia, General, Princess," Leia cringed at her title, but Maz nodded firmly, clasped Leia's hand, and continued, "Yes, Princess. I'm so sorry about Han. I know you're still grieving. I know you feel guilt. Don't. Han did what he thought was right; what he thought he needed to do, to try one last time to make up for letting his son down, for letting you down. It was the right thing. It just wasn't enough. Oh, Leia, dear girl, all you have been through…no one deserves it. And you have been so strong, done so much for the galaxy. But my child, calling in an air strike isn't always the answer. You had a little boy that needed you; I _saw_ him, with Han. A sweet, scared, needy child. It was clear something was wrong; I know you saw it, and I know your solution was to send him to Luke, but that wasn't what he needed. He needed you. And Han. But Han feared the Force, and you, dear, well, you were so focused on saving the galaxy that you lost your child, and even now, you have no idea how to save him. But someone does."

"Rey?" Leia whispered.

Maz nodded, smiled. "I don't know how, or why, but she has managed to be what none of you could be for him. _Enough_."

* * *

 **A/N**

So, Maz finally got to give them a good talking to. I decided there was no need to have her explain Force Bonds…or tell Luke about the birds and bees…in this story. J

Maz can fly an X-Wing? Why not? She used to be a pirate; I bet she can fly a lot of ships. And I just like the idea of this little old lady piloting that thing like a badass. I know several sweet, grandmotherly ladies who are also excellent pilots, and I just love the reactions they get when they swing out of the cockpit.

Thank you for reading; I know, no sexy times in this one, but there will be next time. And as always, reviews are love!


	25. Encounter

**Encounter**

* * *

Rey had felt fear plenty of times.

When she was eight, and had broken the rotor Unkar Plutt had given her to clean, and he had backhanded her so hard it knocked her off the stool she was sitting on.

When she was ten and, on one of her first forays alone, she had gotten lost among the dunes and had to spend a terrifying night hiding inside an old A-Wing while a steelpecker hammered at the hull.

When she was twelve and her rappelling rope had broken while she was climbing down the side of a maintenance shaft in a Star Destroyer, and she had fallen 3 meters down, landing on her stomach, knocking the breath from her lungs so hard that she thought she would never be able to suck in air again.

Her childhood had been a symphony of fear, so much so that she learned to ignore it most of the time. That fear was nothing like what she felt now. The feeling had started as soon as they stepped off the lift and headed toward the chamber – like the tendrils of some dark vine coiling around her wrists and ankles. With each step forward, it had intensified, burrowing under her skin and into her veins, making them tingle, as if her very blood were electrified. Now, with the doors in sight, it was so intense, walking through it felt like walking through sand. They continued down the corridor, closer to the vast double doors that led into the audience chamber, toward a presence that, even from here, she could feel, cold and dark and ancient and _waiting_.

 _Wh-what is that?_ Her hands were restrained in binders that Kylo had reluctantly locked and activated, so she couldn't comfort herself with even a small touch.

Kylo stopped. _Snoke. I… I'm so accustomed to it I forgot how it can feel the first time._

Accustomed to it. How many times had he made this trek, felt this fear, that it had become commonplace? How young had he been the first time? What need, what emptiness, what desperation had made Ben brave _this -_ this terror that settled in the pit of her stomach and made it churn and liquify?

Her face stilled, fell into a set expression. Her eyes narrowed. She gulped. _Let's go._

 _Are you…_

 _I'm fine. Let's go._ She clenched her teeth and forced her feet to move.

 _We…we have to hide the bond. Like we practiced…_

 _I know. I'm ready. Just…_ She had been worried that she would have to pretend that she was reluctant to be there, since, after all, she wasn't really a prisoner. But as they neared the doors, she knew that wouldn't be a problem. She _didn't_ want to be there. Her body recoiled and her feet refused to walk forward. _You might have to drag me, just a little bit._

 _Oh, Rey._

 _Let's go._ She made herself take another step.

He paused several meters from the doors, tilted his head toward her and gave her arm a squeeze. It helped, a little. She knew he felt her fear, as she had felt his that time, so long ago, when the bond was new and she didn't know what it was, when she had been ripped from sleep in pain and terror.

When the doors opened, the darkness hit her like a wave, and she started trembling. Kylo did have to drag her into the chamber. She knew he didn't want to, but there was no turning back now – and it would make their performance more convincing, a part of her brain remembered.

She had seen Snoke, through Kylo's eyes. The reality was both exactly as she expected, and so much worse. The hologram was huge, and hideous – scarred and shrunken, the eyes cold, the mouth harsh and sneering. But it wasn't his appearance that was so daunting. It was his presence…she could feel his darkness, and it was not the same as what she had sometimes felt from Kylo. Kylo Ren had darkness in him; Snoke _was_ darkness, and his darkness was deeper, colder, more sinister and hollow and all-consuming. She knew now why she had dreamed about the Maw. Her stomach cramped and her lungs felt constricted.

She let herself be dragged forward, tears burning her eyes _._

Kylo Ren released Rey's arm and bowed before his master. "I've brought you the scavenger, as ordered, Supreme Leader," he said.

"At last. The girl I've been so eager to meet," the hologram said, eyes boring into Rey. His voice was like acid, eating into her brain. She couldn't stop shaking. "So, scavenger, Kylo Ren believes he can…convince…you to join us. To embrace the power of the Dark side. What do you say?"

She glared at the hologram, eyes flashing, face defiant. "I'll never join _you_ ," she spat. She scrunched her eyes closed so she wouldn't have to look at him, but it didn't help. She felt him, felt the Dark power he radiated, felt his hatred and cruelty.

 _I won't cry, I won't cry,_ she thought.

Then the acid voice rose in what could, perhaps, be described as a laugh. "Yes, you will," it said.

And then she felt pain, piercing, burning into her eyes. So sudden, and so much worse than what they had practiced. She gasped, cried out as the fear and pain intensified, as a thousand knives dug and scraped inside her skull. She raised her hands to her temples, oblivious to the comparatively minor pain of the binders scorching her wrists.

Memories came to the surface, randomly: From her recent time with the Resistance – sitting in a conference room with General Organa; lying under an X-Wing, turning a wrench; eating a bowl of stew in the mess hall, grateful for the food. From her training with Luke – levitating stones, slashing at a training remote. From her childhood – finding the old AT-AT; playing with her doll; trading her finds for portions. Most of the memories – the pleasant, the mundane – were quickly glanced at and discarded

She fell to her knees as the probe went deeper, digging through her thoughts, pulling those that were painful to the surface and letting them linger there, seemingly just for fun: The day she was left on Jakku, crying, screaming as Unkar Plutt dragged her away; the fight with Luke and Leia, when they told her they were the ones who had left her there, forgotten her.

"Skywalker left you. Abandoned you. Discarded you like so much trash," The voice rasped.

She felt hot tears rolling out of her eyes. It was true; she had tried to understand, and logically she did – Luke and Leia didn't mean to do that, but they had; they had, and she hadn't really forgiven them yet.

"What can you expect? You, a nobody? You expected _Luke Skywalker_ to care about _you?_ To come back and check on _you_? You're lucky he bothered to evacuate you from the remnants of his ruined Jedi Academy, where my _disobedient_ apprentice – don't think I'll forget that, boy - left you alive. Why should the Skywalkers care about _you_ when they had lost… _him_?" He gestured toward Kylo Ren, who was a still as a statue.

Rage coiled in her chest, rage and loneliness and a sense of worthlessness. _Unwanted, unimportant_ , her brain cried.

"Ah, yes. Anger. Toward Skywalker. Toward Kylo Ren. We can use that," the voice hissed.

She was vaguely aware of Kylo, kneeling, frozen, still; she could sense every muscle straining as he forced himself to remain impassive.

The presence inside her mind seemed to grab onto her thoughts, followed them and delved into her thoughts about Kylo Ren. She fought it at first; she had to, just enough. Just enough. She couldn't make a mistake here – but she could barely think.

 _Rey. Hold on to me._ Kylo's voice was faint, far away.

Snoke's voice was in her mind now, scraping, intruding. _Your feelings toward Kylo Ren are…confused._

"No they're not. He's a monster. I hate him," she sobbed.

The probing grew harsher, sharper somehow, like a dagger, then there was a pressure at the base of her skull, pressing against her spine, and she felt something warm trickle from her nose…blood, she knew. It hurt, Force, it hurt. Tears streamed down her cheeks unchecked now. This is why Kylo had told her not to resist. The pain increased, twisting and digging, forcing its way into her mind. She collapsed onto the stone floor, and stopped fighting.

She felt, then, strong arms wrapping around her, holding her shoulders, felt the rough fabric of his robe as she clutched it tight in her fingers. But he was still kneeling, immobile, too far away to touch her…it was a memory. He was sending her a memory of their practice on the shuttle. She held on to it, clung to the feeling of his arms, the smell of his hair, of his robes – burning metal, welding fumes… that space smell she had come love.

Snoke's voice still burned, but not as much. _Ah, yes, hatred is good. But I sense…something more. You're…you're attracted to him. You want him to…touch you. To use your body. To…_

"No…no." She protested weakly, hands over her eyes, tears running down her face.

Snoke rubbed his hands together. _Well. This is delicious._ He laughed again; the sound scraping against Rey's mind. Then he flicked a finger at her and she felt herself slip into a dark oblivion.

* * *

It was all Kylo could do not to leap up and run to Rey. But he kept his position, knowing she was merely in a force-induced slumber. Still, terror gripped him. If Snoke could do that from a distance, what else could he do? What else could he have done, with the flick of a hand? Kylo felt sick. He should never have brought Rey here. This was madness, and it was going to get one or both of them killed.

"So. My apprentice."

"Yes, Supreme Leader." His voice was tightly controlled.

"You have performed…adequately…today."

"Thank you, Supreme Leader."

"You will answer for your disobedience in leaving her alive in the first place at a later time." Snoke tapped his fingers together. "But for now. The girl. She has…feelings for you. Desires."

He was still, silent.

"And I am aware that you have certain…cravings…for her."

"I admit this. I hide nothing from you, Supreme Leader." This was the most ambitious lie Kylo Ren had ever told.

Snoke was silent, considering. "Indulge yourself as you see fit with this girl. But – listen closely – do not lose sight of the true goal. Do not be tempted by attachment or sentiment. Show her the power of the Dark side. Break her. And bring her to me, in person, a fit apprentice."

"Yes, Supreme Leader," he said again, voice carefully controlled.

"I will send you coordinates when I feel the time is right. Now, take her and GO."

He gave an acknowledging dip of his head, gathered Rey from where she lay on the floor, and left the chamber.

* * *

It had worked. It was the only coherent thought she could form, as she came to with Kylo carrying her up the corridor. It had worked. Then she leaned against Kylo's chest, pressed her face against his robes and lost herself in his scent, which was warm and safe and _home_.

* * *

"This is…" Leia did not use the word 'torture' in the metaphorical sense, but if she was ever going to, this would be the time. "… excruciating!" Leia said, as she paced the command center, C3PO shuffling along behind her.

Maz sighed. "Leia," then she said a word in her language that roughly translated as 'dumpling', "This could take many cycles of the moons. Be patient."

"But I can't stand just waiting, not being able to do anything."

"I know, dear. You are a woman of action – as am I. But this isn't your time to act."

She pressed her lips together and nodded.

* * *

When Rey woke up, she was still smiling; a little sore from the three times last night, but smiling.

The first time, when they first arrived, had been all her. All of it…the bridge from the vision, the way he swept through the ship, the _power_ …had combined to make her a little crazed. She blushed.

The second time, after the audience with Snoke, had been both of them. They had needed each other so badly, and it was comfort and elation and fear and relief all mixed together that they shared. He had carried her all the way back, even though she woke up and insisted she could walk. He had sat her on the bed, tossed his mask and gloves aside and carefully removed the binders from her wrists, and hissed at the burns they had left there.

"I'm okay. After I rest a little I can heal it," she said, but she didn't argue when he called a droid to bring some bacta, or when he had taken it and carefully smoothed it over the burned places himself. She had watched, fascinated, as his long fingers tended her wounds. She loved his hands; large and pale and exquisitely sensitive. When he finished with the bacta, she had taken his hand and brought it to her face, kissing each finger then placing his hand on her cheek.

"Oh, Rey, I should never have brought you here. It's too dangerous."

"No. Kylo, it worked. He saw exactly what we wanted him to see, and he thought he pried it out of me unwillingly. That's exactly what we hoped."

"But it hurt you."

She nodded. "I can take a little pain." She looked up at him, her eyes taking in every inch of his face. "For you."

He pulled her tight against his chest. "I couldn't stand seeing you like that. I…"

"How many times has he done that to you?" She interrupted.

He shrugged, looked away.

"I thought so. And if we don't…try…he'll keep doing it. And worse. And now, especially, I can't bear the thought of that. I won't."

Then they were kissing, both acting on the same impulse at the same time. Rey closed her eyes and everything else fell away; she was only aware of his lips, his tongue, a feeling of blissful closeness that warmed her from the inside out and pushed away the lingering thoughts of 'unimportant, unwanted' that Snoke had left there.

Kylo pulled away. "He made you feel that? That you were unimportant? That you were unwanted?"

She nodded. She hadn't meant for that to come through. It was too close to the truth.

Kylo growled. He had a moment, then, a moment of clarity, of seeing the truth. And the truth was Ben Solo, feeling like his parents didn't understand him, being manipulated, sucked in by someone who had found his greatest weakness, his biggest crack, and exploited it. He had not been able to see it, then, but he could see it now. Could see how Snoke was trying to do the same thing to Rey. He was reminded, suddenly, of how very young she was. "It is not even remotely close to the truth. Do you even know how important you are – to me?" He swallowed. "Did you know that my grandfather had a great love?"

Rey nodded, smiled. "Padme Amidala," she said.

He smiled. "My uncle has been talkative."

"For him," she chuckled, and he did too.

"Did he tell you how she died?"

"He said…Obi-Wan told him she died of a broken heart. That after…what happened with your grandfather….she lost the will to live. He doesn't believe that. He thinks she died in childbirth."

Kylo nodded. "I never did either. How could someone die of a broken heart? But now? I don't doubt it. If I lost you…Rey, I wouldn't want to live. That's how important you are."

A tear rolled down Rey's cheek. "Me too," she whispered. The thought of a life without him…no. She couldn't do it.

"And as for 'unwanted'…let me show you how much you're 'wanted'," he said.

Then they were peeling away each other's layers of clothing, silent and focused on one another, on each inch of skin, on each touch, each taste, until they were naked and intertwined, moving in rhythm, no preliminaries, just skin on skin, flesh on flesh, bodies and minds connected as one, washing away the pain and fear until it didn't exist, until there was nothing, for Rey, except his lips on her mouth, his hands, on her skin, sliding into her folds, touching her clit, taking her to new levels of pleasure, his cock, plunging into her over and over, taking her, claiming her, wanting her, until her world was only that, only pleasure and a cascading, aching release that seemed to go on and on.

It was, as he had promised, bliss.

The third time, he had woken up in the middle of the night and tightened his arms around her. "You're really here."

"Mmm-hmm."

"My Rey. Will you stay?"

"Of course."

Soft, hot kisses along her back; gentle caresses of her breasts.

"Rey, promise? Promise you won't leave me?" His voice sounded young and scared.

"Never. Never, Ben."

He moaned at the sound of his birth name. "Are you…if you're too tired?"

He needed her. Oh, how he needed her. And she reveled in that need. She smiled, pressed her hips against his very obvious erection. "No. I'm not too tired."

He had pushed her underclothing aside and slid inside her, arms holding her tightly, each thrust an aching reminder of why she was here; she wanted all of him. She would settle for nothing less.

* * *

 **A/N**

So, they got through that. I wanted more conversation between Leia and Maz but they just didn't feel like talking this time. Next chapter, some training. Rey tests how close she can get to the Dark side and still pull back. Kylo actually starts having a bit of self-insight. Will they figure out how to produce Force Lightning without getting naked first?

Thank you for reading; I hope you're still enjoying this, and if so, let me know. Reviews are rainbows and unicorns and kittens and happiness.


	26. Strategy

**Strategy**

* * *

Sleep was not a refuge for Leia Organa. It hadn't been since she was twenty.

The nightmares had started not long after Luke and Han rescued her, and they had continued ever since.

 _The one with the cell, and the orb, and Vader. Pain and fear that leave her weak as water, waking up drenched in sweat and shaking._

 _The one where she has to watch Alderaan blow up over and over and over, like a holovid on a loop. She can feel Vader's grip on her shoulder, hard as iron. She can smell Tarkin's breath, like wet, rotten leaves._

Then there are the newer ones.

 _The one where she's sitting in a rocking chair, nursing her baby. He's so tiny…a pale morsel with a pink rosebud mouth and glittering brown eyes. He's looking up at her with complete adoration and trust, making little contented swallowing sounds. And then a hand reaches out and grabs him by the arm, snatches him away and she can hear him, wailing, shrieking but she can't find him; she runs and runs down endless dark corridors, following the cries, but just when she thinks she's caught up, she comes around a corner to find nothing. She's always a step behind._

 _The one where it's her hand on the light saber as it plunges into Han's chest_.

So when she crawled into her bed after the conversation with Maz, she knew it was futile. She wouldn't sleep. She lay there for a while in the soft glow of the lights embedded in the wall, worrying – about Rey. About her son. She wanted to hope, she wanted to hope _so badly_ , but she didn't dare. The last time she had hoped…she tried not to let her eyes drift over to what she _still_ thought of as Han's side of the bed, but they did anyway. Oh no, now she would have that dream again.

 _The light leaving Han's eyes; her hand gripping the hilt of a red crackling light saber she's never seen but_ **_knows_**.

She squeezed her eyes shut and rubbed the spot between them where tension always seemed to settle. There was no point trying to sleep now, and this inaction was driving her crazy. So she toggled on a lamp, propped herself up against a pillow, crossed her legs and picked up a datapad. The she did what she had always done. She planned.

* * *

He woke up wrapped in her arms; wrapped in her love. Her leg was twined over his; her arm thrown across his stomach; her head on a pillow that she'd pulled over into the crook of his arm, where he had her cradled against him. It was the first time he had shared his bed with another person. They had had a few stolen nights – on Takodana, in her room – but this was different. This was his bed – and now it was also hers. He smiled; he could feel her breath, soft and warm against his chest, and her hair, still loose from when he had taken it down last night when they had come back to the room and slowly, slowly undressed each other after the encounter with Snoke. It had been all he could do, in the hologram chamber, to remain still. To not interfere. But he had promised Rey. And then, when he'd felt what she had – that Snoke had found her vulnerability – _unimportant, unwanted_ – he had been vibrating with fury. Tolerating the mind probe had been bad enough, but knowing that he had dug up those insecurities…

He had been determined that she would know how untrue that was; determined that she would never feel that way again. He had ministered to her, tending her wounds, then, as they kissed, touched, he had poured every bit of emotion into her, sending his love across the bond and through his fingers, his lips, his body, hoping she would believe. He had been strong, then, for her. And then, in the middle of the night…it had felt like a dream, and he had been weak, he had let her see his weakness…and she hadn't turned away. She had accepted him, weak and vulnerable; she had wanted him like that. And it was her love that filled him up and strengthened him that time.

He felt her moving, shifting, and he knew she was waking up.

He lay very still, unwilling to break the spell.

She yawned, and squirmed. When she opened her eyes, she looked into his and smiled. He had never felt so content.

They just looked at one another for a bit, but finally, she shifted. "I…I have to use the 'fresher," she said and rolled out of the bed. He missed her warmth, but that loss was more than made up for by the fact that he was treated to watching her walk across his quarters, nude.

She looked over her shoulder at him, threw him a cheeky smile. "Like what you see?"

"Oh, yes."

"Hmm. Maybe I'll just stay this way all the time, then."

He clenched his teeth and growled as she slid the door to the 'fresher closed.

 _Maybe I'll just stay this way all the time._ He let himself imagine that for a few minutes…going about his business on the Finalizer, and coming back to his quarters to find her lounging in one of the chairs, legs draped over the side, her bare tanned skin glowing against the black leather, or standing in front of the viewport, her perfect lithe curves silhouetted against the backdrop of stars.

But reality intruded when she came out of the 'fresher and started gathering her crumpled clothes off the floor. "Um. I can get you some fresh clothing…if you like."

She stopped, smiled. "I…yes. I'd like that. I meant…I intended to actually plan this a bit. Bring some things with me, but…"

He pulled on his shorts, walked to a console, tapped a few buttons and a few minutes later a droid arrived from the quartermaster, carrying a handful of pieces: Pants, shorts, long sleeve shirts, short sleeve shirts, tanks tops, underthings…all made of similar stretchy black fabric.

He held it out to her. "It's not…it doesn't mean anything. It's standard issue. I can request other, umm, styles or…colors if you…"

"No. This is, umm, this is fine. Thank you." She took the stack, gave him a crooked smile. "Besides, I'm your apprentice now, remember? Isn't this more what you'd have me wear?"

"I'd have you wear the finest fabrics, the most beautiful gowns and robes, and a jeweled crown…or nothing at all," he said, reaching out and running a finger along her cheek.

"Well, that'd be a bit uncomfortable for training," she grinned and slipped into the 'fresher again. A few minutes later he heard water running.

* * *

Leia sat at the head of the conference table, Luke on one side of her, Maz on the other. She watched as Threepio handed each person a datapad as they entered the room.

"Come in, come in, there, take a seat. The General doesn't care where you sit, although I advised that place cards would have been wise. Still, this is a small meeting and I suppose it's acceptable…" he prattled on, and for once Leia was glad, because his constant verbal stream kept anyone from asking her questions. Her eyes burned and her back ached from sitting up all night, but she didn't care. These plans needed to be in place, and her most trusted colleagues needed to be privy to them.

Luke and Maz had been there since daybreak, when she had called them, going over what she had written, tweaking it, revising it, thinking through every implication; every eventuality.

She watched as the others filed in: Admiral Ackbar, Admiral Statura, Major Ematt, Chewbacca, Poe Dameron, and Finn. Besides Threepio, two other droids – R2-D2 and BB-8 – were present.

Finn stood hesitantly in the doorway.

"Well, come, come, find a seat," Threepio said, waving Finn toward a chair. "The General is waiting."

"Uh," Finn looked around, licked his lips. "Admiral, Admiral, General, Commander, Major, Jedi Master…I think I might be in the wrong room."

Leia stood, gave a tired but warm smile. "You're in the right room, Finn. I invited you here because you're Rey's closest friend and this concerns her. I want you to hear it from me directly and…well, I need you here. Please, come in." Her voice was reassuring and sincere.

Finn nodded and took a seat beside Poe, who gave him a supportive, and slightly flirty, wink.

"Now," Leia said as Threepio closed the conference room doors, "I'm sure you're all curious as to why I've called you here. And I plan to tell you very soon. But…" her voice dropped, her face grew more serious, "…what is going to be discussed in this room is highly classified. Top secret. Any mention of anything said in here, any breach of secrecy, will be considered treason. These datapads are assigned to each of you, and only your credentials will open them, and the first thing you'll need to do is verify your identity and accept these terms." She knew she sounded stern, but it was of the utmost importance that only the eight other life forms and three droids in the room know what she was going to reveal. "If any of you would like to opt out, now's the time." She looked around, making eye contact with each of them, brown eyes soft and warm and pleading.

There was some nervous shifting, but no one left. Leia smiled. She knew they wouldn't; she knew no one could have dragged them out.

"Alright, good. Threepio, will you give the instructions?"

The golden droid stood, made a sound like he was clearing his throat, and began. "Place your right thumb on the button at the bottom of the datapad." They all did; the datapads started tracing their thumbprints, green lines tracing each unique pattern of arches, loops and whorls onto the screen. When that was done, a new screen appeared. "Place your left eye close to the datapad." They all did so and the datapads scanned their retinas. Text appeared, followed by a signature line. "Now, read this and, if you agree to the terms, sign your name, in Basic, if you would." Everyone did.

Leia smiled. "Alright; thank you, Threepio. And thank you all for being here, today and throughout the years. Now, for why you're here. I have learned…over and over…the hard way…that keeping secrets can have, umm, negative consequences." She gave a wry smile. "So. I don't want to make that mistake yet again. That's why you…my most trusted advisors, my dearest friends…are here. Something has come up. Rather suddenly. Rey has taken on a…covert mission. It was…something she initiated on her own, but it is sanctioned and approved by myself and my brother, her Jedi Master." She glanced at Luke, who gave a single enigmatic nod. "I am…" she glanced at Luke and Maz… " _we_ are cautiously optimistic that it will succeed."

There were a few glances and murmurs, but all attention was still on Leia. "I, especially, am…" her voice shook. "Hopeful." She dared hope. Just a little. Now that she had planned for the worst, she could let herself hope for the best. "Now, I know you'll all have…questions. Concerns. I have them. That's why I've written up several - actually eleven - contingency plans. And you will all get a chance to speak, to have input. But please," her voice cracked, "let me get through this presentation first. Because this mission…well, even total success will bring a shitstorm of issues, as you can see if you look at Section I."

Leia clicked and an outline of Section I appeared on the holoscreen in the center of the table as they all scrolled to the more detailed version on their datapads. It was a summary of exactly what the 'mission' was. Unlike Maz, Leia had kept the explanation very antiseptic, thoroughly professional. Still, the Force Bond had to be mentioned. There was silence as they read, they assimilated, they understood. Then there were gasps, widened eyes, open mouths.

She swallowed, clicked her pointer and the holoscreen changed. "And as you can see by reading through Section II, failure could be….catastrophic." This was a mild description for what would result if the Resistance ended up fighting two extremely powerful, Force-bonded Dark-side users.

More silence, more reading, some glances at Luke, who refused to make eye contact with anyone.

"However, as you can see if you glance at Sections III-XIII, I've tried to anticipate every possible outcome."

They watched as screen after screen glowed in the center of the room, each presenting a possible outcome, and the potential consequences, and, finally, a list of recommended Resistance actions. Like everything she did, it was thorough and meticulous and well-thought-out, and she carefully skirted around the fact that she was talking about Luke's newest student and her own son. It went from best-case scenario, which included words like 'treated as a defector' and 'plea bargain in exchange for information and services' to worst case scenario, which included words like 'kill or capture mission' and 'necessary and appropriate military intervention' and 'immediate evacuation'. Leia's voice shook as she presented the last screens. But having plans in place, allies who were aware of the situation – she hoped they would forestall any sort of mob mentality, any calls for execution or war crimes trials in the event that the mission was successful and Rey actually brought her son home. And if it failed, well, the plans would hopefully at least allow the Resistance to flee in an organized manner.

Finally, she finished and sank into her chair. The truth was exhausting. And this was only beginning. "So. The floor is now open for discussion," she said.

* * *

Rey was tugging self-consciously at her clothing as they walked down the corridor toward the training room. She had chosen a pair of pants that ended just below the knee, like she liked, a tank top and a long flowing vest. They fabric reminded her of what Finn had been wearing when she first met him, and she felt a twinge of homesickness; she didn't regret being here, but she missed her friends. _I'll see them again,_ she told herself.

As they rounded a corner, they almost collided with General Hux.

He stopped and looked at Kylo, his nostrils flaring a bit in surprise. "Ren," he said.

"Hux."

"Where are you taking the prisoner?"

"Why is that any of your concern?"

"Just curious as to which regulations you intend to break today."

Kylo took a step toward Hux. "I have the Supreme Leader's authorization to do whatever I deem necessary to convince her to join us. So anything I do involving her _is_ regulation. And as you can see, she is no longer unwilling to be here"

Hux glanced from Kylo to Rey, taking in her black clothing and her lack of binders. He frowned. "What are you talking about? No longer unwilling to be here?"

Kylo tilted his head toward Rey. "Tell him."

Rey took a step closer to Kylo, pressing her body against his arm, and looked up at him with a look of submissive adoration. "I want to be here, with my Master." She heard a sort of strangled gasp from Kylo, and, struggling not to smile, sent him an image from the day before, when she had called him master and knelt down and taken him in her mouth.

He sucked in a breath, loud and harsh through the mask. _You're going to pay for that, apprentice_. And he sent her an image of him pinning her to the training room wall and pounding into her.

 _Promise?_ She smirked.

Hux looked from one of them to the other, realized they had both forgotten he was there, ground his teeth and stomped off, mumbling under his breath, "Kriff, two of them now."

* * *

 **A/N**

I'll have some actual training next chapter. Leia decided to talk to me in this one, so I went with that. I didn't include the details of what exactly all of Leia's contingency plans are because, well, I'm not a military strategist, and I didn't think it would be that interesting. But I think she would have everything in place; she's hopeful but terrified to hope, and she certainly doesn't want Rey to bring Ben home only to have him face a military tribunal or a war crimes trial. So she plans. And she's learned her lesson about keeping secrets (yeah, a bit of a reference to 'Bloodlines', even though this story isn't totally compliant with that).

Yeah, the datapads work just like iPhones with the fingerprint thing, because why not? I think it's pretty cool.

Poor Hux is having a true FML moment.

Thanks so much for reading. I don't say it enough, but knowing you're reading and enjoying this story makes me so happy! And of course, reviews are like hot, fresh, warm doughnuts – they make me happy.


	27. Adrenaline

**Adrenalin**

* * *

Training. And lemons. That's all this chapter is.

* * *

As soon as the doors to the training room swished closed, he tossed the mask on the floor and slammed her against the wall, kissing her hard, his lips insistent against hers, violent and passionate and hot, Force, so hot she felt like she might melt. He pressed his body against hers, fitting perfectly so that she felt everything, she felt him everywhere. They fit so well, so perfectly, every piece of him pressing against her in just the right place, and at the same time, his mouth, his hands…touching every place perfectly. He was grinding against her, rubbing his cock up and down over her crotch, pushing her legs apart with his knee so he could press even closer and, oh, frack, yes, right there. She was trembling already, and she reached down, hands clawing at his belt and…

He stepped away and gave a small smirk. "Right. So. Time to get to work."

"Wh-what?"

"Training. That's what we're here for."

She glared at him. "Are you _serious_?"

He kept smirking. "I told you you would pay."

"You are a very bad man, Kylo Ren."

"Yes. Yes I am."

She gritted her teeth and growled.

"Frustrated? Angry?" He asked, his tone taunting.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "What do you think?"

"Good. First lesson. Use that." He ignited his light saber and twirled it. They had fought for real so many times that it didn't occur to either of them to use training sabers; this was what they did.

"Now, show me what you've learned since the last time we fought."

She ignited her saber, fell into a fighting stance, her saber high in one hand, blade held horizontally over her head and pointed to the side.

He grinned, gave his saber another languid twirl, and just _waited_. Infuriating. She lept forward and to the side, swinging wildly at him, but he raised his saber almost without effort and blocked her strike. She continued to attack, all fury and wildness, as he dodged and blocked.

She wanted to try something, something new that she had been reading about before she left. She reached out, felt him, his carefully contained power, his inherent darkness, the fury buried within him that he wouldn't unleash on her now…but she had felt it before and she sought it out, tapped into it, like she had that first time, on Starkiller, but this time, she didn't shy away. She took it in, let it course through her, his power, his darkness…it was intoxicating. Her strikes came faster, harder, wild and relentless.

"You're enjoying this," he said.

She smiled, breathing hard. "So are you."

"Of course. How could I not? You are beautiful and fierce and _mine._ "

She felt her cheeks warm, then swung at him with several ferocious strikes.

"Interesting new technique. Vaapad?"

She grinned and spun away. "I've been practicing."

"I gather you did not learn this from my uncle?"

She shook her head, trying to strike from behind. He spun around easily so that they were once again facing one another.

"No. He said it made him…"

"…Uncomfortable?"

"Yes. How did you…"

"…know he would say that? Because it's what he told me…"

"…when you asked him to teach it to you?"

He nodded. "So you taught it to yourself? Alone?" He clenched his jaw.

She nodded. "I studied. A little."

He was still, his eyes holding hers. "You'll never have to do that again. Anything you want to know…anything…tell me. If I know it, it is yours."

She stared at him, transfixed by his gaze, by the knowledge that he would give her anything. Everything.

He blinked, looked away, retreating to a ready stance again, waiting for her to do the same. "Why this style?"

"It seemed…well-suited to…this. Close to the dark side but not quite all the way."

"You don't want to go all the way?" His tone was suggestive.

"Stop distracting me," she said, swinging wildly toward his shoulder.

He just laughed, soft and low, as he stepped to the side and dodged the strike. "Well, it's a good choice for you. You're a natural at it; I remember on Starkiller…I felt you, in my mind, taking. Learning. That's when I knew. I knew I wanted to teach you, to have you."

She smiled sweetly. "Well. Here I am. Teach me. Master." As she said it she lunged in for a strike that he just managed to block.

"You can't distract me that easily," he said, suddenly behind her, the heat of his lightsaber close to her face. "And there's plenty I can teach you." He moved the lightsaber away, brushing the fingers that held the hilt against her cheek. A strange thrill ran through her, sending shivers down her spine and straight to her crotch.

"So, Vaapad. It's more than a fighting style. It's a state of mind; it takes a great deal of focus. You have to channel the Force; take pleasure in the power. Channel your own inner darkness, not just your opponent's." He lifted his saber for a hard downward strike.

She swung hers upward, toward his face, in a move he remembered all too well from Starkiller. He was expecting it this time and simply swayed his upper body away. "Yes. Like that," His voice was low, a rumbling whisper that made her insides clench. It was damn distracting.

She was still taking from him, taking his darkness and aggression, but she was also giving, sending the light and darkness in her to him, letting him use it and then taking it back. It was what she had read about in the holocron she had found in Luke's library…a feedback loop between them, only this was more than that, because it was all flowing through the bond, and she could take not just his fury but all of him, his darkness and his light (because it was there too, she felt it); his techniques, his knowledge. She realized she had always done this with him, really, and that perhaps this wasn't Vaapad at all but just them. She wondered if she could use the technique with anyone else.

 _Of course you'll be able to…but it won't be like this_. He was there, in her mind, guiding her now, almost directing her strikes, her hands moving before she knew where they should go.

A few times she managed to singe his robes; a few more she felt the heat of his blade close to her skin.

After what seemed like hours of back and forth, he called time, stepping off the mat and flicking off his saber. Rey followed. He pulled a bottle of water from a small conservator, took a swig and handed it to her. She followed suit, gulping down the cold liquid, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. She noticed that he was staring at her, staring at her lips. She smiled.

"I could feel you. Inside me, taking my darkness, my power. It was exhilarating." He lifted a gloved hand, touched her cheek.

She felt warmth spread from where his hand touched her, and she leaned into it. "It felt…good. It felt like when we…like when you're in me, only it wasn't physical. It was…" She looked down, unable to really explain it. Unable to even understand it.

"I know," he said, pulling her face to his, kissing her, his soft lips pressing her mouth open slowly, so slowly, his tongue exploring, his hand still on her face, pulling her to him. She turned to face him, her small hands roaming over his face _. I want you._

 _You have me._

 _You know what I mean. You're not going to stop again, are you?_

 _No. I can't deny you for long. And…_ he took one of her hands, directed it down and ran it along his cock, which was hard and throbbing _…I can't deny myself any longer._

He pressed her against the wall, the kiss growing more intense, her hands moving over his chest, shoulders, back as she rubbed against him, feeding her arousal with that beautiful friction. He lifted her arms, pinned them against the wall and held them there with one hand.

 _But that doesn't mean training is over._ And she found she couldn't move, couldn't even speak; she was frozen in place. _We're not done yet._

 _What are you doing?_

 _Force powers. I know you've mastered Force Stasis; you demonstrated that on Takodana. But can you get out of it?_

 _I…no._

 _Well._ He removed his gloves, ran the back of his hand along the side of her face. _If you want to touch me, you'll need to free yourself._

 _How?_

 _Find the Force. It's what's holding you. Find the threads of it and untangle them_. He was kissing her now, his lips travelling down her throat, his hands squeezing her breasts.

 _How am I supposed to concentrate on finding the Force when you're doing that?_

 _Consider it motivation._

 _I don't think this is how you're supposed to use the Force._

 _No. But as you said, I'm a very bad man_. His hands were inside her shirt now, lifting it over her head, and then his mouth was on her nipple, sucking, running his tongue around it in languid circles, taking it between his teeth. Oh, that, she could feel that deep inside, it made her clench and throb. It made her want to grab his hair and _pull_ but she couldn't move. She tried to find the way the Force was holding her, but she couldn't…just as she almost saw the threads she lost focus, distracted by his hands, his mouth, which was sliding down her stomach now, past her belly button, his hand sliding inside her pants, pushing them down, carefully lifting each foot and slipping them off, trailing his hands back up her legs, her thighs, kissing the bite marks he had left that time, on the ship, when she had agreed to come with him. _Mine_ , he thought, and she felt a rush of wetness at the memory. She wanted to touch him, she wanted to feel his skin under her fingers, against her body, but he was still fully clothed, and didn't seem to be making any moves to change that.

 _Free yourself and undress me._

She growled, and felt a spike of desire from him across the bond, and he pushed her legs apart and swiped his tongue up over her folds, licking the wetness away. She still couldn't open her mouth to speak, but she moaned deep in her throat, and when he dove in and started swirling his tongue around her already-throbbing clit the moan turned to a high-pitched hum. She was on the edge already, legs trembling; she wanted to run her hands through his hair, she wanted to thrust her hips against his face and tongue, but she was frozen and he was totally in control and it was infuriating her and inflaming her in equal measures, and, Force, he was so _good_ at this. So good. She needed this, needed more, needed to grab on to something, needed to dig her fingers into his flesh, needed to _scream_ and then she could see it, feel it, the Force, the way he had wound it around her and it was suddenly so _easy_ to unwind it. She reached down and grabbed his hair and pulled, spread her legs farther apart and opened herself to him more.

She couldn't hold on any longer; she felt herself tense and she was suddenly afraid she might collapse.

 _I won't let you fall._

The release that swept through her was strong and swift and felt endless, swirling and winding around her like the Force hold had. She slumped against the wall and waited for breath to return as he wrapped his arms around her waist, still kneeling in front of her. She looked down, into his eyes that were deep and dark, pupils wide, full of a sort of reverent lust.

"Your turn," she said, pulling him to standing, hands sliding down to his trousers, unbuttoning them. "Push me up against this wall and fuck me."

She didn't have to ask twice. He was inside her so fast it made her head spin, thrusting and pounding against her with a passionate fury. Sending his arousal across the bond to heighten hers, pulling a second climax from her that she didn't know she was capable of after the first, throwing his head back and gasping out a low grunting moan as she felt hot liquid pulse into her.

They slid down the wall, clinging to one another, unable to move for she didn't know how long.

* * *

 **A/N**

So, I've never done any fighting, so I hope the fighting/training part was okay. And like Rey, everything I know about Vaapad comes from some stuff I read and researched, so I hope I did okay with that, too. Writing fight scenes is not my strong point, but it's kind of fun, too, especially adding in some banter and flirting.

Thanks for reading and reviewing! You have no idea how thrilled I am to see your feedback!


	28. Inquisition

**Inquisition**

* * *

Questions. So many questions.

They were all talking at once, and for every question that was voiced, she could feel ten more that were as yet unspoken.

She wanted to jam her hands over her ears, squeeze her eyes shut, put her head down on the conference table and _scream_.

But somewhere in her mind, Breha Organa's voice still whispered to her: _A Princess never loses her composure. You are the example; as you act, so will your subjects._

 _But, Mummy, what if it's something truly terrible?_

 _That's when it is most important that you maintain your poise._

So what she actually did was breathe - in through her nose, out through her mouth – compose her face into a serene expression, and say, in a soft, well-modulated voice, "Please. One at a time."

They settled a bit, and the questions slowed.

"You said she did this 'on her own initiative'. What exactly does that mean?"

"Are we sure we can trust her?" That was Ackbar, ever suspicious.

"Isn't she just a girl? What were you two thinking, sending a barely trained child to do something like this?"

"How will we know if we need to implement one of the more…extreme…contingency plans?"

"Wait. Back up. I think we're sort of burying the lead here. Are you telling us that Kylo Ren and Ben Solo are the same person? And that he's your _son_?" Admiral Statura asked.

 _Oh shit._ Most people in the room knew, but a few didn't.

"Yes. That is correct." She didn't elaborate. What else was there to say? There were a few mumblings amongst them, those who knew the story giving a brief explanation to those who didn't. Then the questions started again.

"Skywalker, can you explain more about this Force Bond thing. I don't understand…"

Luke sighed heavily, and tried. It had all been there, in Leia's presentation, but they wanted to hear it from him. From the last Jedi. So he spoke. Slowly and tentatively, like someone not used to hearing the sound of his own voice. "A Force Bond is a…a sort of mental link. Like a comm, but through the Force. Usually it exists between a master and a padawan, but it can be between anyone if they have enough of an…uh…emotional connection."

"So you're saying they can read each other's minds? How does he not know where this base is?"

Leia bit her lip. "He does."

"So he could have given the First Order our location? They could have attacked us at any time?" There was a new uproar at this.

She nodded. "But he has chosen not to. I take that as a good sign."

"How do you know he won't just kill her?"

"He would never hurt her."

"How can you be so sure?"

"I just know," Leia said.

Finn spoke up. "Look, okay, he is…was…your son. But you haven't been around him in, I dunno, a lot of years. I have. I worked for him. I…sorry if this sounds presumptuous, but right now I know him better than you do. And he is ruthless. If he feels threatened…he won't hesitate. We should get her out and evacuate. Now."

Luke spoke, his words coming with difficulty. "You don't understand. They are Bound. If one feels pain, so does the other. If one dies, the other will too. He won't hurt her, physically or emotionally. He won't kill her. He can't."

They all nodded. Self-preservation. That made sense.

Maz laid a hand on one of Leia's, looked deeply into her eyes. Leia sighed. She could have left it at that. She wanted to. But…no secrets. She hoped Finn wouldn't be hurt; she knew he cared deeply for Rey; she had wondered at first if he had romantic feelings for her, but the closeness she had noticed developing between the ex-Stormtrooper and her best pilot – Poe had his arm draped over the back of Finn's chair now, Finn's shoulders resting against the pilot's arm comfortably – made her pretty sure his feelings for Rey were brotherly.

So she spoke. "There's something more. He loves her."

They all gawped at her.

"And she loves him," Luke added.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me," Finn said, looking at Poe, who pulled him closer and placed a calming hand on his shoulder.

"How do you know that?"

Maz spoke. "I told them. I felt it. In the Force. I'm no Jedi, but I have lived long, and learned much – including how to recognize certain…currents…in the Force."

Chewie let out a roar that silenced everyone. It was a sound of shock at first, but then it transformed into something full of pain and loss and underneath it all, hope.

Maz patted his arm, then coiled her tiny fingers into his huge ones. "I want to translate, for those who don't speak Wookie, because Chewie has said what is in my heart. He is terrified for Rey, and for Ben. He still feels Ben's loss deeply, and Han's even more acutely, and now he's afraid Rey will be lost too. But if there is any chance to save Ben, to bring him home, he wants to see it succeed. And Rey has the best chance to make it happen. She's his only hope."

 _Only hope._

Luke and Leia exchanged a long look full of silent communication.

Then Major Ematt cleared his throat, shifted uncomfortably, and spoke. "So, should we start prepping for an evac? Stockpiling supplies on the transports? Scouting those locations you listed?"

"Of course. There should be a cycle's worth of dehydrated portions in Warehouse C. Distribute those evenly among the transports. Inventory our weapons and ammo and restock as needed. Remind everyone to keep their blasters charged. Be sure all the ships are fully fueled at all times…" The discussion turned to the mundane realities of living during wartime. It broke the weirdness.

Leia gave Ematt a grateful smile.

* * *

The first week passed in a blur. Days spent sparring, working on new Force abilities…Rey was amazed at what he could do, by his raw power and his control of the Force. Emotional control might elude him, but control of the Force? _That_ he had in abundance. And, though she was reluctant to admit it, he was a good teacher. She had expanded her abilities more in this week than she had the entire time on Ahch-to. Force Push, Pull, Stasis, Stun, and defensive techniques for all of those. Of course, that was partly due to the Force Bond, but it was also because he was so invested in teaching her. His intensity, his utter devotion to her, swept her along and her powers grew exponentially.

And at night…at night, even if they hadn't been able to hold out during the day – and they rarely could – they had christened the training room that first day, the lift the second, a storage room just off the bridge the fourth, the back seat of a TIE fighter the sixth, and a supply closet outside of Hux's office the seventh – at night they gorged on one another. Long slow lovemaking sessions that went on for hours, or sudden violent storms of raw carnality, or both, and that, _that_ was when Rey discovered what he had meant by bliss.

It was divine.

She was living in the midst of the enemy, and she had never been happier. She felt an undercurrent of guilt, but she knew deep down that this little bubble of happiness wasn't real. That it would burst soon and she would have to do what she had come here to do, and she didn't know if it would work, if she was strong enough, what would happen. So she lived in the bubble, alternately aroused and satiated, reveling in her growing power and his pride in it, in their connection, in his complete and utter devotion, which soothed and healed the discarded little girl inside of her. She lived for his touch, his glance…it frightened her a little. She knew she was in deep. She was afraid of where she would be willing to follow him, if he asked.

It was only those rare glimpses of Ben, usually late at night when he was deep inside her body and her mind, that allowed her to hold on to herself, and to the reason she was here.

* * *

Life had taken on a sort of rhythm. They woke, ate in the officer's mess – bad instant caf with a rehydrated muffin or some powdered eggs or a protein bar – and went to the training room. After a day of training, they returned to his quarters, showered, and had dinner. In the past, he had cared little for what he ate, ingesting whatever the mess hall provided without even tasting it. But now, he wanted nothing more than to indulge Rey. He sent to every corner of the galaxy for delicacies to share with her – the gourmet and luxurious and exotic, but also old favorites of his own, sometimes earthy and simple but delicious. He wanted to make up for her life of deprivation. He loved to see her reactions – he loved to see her enjoy things. And enjoy she did, indulging in all that he offered. Sighing with pleasure at the tastes, textures, flavors – making little sounds of satisfaction that were so sensual - he could watch her eat for hours.

They were sitting at the table in his quarters, sharing a platter of Ramorean capanata and icefish, a delicacy from Tatooine. He watched as she nibbled at the spicy-sweet dish, her eyes watering as the heat hit the back of her throat.

"Now take a bite of the icefish," he suggested.

She did, and her eyes lit up as the tastes combined in a perfect blend of heat and butteriness. "Oh, mmmmm. That's so good! The way they work together!"

He smiled. Separately, the fish was too rich and the sauce was too hot, but combined, they were perfect. He knew she would like it. "Better together. Like us."

She giggled and rolled her eyes as she took a sip of the Coruscanti wine he had had brought in.

"What do you want to work on tomorrow, my love?" He always asked. He wanted to teach her what she wanted to learn.

She swirled the wine in the glass, watching the deep purple-burgundy liquid glow in the dim light. "I think…I think we should try lightning. We know we can do it, just…we need to be able to do it without…you know…first."

He nodded. He had never been able to produce Force lightning except with her, after they were together. He didn't really know how to do it otherwise. But she was right; if they could manage to do it, it would be a powerful weapon. And one Snoke would not expect, since he had tried in vain…his disappointment ever more evident…to teach it to his apprentice.

"How did he try to teach you to do it?" She asked, and he realized he had not been hiding his thoughts.

He looked at the table, stirred the food around his plate. "Not in any way I'll repeat." His voice was tight.

She ducked her head, found his eyes. "Tell me. Please."

They were interrupted by a knock at the door. Kylo strode across the room, not sure whether to be annoyed or relieved. He did _not_ want to talk about how Snoke had last tried to provoke him into that particular ability.

"Yes?" He snapped.

"Ren. I need to speak with you."

He sighed. Hux. Annoyed it was. He smacked the door control. "Well?"

Hux peered into the room. Kylo saw him taking in the scene – Rey at the table, the food, the wine glasses. "Well. Isn't this domestic," the general snipped.

Kylo stepped into the corridor, keyed the door closed. "What can I do for you, General?"

"There has been some civil disobedience on Geonosis. The local potentate with whom we have recently made a treaty has called for our assistance. We are on our way there as we speak, to step in and stop a minor dispute from becoming a civil war. Your services are required."

Kylo nodded. This had been happening more and more since the New Republic was destroyed. Worlds falling into chaos and disorder, being torn apart by internal conflicts and border disputes. It was the opposite of what was supposed to happen.

"We have a strategy meeting at 0700. If you can stop fucking your apprentice long enough to attend."

Kylo's face tensed, his hands curled into fists. "General. I suggest you not pry into my private business."

"Private?" The general sneered. "I know. Phasma knows Everyone on the officer's wing knows. Except Mitaka. He still thinks you're torturing her."

"Well, what of it?"

"I just never realized the dark side was so…cozy."

"Do not question my methods. The Supreme Leader does not. If I choose to…indulge, what of it? Surely even _you_ have…urges."

Hux pulled his collar away from his neck. "Indeed. And when I do, I visit my wife."

"You have a wife?"

"Yes."

"Where?"

"On Arkanis."

"You have a _wife_?"

"Yes! Why is that so hard for you to believe?"

"When do you see her?"

"I get leave once a quarter."

"Once a _quarter_." There was tone of horrified disbelief in his voice. He couldn't imagine going without Rey for a day now. Three lunar cycles? Without touching her, tasting her, without even seeing her or hearing her voice? It would be intolerable. It would drive him mad. Someone would die.

Hux was still there, waiting for…something.

"I will see you at 0700 General." He keyed the door, stepped inside and keyed it shut. He looked at Rey. "Hux has a wife."

Rey looked up. "He does? Well, that's nice. For him. I guess."

"Yes but…Hux. Has a wife."

"What's so odd about that? He's a person."

"No he's not. He's Hux."

She rolled her eyes. "Still a person. Does he have kids?"

Kylo stared at her. "Kids? _Children?_ Hux?" The idea was too strange to contemplate.

* * *

 **A/N**

Ramorean capanata and icefish: I looked up 'delicacies' on Wookiepedia and found this dish, made by Jabba's personal chef and apparently very delicious, unlike what we see Jabba eating in the movie. It didn't describe how it tasted so I made that part up.

Yeah, I decided to give Hux a wife. Because Hux is a person, too, and I like him as a character and I think it gives him more depth. And because it totally weirds Kylo out!

Thanks for reading and reviewing! I get a little happy thrill every time I see a review!


	29. Remembrance

**Remembrance**

* * *

The meeting had gone…as well as could be expected. It had lasted well into the evening, and by the time it was over, her eyes were burning and her back was aching. Luke walked her back to her quarters, gave her a reassuring hug, and told her to get some sleep. Actually, he had said "Get some shut-eye," and she shook her head and wondered when they had turned into old people. Still, she intended to do exactly that. But when she crawled into the bed, sleep wouldn't come. She was too on-edge, her nerves jangled, her hands shaking from too much caf and too much raw, conflicting emotion.

So now, Leia was sitting on the floor in her quarters, her back against the sofa, her knees hugged against her chest. In her hand was a slim fluted glass containing a rich emerald colored liquid: Aderaani wine. Not the teal Toniray, but the Organa royal vintage, rich and brilliant green. Han had found three bottles – she didn't know where or how and had been a little afraid to ask – and had given them to her for their tenth wedding anniversary. She had rationed it, only having a tiny glass on very special occasions, and she still had a bottle and a half left. This seemed like a fitting time for a small indulgence.

The room was dim – a single light embedded in the wall gave off a faint, warm glow. On the low table in front of her was a small holo projecter. Flickering above it was a tiny version of herself. In the holo, she was saying something, gesturing at her nightgown…"Han, please, I'm not presentable!" But he came closer, and she shifted the small bundle in her arms so the tiny face was turned toward the camera. So much hair – a riot of black curls. And those eyes, so intense, staring into the camera, staring out at her from the holo, from the past.

She was not one to wallow. She normally only allowed herself to do this once a year, on his birthday. He had been born in winter, where they lived then, but here, on D'Qar, the seasons were reversed, and the day of his birth fell in high summer, when the leaves were at their greenest and the sun blazed through the asteroid field, the dust and moisture creating an impenetrable haze in the air. It was barely spring here now, but…

She clicked a button and the scene shifted. A toddler, running on sturdy legs, toward a table piled with gifts and cake and punch. Younger-her handing him a piece of cake that he stuffed in his little pouty mouth, bright blue icing smearing across his face. Then Han, oh, Han, handing the child a present. He ripped off the wrapping and squealed with glee at the small replica of the Falcon, giggling and zooming it through the air in a chubby hand, then, inspiration lighting his face, releasing it, laughing harder as he made it fly free, higher and faster.

A tear rolled down her cheek.

Another click. He was riding a miniature speeder bike, Han running alongside, the bike wobbling a little but then picking up speed, zooming along…huge goofy grins on both faces as they realized he was doing it all by himself.

Oh, that feeling of optimism and happiness and _potential._ She had been so happy then. So hopeful. So innocent. So stupid.

The next holo showed an older child, dressed in fine clothes, face serious, standing beside her at some ceremony that had seemed important then. She thought she could see something in his face, even on the tiny flickering holo, even across all these years - fear and guilt lurking beneath the quiet expression. The darkness creeping in.

The next one showed him in Jedi robes, Luke beside him, all smiles, as the boy levitated rocks effortlessly into a pyramid. It had been the first holo after they sent him to train with Luke. He was doing well, learning easily, Luke's message had said. Oh, how she had wanted to believe it meant everything would be fine. That Luke's influence would over-ride whatever it was that sometimes sent him into fits of rage that unintentionally sent things flying across the room, made lightbulbs explode, shattered glass.

Silent tears flowed down her cheeks. It was her fault. She should never have sent him away. He had needed _her,_ and Han. His mommy and his daddy. She should have never hidden the truth from Han. But when things started…manifesting…powers that he shouldn't have known about, anger that flared from him at the slightest provocation – or none at all – Han had left it to her, huffing out in frustration when the emotional storms hit. So she had turned to Luke. She thought she was doing the right thing at the time, but she couldn't see the consequences, couldn't see the path her actions were leading them down, and then it was too late.

She reached out, into the Force. Untrained as she was, she could feel it, connect with it. Luke had taught her a little, but mostly she just let her mind go blank, reached out and followed it - a beckoning point of light that got bigger and bigger, bloomed into colors more vibrant than any she had seen in real life and swallowed her. Once she was there, she simply thought. And her thought, tonight, was ' _Please. Please let this work. Please bring them home. Please make things right. Please.'_

Tears rolled out of her swollen eyes and down her cheeks and dripped onto her nightgown, but she didn't feel them. She just repeated the word over and over, rocking back and forth. _Please, please, please._ She wanted to hope, to have faith that the Force would take pity on her. But that wasn't the way it usually dealt with her family.

She blinked, swiped the tears away, and finished her wine, which tasted light and fresh and floral, like the air after a spring rain. She clicked off the holo and curled into a ball on the sofa, pulled a thick tufted blanket over herself and drifted into a deep and mercifully dreamless sleep.

* * *

Rey woke with a jolt, immediately feeling like something was wrong. It took a few seconds for her to figure out what it was. She was alone in the bed. His bed. Their bed? It had only been a week, but she had gotten so used to waking up next to him, to feeling his warmth, his strong arms around her, his soft breath against her hair. She had slept alone her entire life, and never considered it a deprivation. But now, even though she knew he had only gone to Hux's meeting, she felt bereft. She pulled his pillow to her chest and curled around it, inhaling his scent and dozing until he came back.

She sat up when she heard him come through the door, heard him take off that stupid helmet. When he walked into the bedroom, he stopped, drew in a breath. "Rey." He smiled. "I never thought I'd see anything so perfect."

"What?"

"You, in my bed, wearing nothing but a sheet."

She smiled, but then bit her lip and looked down.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

He tilted his head. "No. What is it?"

"I…I just sort of like thinking of it as our bed."

A pink flush crept across his cheeks. " _Our_ bed." He smiled, sat on the bed beside her and gathered her in his arms. "I like that. I like that very much." He raised his hand, ran his fingers across her cheek. "In fact, I never want to have another bed that isn't _our_ bed."

She smiled, blushing too. "Me neither." She leaned in and kissed him, softly, her hand reaching up to run through his hair.

He sighed. "I'd like to spend the day in _our_ bed, but...there's a complication."

"What?"

"We arrive at Geonosis in two days. We have a treaty with one of the local rulers; the former New Republic governor, in fact, who turned to us for protection from local warlords after…well, _after_ , because there's…a bit of a power vacuum now. He's requested our assistance in a border dispute between his own forces and a local militia. It's just a territorial skirmish that's gotten out of hand. The planet is, frankly, a mess, but we must honor our treaty."

"The former New Republic governor? But why would he…"

"Turn to the First Order for help? Who else is going to protect him?"

"The Resistance…"

"…has fewer than fifty fighters, and half of those are relics from the Rebellion. And no real heavy ground vehicles or artillery. They simply cannot play the role of galactic law enforcement. They're too small."

"So this was the First Order's plan? Take out the New Republic so worlds would have to turn to them for help?"

"Not exactly. This chaos…has been an unintended consequence. That isn't really the point, though."

She nodded. He would have to go on a mission.

"Not just me."

She scrunched her brow.

"The Supreme Leader has ordered me to take my apprentice. To test her in battle."

Her eyes widened. "Oh."

"I…it's not like I can say no. But we could think of something…fake an injury or…"

"No. That would be too suspicious." She took in a breath, biting her lower lip. "You said it was a local border dispute. So the Resistance won't be involved at all?"

"Correct. At least as far as our spies know, the challenging faction has no connection to the Resistance."

"Are you going to kill everyone?"

He winced, and she felt a twinge of guilt at having been so direct. But it was one of the First Order's more common solutions to problems. She had to ask.

He answered carefully. "No. At least, that is not the plan. The hope is that a show of strength will be all that is needed to quell this conflict. The governor does not want these people killed, as he needs them to work in the factories. He simply wants them to obey."

She nodded. "And if I go, is my Master going to ask me to do anything I wouldn't feel comfortable doing?"

"No. No, I said I never would."

"So. I'll go. I know how to fight; I've been in plenty of battles. I'll go. And I'll prove myself a good and willing apprentice."

"But…"

"I decide what's justified for me. Remember?"

"Yes, but…"

"I think going, in this situation, is justified."

"But people will see you fighting for the First Order."

She frowned. That could cause problems. The she climbed out of the bed and opened his closet, pulling out one of his robes and slipping it on, pulling the hood low over her face. "They don't have to," she said from inside the hood. "It could be one of the others. The Knights of Ren? Right?"

He considered. "I suppose. They don't usually participate in this sort of thing but…yes. It is plausible."

She pushed the hood back and gave a quivery smile. "Okay then. I can do this."

Reluctance was clear on his face, but then he nodded. "Alright. We need to train, practice some things specific to battle. I know, I know, you've fought. But there are a few things…how to stop a blaster bolt. Battle meditation. Force confusion. Force choke…if you want…it doesn't have to be lethal."

"I don't actually have a problem with lethal. If the circumstances warrant it."

He leaned close to her and drew in a breath. "You are perfection."

"Shut up." She started to slip the robe off to get dressed.

"Wear that," he said, voice low. " _Just_ that."

Her face flushed with a heat that spread throughout her body. "It's too long!"

"Let me see it." He held out a hand.

She shrugged out of the robe, handed it to him. He ignited his lightsaber, sliced off a chunk at the bottom and from each sleeve and handed it back. "Not anymore."

"Umm. Okay. Yeah." She pulled the singed robe, now the right length for her, back on. Already anticipating the feeling of his hands slipping under it, gliding along her naked body, when they got to the training room. Or the lift.

* * *

They were in a conference room. They would arrive on Geonosis within the hour, so this was the final strategy session. Hux was pacing, waiting for Phasma to arrive. Rey fidgeted, adjusted the rough fabric of the robe – she had a soft black shirt and trousers under it this time, and sturdy boots. Kylo Ren sat, silent and brooding, hands gripping the arms of the chair, helmet on the table. He still had serious misgivings about taking Rey on this mission. While, intellectually, he knew she could handle herself, he also had an overwhelming instinct to protect her, and it took all of his control to fight it back. And while the mission was officially a 'peacekeeping action', there were many ways for things to go wrong, and if they did, the First Order's methods were not gentle.

Hux walked from the table to the viewport, stopped, clicked his heels together, turned and walked back to the room's sliding doors, did the same thing and walked back to the viewport. The hard soles of his high, polished boots clanged against the durasteel flooring.

It was very irritating.

Rey cleared her throat and addressed the general. "So you're from Arkanis?"

Hux stopped mid-pace, blinked and looked toward her. "Yes." He started pacing again.

"What's it like there?"

He stopped again, an uncertain look flickering across his face. "Cool. Clean. Verdant. It rains a great deal."

"Oh, that sounds nice. I love rain. And green things. There weren't any, really, on Jakku."

Hux nodded, perplexed expression still on his face.

 _What are you doing?_

 _Small talk. Chit chat._

 _Chit chat_. _With Hux?_

 _Why not?_

 _Because he's Hux. His role in life is to irritate me._

She rolled her eyes. _Well, I'm going to treat him like a person._

Hux had resumed his pacing. Silence stretched again.

"So, uh, you have a wife? On Arkanis?"

He once again halted his pacing. "That is correct. Does Ren tell you everything?"

"Pretty much."

He pressed his lips together.

"Where does she live?"

"In her family's ancestral villa. Near a river."

"A river." Rey smiled. "That sounds pretty."

"It is pleasant."

"Do you miss her?"

He actually looked at her face for the first time, and his eyes softened a bit. "Yes."

Rey smiled. "I bet she misses you too." Kylo drew in a breath as her hand found its way to his thigh under the table. "I would," she whispered.

He turned his face toward hers _. You'll never have to know what that's like. I would tear the galaxy apart before being separated from you._

She leaned closer, eyes blazing, and pressed her face close to his shoulder. _I know._

Hux made a face like he had just swallowed a bug and started pacing again.

After a few minutes, Rey tried again. "Do you have, um, kids?"

Hux turned to her, his first reaction annoyance, but then his face broke into glowing smile at the mention of children. "I do, actually. Three boys."

"Three! How old?"

"Six, four and two."

"Oh, little ones! How sweet! Are they…are they all ginger?"

Hux smiled…actually smiled, in a genuine way, his face transformed. "As a matter of fact they are. Would you like to see?"

"Yes."

He sat in the chair beside her and whipped a small disc – a miniature holo-projector – from his coat pocket. A few seconds later, he was preening and simpering and Rey was cooing and squealing as he clicked through a series of holos showing a lovely, aristocratic-looking woman with porcelain skin and gleaming blue-black hair, and three miniature Huxes, with pink cheeks and bright blue eyes and blazing ginger hair.

"This is my wife, Cressa. She's part of the Sindian family. Very old, very aristocratic line. This is my oldest, Maximillian. The middle one is Wilhuff. He's a handful. And the youngest, Mellowyn – Cressa named him. Loves to color."

Kylo Ren sat, staring, in shock.

Hux's face glowed, simply glowed with pride as he told Rey about his three little boys, and Rey's eyes sparkled with a look that was almost hungry. Kylo felt something from her, something he never had before, but he instantly shared it, felt it too. A desire to plant something inside her, to see her stomach swell as his child grew within her, the product of their love, the proof of their union. Proof that she was irrevocably _his_.

He reached down, covering the hand she still had on his thigh with his own large one, and squeezed as he let her feelings wash through him – an almost painful yearning for family. For babies. _His_ babies. He barely held back a strangled whimper. Rey wanted to have his children. It was a feeling beyond any he had ever known.

* * *

 **A/N**

EDITED to change the name of Hux's oldest son. After seeing some spoilers for 'Life Debt', I don't think he would have named his kid after his father. I don't want to name him after him. So no little Brendol. Now he's Maximillian, after General Veers.

Yes, make more Skywalkers. That can't possibly go wrong, can it? :) But, yeah, I want them to have babies. And be wonderful parents. And live happily ever after.

Arkanis is described as a very rainy planet, so I pictured it as Planet Oregon…very green and lush and full of tall trees.

I had planned for Hux's wife to be blonde, but I wanted her to (physically) resemble Lady Carise from "Bloodline" a bit, and be a distant relative, and she has black hair, so I went with that.

Thank you to JuliaAurelia for the conversations/ideas about Leia sitting in the dark looking at old holos and Hux being all proud-daddy showing holos of his kids. And then I was going through old baby pictures of my kids and…this happened. I'm not totally satisfied with the middle of this chapter, but it's as good as I can get it at this point. And, darn it, now I've got to write a battle. Why did I do that to myself? But there have to be some battle scenes! And I really want to see Kylo and Rey fighting together, back to back, just oozing with power.

Thank you, wonderful readers! I love you all! Reviews are like a lovely glass of wine after a long hard day.


	30. Conflict

**Conflict**

* * *

Governor Seto had a nasal voice and an obsequious manner. He scurried across the landing pad, elaborate robes flowing behind him, to meet them: three transports of Stormtroopers, the command shuttle, and their escort of TIE fighters. Captain Phasma had already disembarked from the first transport. The planetary governor was greeting the Captain, thanking her perhaps a bit too profusely for coming to his aid. Kylo Ren and Rey joined her, two silent dark shapes behind the captain. The governor greeted them as well, making welcoming gestures, saying the right words, but not quite making direct eye contact.

Rey squinted into the glaring sun. Geonosis was a desert planet, like Jakku, and she was hit by a deep feeling of similarity: the heat, the dryness, the gritty feeling of sand under her feet. The sand here was darker, though, almost orange, and squishier. And the terrain was harsher, sharp rocks jutting up from the sand instead of soft rolling dunes.

She didn't like it. And she didn't like Governor Seto.

A bead of sweat trickled from his temple. It could have been from the heat but…she reached out, just faintly, not probing but merely tasting his thoughts. Nervous. He was very nervous. Anxiety pinged off him, and under it, fear. Real fear.

She sent a thought to Kylo. _I don't trust him._

 _Neither do I. He's hiding something. Stay alert._

 _I'm always alert._

They listened as Seto explained his 'situation' to Phasma. Several of the wealthier factory owners had conspired, formed a militia, challenged his authority. There were too many of them for his small number of personal security forces to deal with. Blah-blah-blah. They already knew this.

Finally Phasma interrupted. "We have been briefed on your situation. My troopers are ready for action. Bring your forces here to join us. We have no time for this chatter."

"But shouldn't we discuss strategy…"

"The strategy is your soldiers do exactly what I say or are shot as traitors." Phasma's voice was as cold and hard as her armor.

Rey let the corner of her mouth curve up. Phasma might not have the Force, but she could certainly sense and cut through bullshit. Rey had to admire her no-nonsense approach (if not the casual attitude toward shooting people). Phasma would have survived on Jakku, she thought.

The governor opened and closed his mouth several times, nodded and backed away. "Yes. Yes, of course. I'll bring them here right away."

* * *

Seto's 'small personal security detail' proved to be far larger – hundreds of soldiers - and better-equipped than expected. They had armor; they had the newest model blasters; they had heavy weapons. And droids. As many as there were life forms. Rey and Kylo exchanged a look.

Still, everything checked out, lined up with the intel they had received. The militia _was_ headquartered in an old droid factory. There _were_ twice as many of them as the governor's troops. But something felt off.

 _Kylo?_

 _I know. But I can't get anything from any of these soldiers except what we've been told. The governor seems to have remained safely in his palace. And I couldn't get anything from him either without his knowing that I was…looking_. _I have a bad feeling about this._

Rey frowned _. Me too._

Within minutes of Governor Seto's troops arriving, they were storming the militia's headquarters…a defunct droid factory from the Clone Wars era. It was sweltering, and smelled of rust and grease and decaying metal. Kylo stopped, lifted his head almost as if he were sniffing the air.

 _What is it?_

 _This place…it feels…familiar? No. Important. Connected, somehow._

 _Have you been here before?_

 _No. It's just…something. Like an old song that hovers at the edge of your mind but you can't quite catch the tune._

They stood, surveying the assembly line. Finally, Rey spoke, voice low enough that only he could hear. "I love you. I just…felt like I should say that now."

"I love you too. Truly and deeply."

She reached out, grazing her gloved fingers against his.

And then one of the governor's lieutenants shouted, "Over there!" and blaster fire blazed out from behind a corner.

The battle was swift and the militia was quickly in retreat. They were really just factory workers and farmers; large in numbers but poorly equipped and even more poorly trained.

Rey felt a wave of relief. All she had been required to do was guard the captured prisoners, keeping them frozen with Force Stasis until a Stormtrooper could cuff them. The trooper who was doing the cuffing, she had discovered, was GC-2229, but his buddies called him Deuces. He was only nineteen standard years old - at least, that's what he thought. He remembered snow and ice from his home world; he hoped to see water in its natural frozen form again someday. He liked to watch grav-ball in the common room, and his favorite day of the week was Primeday, because they served Nerf Steak Stew in the mess hall. Most days they just got Stormtrooper rations, he said, but once a week - real stew.

Rey liked Deuces. He had a relaxed, friendly manner. He reminded her of Finn. And she certainly got where he was coming from about the stew. Once Snoke was gone, maybe she could help him find his icy home. His family.

She was beginning to relax. The battle was all but over. True, people had died, but it was a battle. It was fair. It wasn't a slaughter. And the casualty count was low. Most of the militia had surrendered and let themselves be captured once they saw how clearly superior the First Order's troops were. The leaders would be questioned, then they would all be released to the governor, who wanted them alive, but reminded that he had the strength of the First Order at his disposal. Kylo had the task of interrogating them, but even then, none of them resisted, so he didn't have to hurt them. They knew they were beaten and were ready to surrender. They didn't seem very dedicated to their cause; in fact, some of them didn't even seem to know quite what their cause was, except to fight the 'occupiers'.

At this rate, the whole thing would be over within the hour and they would be back on the ship.

Rey was keeping three of the leaders of the uprising – if you could call it that – frozen with the Force. It was challenging, and she was quite proud of herself. She allowed herself a quick glance in Kylo's direction, flashed him a smile from under her robe's large hood, felt his approval.

And then…Deuces slumped to the ground, a smoking hole in his helmet. Another trooper, a few feet away, did as well. And then more and more fell. She jerked her head to the right, to the left, looking for the source of the blaster fire. Looking in the direction of the militia. But it wasn't coming from there. Another trooper fell…hit by a blaster shot in the back.

She released her hold on the prisoners and spun around, hand up, freezing the next several blaster bolts and then waving her hand to send them harmlessly into the wall.

It was the governor's troops. Shooting the Stormtroopers. They had…turned on them? Double-crossed the First Order? Why? Were they secretly working with the militia? To what end? If they had wanted to overthrow the governor they could have done it easily before the First Order was called in. What the hell?

Everything was chaos. Blaster fire came from every side now, the militia seeing this as a chance for a last stand – or just a hasty escape. The governor's personal security forces were shooting the troopers in the back. Sneaky lying cowards. Rey ignited her lightsaber, deflecting more blaster fire from the captured. "Get down!" She shouted at them. This didn't make _sense_! If the governor's troops were working with the militia, why were they shooting at the prisoners?

A shot got past her and one of the prisoners - a gnarled old woman who reminded Rey of the woman who had often sat across from her at Unkar Plutt's washing table – shrieked and fell. Hot anger surged through her and she followed the trajectory of the bolt to a large man with a blaster rifle. He shot again, but this time she not only stopped the bolt, but turned it back against him. It tore through his shoulder and he dropped the weapon, swearing.

"Coward! Fight fair!" She shouted, glaring in his direction.

Then she felt something push her, hard, and she found herself behind a large piece of machinery. _Get down!_ His voice in her head was loud, urgent. She ducked down. He was there a second later, taking cover behind what appeared to be a large structure supporting a conveyor belt.

 _The governor's forces…_

 _I know._

 _Why…_

 _We'll find out later. Right now we fight._

She nodded. "Phasma?"

"Over there," he nodded across the factory floor where a heavy firefight was going on. "She's called in reinforcements, and is going to try to get to the upper level with her sniper squadron to pick off the shooters."

"She's trapped; she needs help. What do we do?"

"What do you want to do?" The question wasn't about tactics or strategy. It was… _what are you willing to do?_ Because they could pull back, wait for the reinforcements, let the troopers do what they were trained for. Or…

Rey looked at him, through his mask. They had been tricked, lured into a trap, Stormtroopers shot in the back. She didn't know why, but she knew it wasn't fair, and that those who had done it should _pay_. This _screamed_ justified. Her face hardened and her eyebrows drew together. "What we practiced. All of it."

Their gazes held for a second, energy building, flowing between them. They were breathing hard, in rhythm, her exhale, his inhale. He held a hand up and she mirrored the action, pressing palms together. There was no Force lightning – they still couldn't manage that without, well… but there was a spike of energy, a strengthening they both felt, as their Force signatures swirled together, light and dark intertwining.

She felt his energy, dark and powerful and remorseless and beautiful. She breathed it in as he breathed it out, letting it seep into her veins. She wondered if he felt her the same way, if her light flowed through him, or only her own darkness – which was always there, but usually overshadowed by the light. Not this time. This time she would use it. Use it and then let it go. She could do it; she could pull away…after they made these cowards _suffer_.

He broke the physical connection, but the mental one remained; they peered over the conveyer belt. _You take the ones on the left, I'll take the ones on the right._

She gave a tight nod and they both jumped over the conveyer belt and into the middle of the fray, lightsabers ignited, robes flowing.

They didn't have to talk, didn't even really have to think; his thoughts were hers and hers were his before they even formed. They ran toward the area where Phasma and her troopers were pinned down. A group of the governor's troops – easy to spot in their overly ornate uniforms – turned toward them and aimed blasters – and were scattered, a few injured when two of the large smelting buckets that had been dangling overhead crashed down, moving in the same arc as two hands, one small, one large.

Blaster fire came faster now, from all sides. Ren and Rey moved into a tight, practiced formation, back to back, master and apprentice, lightsabers moving at impossible speed, deflecting the bolts.

* * *

They had practiced this, over and over, the day before. First with training droids, then with a single Stormtrooper, then two, four, eight…a whole squadron. Blasters set on stun until Rey complained. "When you trained, was it with blasters set to stun?"

"No," he had said, pushing away a memory –

 _Jerked out of a sound sleep, all around him pitch dark. Dragged into a large, echoing room with durasteel walls, shoved into the center and surrounded by some of the other Knights of Ren, all armed with blasters. All aimed at him. All firing._ "But my master did not care about me. If I had proven weak, he would have been glad to see me die for it."

"But it made you stronger."

"It could have made me dead."

"So could a battle if you don't give me the training I need."

"I _am_ giving you the training you need. I'm just not willing to endanger your life."

"Gah!" She stomped her foot and swung her saber through the air with a violent downward slash, leaving a smoking scar on the floor. "You're just like Luke!"

He snarled. "I am _nothing_ like my uncle!"

"Then stop holding back! Stop acting like I can't take care of myself! Stop trying to protect me!"

"NO!" His voice shook with barely contained emotions. "I will always protect you. I will do anything, anything to keep you safe. Not because I think you're weak. But…because I am."

Her face was confused.

"Rey," his voice was low, "I couldn't live if something happened to you. Not just because of the bond, but because…I couldn't. So I will always protect you. I have to."

She stepped closer to him. "Then train me. Your way. That's how you can protect me. And…" her voice dropped to a whisper, too, "How I can protect you. Because…I feel the same way. So I need that edge, I need every bit of strength I can get, and you have to give it to me. Because I have to protect you, too."

"You don't understand. My…training…was brutal. And it wasn't about making me better. It was about breaking me. Making me obedient. Making me know that he was in charge, that he could end me anytime he wanted. I…I only just realized that once we started training. How so much of it was…not about teaching me skills, but about teaching me my place. I always thought it was to make me better, but…it wasn't about that, most of it. It was about reminding me who was the master and who was the apprentice. That is not my way."

"Then what is your way?"

He was still, thoughtful. "I…don't know." He had never done anything like this before, and the two examples he had…neither was acceptable. His uncle's methods were too gentle, too soft, too light…all meditation and finding peace and burying emotion. His master's were…he had always known but finally admitted…brutal and cruel and never in the best interest of the apprentice. They were all about how the apprentice could be used.

He looked at Rey – lifted a hand to stroke her hair, her cheek. Looked into her eyes…he could look into her eyes forever and never get tired of it…let himself be pulled into her mind, felt their connection – the bond, and more, so much more. He let himself get lost in her…and he knew.

 _There is no_ _ **my**_ _way. There's_ _ **our**_ _way. And it's this. Remember, I told you, if I know it, it is yours. If you want my training, take it, like this. You know you can take whatever you want._ She gave a little smile at that, and then she was in his memory, she was him, so young, so scared, pulled from sleep, disoriented, shoved inside the chamber, the knights firing at her as she moved her…his…lightsaber, faster and faster, deflecting the deadly barrage, feeling the pure mortal fear that motivated him to be better, better…but never quite good enough.

 _Oh, Kylo._ He felt her voice in his mind, her words caressing him, not with pity but with anger; her blazing, fierce, righteous anger.

Then they practiced again, and he was part of her, his thoughts in her mind, directing her hands, her arms, moving her saber in just the right way. He stepped back, watched as she took what he gave her, integrated it into her own mind until she was doing it herself, without his direction. Doing it as well as he ever had; better, even.

 _Now can we try it with live fire?_

 _Yes, yes my love. Because I know you are invincible._

He had ordered the troopers to raise their blasters, to fire, and there had been no fear, no concern. He saw as she did – the blaster bolts moving as if they were in slow motion, her lightsaber swinging in easy arcs to deflect them.

* * *

Now, as they stood back to back in the midst of a battle that had gone off the rails for reasons he couldn't quite figure out, he was so glad she had pushed, so glad they had found that new level of training that was more than training. Because they needed every advantage they could get.

The governor's troops were relentless, the militia were desperate, and the remnants of the First Order were fighting for their lives.

* * *

 **A/N**

So I'm not totally satisfied with this but I never will be. Writing battles is not my strength; I'm much better at the small moments and the personal and emotional. But this is Star Wars and there needs to be some fighting, and I do love the idea of Rey and Kylo Ren fighting together and being amazing. And there will be a lot more of that in the next chapter. This chapter was a lot of set-up; the real battle is coming in the next chapter, and I promise some awesome Rey and Ren kicking ass and looking cool. Why does Kylo have that weird sense of deja-vu about the old droid factory on Geonosis? Who set them up and why? To what extent will Rey use the dark side, and will she be able to pull back? Tune in…whenever I get the next update done…to find out.

Thank you for reading and reviewing. Your comments and support give me life and motivate me to write and are often the very happiest part of my day!


	31. Deception

**Deception**

* * *

Everything.

Was moving.

In slow.

Motion.

At least, that's how it felt to her. Someone watching would say she was moving impossibly fast, but that's not how it felt. It felt like she was moving normally, and everything else was slowed down. The blaster bolts just sort of floated through the air, the soldiers all around moved like they were under water. This was nothing new; it was just the Force, exactly the same as when she had learned from Luke; when she had fought with the Resistance. It felt familiar, comfortable. It had always been with her; she had realized that when she first started training with Luke. It was what had made her just that little bit faster, stronger, more agile than the other scavengers. Knowing it, feeling it, training with it had honed what had always been there, lurking under the surface, until she was functioning on a different level from everyone else.

Only Kylo seemed to move at the same speed she did – or maybe a little faster, she grudgingly admitted.

 _A little faster?_ He sounded offended, but also amused.

 _Just a bit_ , she shot back. _But who disabled a whole squadron of droids?_

 _You did, my love, and I am duly impressed._

She had taken out the droids effortlessly, and she felt his pride in her ability to master a skill he had not. While he understood the concept of disabling droids using the Force, his mind wasn't as mechanically inclined as hers. But Rey, having read about it once, had instantly gotten it, had seen just how to direct the energy to overload an electrical system.

It was a good thing, because Phasma and her troops had nearly been overwhelmed by the droids. Rey had gasped as a one of the droids aimed the blaster built into its arm and scored a direct hit to Phasma's chest plate, knocking her to the floor and leaving a dent in her armor. It raised its blaster arm to fire again, but never got a chance. One jolt of perfectly-directed Force power and it, and a dozen more droids, had frozen, glitched and toppled, acrid smoke wafting from their overloaded circuits. Rey had taken out the rest of the droids the same way, a dozen or so at a time, until they were all useless.

 _And who kept the soldiers busy so you could focus and do that?_

 _My beloved master did, of course._ He had ripped the factory apart, sending rusted, rotted metal flying toward the soldiers while Rey focused, gathered the Force and directed it to the droids. _And - busy? Is that what you call it?_

 _They were busy. Bleeding._

All the droids and at least half the sentients had been incapacitated during that short exchange. Phasma gave Rey a sort of salute as she led the Stormtroopers toward the lifts that would take them to higher ground.

Unfortunately, the commander of the governor's troops had decided to concentrate his efforts on the two Force users who had just fried his droids and bloodied his troops. A barrage of blaster bolts – too many, too fast even for them to deflect, came toward them. Two hands shot out, creating a shield that surrounded them. Blaster fire splattered against it.

As soon as there was a pause in the assault, Kylo dropped his shield and sent a Force-push toward the fighters in front of him, tossing them across the factory floor and slamming them into the conveyer belt. Rey did the same a second later, flinging another group of soldiers across the room, hard. She felt something different, then, something like…pleasure. She _liked_ seeing the governor's soldiers go flying across the room, feet scrabbling on the dirty floor, trying to keep their footing. _Liked_ watching them thump into the duracrete wall. _Liked_ hearing the grunts and cries as they slumped to the floor.

Okay, she thought, but that was just Vaapad, right? Enjoying the fight. And even if it was the dark side, so what? She had already decided…use it and let it go. Like in her dream. The Maw. Right up to the edge without being pulled in. She could do it. She could.

Another squadron rounded the corner. A single thought coalesced in the minds of the two black-robed figures, something he had shown her the day before – a way to use the Force to cloud the mind of one's opponent. The squadron slowed, stumbled, confused expressions forming on their faces. The ones in the back that weren't affected yet tripped over the ones in front, who were moving like they were stuck in thick mud. Rey's hand shook as she concentrated, as she let something dark and strong swirl through her. Okay, that wasn't Vaapad. That was…what she had sometimes felt, from Kylo, when he was deep in the dark, when they had first _known_ each other. It was part of what she had found intoxicating about him; that strange dark energy pulling her in, wrapping around her. She felt it now, in him, through him – and in her. And it felt…good. It felt so good. Why had she fought this, she wondered? She watched the squadron slow, stop, felt their minds lose focus, knew if she kept _pushing_ she could break them, slow them down until their minds lost the ability to function at even the most basic level…not just slow their steps but stop the autonomous functions…

Something stronger than she was overrode her grip on the squadron, flung them against the wall and left them dazed, looking a bit lost but regaining their awareness.

She jerked her hand back as if she had been burned.

 _What was that?_ She blinked up at him.

 _The dark side._

 _I wanted to kill them, to hurt them. I…I liked hurting them._

 _I know. That's what it does._

 _You stopped me. Why?_

 _It wasn't necessary for you to continue._

 _That's not an answer._

 _You're my apprentice; your – development – is my responsibility._

She gave him a questioning look, but was met with only that mask.

Phasma had made it to the upper level, and her snipers were picking off the enemies with blaster rifles.

 _We need to capture the commander. I want to know_ _ **why**_. She wasn't sure if it was Kylo's thought or hers, but they started in the direction of the commander of the governor's troops, conspicuous in his ostentatious uniform; bright red cloak covered with shining gold braid and tall, ornate, conical hat.

Once they had a goal, getting to it was remarkably easy. They cut through the defending soldiers like a lightsaber through butter. Kylo shoved a whole rank out of the way with a Force wave; Rey incapacitated another by messing up their equilibrium, leaving them dizzy and nauseated. As they drew closer to the commander, the defenders became more determined – which was a shame for them. Rey and Kylo were one, using something even beyond battle meditation, exuding a swirling, combined power that was mostly, but not totally, dark. Many of the defenders gave up, cowering before the two Force users, but some stood and fought.

A small team – obviously the commander's personal staff – directed their fire against them in a concentrated assault. Four of them were firing at Rey, four others at Kylo, and while they were busy deflecting their blaster bolts with their lightsabers, two others flanked them. One swung out a vibro-axe toward Kylo, but he swung his lightsaber at the unfortunate attacker, slicing off the hand that held the vibro-axe. Another tried a similar technique with Rey using an electrostaff, and managed to connect with her shoulder before she could block him. Electric pain shot through her, searing and burning, so hot it felt like ice, like it was boiling and freezing her blood at the same time, her vision exploding in brilliant brightness then going dark. She screamed, crumpled to her knees.

The attacker pulled the electrostaff back for another hit, grinning. "Guess ya are human, after all," he said with a greasy laugh.

He lived to regret that – but not for very long.

The man dropped the electrostaff and clutched at his throat as he felt himself being dragged forward, toward a large black hand. The hand was what was putting pressure on his throat, and once he was pulled against that hand the pressure increased.

"You laughed." Kylo growled. "I would have killed you just for hurting her, but I'll make you suffer first…for laughing." And he drove his lightsaber through the man's shoulder, right where he had hit Rey with the shock staff. The man writhed and shrieked as the lightsaber sliced downward – and then he didn't make any more noise at all.

Rey pulled herself to her feet, stumbled back in shock.

Kylo had turned to the commander, who had already raised his hands in the universal gesture of surrender. "Please…please don't kill me. I was just following orders."

"Whose orders?" Kylo demanded, hand reaching out, not touching the commander but lifting him to his toes anyway.

The commander moved his lips but no words came out. He looked at the ground, the ceiling, his shoes. Tall shiny boots that were now covered with dust.

Kylo jerked the commander closer. The tall, impractical hat fell from his head. " _Whose orders_? Who thought betraying the First Order was a good idea?"

"I can't…I don't…I'll be shot! If I tell you I'll be shot."

Kylo sighed, as if what was coming next just made him sad. "Fine. You don't have to tell me." And he was in the man's mind, Rey tagging along through the bond. It only took a few seconds to find what they were looking for: The commander receiving a commlink message from the governor; his shocked response – disbelieving, then questioning the order. The governor insisting, demanding. No, he wasn't crazy. Yes, he knew what he was saying. No, he was not being held at blasterpoint. The commander, finally responding with a quavering 'yes sir' and relaying the order to attack the First Order troops. Then, more searching until they found the governor's location. He was hiding in a luxury box high above an abandoned arena. It was near. They had what they needed. They withdrew from the man's mind.

Kylo squeezed. The commander gurgled in the back of his throat.

 _Stop! Kylo, stop!_ Rey struggled to get the words out, to make herself say them. Something inside of her, something dark and demanding, wanted him to keep going; wanted to see him squeeze the life out of the commander, but another part of her couldn't let him.

 _He attacked us._

 _I know. But…please stop now. It's enough._

He took several deep, shuddering inhales and she felt the dark energy recede a little. "You owe her your life." He dropped the man, who slumped to the ground, gasping, wheezing. "Thank her," Kylo snarled. The commander started to pull himself to his feet, peered up at Rey - and was pushed down to his knees again. "Did I _say_ you could get up? Did I _say_ you could look at her?"

The man shook his head, staring at the ground.

"Kneel, like the unworthy scum you are. And thank her."

The man cowered. "Thank you, miss. Thank you for saving me."

Rey just nodded, fighting warring feelings of discomfort and something else that she didn't want to acknowledge. "I…you're welcome. Now go. Just go."

When they turned, they saw Phasma. Her troopers were on the factory floor, surrounding the remaining militia and governor's soldiers, blasters raised. "Sir? What of these?"

The standard response was always 'kill them all'. But - _Rey?_

She bit her lip. "Find a secure area and lock them up. Until we interr"-…she gasped at the word she had almost used… " _talk_ to this governor and find out why this happened."

* * *

It was only a short walk to the abandoned arena. Phasma and a small detail of Stormtroopers accompanied them. A sign dangled from a chain, pointing them in the right direction: Petranaki Arena. As they walked through the archway, Kylo stopped, and Rey felt a strange sort of shocked recognition.

"What is it?"

"I know this place. I've seen it in holos. It's the location of the first battle of the Clone Wars. My grandparents were here." His voice was quiet, reverent.

"They fought here?"

He nodded. "They were very nearly executed. But they escaped; fought their way out. With some…assistance. That's when the war really started; there was a great battle here. We fought where they fought." He turned to Rey, and she could feel his smile beneath the mask. "I've heard that this is where they first admitted their love for one another." He didn't mention that it was Luke Skywalker who had told him that particular detail.

She looked around at the dusty arena, the columns in the center with rusted chains dangling from them, the dirt on the ground stained dark with decades of blood. "Your family has some strange ideas about romance, don't they?"

"They thought they were going to their deaths. They didn't want to die without saying it. It was very romantic. Besides, I haven't noticed you complaining about my ideas of 'romance'. Especially when I'm doing this…" He sent her an image of his head between her legs, her hands grabbing his hair, pulling him in closer, her back arched and her eyes rolled back as she keened and undulated against him. "Or this…" this one was of her on top of him in the big black leather chair, her legs wrapped around him, his hands on her shoulders, pushing her down as he thrust upward, so deep inside her he touched places she didn't even know existed.

"Shut up." Her tone was harsh, but the half-smile and sideways glance she gave him said that he was right. "I didn't say I didn't _like_ it. And stop distracting me. We have to find this backstabbing governor."

They walked across the empty arena. It was eerie; hot and dusty and still. Too still.

"Up there." Kylo pointed at a luxury box. "That's where the commander said the governor is hiding."

* * *

Governor Seto was trying to sneak down the stairs when they caught him. He cringed away, shrinking against the stone wall, as if he thought he could melt into it, and found himself frozen in that position, the Force pinning him against the stone.

"Governor Seto." Kylo's voice was low, dangerous. "You betrayed us. We want to know why." He ignited his light saber and held it close to the governor's cheek. The sweat rolling down the man's jowly face shone in the flickering light.

"They'll kill me!"

"Who?"

"Your…your people."

"What do you mean?"

The governor looked away, refused to speak.

Kylo sighed. "You can tell us or we can take it. Telling us will be easier for you. You're nothing more than a traitor, as far as I'm concerned, and you know what happens to traitors. If you tell me what I want to know…perhaps I'll let you live."

"I…I…someone came to me. Sent from the First Order." They saw a face floating in his mind – a woman's face, beautiful, but harsh, with striking black eyebrows and lips.

 _Bazine._

 _You know her?_

 _Bazine Netal. One of our best spies._ Rey frowned. She didn't like that he knew this dark, exotic woman; knew her well enough that he simply referred to her by her first name.

"She said that she needed my…cooperation in some sort of…test."

Rey felt tension build in Kylo. "Test?" He clenched his free hand into a fist, rage building, boiling through him. Rey felt it, oozing into her, infecting her.

The governor nodded, trying unsuccessfully to edge his face away from the lightsaber.

"She said it was sort of a…a training exercise. She didn't have any details but she…she had proof that it was a legitimate order and she…she offered me…"

"What? What did she offer you, for so many lives?" Rey asked, her own anger growing as she remembered Deuces, who had only wanted to see snow again. Her voice was infused with the Force, and the governor couldn't lie.

"The…the governorship of one of the Core Worlds. A mansion. Four Twi-lek concubines."

Rey curled her lips in disgust. "You sold us. You're worse than a slaver. At least you know what to expect from a slaver." Anger curled into her veins, caressed her, called to her, dark and potent. She was staring into the governor's eyes, seeing his fear and letting it feed her hatred. The governor was a worm; he had sold them out for credits and pussy. He deserved to suffer. "Pity you won't get to enjoy any of that now." Her voice dripped with acidic sarcasm. "What should we do with this piece of filth, Kylo? Take him and dump him in the desert? He might survive. After all, I did. And I was five."

The governor was trying to shake his head. "No. No, I'd die out there. Slowly. Please."

"No? Maybe something quicker then? Force choke?" She held out a hand, squeezed. The governor gasped. "Or break his mind? Leave him a slobbering idiot?" She was in his head now, hurting him, hammering against his mind. He screamed.

 _Rey, stop._

She didn't.

 _REY! STOP!_

She paused but didn't withdraw fully.

 _Why? He deserves it. And you were right. It does feel good. It feels right. It feels like for the first time ever I can be what I was meant to be._

 _NO! This isn't what you were meant to be. You have to stop. Let him go. This…this isn't his fault._

 _What do you mean?_

 _I know who sent that messenger. Bazine. I know whose plan this was and why. And if you don't stop he'll win._

She was fighting…pulled between the seductive lure of the dark side and the pleading voice of her master, her love, her soulmate.

 _Rey. Please. You don't want to do this. I…I don't want you to do this. The person who wants you to do this does not care about you. But I do. I love you. And that's why you have to stop. Please, you have to stop. I don't want this for you._

She let go, stumbled back against him. The governor slumped to the ground.

Kylo caught Rey in his arms, held her as she clung to his robes. "Captain, take the governor into custody and put him on board. Wipe out all comms to this planet and then release the rest of the prisoners. They…were not at fault."

"Yes, sir." There was a slight note of uncertainty and something else – something pleased - in her voice, but she turned to carry out the order.

"You're the officer in charge now. I must…see to my apprentice." Kylo gathered Rey in his arms and carried her to the command shuttle. Tears were running down her cheeks. She clutched his robes and buried her face against his chest and held on, because she felt like she was going to shatter and fly apart, and he was the only thing keeping her together right then. He held her as tightly as he could until she had recovered herself a little.

Finally she looked up. "It was him, wasn't it? Snoke? He did that."

Kylo nodded.

"He killed his own troops. Why?"

He shrugged. "To test me. To test you. To destroy us, tear us apart."

She wept against his robe. "He almost did."

"Shhh. No. He didn't. We're stronger."

"I felt like I was…gone. Not me anymore. I…it was like I couldn't hear you."

"But you did."

"Why did you stop me? I thought you wanted me to go to the dark side."

"That…wasn't you. I felt you slipping away. I…didn't realize this before but…you can use the dark, or let it use you. It's different. I've…I've done both. I couldn't let it use you. I couldn't let it take you. Because you're mine." He leaned down and kissed her temple, the top of her head. "You're mine, and nothing will change that."

"I'm yours," she echoed, voice a hoarse whisper, arms twining around his neck and holding on as tightly as she could.

* * *

 **A/N**

Gah, okay this was another challenging chapter to write, and it got long. I hope the battle was worth the wait. My poor space bunnies really got played. And Rey isn't over dealing with the dark side yet – but I'm sure Kylo can find _some_ way to make her feel better next chapter. I had hoped to get them back to the ship for some sexy times in this chapter but the fighting just wouldn't end. Next chapter, though, because after this they're going to need each other so much...

Thanks for reading and especially for reviewing and commenting. I love hearing from you; it motivates me to keep writing and I so appreciate it!


	32. Aftereffects

**Aftereffects**

* * *

Lt. Mitaka had drawn the low card from the Pazaak deck. _Again_. He knew it was random, but it really did seem like he drew the low card more often than any of the other lieutenants. And he hated when he drew the low card.

So, here he was, standing at the edge of the hangar, watching the command shuttle swoop in through the open bay and fold its wings, trying to control the tremors in his clammy hands. He turned the datapad he was holding over and over and bit his lip. The shuttle's hatch opened.

Mitaka took a deep breath and launched himself across the wide expanse of the hangar floor. He waited, stomach clenching, as the ramp extended. Two dark figures emerged. One, of course, was Kylo Ren. The other was _the girl_. He unconsciously massaged his throat, remembering the first time he had mentioned her. He had drawn the low card that day too. He had seen her a few times now, but never this close. She was young. And pretty. Really pretty. Soft hazel eyes and skin as fresh as morning dew.

Kylo Ren turned his head toward him, and Mitaka realized he had been staring at the girl. And that maybe he shouldn't be doing that. He quickly looked at the toes of his boots.

"S-sir?" His voice was high and shaky.

"Yes?" The modulated voice said. The voice wasn't angry, it wasn't menacing. It was…preoccupied. The tall black figure was guiding the girl, leaning over her, a hand on the small of her back.

Mitaka's voice quivered. "I…I've been sent to in-inform you that G-General Hux would like for you to-to report to Conference Room D for a debrief immediately. Or, umm, as soon as you can get there, umm, sir. Here's the…the agenda." He thrust the datapad out with one hand, scrunched his eyes nearly shut and placed his other hand protectively around his throat.

A black gloved hand reached out and took the datapad. "Thank you, Mitaka," Kylo Ren said, then turned back to the girl, helping her down the ramp. He was surprisingly gentle, solicitous. "Do you feel up to this? We don't have to…"

"I'm fine. Really."

"Alright, my love." He held her elbow, hovered over her.

The girl looked up at the masked figure and smiled.

Mitaka stood in the hangar, blinking. _My love?_ Okay, so maybe Ren _hadn't_ been torturing the girl in his quarters after all. The lieutenant felt himself blushing all the way to his toes.

Blast. He was going to owe Lt. Rodinon fifty credits.

* * *

As soon as they entered the conference room, Kylo slung his helmet onto the table and stalked over to where Hux was sitting. "Did you know?"

Hux stood up, immediately prickly and defensive. "Know? Know what?"

The other officers around the table scooted their chairs away from Hux and stared studiously at the table, or the ceiling, or their gloves.

The door whooshed open and Phasma entered the room. "You," she said, looking at Rey. "Thank you. For the way you handled the droids. That was…highly effective."

Rey nodded. "Uh, sure. You're welcome?" This was…strange. Surreal. She was attending – no, _participating in_ a meeting of the First Order High Command. And Captain Phasma was being…nice? She'd have to think this through, analyze it, later. Right now, she couldn't. She couldn't grab on to a single fleeting thought. She was pacing around the conference table. She wanted to sit down but her body wouldn't let her. She was still buzzing with energy, strange and dark and strong, swirling through her veins like a swarm of bees. All her senses were intensified. When she looked at things, they seemed to glow – or glare – a halo of energy extending out from everything – the table, the chairs, the _people_. The stars outside the viewport pulsed and throbbed. Every color was more vibrant, every sound magnified, every current of air like a caress against her skin.

Kylo Ren stepped closer to Hux, invading the general's personal space. "Did. You. Know?"

Hux tried to back away but bumped into the conference table. "I don't _know_ what the blazes you're talking about, Ren."

She looked at Hux – no, not so much _at_ him as _into_ him. "He's telling the truth, Kylo," she said quietly. "He didn't know."

Kylo met her eyes, nodded, and turned, stepping away from the general.

"Know _what_? What are you talking about?" Hux demanded, glaring at Kylo's back.

Phasma slammed her helmet onto table. Her short blonde hair was sweaty and matted against her face, but Rey was surprised by the fact that underneath that armor, Phasma was lovely. She was also pissed. "I'll tell you what he's talking about. That was a cluster-kriff of the highest magnitude."

Hux looked from one of them to the other. "What the-? What happened?"

Phasma gave a brief but thorough run-down of exactly what had happened. "It was a fracking trap. Our casualty rate was sixty-three percent. _Sixty-three percent_!" Phasma shouted.

Hux's face went paler than usual. "Wha…why?"

Kylo and Rey exchanged a glance before he responded. "We don't know. We think it was some ill-conceived plot carried out by the governor of Geonosis. We do not know to what end."

Hux nodded. "And the rest of the insurgents down there?"

"They're…no longer a factor," Phasma said, making eye contact with Ren and Rey. It was the truth. With all communications to and from the planet wiped out, they were _no longer a factor_. The inhabitants of Geonosis had no navy, no ships that could pose a threat to the _Finalizer_. That was all Hux needed to know.

Hux gritted his teeth. A vein on the side of his head pulsed. "Right. Well," he pulled out his datapad, "This is…disturbing. Our intelligence gave no hints of this, and they are _experts_ at sniffing out even a _whiff_ of treachery. This was a colossal intelligence failure." Hux sucked in a breath, nostrils flaring. "I suppose it's time to get down to specifics. I've been told to submit an action report to the Supreme Leader. And he is not going to be pleased about this."

Rey narrowed her eyes; the Supreme Leader might be displeased, but not for the reasons Hux suspected.

The meeting seemed to go on forever, and Rey felt herself getting more and more agitated. She balled her hands into fists and bit the inside of her cheek and paced, paced, paced but the more she tried to get a handle on herself, the more she felt like she was about to explode. The energy hummed and fizzed through her, like liquid electricity crackling through her body and mind, pounding at her and demanding to be let out. She felt like something was squeezing her, leaving her breathless and dizzy and unmoored, as if the floor had dropped out from under her feet.

Finally, she couldn't stand it anymore.

 _Kylo? I…I need to get out of here. I feel all…tense and spiky. Like I'm going to fly into pieces._

He looked at her, concern etched on his face. _We'll go._

He stood up. "General. Captain. I believe you have all you need from us. My apprentice and I have things we need to attend to. We'll take our leave now." He took Rey's hand and pulled her to his side, and they swept out of the conference room before Hux could protest.

* * *

"Here. Drink this." He handed her a canister of water from his conservator.

She took it, twisted off the lid and took a sip, then a swig. Before she realized it, she had her head tilted back, guzzling the water until it was all gone. "I didn't even realize I was thirsty."

"It's the Force. Dulls all those basic needs when you're deep in it. But after…"

She managed a small smile. "Thanks."

She had discarded the hot, heavy robe and was prowling around his quarters in just the form-fitting black pants and shirt and arm wraps. She reminded him of a loth-cat, her movements sinuous and silent and fluid. He watched the fabric slide over her skin, and he knew she felt it, knew how intense everything felt for her right now because he felt it too. He needed to help her get control, reign her power in. Her eyes were too bright and her cheeks and lips were flushed and he had to fight the urge to brush his lips over her skin; it would be so soft, like flower petals. Had to fight the desire to run his tongue down her neck and find her pulse point and _feel_ all that power thrumming through her. He knew he could set her on _fire_ with just a touch right now. He wanted it; wanted those sensations so badly - but he would control himself. She was still fragile.

He remembered the first time he had truly tasted the dark; how he had struggled, left to his own devices by a master whose only 'support' was to chide him for his weakness.

"Are you hungry? I can make you one of those muffins you like."

She looked at him, gave him a small quizzical smile. "No, I…I don't think I can eat. I feel like I'm about to boil over."

He could feel the energy rolling off of her, swirling and raging to be let out. She was barely keeping it contained. He knew, knew exactly what she was feeling and he wondered if stopping her had been the right thing to do, because now she was feeling…like him. He realized that suddenly. That intolerable tension between light and dark…that's what he had lived with for years. The tension, the strain – she was struggling and damn it, all he could think of was how _stunning_ she was like this, with the light and dark snapping in her eyes and oozing from every pore. He needed to calm her, but what he wanted to do was devour her, inhale her, consume her.

He had to grip the back of one of the chairs to steady himself. "It's the dark side. It's still flowing through you. It wants to be expressed, to be let out."

"Is it always like this?"

"Only if it is…denied."

"How do you deal with it?"

He looked away. "I usually…don't." Images floated through his mind, images that he shared with her: varied landscapes – scorching dessert, dripping jungle, freezing mountains, sandy beaches – all of them burned, razed, bodies strewn over the ground as he walked away, leaving nothing behind but death and destruction.

"Oh." She was silent for a bit, roaming the room. "But not always."

"No."

"Then what do you do?"

"Usually destroy something."

"Does that help?"

He sank into one of the black leather chairs. "For a while. But the relief is…not permanent. The light comes back. Torments me. I'm…I'm sorry. For making you feel like me."

"Like you? This is how you feel?"

"All the time. Except…"

"Except?"

"When I'm…with you."

She stalked toward him, her expression intense and feral. He felt her let out a shuddering breath. She was so close to him now. He could feel warmth radiating from her skin. He could smell her arousal. He knew, then, what she wanted, what she needed. Exactly what he wanted. And he would give it to her. His eyes were locked with hers as she stepped closer, closer, then slid on top of him in the chair. Her hands were immediately tangling in his hair, her mouth hot against his, her legs spread on either side of him, pinning him down, her hips thrusting against his sudden erection.

* * *

Maybe this was wrong. Probably. Probably she should be meditating or practicing forms or…burning a village or…something. But she didn't care. Didn't care what the Force wanted. Didn't care about the dark side or the light. All she cared about was the painful throbbing between her legs and all the ways he could make it go away.

And he seemed more than willing to do that, judging from the hard bulge underneath her. Oh, sweet merciful Force, all her senses were still sharp as knives and just rubbing against him was about to make her come.

He ran his gloved hand over her cheek, gripping it gently, and she leaned into the touch, the leather feeling smooth and harsh at the same time. She grabbed his hand and pulled it to her mouth, took two of his fingers and sucked. He moaned and she bit down gently, ran her tongue over the smooth leather before letting go. She wanted sensation, she wanted intensity, she wanted…him.

She started stripping her clothes away, wishing he was doing it, wishing he would fracking rip her clothes off her, throw her down on the floor and fuck her senseless, and thank the stars he could read her thoughts because he was right there with her, reaching out and grabbing her shirt, which was halfway over her head, and yanking it off, unwinding the wrappings around her arms and chest, removing every obstacle between his hands and her skin.

She watched, breathless, as the gloved hands moved down her body. She was fascinated by the way his black gloved fingers looked against the glowing beige of her skin. When he cupped a breast and squeezed, she gasped. Fracking Force, it was like he had reached inside her and sent little tongues of arousal licking through her whole body.

He started to remove his gloves but she stopped him. She loved the feeling of his hands, his fingers, and she wanted that later, but for now…the contrast of the leather with her sensitized skin…she wanted to feel that. _Keep them on_ , she thought, sending a thought, a desire, from deep inside her mind before she could stop it, and just thinking it, sharing it, had her so wet…

He raised an eyebrow and smirked.

She lifted her hips enough for him to slide his hand between their bodies. He was careful at first, barely grazing his fingers over her folds. Letting her control it as she moved her hips against him. She wanted more but she felt his hesitancy, so she reached down, took his wrist in her hand and showed him what she wanted, moving his hand with her own, guiding it lower and lower.

His eyes found hers and their gazes locked.

When he slid a gloved finger inside her, she cried out. It wasn't gentle and smooth, like his skin. It was rough. It hurt a little. That was okay. She wanted it to hurt a little.

 _More,_ she thought, rolling her hips against his hand.

 _Are you sure?_

 _Yes, please, I need…something. I need you. I need more._

He withdrew, pressed two fingers in, stretching her, keeping his thumb on her clit, making gentle circles. She dragged her nails down his arms as she pressed against his hand. Her muscles clenched and she let out a long, aching moan as everything dissolved into a swirl of energy and light and heat and _his eyes_ , staring into hers the whole time because he couldn't get enough of this, of watching her come apart under his touch.

He pulled his hand away and brought it to his lips, sliding his fingers into his mouth and sucking, still holding her gaze. She reached out, pulled the gloves from his hands. Pushed his cowl over his head. Then his shirt. She lifted each leg enough for him to slide her pants off and for her to be able to unbutton his and push them down off his hips so he could kick them away.

He reached behind her, undid her hair from the three ties that held it and ran his hands through it, sliding his fingers through the strands as her hands trailed down his chest, fingers playing over the muscles, the scars, her gaze dropping, following the path of her fingers to what she wanted. She wrapped a hand around his cock, looked up at him and gave a little smile as she moved her hand up and down, swirling a thumb over the head to spread the silky fluid there, gliding her hand up and down, feeling him harden even more in her grip. She lifted her hips, hovered over him and then slid down, down, down, feeling every inch as he slid inside her. He dropped his head back and moaned, and she pushed down harder, clenching her teeth and wrapping her legs around his waist. He pulled her closer and started thrusting upward as she pushed down, his hands on her shoulders, plunging in as deeply as he could to give her what she needed.

She knew he would always give her what she needed; anything she needed. Everything. And right now she was broadcasting all sorts of things she wanted and needed, dark desires that she had never dared think before, and he was with her, each thought driving him mad with lust, mad with the desire to please her.

He found her mouth and kissed her, long and deep, growling into her mouth, the sound vibrating through her, making her want him even more, want him in an aggressive, violent way that was a little scary but mostly just lit her up with blazing heat. She knew he felt it; her need for something intense enough to match the power inside her, and she felt it when he found it in her thoughts, something they had never done, he had never done. Something that would satisfy the dark and the light; passion that would bring peace.

 _Trust me,_ he sent across the bond.

 _Of course. Master._ Her voice caressed the word in his mind, wrapping around it the way her legs wrapped around him.

He kissed her again, harder, deeper, and started moving inside her again. Then she felt what she would have sworn was a hand - except his hands were still pressing on her shoulders- but it felt like a hand, caressing her throat, fingers running along the side, curling around the soft, vulnerable area; squeezing just a little, and a little more, leaving her breathless. It was strangely erotic. She felt helpless, at his mercy, a little frisson of fear rippling through her.

 _Now you do it, like I am._

She had to concentrate, focus, which wasn't easy because she was gasping, shaking, aching for release. But she did, imaginary fingers snaking around his throat too, feeling his pulse, feeling the power flowing through him, through her.

Then a sort of free, floating feeling took over and she was enveloped in…what? The Force? Light and dark, all around, swirling, twisting, wrapping around them and binding them ever closer. She felt his arms – his real arms – wind around her, felt his large hands spread on her back as he pulled her closer, closer. She shifted until the angle was just right, like it had been in the dream, when she was flying the _Millennium Falcon_ past the Maw, until she felt him so deeply that they were like one person, mind and body and soul. She felt heat radiate through her body as her muscles tensed, squeezed around him, letting him know, if the explosion in his – her- mind and her gasping cries didn't – that she was coming. She felt the pressure on her throat disappear and released her hold too, at the same time she felt his climax in her body and her mind and everything shattered, like exploding stars and crashing waves and flashing lightning (okay, that was real, crackling over her skin, over his, blue and green, soothing her as it sizzled and zapped and dissipated). She collapsed against him, enveloped in the lingering ozone smell of lightning and in his love, which felt like an impenetrable shield surrounding her.

She wasn't sure how long they stayed like that, connected physically and mentally and spiritually, their Force signatures swirled together. She had her head resting on his shoulder. She felt better; normal again. No, better than normal.

"I love you," she whispered. The words seemed inadequate, not enough to express what she really meant. She sent her feelings through the bond, hoping he could feel what she felt for him.

He brushed his lips against her hair in a soft kiss. "I love you, too." And she felt a wave of feeling from him, such intense love and devotion that it left her breathless again. They stayed there, thoughts flowing between them, for a long time. Then he leaned his head back, looked at her and grinned. "You want that muffin now, don't you?"

She laughed, just a soft chuckle. "Yeah." She shifted off of him. "And then a shower."

"I'll be right back, then."

* * *

On the way out of the 'fresher, clean and cozy in a long, soft cloak, she stopped in front of Vader's mask. "Did the Emperor ever make you a muffin?"

The mask didn't answer.

"No? Didn't think so." She smiled, a small knowing smile. "That's how I know. Who he really is, underneath it all. He's not all dark. And I'm not all light. But I think that's okay."

* * *

 **A/N**

I'm not totally happy with this chapter yet, but I've been tweaking it and fiddling with it and I think it's as good as I'm going to get it. I hope it worked - I wanted some darkness but also, of course, twue wuv. 3

Lt. Rodinan is the one who ran out of the control room on Starkiller just before it exploded. I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt and saying he survived, although I don't know.

Next chapter, more fallout from the battle, and a deadline. Snoke is losing patience.

Thank you for reading and especially commenting and reviewing; getting feedback is almost as nice as having your dark, dangerous boyfriend make you a muffin. Almost.


	33. Exigency

**Exigency**

* * *

Breakfast. Powdered eggs, smoky-meat-flavored protein sticks, instant caf. News played on the holoscreen on the wall. A table of lieutenants sat across the room; one was telling a joke… "A Jedi, A Sith and a Hutt walk into a bar…"

Ordinary. Everything was so ordinary. Rey felt like it should be…different. After yesterday. After the dark side. But everything was ordinary. Including her. She had stared at herself in the mirror that morning, looking for any change. Her brown hair was neatly contained in her usual three buns. Her eyes were hazel with green and blue flecks. Her cheeks were pink with a scattering of freckles. She wasn't sure what she had expected. A deathly pallor? Glowing yellow eyes? A new smoldering dark beauty, like that spy? But no, she just looked like regular, ordinary Rey. Everything was ordinary.

Well, as ordinary as possible, seeing as she was eating her breakfast in the First Order Officer's Mess. She pushed the rubbery eggs around with her fork. Nibbled at the protein stick. It tasted like sand.

"Are you alright?" Kylo's voice was gentle.

"I guess. Shouldn't I feel, I dunno, different?"

"Why? You're not different."

"But I…yesterday…the dark side…"

He reached across the table, placed his hand over hers. The lieutenants stopped talking, stared. He didn't seem to care. "You used it. You didn't turn. I'm…not even sure that's how it works anymore. Maybe it's more of a continuum than either-or."

She met his eyes. "You think that? Really?"

He looked down at his breakfast. Picked up a bottle of hot sauce and doused his eggs. "Perhaps."

Rey smiled. That was…interesting. Very interesting. She took a bite of her protein stick. Then another. It didn't taste so bad after all. They ate in silence for a few minutes, hands still touching, interrupted only by the low rumble of conversation. The lieutenants seemed to be placing bets about something until General Hux entered the room. They immediately quieted, focusing on eating their rations.

Hux walked over to the table where Kylo and Rey were sitting. "Ren." The general gave a sharp nod.

"General." Kylo looked up, nodded back. Rey could tell he did not like having to look up at Hux.

Hux turned to her, cleared his throat. He looked like he was trying to figure something out. Finally he spoke. "Apprentice."

Oh. He didn't know what to call her. She smiled. "General."

Then there was an awkward silence as Kylo stabbed at his eggs with his fork and Hux just stood there, hovering. Rey broke it. "Have you heard from your family, General?"

"Ah, yes. Cressa sent a message last evening. Wilhuff has been selected to participate in a spelling contest. He's very bright." The general smiled.

"That's wonderful! Congratulations. Umm. Do you want to join us?"

Kylo glared at her but she ignored it.

Hux shook his head. "No. I'm not eating this morning." He pulled a chair out and sat anyway. "I met with the Supreme Leader. Submitted my report on the Geonosis debacle."

Kylo looked up sharply. "And?"

"He was displeased, but not as angry as I expected. And…" Hux trailed off, as if deciding whether or not to say more.

"What?" Rey prodded, leaning forward, an encouraging smile on her lips.

"We are to proceed to, well, it's just a set of coordinates. Far into the Unknown Regions. Beyond anywhere we've been before; at least five days in hyperspace."

Rey glanced at Kylo, who was listening intently. "Any indication of why we are to go there?" He asked.

Hux leaned in, lowered his voice. "He seemed _very_ _eager_ to meet your apprentice, Ren. I was not forbidden from telling you this. I would never disobey an order. However…" Hux swallowed, adjusted his collar. "I was also not told directly to inform you." Hux's blue eyes held Kylo's for a moment. Rey bit her lip, nervous.

Kylo nodded, breaking eye contact. "Thank you, General. I certainly want to be sure her training is up to standards before presenting her to the Supreme Leader."

Hux nodded. "As I knew you would." He stood. "Good day, Ren. Apprentice." He turned on his heel and left.

Rey watched him until the mess hall doors slid closed behind his back. The she turned to Kylo, eyes wide. "This is it, isn't it?"

He nodded. He was nervous. Anxious. She could feel it, the tension radiating off of him. The fear.

"Five days." Her voice was small.

Kylo gulped down the rest of his caf, stood, grabbed his helmet. "We should train."

Rey nodded, tossed the meat stick on her plate and followed him out of the mess hall.

* * *

"I'm sorry to bother you, Pr-General," C3PO said, "But I have something you need to see. Privately, if you don't mind," he added.

Leia sighed. If Threepio wasn't blabbing about it to everyone, it must be bad. "Alright, Threepio, let's go into my office." She led the way.

Once inside, the droid was back to chattering away. "As you know, my spy network extends across the galaxy. I'm quite proud of the network I've been able to put together…"

"Yes, me too, Threepio. But please, show me what's so urgent?"

"Of course, of course, Your Highness. Err, sorry…" He turned on the holoprojecter on Leia's desk. "Perhaps the general would like to sit down?"

"Oh boy," she said, and sank into a chair.

The image was grainy and distorted – it looked like an old security recording from the Clone War era. The images were tiny, and monochromatic, and the holo wasn't continuous; it only recorded five seconds of every minute - apparently some sort of low-energy mode. But what Leia saw was clear enough. Two figures in black robes, one tall and one small, standing back to back in the middle of what appeared to be a battle. The tall one waving a hand, a wave of Force power flinging a dozen fighters against a wall. They slumped to the ground and did not get up. The smaller one repeating the exact same gesture a millisecond later, with the exact same result.

A group of droids malfunctioning, smoke rising from their circuits as the smaller figure held a hand out toward them and the taller figure ripped metal parts from the ceiling and rained them down on soldiers in worn but recognizable New Republic uniforms. Stormtroopers running across the floor. A lightsaber (color unknown but crossguards obvious) slicing through a man's torso. A man in a commander's uniform, compelled to kneel in front of the small black robed figure by the taller one. More fighting, more smoke, a circle of Stormtroopers, blasters raised, surrounding the surviving fighters.

The footage ended.

"That's all there was. There seems to be a communications blackout to the planet now," Threepio said.

Leia frowned, bit her lip. Rubbed the lines between her eyebrows that never went away anymore. There was no proof that it was Rey. The smaller person's face was hidden.

But still...the way the taller figure had made that man kneel to the smaller one? She knew her son; knew that if he loved, he would do it with the intensity of a supernova. Knew that he would make the entire galaxy kneel at Rey's feet if he could.

She raised her eyes to the droid. "Who else has seen this, Threepio?"

"Only droids, I believe, ma'am. The intended recipient, perhaps, but they would have only gotten this much before communications were cut."

Leia sighed, crossed her arms on the desk in front of her and slumped forward.

She knew what she wanted to say: _Wipe the footage from the memories of any droids who have seen it, and then to destroy it, erase it, obliterate it from existence._

She knew what she should say: _Notify the select committee. We need to have an emergency session. They're to convene in the main conference room in one hour._

She didn't say either of those things. What did this mean? What was her next step, if this was what it looked like? Plan seven? Eight, maybe? She suddenly felt tired; so very, very tired.

"Threepio, have Luke and Maz meet me here as soon as possible. And file this as highly classified, special access privilege. My eyes only."

"Of course, General," the droid said, immediately turning to carry out her order, then turning back. "And perhaps you should visit the medbay. If you'll forgive me for saying so, you don't look like you feel all that well."

When Threepio left, Leia dropped her head forward, resting her forehead on her folded arms. _The medbay,_ she thought, _doesn't have any drugs strong enough to make me feel better._ And she knew that they stocked a selection of narcotics that could sedate a Wookiee.

* * *

Bazine Netal was furious. The transmission had started out fine – poor quality, grainy and distorted, but that was to be expected from such old tech. But it was there. Orri had come through again. He might be irritating, but he was good slicer. The holovid had shown a battle gone chaotic: Stormtroopers running in all directions, attacked by their enemies and their allies; the two Force users back to back, lightsabers flashing. Mayhem and madness.

And then, suddenly, nothing. Dead air. Everything, in fact, from Geonosis was dead air. Orri had tried all his tricks, but there were no live comms in or out of the planet.

Kriff.

Her _client_ had been very clear. One-third payment for making contact with the governor and _convincing_ him to go along with the plan. Two-thirds for the holovid of what happened.

And now there was no holovid, or at least not a complete one. He would be disappointed. And her _client…_ (really, it was time to move past this 'mysterious client' thing; she knew who he was, but she kept up the charade) …her _client_ did _not_ like to be disappointed.

Well, looked like she'd have to do this the hard way. "Orri, go check the fuel levels in the Sparrowhawk. We're taking a little trip."

* * *

 **A/N**

This was a shorter update because I needed to deal with the rest of the aftermath of the battle, and it was either going to be sort of short or really long, so I decided to break it up because there's a little bit of a time jump (a few days) before the next section. The clock is ticking now until the confrontation with Snoke. Mostly because I'm ready to kill that guy off already. Next chapter, some desperate training, some even more desperate sex, and a little humor to break up the tension.

I based how long it would take them to get from Geonosis to the Unknown Regions on some maps and charts I found online. Because if it's on the internet it must be true, right?

Leia with her head on her arms on the desk is totally inspired by the cover of Carrie Fisher's book 'Wishful Drinking'.

Thank you so much for reading, faving, and following! I love you all! And most of all, thank you for reviewing and commenting! Hearing what you think and getting to interact with you all just makes me so happy!


	34. Iterations

**Iterations**

* * *

Rey was stretched out on her back on the training room floor, knees together, feet apart, arms crossed over her face.

They had been training all day with a squadron of Stormtroopers. Rey had insisted they make the task volunteer-only. Kylo had argued that they would all volunteer. _They're Stormtroopers; that's what they do,_ he had said.

 _Well, I'm giving them a choice_ , she had shot back.

So she had asked Phasma for volunteers for 'highly advanced, potentially dangerous, special training'. Phasma had presented the request to her most elite squadron. They had, predictably, all volunteered. Half a dozen of them were now in the medbay with a variety of minor but unpleasant injuries – burns, abrasions, a broken heel, a sprained wrist.

Rey had sent them all enormous fruit baskets.

She herself had scarfed down a protein bar and a canister of water several hours ago, but that was it. She was pushing herself, running on fear and adrenaline and determination.

"We should take a break," Kylo said. "We've been working for hours."

She pulled her arms from her face, frowned at him. "No. We still need to work on Force Lightning."

They had been working on Force Lightning for days before this, without success. They just couldn't recreate, intentionally, what happened spontaneously during those intense intimate moments. Not surprisingly, Jedi meditation hadn't worked; focusing on their love hadn't worked (although it had made them horny); channeling the darker emotions like fear and anger and hate hadn't worked, although Rey wondered if now she could more easily access that side of the Force.

"We have to keep trying," she said.

He sighed. "Alright. We'll try one more time tonight. My way."

Rey gulped. His way meant the dark side. She remembered how it had felt, the blissful oblivion when she let it flow through her; the feeling of boiling over that reigning it in caused. Then she remembered how they tamed it. "Okay. Tell me what to do. Master." She gave him a smoldering smile.

He sucked in a breath. "Think of something that makes you angry. Furious. Something you would like to rip apart, destroy, obliterate."

She thought and landed on an image, one that had been playing over and over in her mind since the battle, but that she had buried because it was petty and silly and they had bigger issues to deal with. Still, it was perfect for this because just thinking about it made her _seethe_. "Okay. I've got it." She hid the image running through her mind, but let him feel the rage.

"Good. Now focus on that, and only that." He watched as she concentrated, gathered the darker currents of the Force to herself. She felt his gaze, intense, fascinated. "Now, hold out your hand."

She did.

"Point it toward that training droid." He indicated a simple droid on the far side of the room.

She nodded and did so.

"Now, try to direct all the energy, all the anger, through your hand, toward that droid."

She tried. Nothing happened. She strained, her teeth bared, her breath coming fast, her eyes blazing.

She felt him walking around her, felt his eyes taking her in. The anger peaked.

"Force, you're beautiful," he said.

His voice flowed into the taunting image in her mind, melded with it, and she imagined those words from his lips, but whispered into someone else's ear.

The anger took her, and she let out a low scream, let the Force loose though her hand, and slammed the droid into the wall, crushing it against the padded durasteel. Then she wailed in frustration and collapsed on the floor. Because while there had been a bit of satisfying destruction, there had been no lightning. Not even a flicker. Not even a tingle in her fingertips.

Kylo knelt beside her, put a hand on her shoulder. "Rey?"

She jerked away from his touch. "Don't."

"Rey, what the…?"

"As if you don't know."

"Know what?"

Rey chewed her lip and glared at him, holding back hot tears. "That woman. The spy."

"Bazine Netal?"

"Yes. I saw her in your mind, on Geonosis. She's…she's very beautiful, isn't she?"

"I…suppose. She is actually a master of disguise. She can look like anyone, or nothing. That's one of many things she uses to do her job."

"But the version I saw. That's what she really looks like?"

"That's how she presents herself when working for the First Order."

A dark thought whispered through her mind: _And how does she 'present herself' when you're alone_? "Exactly how well do you know her?"

He tilted his head. "We've crossed paths on many missions. Why?"

"You thought of her by her first name. You must know her pretty well." She didn't like the nasty tone in her voice, but she couldn't help it.

"We've worked together off and on for many years. I don't.." His eyes widened as comprehension dawned. "You think I…with her?"

"Why wouldn't you?"

"Well, for one thing, most people who so much as kiss Bazine Netal never wake up again. And…" his voice dropped, quivered. "At that time, I would never have done _that_ with someone I knew I would have to see again. Before you, there was no one…special. It was clinical, detached. I told you. Besides, I was never attracted to her that way."

"Why not? She's beautiful, and dark, and she looks like she _knows things_."

He sighed. "She is beautiful. And deadly. But Rey, you are _exponentially_ more beautiful, and more deadly. And as far as knowing things, well, I have no idea. But I am quite sure she knows nothing compared to you."

She shook her head. "You don't have to say that. I know I don't know anything. I bet she knows all sorts of positions and tricks and does all sorts of things that have never even occurred to me. Things with, umm, gadgets. And she looks like she'd be very…bendy." She had let her walls down and he could see the images that had been tormenting her through the bond – fleeting imaginings of him with Bazine, naked and writhing together in vaguely pornographic ways. "See? I can't even imagine it properly because I don't even know enough."

He laughed. "That is preposterous. You are the most sensual woman I've ever known. You do things to me I could never have imagined. Because you want to. Because you want _me_."

She scowled at him. "She's so…glamorous. And dangerous, and I'm just an ordinary scavenger…"

"How can you still think that? Rey, you are stunning. You are perfect. You are powerful. Your face, your body, your eyes – I could stare into your eyes forever – but more than that. Your soul. Your essence. I knew, from the first moment, that you had to be mine, that you were meant to be mine – and I yours. Plus, you did _that_ …" he gestured to the flattened droid, "with a _thought_. Because I might have…been with someone else."

The dark was still flowing through her, and she couldn't quite control her thoughts; her words came out in a low snarl. "The thought of her hands on you, her mouth…" her face contorted with rage.

"Do you know how that makes me feel? That you want me that much? That the idea of me with someone else made you do _that_? My cock is throbbing just thinking about it." He reached out and pulled her against his body. "You don't have to _know things_ because you do what you want to do, you follow your instincts. Force, you know my body better than I do and you….oh, Rey, my love. I can't get enough of you. I never will get enough of you. I want nothing more than to spend every minute touching you, or tasting you, or inside of you."

She blushed.

He continued, his hands tangling in her hair, pulling it free from the buns, his lips brushing against her cheek. "It's taking every ounce of self-control I have not to just throw you down on the training mat and fuck you senseless right now. In fact, forget the self-control." Before she realized what was happening, he had her on her back, her arms pinned over her head, his knee pushing her legs apart, his cock throbbing against her thigh.

She struggled a little. "Kylo, we need to train. We don't have much time."

"Yes. We may be almost out of time entirely. That's why I never intend to pass up an opportunity to have you."

He made a convincing argument. Of course, the fact that he made it with his lips brushing against her ear, his breath hot against her neck, might have been what made it so convincing. She grabbed the back of his head and pulled him to her and kissed him, a hungry, desperate kiss that went on and on.

Finally pulling away, breathless and flushed, he growled in her ear, "I could kiss you forever. In fact, I think I will, starting here," he kissed her ear, nipping at her earlobe, "and working my way down."

She sighed as his lips trailed down her body, the dark currents of jealousy still poking at her consciousness, but not as viciously.

He was deftly removing her clothing as he moved lower, sliding her shirt over her head, peeling her tight training pants over her hips and down her legs until she was lying on the training mat, nearly nude, her clothing replaced by the hot trail his lips left on her skin. He kissed up her leg, biting down on her thigh and making her moan, and slid his hands under the elastic of her underwear, pulling it down, over her legs, past her ankles and over her feet. Then he leaned back and looked at her, drinking her in. She blushed, shifting and moving an arm to cover her bareness.

"No," he said, and pinned her arms above her head with the Force. "I want to see you."

"Then I should get to see you, too. Stand up." Her voice was low, and insistent, and he complied.

It took her a minute to free a hand – not the whole arm, just the hand – and focus enough to do what she wanted. Then, slowly, she was able to lift the bottom of his training shirt, pulling gently with just little tendrils of the Force and lifting it up, up, exposing his hard stomach, his chiseled chest. He smirked, lifted his arms to help her as she eased the shirt over his head. The she started on his trousers. That was more challenging, because there were buttons and hooks, but she was patient, and besides, she was enjoying watching as she undid the fastenings and watched the trousers slide lower and lower on his hips, exposing his hipbones and the little trail of hair that ran downward from his navel. Her eyes followed the trail lower as the trousers dropped from his hips, and a pool of wetness formed between her thighs as she looked at the hard bulge hidden only by his underclothes now. He met her eyes, reached down, rubbed along his length, and she let out a strangled gasp.

"Take them off," she hissed. He reached down, hooked his thumbs in the undershorts and slowly, tortuously, slid them down, his eyes locked with hers the whole time.

Her arms were still pinned above her head, but her hips were writhing against the floor, trying to stave off the throbbing between her legs.

"Oh, Kylo, please," she whispered, and he dropped to his knees between her legs, pushing them apart roughly, attacking her with his tongue. He licked upward, tasting her wetness, then swirled his tongue around her clit, slow circles that drove her mad. "More," she said, insistent and frantic.

He raked his fingers up her thigh and drove two into her at the same time he flicked his tongue over her clit, faster, harder.

She cried out, something between a moan and a sob.

She was so close, but he backed off, just enough, leaving her writhing, keening, on the edge of her release, close enough that she was vibrating with pleasure, but not quite falling apart.

 _I told you I was going to kiss you forever._

"Please. I'm so close."

 _I know._ She felt his low chuckle ripple up through her body, into her mind, knew he knew exactly what he was doing and was enjoying it immensely. He took her closer again, hovering at the precipice, shaking, aching.

"How long…how long are you going to do that?" She asked, riding the wave of pleasure he was sending crashing through her.

 _Until you believe that you are all I could ever want; until you see that to me you are perfection._

She whimpered, teetering on the edge. She wanted him to stop; she never wanted him to stop. She needed less; she needed more. She broke his Force hold easily and held out a hand, pulling, turning them.

 _Rey, what…?_

 _Don't stop. I just want to try something._

She remembered Poe and Jess, laughing, arguing over something. _It's damn hot_ , Poe had said. _Hmmf_ , Jess had scoffed, _Maybe if you're a man_. She and Finn had looked at the floor and blushed, and she had gotten the distinct impression that most of the conversation was some weird way for Poe to flirt with Finn. Still, Poe had said it was hot.

 _Clearly I should have spent more time poking around in Poe Dameron's brain,_ he thought to her.

She wasn't sure if an eye roll came through mentally; she thought it must.

She twisted, curled her body until they were lying curved around each other like two halves of a circle. Then she leaned close and took him into her mouth.

She felt him shudder and groan into her pussy. She sucked, savoring the feeling of his cock in her mouth while his tongue worked against her. It was almost too much stimulation, but she embraced it, all the conflicting sensations. She could tell he was holding back, trying to control himself. _Don't_ , she thought. _Fuck me like this._

He growled and thrust into her mouth, his cock filling her, bumping against the back of her throat. It was a strange feeling of pain and pleasure that brought tears to her eyes, and as he bucked against her mouth, he sped up the pace of his tongue and fingers, to the point that she knew he was finally going to let her fall over that cliff. She came hard, with his cock in her mouth, fighting to keep from biting down or pushing him out, her cries low and guttural in her throat.

 _Rey. Stop, I'm going to…_

 _I want you to._

 _I thought women didn't like that?_

 _I don't know. I don't care. I just…I want all of you. In every way._

He came, then, and she knew he wouldn't have been able to control himself if he had tried, and she drank him in, swallowed him down, hot and bitter and hers, all hers.

They lay there, panting, relishing the feeling of total bliss still flowing through them. Finally, he shifted, pulled her against his chest and wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly, desperately.

"Poe was right," she whispered. "I'll have to tell him, if…" her voice faltered, "…if I ever see him again."

They both felt the deadline looming over them.

"We need more time," he said.

She bit her lower lip. She wasn't sure if he meant time to train or just time together, but it didn't matter. It was the same, really. "I might be able to get us a few more days."

He tilted his head. "How?"

"You do know that I spent my entire childhood cannibalizing ships like this, right? I know seventeen ways off the top of my head that I could disable this thing right now."

The corner of his lip curved up in a half-smile. "You never stop amazing and delighting me, love."

"Of course, four of them would kill everyone onboard."

"Ah. Well, avoid those methods, then."

"I might have to break your ship, just a little."

"It's your ship, my love. Remember? A gift. For my queen."

She rolled her eyes, but leaned in and kissed him, long and slow and indolent, savoring the feeling of his lips and tongue.

* * *

Alarms were blaring. Lights were flashing. Phasma was hurrying down the corridor, toward the trooper in charge of this area.

"Captain." The trooper saluted sharply.

"PL-5487. What is going on?"

"We have an…issue."

"Well?" It was too fracking early in the morning for this.

"How much do you know about, ah, plumbing?"

"Not a great deal, but I'm sure I can understand if you explain the issue to me." Phasma did not have the patience for this hemming and hawing. The alarm was reverberating inside her helmet, making her head pound. And she was still angry over their losses on Geonosis. While she eschewed sentiment, she felt a strong pang of regret at losing so many good troopers. "Explain, PL-5487. Now."

"Yes ma'am. Well, a ship this size produces a great deal of, ah, waste. All the waste collects in a large tank. It's then pumped to the wastewater reclamation facility where it's separated, cleaned, purified and recycled."

She nodded. She understood the basics. "Yes. So what's the issue?"

PL-5487 continued. "The pump requires a very specific fuse to function. And the fuse, well, quite simply, the fuse blew and the pump stopped pumping sometime last night. And – permission to speak bluntly, ma'am?"

"Oh course." She gave a quick nod.

"The shitter's full. And if we don't get the pump fuse replaced within a few days, it'll start backing up into the refreshers and everyone on the lower levels will be wading through raw sewage. It's already starting to smell pretty rank on the sanitation and detention levels."

Phasma sighed, and reminded herself to check PL-5487's intelligence tests scores. "Then I suggest you replace the fuse, trooper."

"That's the real problem, ma'am. When I went to supply to get a new fuse, there weren't any. We usually keep a six-cycle supply but…they didn't have single plumbing pump fuse."

Phasma gritted her teeth. Mother-fracking-shit. Someone in supply was going to get a piece of her mind. "So we need to get new fuses." She pulled out a datapad. "What are the specs?"

PL-5487 told her and she typed them in. "Ah. We're in luck. There's a supply warehouse in this sector that stocks those. On Arkanis. I'll inform General Hux."

Phasma turned and marched away. She did not look forward to telling Hux they would have to make an unscheduled supply stop.

* * *

Kylo Ren stared at the six boxes of plumbing pump fuses in his quarters. "Why didn't you dump them out an airlock?"

"And waste them? Why, that'd have fed me for weeks."

He sighed. Would her life of deprivation ever truly leave her? He hoped he could make that so, someday. "Well, we can't exactly go down to the surface and…" What was the word his…Han Solo…had always used? "…fence them. And if anyone finds them here…"

"Okay, okay. Out the airlock." She sighed.

General Hux had informed him that morning; they would be diverting to Arkanis for an unscheduled supply stop before proceeding to the mysterious coordinates in the Unknown Regions. They would be there for two sleep cycles. He was not quite as angry as he should have been.

"Arkanis?"

She smiled, dimples dancing.

"You chose something available there on purpose, didn't you?"

Her smile widened. "Maybe."

"You wanted Hux to get to see his family."

She looked up, hazel eyes shining. "When I'm with you I'm…happy. And I want other people to be happy too. What's wrong with that?"

He pulled her to him, folded her in his arms and kissed the top of her head. "Nothing. Except, of course, he's Hux. I think he's constitutionally incapable of being happy."

She shrugged. "He warned us. About the coordinates. About how long we have. I wanted to do something nice for him. Besides, wouldn't it be pleasant for him to be, I dunno, a little less tightly wound?"

"I think it's going to take more than two nights at home for that to happen."

"It can't hurt."

* * *

"Han used to tell me stories about routes through Wild Space that, if you could find them, would take you to another galaxy."

Maz leaned close to Luke's face, adjusted her goggles. "Don't. Even. Think about it."

"What?"

"Running off to some other galaxy. Living out the rest of your life like some…ordinary joker. No, Luke Skywalker. You will stay here and embrace your destiny."

Luke sighed. "Yes, Maz."

She gave a satisfied nod. "Besides, those are just old smuggler's tales. You'd end up sucked into a black hole. Now. Goldie. Rewind the holo and play it back."

Artoo let out a series of amused beeps at 'Goldie'.

Threepio, more than a little peeved, did as he was asked.

"There! Stop." Maz ordered, near the end of the sequence. "Look, right there." She was pointing at a blurry figure in the background wearing a New Republic commander's uniform.

Leia leaned forward, squinted. "Umm, what exactly are we supposed to be seeing, Maz?"

Maz sighed. "Can't see what's right in front of their noses, these two," she grumbled. "THERE. That's the commander. The one loverboy made kneel."

Leia and Luke leaned closer to the holo. Sure enough, it was the same commander. Leia pinched the bridge of her nose. "Yes, that's him. But what's the significance…"

"He's _alive_." Maz said.

It took them a minute. Luke was the first to catch on. "They let him live. That's compassion. That's the light."

Leia looked up, hope in her eyes for the first time since Threepio had asked to speak with her. "Do you think so?" she whispered.

Luke took her small hand in both of his. "I do. I really do."

* * *

Bazine Netal stepped into the fresher. She could not wait to wash away the grit and sweat of Geonosis. _Not_ a planet she would choose as a vacation destination.

Still, she had retrieved the holovid. She had interrogated several of the governor's staff and had learned some very, _very_ interesting details – like that Kylo Ren's apprentice had nearly killed the governor – but Ren had stopped her. And that the governor had been taken prisoner.

When she had transmitted the vid and the additional information to her client, he had been pleased. _Most_ pleased. So pleased that she had the rest of the payment for the job _plus_ an extra five thousand credits in her account. And the possibility of another assignment coming up.

* * *

 **A/N**

I read a book by Stephen King called ' _On Writing'_ …really great writing advice, but one thing he said is to write about whatever you want – specifically he said if you want to write about a space plumber, write about a space plumber. And suddenly I had the chance to do exactly that! So – PL-5487. I have no idea how plumbing would work on a Star Destroyer. But we just moved into a new house with this fancy, modern septic tank that has a pump that pumps the waste from a small tank to a larger one, and it has this alarm that goes off when the tank is full, and the pump went out recently and, well, stuff started backing up and this screaming alarm went off in the middle of the night and scared the crap (no pun intended) out of all of us. And once, on a cruise, we had a lower-level cabin and they had some plumbing problems and things did not smell very good down there for a couple days. And if the idea of recycling all that stuff and reusing it grosses you out – don't google how a wastewater treatment plant works. It gets treated and released in creeks and rivers and occasionally recycled for irrigation or even as drinking water. And on the International Space Station, well, yeah. There's a lot of recycling of liquids there.

Anyone get the Batman/Justice League/Mark Hamill reference?

Gah, I didn't think I'd get this update done this week; school starts back tomorrow (yikes!) but I just really wanted to get something up before that. SO I hope you enjoyed it, and if so, please let me know. Reviews and comments are as lovely as a big glass of wine at the end of a hard day – or in the middle of a hard day. Anyway, I love hearing from you; the fact that people read what I write and enjoy it is just amazing to me!


	35. Offspring

**Offspring**

* * *

"You have brought your offspring onboard?" If there was anything stranger than the idea of Hux having children, it was actually running into three small copies of the general, walking in a row behind Hux and a regal-looking woman in a flowing shimmersilk gown that shaded from electric blue to purple to magenta as she moved down the corridor.

The general nodded, hands clasped behind his back. "They have been asking to see the ship and, as we are unavoidably delayed here, I agreed. It is not against regulations. Unlike, say, keeping a prisoner in one's private quarters." Hux sniped, his face tensing in preparation for yet another verbal sparring match. "So if you have a problem, Ren…"

The woman placed a thin, pale hand on Hux's arm and cleared her throat. His face changed from sneering to proper. "Right. Well. May I present my wife, Cressa Sindian Hux. Cressa, this is my…co-worker, Kylo Ren, and his apprentice."

Apprentice. It was wholly inadequate. Rey was so much more than that, so much more herself and so much more to him. He noticed her taking in Cressa's gown, her eyes hungry. He could feel her fingers itching to touch the vibrant, sheer material, and vowed to get her one like it. No, better. Finer. The Sindians might be an old, noble family (he knew, of course, who they were; it was a strange but common experience that he knew far more about people than they did about him) but as far as he was concerned Rey was queen of the universe. He only had to make her realize it.

The queen of the universe, meanwhile, had crouched down to talk to the small Huxes, who were trying to stand straight and solemn, in a fidgety imitation of military attention. The smallest was half-hiding behind his mother's opalescent skirts.

"Hi. I'm Rey. What are your names?"

The middle one, a sturdy boy with ruddy cheeks, spoke first. "I'm Wilhuff. I'm named for a famous general that got blowed up on the Death Star. Mother says I'm obstreperous. I think that means rowdy." He said this last bit in a loud whisper.

"Oh. Well, nice to meet you," Rey said.

The oldest boy, taller, thinner, more willowy, held out a hand for a proper handshake. "I'm Maximilian. I'm named for a general too only mine didn't get blown up. And this is Melowyn. He's not named for a general. He's just two. So he doesn't talk a lot yet."

"Nice to meet you, too." Rey grinned at Hux. "They look _just_ like you!"

He smiled, radiating pride.

Kylo coughed. "We should go. We have much work to do _." And this entire interaction is making my brain itch._

She looked up at him, her eyes shining, her face glowing. "Oh, but Kylo, look at them! They're adorable!" Her voice was wistful, and Kylo felt that _need_ emanating from her again. It did things to him. Made him want things he had never wanted before, made him feel all warm and pliable.

The boys squirmed, edging closer to Rey. The oldest whispered something to the middle one. The youngest, still a toddler, stuffed a chubby thumb in his mouth and stared at Kylo's mask with large eyes. The middle one reached out, tugged at Rey's sleeve.

She leaned in to see what the child wanted. He whispered something to her. She smiled. "Maybe. We'll have to ask your parents." She looked at Hux. "He wants to know if I know anywhere they can play? I could take them to the training room? It's padded and soundproof and safe and, well, I'd love to play with them. I haven't been around little ones since I left Jakku. I used to help some of the small ones there, showed them how to scavenge a little, shared my portions if I could…"

"May we go, Father?" Maximilian asked. The boys turned three sets of hopeful blue eyes toward their father.

Hux shifted from foot to foot. "I'm not really comfortable…"

Cressa leaned over, whispered something to him.

"Yes, but…"

She raised an elegant, highly-arched eyebrow. "Armitage."

Hux inhaled, nostrils flaring, and stiffened.

Armitage? His name was _Armitage_? Kylo Ren smirked under his mask. Oh, he would enjoy tormenting the general with that in the future.

Cressa and Hux seemed to be engaged in some sort of highly civilized, nearly-silent argument, carried out mostly through raised eyebrows and twitching lips. Finally, she spoke. "Armi. This lovely young woman, who clearly adores the children, has made a kind and generous offer."

Kylo Ren barely managed to contain a snort of laughter. _Armi_?

Hux leaned in, whispered something to her.

Cressa pursed her lips and let out an exasperated sigh. "I do not care about her…religion. I have not had a single moment to myself, away from these boys, for three lunar cycles, and for the most part, I love that, but today? Maxi and Wil have been bickering nonstop and having a contest to see who can spit the farthest, and Mel refuses to eat anything that he has to _chew_ , and he still isn't sleeping through the night. If Luke Skywalker himself showed up and offered to babysit, I'd tell him where to find the juice pouches and accept with a happy heart and a clear conscience. Besides, I have missed your company."

"But…"

She fixed him with an icy gaze.

The general turned back to Rey, who was kneeling on the floor with the three little Huxes gathered around watching with wide eyes as she levitated the toy TIE fighter Wilhuff had brought with him.

"Apprentice?"

"Yes?"

"If you are still offering to - _play_ – with my children, I accept. I will collect them in precisely two hours."

She grinned, then turned to the boys. "Come on. I'll show you our training room. It has a squishy floor and walls and you can run and jump and yell all you want to in there." She jumped up, leading them down the corridor like a row of ginger ducklings. Kylo couldn't help smiling; she was as excited as the little boys, and it was delectable.

"Can you make me fly, like the TIE fighter?" Wilhuff asked, pointing at his toy.

Rey nodded. "Uh-huh."

"Wait!" Hux shouted. "No levitating my children!"

"Oh, Armi, relax." Cressa said. "She clearly knows what she's doing. I mean, if she can handle him, she can certainly handle them."

It took Kylo a few beats to realize who she meant by _him_.

"Now. Show me to your quarters. We've wasted three minutes of our alone time already."

"Yes, dear," Hux said.

"Well?" Rey called over her shoulder to Kylo. "Are you coming or are you going to stand there like a statue?"

Hux looked at Kylo and a strange understanding connected the two men for a moment.

* * *

They had been playing a strange game of Force-freeze-tag; Rey's invention. Kylo had allowed himself to be sucked in, unable to resist her glowing enthusiasm. When one of the boys was 'caught', Kylo, leaning against a wall and not joining the rough-housing, 'froze' him, and Rey had to 'unfreeze' him. Then it was that boy's turn to be 'it' and tag the others so they could be frozen. When the two hours were up, Rey and the little boys were sweaty and pink-cheeked and giggling. The mini-Huxes were clearly enamored with Rey, and, Kylo thought, who could blame them? He had loved her since the first moment he had seen her; why would these small boys be any different? They hugged her before they left, and then to Kylo Ren's great shock, the smallest one walked over to him and wrapped his tiny, soft little arms around his knees and hugged him too, giving his leg a little pat before scurrying off to hide behind his mother's skirts. Kylo, maskless in the confines of the training room, just stood there, frozen, blinking. He wasn't sure he had ever been hugged by a child in his life.

It was a strangely sweet, cozy sensation.

After Hux picked up his small duplicates, it was time to focus again. Rey and Kylo spent the day working on defensive powers, ways to protect oneself against attacks by others. It had been a long day and they had not taken any real breaks, just stopping to drink water and eat rations in the training room. The hours had flown by, the day was long since over, and there was so much more to do.

"Do you think…do you think we'll need all this?" Rey asked, as she struggled to stave off a Force Stun for the fifth time. Her voice was small and quivery.

Kylo wasn't sure how the audience would go; he only had his own previous encounters with his master to go on. "I don't know. I just want you to be as prepared as possible. If there's one constant with the Supreme Leader, it's that he's unpredictable. It's one way he keeps the upper hand; keeping his underlings disoriented and confused, never sure what's coming next…" he trailed off, his breath catching in his throat, his eyes going a little unfocused.

Rey laid a hand on his arm, stepped in front of him so she was looking into his eyes. Steadied him; brought him back to the present.

She sighed. "Kylo?"

"Hmm?"

"How…how did Snoke try to teach you Force Lightning? You wouldn't tell me before but…I think we need to consider every possibility."

He laughed, but without humor. "That won't help us."

"Why?"

"Rey. It's late." Kylo looked at the chrono on the wall. "Past midnight. We should go. Eat. Rest."

"Tell me. Please."

He was silent, his posture rigid. "I'll tell you. But only after you eat something."

She nodded. "Okay."

* * *

The Officer's Club was empty; military efficiency and late-night revelry didn't mix, so the club closed early every night except the last night off the week. Rey looked around. It was decorated in shades of black and gray with red accents, like the rest of the ship, but the soft lighting, plush, exotic rugs and deep carmine curtains warmed the space, made it less sterile.

Kylo walked behind the bar, into the kitchen. Rey followed. "Do you do this often?"

He shook his head. "Not in years. When I first…came here…once I realized I could roam the corridors freely, I explored. My movements had been severely restricted during the time I spent with…during my initial training. So being able to just wander…it was a luxury. My quarters at the time were smaller and did not have a kitchen and, well, I was still growing, and I was always hungry. I discovered this place, and found that the kitchen was always stocked. So I'd come here and make myself a sandwich or eat a hunk of cake. No one seemed to care. But I outgrew it." As he talked, he had been retrieving items from the large durasteel conservator and piling them on the metal table in the middle of the kitchen. He sliced two large rolls and started piling them high with seasoned meat, cheese, vegetables and herbed oil. "There." He handed Rey an enormous sandwich.

She took it, turned it a few times and then leaned over the table and took a huge bite. "Mmmmm."

"Like it?"

She nodded, mumbling between bites. "So good!"

They ate in silence, standing over the table. Rey devoured the food, losing herself to the delicious mix of flavors and textures. When they were done, they chugged several bottles of juice from the conservator.

"So, umm…"

"Soon," he said, walking into the bar section. It was only then that she noticed he had barely touched his sandwich.

He looked over the selection of liquors, lifting bottles of variously-colored intoxicating liquids. When he touched a bottle of amber liquor, he snatched his hand back as if he had been burned. _Corellian Whiskey._ A scene flickered across the bond – _a seedy cantina, Han Solo, thinner, tanner, with darker hair and brighter eyes, pouring a small amount of the amber liquid into a glass, passing it across the table, winking. 'Don't tell your mother'_.

He grabbed the bottle, twisted off the cap and took a long swig. "For Han Solo," he said, slamming the bottle down on the bar. Then he spun, raised a hand and, with a wave and a burst of Force power, flung the rest of the liquor bottles off the shelf, sending them crashing to the floor.

Rey jumped. She tested the bond. Nothing. Whatever thoughts were in his head, he didn't care to share them. She was almost glad. She had seen this before, when it happened and in Kylo's mind – Han Solo's face, pleading. His words, desperate, hopeful – replaced by another voice. The light saber passing through Han as the last light from the sun faded.

" _That's_ how he tried to teach me."

She looked at him, confused. "I don't…"

"Han Solo."

"He thought you hated your father so much that killing him would help you?"

He laughed that mirthless laugh again. "No. It was not Han Solo he intended for me to despise."

She bit her lip, searched his face. The bond was back. Weak, guarded, but back, and he was remembering as well. She felt through the bond. Hatred was there, certainly. But not for Han. "Oh."

She looked at him. _It's not okay._

 _I know._

He did. She could feel it. Remorse.

 _Weakness._ She could feel his disgust at the word, at himself.

 _No. Humanity. If it wasn't there I wouldn't be here._ She took the bottle, held it to her lips and took a drink. _For Han._

He took the bottle from her and drank again.

"After…everything…I remember being hauled to a transport by Stormtroopers. Hux. Having my wounds minimally tended. Taken somewhere…another dark planet. Dragged to an audience chamber. Punished. That's when I first felt…you. You were there with me."

"I remember," she whispered. That night, what she had thought was a dream, a nightmare; the pain, the terror…

"I don't know how long that lasted. But finally, I was told it was time to complete my training." His voice was bitter. "My _master_ told me…he had a _gift_ for me. Something that would allow me to reach my full potential. I wanted that. I needed it, because as it was I was barely holding myself together. I had always thought my…Han Solo…hated me. Feared me. Was disappointed in me. Once my powers manifested – when I couldn't control them – the way he looked at me…he spent more and more time away, more and more time with others, pilots, racers. I knew he wished I was like them, but I wasn't. Couldn't be. So he wished I had never been born. I knew this to be true. Or I thought I did."

Rey gulped, apprehension trickling through her. "What was the gift?" She asked, eyes searching his face.

"My memories. Unaltered."

She furrowed her brow. "Unaltered?" She kept searching his face.

"Han Solo was a…mediocre father."

She started to interrupt, to tell him what she would have given for a mediocre father, for a neglectful one, even, but he held up a hand.

"That is not an insult. It is…the opposite. He was like most. Not wonderful, but also not terrible. He…did not really know how to be a father. Perhaps because he never had one himself. Or simply because of his nature. And he _was_ afraid of the Force, of my powers, but not because he feared or hated _me_ ; because he didn't understand it, didn't know how to deal with it, and he feared _for_ me. I did not see it because…because I saw things through the lens of Snoke's influence. I had since I was very young. Until after I…well, that was the gift." He looked away, eyes fixed on the middle distance. "It's called memory walk; one of the Supreme Leader's favorite techniques – to drag a person through all their worst memories, make them experience them again, over and over. He had done it to me many times, made me re-live all the ways Han Solo let me down, disappointed me, didn't want me. Wished to get rid of me so he could have my mother to himself. Only this time – I lived the memories as they must have really been; saw them from a different point of view. Saw that he was a flawed, floundering father; casually negligent, yes, but not cruel or resentful or uncaring. And then…I was in _that_ moment, trapped there, repeating it over and over. Knowing…"

She sucked in a sharp breath.

"I – never wanted to do it. It was an order that I had run from for years. And that day, finally, I gave in. I thought I had to, I thought it would…well. It does not matter. What I thought was wrong. Warped. And…and then…then I found out it was all based on distortion. And he made me relive it, to make me angry, to make me _hate_. It went on and on, I kept repeating that act, he wouldn't release me, wouldn't relent…it was so real, like I was doing it all over again, looking into those eyes, my father's eyes, hearing those words, that voice, and igniting the lightsaber anyway, hearing it hum to life, seeing the agony on his face, smelling the burning flesh, feeling his hand touch my cheek - but knowing the truth. It hurt. Physically hurt. I was glad for the pain, because I did hate, more than I ever had before. Myself. My master. I hated. But not enough. Not enough to be free of the light, the conflict. It was worse than ever. Not enough to attain any new powers…so many he expected me to master after that, not just lightning. I think…I think perhaps I didn't let my powers grow then out of spite." He stared off, into nothing. "It did not work. The Supreme Leader was…beyond anger. Livid. Incensed. He showed me…the powers I should be able to use. Lightning. Crucitorn. Force drain, at a level I didn't know existed. Force Destruction."

She walked around the room, picking up items, turning them over and over in her hands, appraising them, as if trying to decide whether or not they had value. Finally, she came back to him. "You didn't want to do it."

"Want to? Never. So many things I never wanted to do, but that most of all."

She nodded. It still didn't make it okay, nothing would, but it meant something. She didn't know what to say, but hoped he felt some small release from the grip it held on him. The forgiveness and absolution he sought wasn't hers to give, but she gave what she could. "He loved you."

He sighed. "I know."

"But you didn't before."

"No."

He still refused to look at her. He was breathing heavily, but some of the swirling red anger and black self-loathing was gone. "I had always believed what _he_ wanted me to believe. He was using me. Han Solo was right. His words stayed with me. And you. You stayed with me. I felt you and I…I cared. I think perhaps that's the only thing that held me together, then. And now." _Rey. I need…_

 _What?_

 _Just that. I need._

She wrapped her arms around his waist, and he encircled her with his, and they stood there for a long time. Anger rippled through her. Anger and possessiveness and fear. This monster, this Snoke, would try to keep him. Would try to take him from her. Would try to manipulate him, twist his thoughts, tear them apart. And she would not allow that. She would _not_. Finally she looked up at him. "You know I love you, right?"

"Yes. Of course."

She reached up, caught his chin in her hand. "Do you _know_?" Her eyes bored into his.

He nodded. "Yes."

"Because you have to. You have to know. Without a doubt. I love you. All of you, forever. I want you. I need you. And I'll never, ever let you go." She gritted her teeth, tears squeezing out of her eyes. "Do you _know_?" Her voice was fierce.

"I know, Rey. I know. For the first time, with you – I don't doubt. I know. He can't do anything to make me doubt you." A look crossed his face, fear, terror as a thought occurred to him. He clasped her hands in his, pulling her close. "You have to know, too. No matter what he…says or…makes you think – because it feels real. So real. What he can do…it is powerful. It's easy to get…lost. He'll try…he'll try to pit us against one another. I feel it. And we'll have to hold on, to each other. You know how I love you, right?"

She nodded against their clasped hands.

He nudged her face up to look at his. "Do you really?" And she felt all he felt, washing across the bond and through her, so much, so intense, love and anger and fear and desperation and aching, keening need.

"Yes," she whispered, her eyes never leaving his.

"Rey, no matter what happens, no matter what you think or feel, hold on to me. Please. Hold on to me."

"I will. And you do the same. If he…if he tries to twist things, just remember this…" she let all her feelings flow freely across the bond, too, her fierce love, her determination, her loyalty. "And this." And she sent images now, images of them, together, connected physically and mentally, one after another…the first time, in the rain and soft glowing light on Kamino; the lush, beautiful room on Takodana, her quarters, his shuttle…oh, that time, when their connection had been so intense it had pulled that 'I love you' from her mind…the time on the shuttle again, on the way here, when he had kissed every bit of her, claimed her. The first time in his quarters. Every day, every night after that. And quieter times, just holding one another, or eating, talking, laughing. Simply being together.

He joined her, sending images back, forming a loop, the same events from his point of view, and others – the early encounters, when they fought their way away from everyone, found somewhere out of the way and switched off their lightsabers and he ripped her clothes off, so desperate for her; those late nights in his quarters when he reached for her in half-sleep, weak, needing, and she accepted him; the training room, when he taught her to escape from Force Stasis; his quarters after Geonosis when they were both still pulsing with dark power.

It all flowed between them, so many images, and underneath it all, a ferocious, insistent love.

"Rey? Look." He gestured with his chin toward their hands.

She looked down just in time to see a small spark flicker and die on the tips of their clinging fingers. She gasped. He pulled his hand away, just a few millimeters, then a little more, a little more, and the sparks grew, crackled, flowed between their hands before fading.

She looked up at him and grinned. "We did it!"

"Well. A bit. But yes. We can build on this."

She looked up at him, eyes locked with his. "Yes. We can do this. We can be invincible. We can _win_."

He leaned down, arms encircling her, pulling her as close as possible, his lips brushing hers, gentle only for a moment and then kissing her with a desperation, a hunger, that washed over and through her. He bent her head back, kissed down her throat, biting and sucking with bruising intensity.

"We will win," he hissed against her throat.

* * *

 **A/N**

Wow, that ended up being a long chapter! Some fluff with the little Huxes, and some serious angst in this one. No sexy times, but lots of desperate love.

I've been trying to write a scene where Rey and Kylo really deal with Han's death since early in this story, and it never seemed like the right time, it never worked, but I felt like they needed to deal with it, and it finally fit. I hope it worked; I hope I did it justice. Han was my first _Star Wars_ crush, back when I was a grubby little kid having pretend light-saber battles with my dumb cousins, and I still cry if I watch the bridge scene – for Han and for Kylo. I don't think Han was father of the year, but I don't think he was a total ass, either. And I don't think Kylo wanted to kill him. I mean, look at their faces. Han and Leia failed their child, that's clear, but I do think they loved him. They just weren't enough. I get that.

Confession: I went back and re-read some previous chapters to remind myself of what I had written before, and noticed so many typos/autocorrect errors I missed. I am so sorry! Gah, I used to be so meticulous, but now my eyes are not as good as they used to be, and I'm always in a hurry, and I'm scatterbrained, so I'm sorry for the errors. Writing is my guilty pleasure and helps keep me sane, but I tend to always be rushing to post chapters and so I miss things. Thank you all for reading anyway, and overlooking that, and know how much you all mean to me – every hit, follow, fave, and, of course, review means the world to me!


	36. Dawn

**Dawn**

* * *

It was morning. The lights were slowly coming up, creating an artificial dawn that was meant to keep the circadian rhythms of life forms functioning while in the endless night of space.

He lay very still, feeling Rey breathe against his chest, in sync with his own breathing. She was still soundly asleep, lips parted, snoring lightly, eyes fluttering under her eyelids, body warm and soft and limp, her arm and leg draped over him. She always slept like that, using him as a giant pillow. He never asked why, afraid she would think he didn't like it – and he did. He did like it. More than he thought he should. Kylo Ren shouldn't like to cuddle. But he did. Having her insist on touching him as much as possible when she slept soothed a part of him that he had thought long dead.

 _'Ben, this is the fourth night in a row you've come in here in the middle of the night.'_

 _'I think there's something in my room. In the corner. It has black eyes and they_ _ **watch**_ _me.'_

 _'You just had a bad dream. Go back to bed.'_

 _'Can't I stay here? Please? I won't take up much room.'_

 _'You're five. Way too old to crawl in bed with your parents. Now off with you before you wake your father.'_

 _'But Mommy, please! I don't wanna go back. It's dark and cold and the thing…'_

 _A deeper, gruffer voice. 'Go to_ _ **bed**_ _, kid. Now.'_

 _He crept back to his room, wishing for the cozy warmth of his parents' bed, the soft caress of his mother's hand on his back. But he was a big boy, too old for cuddling, so he wrapped himself in a blanket and curled in a ball and screwed his eyes tight shut in the hopes of keeping whatever lurked in the corners_ _ **out**_ _._

"Shhh. I'm here now." He hadn't realized she was awake, or that he was projecting. She shifted so she was even closer, warm silky skin rubbing against his, her breath tickling his chest. "I'm here, and I'm never leaving." _I need this as much as you do._

 _And he saw a tiny girl, also curled in a ball inside a blanket….a dingy, threadbare blanket, in a corner on the floor, silent tears leaking from her eyes as she stared through a crack in the metal of the old AT-AT, looking up at the stars and wondering where her family was, and why they hadn't come back yet. Why they didn't want her._

He tightened his arms around her. "They would have come for you if they could have."

"But they sent me away, to the Academy."

"I know. And you felt…"

"Discarded."

"Betrayed."

"Unwanted."

"You'll never feel that way again," he said pressing soft kisses on the top of her head, against her hair, on her temple.

"Neither will you," she whispered, kissing his chest, shifting so she could nuzzle against his neck.

An insistent, familiar knock at the door interrupted their reverie. Kylo sighed, untangling himself from Rey, grabbing a robe and smacking the opening mechanism with more vigor than necessary.

"Ren."

"Armi." He smirked.

Hux snarled. "I have come to inform you we will be entering hyperspace momentarily. Our ETA to our _destination_ is five standard days. Your presence on the bridge is required."

"Ah. I see. Thank you."

The general stayed there, shifting from foot to foot. Hovering.

"Is there something else?"

General Hux stuck his hand out, shoving a piece of flimsiplast out to Kylo Ren. "Here. My son wanted you to have this," he said, not making eye contact with his dark associate.

Kylo looked down at the small picture the general had foisted on him. It was…a picture of him? Or at least, a tall, dark column with sticklike arms and legs and a round head. "What is this?"

"A picture. Mellowyn insisted I give this to 'the big one'. That would be you. I have another," the general held out another picture, this one of a smiling face framed by brown curlicues that must have represented hair. "He said this was for 'the pretty one'.

Kylo took the two pieces of flimsi and held them awkwardly. "Why has your offspring produced drawings of us?"

"He is two. He likes to color. It is a gift. A sort of…thank you gift."

"Ah. Well. Then please express our appreciation to him."

Hux nodded, still not making eye contact. "I will do so. Good day, Ren." And he turned on his heel and walked away.

"What's that?" Rey asked as the door slid closed.

"It appears the small Hux has created artwork for us."

Rey took the flimsis, her face lighting up in a grin. "Aww. How sweet! It's us!" She turned toward the kitchen and, rummaging in a drawer, found a magnet and attached the two pictures to the front of the conservator.

"We're displaying them?"

"They're precious!" She was looking at the pictures, her eyes shining, her cheeks glowing pink, a wide smile on her lips.

He was looking at her, only her, standing in his kitchen, wrapped in a blanket, her beautiful face glowing with happiness. "Yes. Precious." He said.

* * *

"General? General Organa? I have important intelligence reports for you. Urgent."

Leia sighed. "What now, Threepio?"

"Well, it seems the First Order is massing their fleet."

"Massing their fleet?" A surge of adrenaline shot through her, years of being on high alert kicking in.

"Yes, ma'am. Our resources have picked up a pattern in the movements of the ships whose locations we know."

"Where are they heading? Here?" She would have to implement one of the worst-case-scenarios. Ten…or eleven? Her heart contracted and her limbs felt heavy.

"No. At some point in the Unknown Regions. Almost all of their ships are on a trajectory to reach the same coordinates at the same time."

Not coming here. Not the worst case scenario. Air rushed out of her lungs.

"When?"

"In three days."

Three days. They had time. Time to plan. Time to do something. Time to finally try to make it right. "Show me."

"Artoo?" Threepio said, and the smaller droid beeped and projected a star chart. "If you look at this map, you'll see the ships for which we have known locations. And you'll see that they're all converging on this point, and should all arrive at about the same time…three days from now. Except this one." He pointed at a single ship that seemed to be on the same course but behind the others.

"The Finalizer," she said grimly.

"Why yes, ma'am. How did you know?"

"Scenario four. They're planning a mutiny. And the Order is on to them. Frack. Call the select committee; we need to meet. Now. And have Dameron put Black Squadron on alert."

"Yes, _ma'am_! And ma'am? I'm glad to see you… _back_." If droids could purr, Threepio would have been purring.

She chuckled. "Do you know what I would like to do, Threepio?"

"Hear the rest of my meticulously prepared report, ma'am?"

"I'd like to find my younger self and kick her ass. Drinking whatever those Ewoks handed her. _Smoking_ whatever those Ewoks handed her. I'd have a lot less problems if I had just gone to bed early instead of partying. We partied for days, Threepio. _Days_."

"Yes, ma'am. I was there."

"And Han was so convincing. So charming. So persistent. Of course I married him. I loved him. So much. And he loved me; I know he did. But we…we had no idea what we were doing. And suddenly we were leaders and, kriff, Threepio, we were just kids and we were expected to fix the whole damn galaxy. And then we were _having_ a kid. A baby. I was so happy, but I didn't realize…the time. The commitment. I was pulled in so many directions and…well, if only I had done things differently…things wouldn't be such shit now."

"Are we discussing feces now, ma'am?"

Leia (Skywalker) Organa Solo, last Princess of Alderaan, royalty by birth and adoption, war hero, senator, general, looked at her droid companion. "Precisly, Threepio. Fracking, kriffing feces. That's what everything is right now. But I'm going to try; this time, I'm going to try to do it right. "

"Yes ma'am. May I proceed with contacting the committee now?"

The worst thing about droids was that they simply had not sense of awkwardness. Of course, that was also the best thing about them.

"Proceed, Threepio." She smiled, and this time it was sincere. Leia could finally, finally do something to help, and she was in her element.

* * *

"If you're ever going to help, now would be the time."

Rey stood with her arms folded across her chest, a scowl on her face, staring at Darth Vader's helmet. She wasn't even sure why; she had just wandered into the small chamber, almost unconsciously. Of course, she didn't really expect an answer from the helmet. She wasn't even sure Kylo had ever gotten an answer from it, and if he had she doubted it was Anakin Skywalker doing the 'answering'. But, just the same, she was standing there, staring down what remained of Darth Vader. The helmet was warped, twisted – like the man who had once worn it. But according to Luke, he had died as Anakin, not Vader. Was any part of him really connected to this remnant?

She huffed in exasperation. This was dumb. She was just on edge; that was all. And being in this chamber didn't help. She glanced at the low urn. It made her feel ill at ease. She took a step closer, held out a hand toward it. A sense of dread oozed through her, a dark foreboding as her hand neared the soft gray ashes. She snatched her hand back, and decided to ask Kylo what exactly it was when he returned from the bridge; he was still expected to make an appearance there sometimes, although almost all his other time was spent with Rey, training or…not.

Her gaze returned the helmet. She reached out her hand, this time feeling no warning prickle. She barely touched her finger to the side of the helmet. "No words of wisdom? No 'here's the secret to defeating a dark overlord'? Right. No worries. I'll manage." As she turned to leave the chamber, she felt something. If a whisper were a physical thing, that's what she felt. A whisper, touching her arm.

"Wait."

She froze. Then she spun around, to the right, the left, looking. No one was there.

"You can…hear me…" The voice wasn't a voice so much as a perception.

She nodded.

"Finally." The word formed without sound.

She backed against the wall.

"Tell him…been trying…to get through but…" The voice was barely there; no, it wasn't there, and yet she heard it, felt it, writing the words on her consciousness.

"You've been trying? To speak to him?"

"So long. Only managed once and…incomplete. Misunderstood. Couldn't…too much darkness… until you…" The voice was fading, weak.

"Wait, come back! Stay, until he gets here! It would mean so much."

"I'll try…again. But I can't…save him. You…you're…his…only hope." The shadow of a voice faded away to nothing.

"Great. Thanks. No pressure." She slid down the wall, heart pounding.

When Kylo returned to his quarters, he found Rey sitting in the corner of his meditation chamber, her knees pulled up to her chest, her eyes huge.

"Rey, what are you doing in here?" His voice was low, his eyes dark. She suddenly realized she had never exactly been invited into this chamber.

"I…I shouldn't have come in here. I'm sorry. It's private, I know and…I didn't mean to pry…"

He hurried to her, knelt beside her and pulled her close "No. Nothing I have is closed to you. I just never wanted to have to explain…but what happened? Why are you so upset?"

"You wouldn't believe it if I told you." And she replayed the scene over the bond.

When it was over, he sank into a sitting position beside her. His hands were shaking. "He…spoke to you."

"He's been trying to speak to you, but he couldn't. He said there was too much darkness."

Kylo leaned his head against the wall. "Too much darkness. So my uncle was telling the truth about him returning to the light. All this time I've been seeking his guidance to find the power of the dark, and he could only get through to you, to the light. My light. My beautiful light."

She shook her head. "I have darkness, too. We both do. And light. But…it doesn't have to define us."

He nodded, lost in thought.

There was something else, something that was bothering her. "Kylo? What...what's in the urn?"

He took in a deep breath. "I'd rather not…"

"I need to know. Are they…his? Your grandfather's? Because I feel such…dread from them. Such bleak hopelessness. But not from the…the helmet."

He shook his head. "No. They are not."

"Then what…"

He clenched his teeth. "They are the ashes of…my enemies."

A look of horror crossed her face. Ashes of his enemies? As in, people? She pressed herself away from the urn. "Enemies. People you…you killed."

"Yes. Rey, I…it doesn't even make sense to me when I say it. Can we please just not?"

"Why? Why would you keep…"

"To enhance my power, my connection to the dark. And I felt darkness from them, strong, pulling me down. I thought it was helping."

"Yes. I feel it. Sinister. Dark. Deep. But not helpful. I don't…I don't like it. I don't like being here with them."

He nodded.

"Was it Snoke who told you to keep the…the remains?" Her voice cracked.

"Yes."

"They have to go."

"I…yes." He looked at the urn. "I'm not sure what to…how to…"

"When someone dies onboard, just a regular crew member, what happens to them?"

"Cremation. Then burial in space. Released out an airlock with a small ceremony."

She nodded. "Then that's what we'll do."

"We? You'll help?"

"Of course."

"Then tonight." They were silent for a while. Then he looked at the helmet again. "I…he spoke to me. Once. Right after I acquired the helmet. I had already joined Snoke, embraced the dark side, but I was still…conflicted. Tormented by guilt and uncertainty. The helmet was supposed to help me, give me purpose. When I touched it…it was like what you experienced…words with meaning but no form…he said I was supposed to…to finish what he started. I had been searching for guidance for so long. The Supreme Leader…"He sighed. "Said that grandfather wanted me to pick up where he left off. Bring order to the galaxy. Stamp out the Jedi, who limited the Force. Bring back the Empire. He said it with such certainty, such conviction, so many times, I felt sure he was right. But I kept reaching out to grandfather, asking, begging for guidance. I wanted to hear it from him. I wish…"

"He said he would try to come back. I…I think touching it helps?"

"And you being here." He turned, reached out and traced a hand reverently across the helmet's brow, down the cheek. "Grandfather?"

The voice floated on the air, rippling through the room on not-quite-sound-waves. "Ben. At last. I've been trying…need to tell you…what I meant…"

He gulped. "Wh…what?"

"Finish…what I started…didn't mean…"

The words wavered, but came back.

"…didn't mean the Empire."

He clutched Rey's hand; his breath was coming in fast gasps. "Then what…what did it mean?"

"Balance. Bring…balance."

"Yes. Yes, grandfather. But how?"

"Do…what you are planning. I wish…I had been strong enough…to do that…sooner. Use both…dark, light, together…with her…balance…may the…Force…be with you…both."

The voice was gone. Kylo was still, kneeling in the chamber where he had begged so many times for strength. For guidance. And now he had gotten it and it wasn't what he expected at all. It wasn't a path to deeper, more consuming darkness. But it wasn't a strict order to turn back to the light or be lost forever, either. It was…so much more complicated. To use the light and the dark, to embrace both…to bring balance.

He was still clutching Rey's hands, and she was clinging to his, and they were both silent, reverent, soaking in the strange, profound experience.

* * *

 **A/N**

It's so fluffy I could die! Yes, lots of fluff at the beginning of this one; I was just in that kind of mood. It might have turned smutty, but Galactic Cockblock showed up, with perfect timing as usual.

Little Ben just wanted to cuddle…and escape the scary thing watching him. If only they had let him. (My kids crawled in the bed with us until they were, like, eight? Yeah. They'd go to bed in their own little beds, but most nights, especially when they were small, they'd end up in our room. And I let them. But I found out most people _strongly_ disapproved of that. And did it help or hurt? I dunno yet.)

Thanks to JuliaAurelia for the idea of Mellowyn coloring a picture for Kylo, and for talking about what to do about the ashes with me.

Leia's desire to give her younger self a good talking-to is loosely based on Carrie Fisher's similar comment (and her wonderfully perfect swearing) at the _Force Awakens_ premiere. Because I love her.

I can't seem to avoid a bit of Force Ghost Anakin in my stories. He'll be back briefly but won't be a big character in this story like he is in my other one.

Thank you for reading! It thrills me to no end that people enjoy my story, my interpretation of these amazing characters, and the words I put on the page. I'm so honored, especially when you tell me; reviews make my day (or night)!


	37. Equilibrium

**Equilibrium**

* * *

 _*If you're bothered by descriptions of violence/abuse/pain, you might want to skip some of the Leia section. You'll know when to stop reading…she gives a very clear warning._

* * *

"You want us to do _what-now_?" Poe was standing under his X-Wing, gaping at her. Finn, who was never far from Poe these days, put a hand on Poe's shoulder. BB-8 rolled against his leg and beeped. The rest of Black Squadron was milling about, seeing to their ships, waiting to see what sort of mission General Organa had for them this time.

"You heard me," Leia said, voice low and calm.

Poe clenched his jaw. His tone was deferential, but his words verged on insubordination. "I did. And with all due respect, ma'am, I request that this mission be assigned to another squadron. Blue can handle it."

Leia frowned. Blue Squadron was good, but Black Squadron was the best. And this mission needed – no _required_ – the best. "Request denied," she said, turning to go. He was a soldier and he would follow orders, even if he didn't particularly like them.

"Wait."

She stopped, turned, giving him a sharp look. Her trusted friend. Her most skilled pilot.

"General, I just…you want us to provide an…escort? For…the _Finalizer_?" Tension flickered over Poe's face when he said the name of the ship.

"Not exactly an escort. Shadow it. Stay out of sight. There's a ringed planet in the system they're heading to; hide there. Don't reveal yourselves unless they're attacked by the rest of the fleet or you get the order from me. I think…I think they're walking into a trap."

Poe rolled his shoulders. Leia could feel the conflict pouring off of him; the ingrained habit of following orders, especially her orders; his trust of her; the fear and anger he felt toward her son; the deeply buried trauma of his captivity.

"They? You mean Kylo Ren?"

Leia swallowed hard. He had to call him _that_. "And Rey." She darted her eyes to Finn.

He nodded, squeezed Poe's shoulder. "We have to help Rey. She's one of us," he said.

Poe shook his head, chewed his lip. Clenched and unclenched his fists.

Leia crossed her arms. "Poe Dameron, if you take this opportunity to freak out for the first time in your life I swear…"

"I'm not going to freak out."

Finn nodded. "Not gonna freak out."

Poe glanced at Finn. "I just said that."

Finn gave a sheepish grin. "I was telling myself."

Poe looked at Finn, nodded, then turned back to Leia. "I'm sorry. I care about Rey. I do. But I just…I have…serious misgivings about this mission. You're asking me to put my squadron on the line for…for a madman." He held up his hands as she started to speak. "I know, I know. I remember who he used to be. I know you believe there's still light in him, and I hope you're right but…I don't want to take the chance that any of my people have to endure…" he trailed off.

"Poe." She placed a hand on his arm. "I don't know exactly what happened while you were held prisoner. But I can guess. And I know…better than anyone…the damage that did."

He gave her a skeptical smirk.

She sighed. She was going to have to do something she really didn't want to do, but she _needed_ Poe. Maybe, if he knew she really did understand… "Come with me." She jerked her head, directing them to the pilot's lounge. Jess and Snap and several other pilots were there, lounging, eating those cheap dehydrated noodles that seemed to be a staple of every pilot's diet, watching holonews, questioning each other's sexual prowess.

"Puh-leeeeze. You couldn't find it with a friggin' star chart and an R2 unit," Jess was saying.

"Kids, we need the room," Leia said softly, and they all made a polite exit.

"Sit," she said, gesturing Poe and Finn toward a battered table and chairs. She walked over to the caf machine, poured three cups, hot and dark and steaming, carried them to the table and sat across from them. She pushed a cup toward each man, picked up her own and blew on it. She noticed the door was open, sighed, lifted a hand and gave a soft wave and the door closed. Poe and Finn's eyes widened. She shrugged, held her hands palms-up in a gesture of surrender. "I'm tired. I'm old. And I doubt knowing I can do that will make anything worse right now." She sipped the caf, made a face at the cheap, bitter swill the pilots drank.

"I've never told anyone about this except Han and Luke," she said, her eyes boring into Poe's. "But I think…I think you need to know." Another sip of the strong, hot liquid. "I'm going to tell you about the Death Star."

She sat her cup carefully on the table and stared into the dark liquid. "I was…" Her voice hitched a little… "smuggling plans for the Death Star back to the rebel alliance when my ship was captured by Imperial forces. I managed to sneak the plans off the ship with Artoo, but I was taken prisoner. Taken to the very battle station I had been carrying plans for. Held prisoner there. Tortured by interrogator droids and…Darth Vader. I had managed to keep my composure until then; I was young and full of sass. But when _he_ came in with that _thing_ …I just…I felt this power, this cold, deep, darkness. It seemed to suck in all the air and light. I started shaking. I couldn't stop. And the droid…an IT-O, they called it…I had heard of them, but I didn't know…I didn't realize they really existed. It was this black sphere, just bristling with…devices. And programmed with all the horrors life forms have learned to inflict on each other. And it…it hummed. This loud, low hum. I hear that hum in my nightmares." She could hear it now, in the back of her mind, humming, buzzing, louder and louder as it closed in. She gritted her teeth; felt clammy fear-sweat form under her armpits.

"It injected me with something…it had a needle about this long," she held her hands about fifteen centimeters apart, "and it…it jammed it right into my chest. It felt like ice and fire and broken glass and this strange liquid heat…right into my heart and into my veins and…it intensified everything. Fear. Pain. Vision…it made things blur and waver, then get sharp, sharp like knives and brighter than a sun. I felt like I was on fire from the inside out. Then he…Vader…he just kept asking, so calmly, as if we were sitting there having tea…where the rebel base was. But I didn't answer. Even when he did something…used the Force to try and compel me to tell him, even when it made my brain ache and my eyeballs feel like they were going to explode, I didn't. I held out. I didn't know how, then. I do now." She gave a grim smile. She knew so much more now. She dug her nails into the surface of the table, scraping them across the polycarbonate.

Poe and Finn were silent, eyes wide, so still they seemed to be barely breathing.

"So they used the droid again. It had these…nerve probes. Little needles that stimulated the nerves with electric shocks. Made the muscles spasm and contract and contort while electric current just…sizzled along the nerve endings, blazing hot and stinging cold at the same time." She remembered…she had sworn she wouldn't cry. Wouldn't beg. Wouldn't scream. Promises that she had broken one by one, tears falling from her eyes unheeded, screams and pleas falling from her lips against her will as she writhed on the cold metal bench. Sweat beading on her forehead, dripping down her temples, her neck, in the crevice between her breasts. The acrid scent of fear thick in the cell. "It started with my legs. Then my arms. I remember almost passing out. I would have, but the drug wouldn't let me." She could still feel it, the needles, the zap, the muscles contracting until she thought they would snap her bones, then releasing only to be zapped again, tightening into knots, twitching and jolting. "The worst was my spine…it used a longer needle for that. I felt it slide between my vertebrae and then…my back arched and I felt the current all the way to my fingers and toes. So cold it burned, zapping and snapping everywhere." Pain racing along the nerve endings again and again, sweat beading on her forehead, her upper lip, even though she felt cold as ice. Her body trembling uncontrollably. Time stuttering to a stop as the world spun and her stomach heaved. "And he just kept asking, so calm. Bored, even."

She clenched her fists, her short nails digging into her palms. Her face was white and she was shaking a little.

"General?"

Her breathing was ragged and fast. "Later…I don't know how much later – time sort of got blurry - they marched me to the bridge." She remembered standing there, legs quivering, weak and rubbery, face defiant. "Made me watch while my home planet was destroyed. Sentenced me to execution. I was sitting in my cell, waiting for Vader to come kill me, when Han and Luke showed up and helped me escape. At the time I was strangely calm. Like I was just waiting for an appointment. But I still have nightmares…" She trailed off, her eyes unfocused for a few seconds. She took a long, steadying breath, reached for her caf. Gripped her cup in both hands and brought it to her lips, sipping the cooling liquid inside without tasting it, slowly coming back to the room.

"Holy shit," Finn said. Apparently his job as a Stormtrooper hadn't included much time spent in the detention blocks.

"General, I…I had no idea," Poe whispered. All the blood had drained from his face, and his knuckles were white as he gripped Finn's hand.

She looked at the two men in front of her. Finn was rubbing his other hand over Poe's back, soothing him. She wondered if Poe had nightmares; she wondered if he woke up screaming and drenched in sweat in the middle of the night. She wondered if Finn had seen that yet, wondered if he held Poe and spoke in a soothing voice and got him a glass of water because his throat was dry, so dry. Wondered if his hands were as gentle as Han's had been, his eyes as kind, when the only safe place was in the arms of someone you loved. Not that it was any of her business, of course. But she hoped so.

She remembered the first time Han had heard her screaming. They were in the _Falcon_ , hyperdrive broken, on the way to Bespin. He had only ever kissed her, then, but when he sat on the edge of her bunk and wrapped his arms around her, she had cluing to him, begged him not to leave, and he had wrapped his arms around her and held her all night…just held her, not wanting anything else. Not pushing. Just held her and promised to stand between her and all her demons. And later, in Cloud City, when Lando had betrayed them, when that door had slid open to reveal Vader, he had tried. He had stepped in front of her, pulled out his blaster and taken aim, ready to face down the horror from her nightmares.

Oh, Han. Her hand tightened on her cup and her eyes hardened.

"I was nineteen. He was my biological father. Neither of us knew then, but…I have never forgiven him. Never. I never will. No matter what Luke says. I can't. I won't. That's what I mean when I say I _understand_." She looked Poe in the eyes. "So I'm not asking you to forgive. I'm not asking you to absolve. But I'm asking you to do what we have always done. What's best for the galaxy. And bringing my son back here, one way or another, is what's best for the galaxy. And this is our best chance to get Rey back, too. So I have a mission for you. And I'm asking you if you can accept that mission."

Poe glanced at Finn, and Finn gave a small reassuring smile.

"I think so. Yes," Poe said. "I…thank you, General. I…I never knew…"

"No one does. And I'd prefer to keep it that way."

He nodded. "And ma'am?"

She raised an eyebrow.

"What he did…to me…it wasn't nearly as bad as that. It was terrifying. Excruciating. But it wasn't sadistic."

Leia nodded. "Thank you. And Poe? Would it help if you thought of it as attacking the rest of the First Order fleet instead of defending the _Finalizer_?"

Poe pursed his lips, then grinned. "Actually it would."

"Well, there you go. Now, Finn, you're our best resource for details about those ships. I need for you to go over the layout, strengths, weaknesses, anything that will help, with Poe and the rest of the squadron during the briefing."

Finn smiled. "Yes, ma'am."

* * *

He was standing in front of the viewport, staring out at the endless lines the stars made in hyperspace.

Rey crossed the floor, stood beside him. "Hey." She placed a hand on his upper arm.

"I don't know who I am anymore," he said, voice low.

She bit her lip; looked at their reflection in the transparisteel – two pale faces floating in a sea of deep blue-black. "I do."

He looked down at her. "Then tell me."

"You're who you've always been. Who I've always seen."

"Everything I've done…what I became..." He clenched his hands into fists. "I pursued the dark relentlessly. And it felt easy, it felt _right_ , when I let it in. So I did. I did everything _he_ told me to in order to stamp out the light. And it was all..." He ran his hands through his hair, tension radiating off him, and started pacing. "He _was_ using me." His voice rose as he looked out at endless space. "Do you hear that, Han Solo?" He flung the words out into the void, his voice shaking with emotion. "You were right. He _was_ using me for my power, and I was so stupid I believed…believed that he _cared_ about me. Wanted me for me. Thought I mattered. I should have listened to you. If I had only listened." He was pacing faster now, the storm inside him raging. "But I couldn't hear you because I thought you didn't want me – and you didn't exactly help make me feel otherwise. You and _her_. My mother, who had time for the entire galaxy but not for me, even when I tried…I tried to tell her and she sent me away. So I thought…I thought I was meant for this…the dark. Thought I was supposed to be _his_." He spat the word. "Then he made me think I was weak, useless…that I deserved…deserved…" He slammed his fist into the durasteel wall. Rey jumped. "Deserved only pain. Until I was strong enough. Until Ben Solo was irrevocably dead and gone. So I did everything I could to lose myself. And I nearly did."

"But not quite. You're still here."

He turned back to her. "Only because of you."

She walked closer to him, wrapped both her hands around his clenched fist. Blood oozed from it. She pulled the hand to her lips, kissed each knuckle.

He watched, fascinated, as she pressed soft kisses against his hand, her lips gentle, a warm energy humming along each place she touched, the pain of split skin and cracked bone fading away. "I can't do that," he said. "I'm not Ben Solo anymore, and I can't ever be again. But I'm not…who I've been trying to be either. And I don't know what to do now. Bring balance? I don't know how to do that. I only know how to do one thing. Destroy and destroy and _destroy_."

"That's not true."

He looked at her and horror spread across his face. "Rey." He reached out, brushing his hand across her lips and cheeks. "My blood…you're covered in…in my blood…no…no…" He was scrubbing at her face with both hands now, trying to wipe away the blood that had smeared over her lips and cheek. "Blood. So much blood…and now I've contaminated you…"

She reached up, put her hands on his, stilled them. He was spiraling down and she had to stop it. "Shhh, shhh. No. It's okay." She stared out the viewport, hyperspace lines flickering past her peripheral vision. "Don't you think it was hard for me? Coming here? With you? To the First Order? But I did it. And I'd do it again. I was willing to…to bend. To look at things as more than dark and light. Bending isn't breaking, and balance isn't surrender."

"I never thought of it like that. It was always one way or the other. Light or dark. Luke or Snoke." He stepped behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Well it doesn't have to be. And if…when we…win…you'll still have command of the entire First Order. And you get to decide what to do with it. You."

His let his lips brush over her hair. "Us."

She blushed. "Us, then." She turned her face up to his. "So. We do exactly what we planned to do," she said, her voice full of conviction. "And then we figure out the rest."

"But I've…I've dragged you into…this and…what I thought, the way I wanted it to end…Oh, Rey. I wanted to give you an empire."

She saw the anguish on his face, in his eyes, as a dream died.

"But I never wanted that."

"I wanted…I _want_ to give you everything."

"You already have."

He looked at her, his eyes searching hers. "How? All I've done is put you in danger."

She smiled. "I don't mind a little danger. I…I think I kind of like it. And you've given me _exactly_ what I wanted. You. All of you."

"I don't even know who that is."

"But I do. Kylo. Ben. It doesn't matter. I love you. _You_. And you love me. You _love_ me. _That_ is everything. To me."

He shook his head. "It's not enough."

"It is. You are." She turned in his arms, stood on her toes and kissed him, taking her time, savoring the feel of his lips, the taste of his skin, winding her arms around his neck and running her hands through his hair, twining the lush waves around her fingers. "Enough. Everything. To me."

"I don't deserve you."

Her face scrunched up in a frown. "Stop that."

"What?"

"Thinking you don't deserve love. I love you, therefore I've decided. You do deserve me…and love. _My_ love, which, by the way, I don't give frivolously. Do you know how hard it is for me to trust? To let someone in? And I decided you were the person who deserved that. So accept that, and appreciate it."

He nodded. "I do, Rey. I do."

"Good. Now let's go to the training room. We need to practice."

* * *

Leia was walking back from the flight line. She was trying to focus on the here and now. Her boots crunching on the gravel. The warmth of the sun on her shoulders. Still, she knew there would be no sleep tonight. She would stay awake to keep to nightmares away or she would drift off and they would come and wake her up. Either way, it would be a long night.

She focused. Soft wind caressing her cheek. A tendril of hair tickling her neck. A bird, chirping in a tree.

Then the ground shifted beneath her feet. She stumbled, held out a hand to catch herself. At first she thought there had been a small groundquake, but no one else seemed to have noticed it. So it must be Force-related. She regained her equilibrium, took long, deep breaths…in for a count of five, out for a count of seven, like Luke had taught her…and tried to figure out what it was she had felt. It wasn't a disturbance. Just a shift. And it felt…nice. Like a warm blanket draped over her shoulders.

To her great surprise, Leia slept soundly that night. She dreamed of babies. Small, squirming pink things with black hair and hazel eyes.

* * *

 **A/N**

So I did a good bit of research about what exactly happened to Leia on the Death Star. And there's conflicting information. I re-watched the scene, re-read the passage in the novelization, read what was on Wookiepedia and other online sources, and there were contradictions. There was no one definitive answer except that she was tortured…by Vader, the droid, both? There was a scene from an early script where Vader tortures her and she ends up with yellow eyes. And I doubt they had did it on purpose but…yellow eyes? If I were Vader and saw yellow-eyed Leia I'd run like hell! Anyway, I decided just to go with what worked for this story. Then I researched the IT-O interrogator droids and what they could do, and noticed that one of the 'tools' they had were 'electroshock nerve probes' which reminded me of this horrible nerve function test I had after some childbirth related complications – worst pain I've ever experienced, including the 18 hours of labor and subsequent c-section I had a week before that. So…write what you know, even when you're writing about space torture? And so that's where that all came from. And, uh, if someone ever suggests you get a 'nerve function test' or 'nerve conduction test'…don't. Just _don't_.

We're getting close to the end now…the pieces are all moving into place. I promise more really delicious lemons before the end, though. Next chapter, probably. Had to get through the angst first. After all, Anakin kinda turned Kylo's world upside down.

Thank you for reading; your reviews and interest in this story make me so happy! I so appreciate you all, and hope you continue to enjoy this!


	38. Expectation

**Expectation  
**

* * *

Leia woke up to the sound of knocking. She was disoriented at first, still half in a dream, standing on a balcony overlooking a lake, a large tree dipping fluttering leaves down to touch intricately carved stone railings. A sun was setting, turning the lake to molten gold. A soft warm breeze lilted by, carrying the laughter of small children playing on the sand below. She was swaying back and forth, and a baby wiggled in her arms, little pink mouth pursed, bright hazel eyes staring into hers, black curls peeking out of the blanket the child was swaddled in. She turned to the villa, expectant, waiting for someone to come through the doors.

She didn't want to leave, but the knocking grew more insistent.

She couldn't remember the last time she had slept so soundly, and she struggled to come back to the present, feeling groggy and hungover. She had to blink and look around to get her bearings. Right – Resistance Base. General's quarters. She was the general. And today…oh. Right. She hauled herself out of bed, pulled a robe on and went to answer the door.

"Did you feel it?" Maz asked, not bothering to be invited in.

Luke followed the little woman, giving a sheepish, apologetic shrug. "She's been bursting to come see you since sunrise. I held her off as long as I could," he said. "But, uh, did you?"

Leia rubbed a hand over her hair and smiled. "I felt…something. Yesterday."

"Yes!" Maz said, puttering around in Leia's kitchenette, apparently with the intention of making tea. "A shift. A _good_ one." She gave a knowing smile. "You're going to see your boy again. I can feel it."

Her eyes met Luke's. So full of pain, so conflicted – hopeful and hopeless at the same time.

"I…I…" Leia stammered, rubbed her eyes. The dream still clung, the summer air and the sweet baby smell of the bundle in her arms.

Her son. Returned to her – but not the same. She started shaking. Who would he be? Who would she be getting back? Not the gangly boy she had last seen, all arms and legs and those large eyes that were always asking for more than she had been able to give. No, he had lived half a lifetime since he was Ben Solo, seen things, done things she couldn't – didn't want to – think about. _Han_. Would he look at her with remorse, or with accusation – accusation she deserved – in his eyes? And what would she do? Grab him and shake him? Wrap her arms around him and never let go? Punch him in the gut? Scream, weep, demand atonement, beg for forgiveness? She dropped into a chair, her knees suddenly too weak to support her. "I don't want to hope for too much, too soon."

Luke turned away, unable to meet her gaze any longer.

Maz stopped puttering, gave her a sad smile. "Yes. I know, child." She walked over, removed her goggles, and put a hand on Leia's chin, turning her face so she could look deep into her eyes. An endearment in her native language dropped from Maz's lips like a benediction. "You have been strong for so long. Just hold on a bit longer. The Force will make this right."

Leia turned away, unwilling to let Maz or her brother see the tears that slipped down her cheeks. The shields she had so carefully constructed around her heart were failing, breaking apart, as she allowed the tiniest sliver of hope to wedge its way in. It was warm and bright and soft, and it terrified her.

* * *

They couldn't practice with Stormtroopers anymore. The powers they were using now were too deadly; their lightsaber abilities too dangerous. Even going at half-speed, the troopers didn't stand a chance. And they couldn't go at half-speed. They wanted, _needed_ , to work toward peak performance. So they had only one another to practice with; no one else could keep up.

Perhaps Luke could have, Rey thought, but he wasn't here.

They would, of course, have an adversary that would present a challenge soon enough.

She tried not to think about that. Shoved the thought down into the place at the back of her mind where she put things she'd rather not deal with. They just practiced. Trained. Intent and focused, immersing themselves in the moment, in the Force. Letting it wrap around them and drive out everything else. There was always more to learn, one more skill, one more power, one more level of mastery.

This was the last day. They had been working since the ship's artificial sunrise, first with Force powers – lightning shooting from their fingers as naturally as exhaling now, balls of energy forming in her palm that she could fling in any direction, the largest objects lifted effortlessly from the ground (they had practiced that in the hangar, TIE fighters hovering on their tethers, General Hux watching in helpless horror). Now they were sparring, if you could call it that – the only difference from real fighting being the fact that they had used the Force to blunt the lethality of their lightsabers.

Rey was a whirling ball of energy and movement, springing from the floor as if someone had disengaged the gravity generators.

Kylo rarely used Force jumps, preferring a more contained, predatory style that fit him physically and mentally. But Rey, well, they suited her. So he taught her. First by letting her slip into his mind as he demonstrated, letting her see, feel, experience the way he drew on the currents of the Force to push against gravity and make it seem to release a bit of its hold. Then, letting her try while he followed along, in her mind, in her body. She had taken to it so easily, so naturally, her muscles mastering the movements effortlessly, her compact form made to leap and twist and spin through the air. Her consciousness sang with the thrill that was like flight, but even better without mechanical assistance, and with the joy that came from the way he looked at her as she mastered yet another new skill. Oh, she loved that look. Pride, appreciation, awe even at what she could do, at her power. When he looked at her like that, she felt strong, and desirable, and _valued_. She felt like she could do anything, like she was invincible.

"Because you are, my love."

She blushed and looked away, eyelashes fluttering against her cheeks. "Because you've taught me."

He shook his head. "No. This is you. I've only shown you specific skills; you would have learned yourself with time. Your power, your potential…it's limitless."

"But I have so much more to learn," she said. Her skills had advanced quickly, building and growing, it was true, but she knew, even if he wouldn't admit it, that she was nowhere near his level of mastery. And if she was nowhere near his level, what of his master? A cold chill ran down her spine. So she practiced, hoping it would be enough. "Let's go again. Sabers or Force powers?"

Kylo smiled. "Both."

A thrum of anticipation ran through her as he ignited his blade.

He twirled it in the languid arc she was so used to, a stillness settling over him that some might mistake for calm but that she knew was carefully restrained fury, power coiled deep within him, ready to be released with a vengeance.

The fight was violent and vicious, all the stress and fear and anxiety, all the dread of what was to come, all the things they couldn't say channeled into thrusts and parries and jabs. It went on and on, neither giving any ground, neither willing to let the fight end.

Rey attacked, saber slashing, face fierce, ducking under Kylo's arm as he swung his blade at her in a swirling arc. She slid to her knees, rolled and stood, circling behind him in a loop, letting her momentum carry her, feet leaving the floor and moving swiftly up and across the wall, flipping easily through the air and landing on his shoulders, saber aimed at his head. "Concede. I've got you," she said, breath coming in gasps.

But he spun, twisting her and swinging her to the ground, cushioning the impact with the Force but ending with her on her back, his saber at her throat, his head between her thighs.

The air in the room seemed to shift, stilling and getting thicker. "No. I believe I've got you."

She propped herself on her elbows so she could look down at him. "What do you intend to do with me, then?"

He powered his saber down and dropped it, then turned his head to the side, running his lips against her thigh, where her skin was exposed below her training shorts, inhaling. His lips were so soft, so delectable. He opened his mouth, sucked, bit down, and a jolt of excitement ran through her. He peered up at her, something in his gaze even more intense than usual, his eyes as deep and dark and dangerous as space, fearsome to most, but to her…beckoning. Begging her to explore their depths. "Everything," he said.

She moaned and let her head fall back as he kissed and nipped his way up her thigh, closer, closer…a long sigh escaped her lips as she gave herself up to the feeling of his mouth, so hot and wet, his teeth biting into the soft flesh, his hands sliding under the material of her shorts and pulling them down, gently, slowly, slipping them over each foot, running his fingers up her legs, teasing her with such soft touches until he reached her hips and then gripping so tightly she knew there would be bruises in the shape of his fingers the next morning. The thought sent a thrill through her, right to her core. She tensed, feeling a familiar quiver start in her belly and move lower as he dragged his fingers down, over her hipbones to her inner thighs, shoving her legs apart, looking up at her with ravenous eyes. She was pulsing with desire, wet and aching and ready as she spread her legs wider. Force, she wanted him. Wanted his tongue, his lips, his cock on her, in her. Wanted him to devour her.

He didn't disappoint, his tongue making little circles over her clit, then flicking it as he felt her arousal grow. Those long, sensitive fingers worked their way higher and slid inside her, two, then three, a meager substitute for his cock, but enough for now combined with what he was doing with his tongue. And she knew she'd have his cock soon enough, in her mouth, inside her…the very thought sent her over the edge, her body clenching and spasming, harsh cries escaping her throat as she came hard and fast, the sensation gripping her viciously and then leaving her limp and helpless on the floor.

When he pulled away and stood up, she whimpered, a little disappointed sound. "Aren't you going to…?" She could tell he was throbbing hard, that he needed her, and she needed him, deep inside her, needed his body pressed against hers, needed to feel his heat, taste his skin, needed to hear him groan and shout his release in her ear.

He reached down and pulled her to her feet. She was still wobbly and had to cling to him. "Not here. I…have something for you. Let's go back to our quarters."

A little smile flickered over her lips. _Our quarters_.

He pulled her body against his, his mouth on hers now, his arms wrapping around her waist, his hands grasping at the fabric of her tunic, clinging to her as if he were drowning and she was the only solid thing. He still tasted like her, a strange sensation that made her feel an odd sense of pride and possession. She melted into the kiss, her head spinning and her body pressing into his, so close but not close enough. When he stopped, she fell toward him, took a stumbling step forward, wanting more, not wanting to let his lips leave hers for even a second. He reached down and grabbed her shorts and handed them to her, and she slipped them on.

"Don't worry," he whispered. "We're not done yet." And he took her hand, leading her to his – their - quarters, his mask in his free hand, his eyes locked with hers, energy flowing between them, pulling, tightening, strong and electric, almost shimmering in the cold, stale air of the ship.

* * *

Bazine Netal thought she would never see a planet as disagreeable as Geonosis.

That was before she arrived on Jakku. If Geonosis was hot, Jakku was searing. If Geonosis was dirty, Jakku was filthy. If Geonosis was remote, Jakku was forsaken.

And this bar – if you could call it that – well, she had been in 'freshers that were larger. And cleaner.

Still, the pile of First Order credits in her bank account more than made up for it, and as long as she didn't sample the local swill – which looked like hydraulic fluid and smelled like motor oil and, judging from the looks on the faces of the patrons, was stronger than that Pamarthen concoction she had tried once, just once – she would be fine. Get this job done and be on her way. Maybe take a vacation, somewhere with brightly colored leaves and crisp breezes and a rushing river. And no sand.

She settled into a booth – the table a piece of rusty metal balanced on an old shipping crate, the chair a seat pulled out of an old freighter. She had no idea how long she had to wait, or exactly what she was waiting for. But her instructions from her client were clear and simple, the payment was already in her account, and the patrons were giving her a wide berth, so for now she was satisfied.

* * *

"Black Leader. How long do we have to wait here?" A voice asked over the comm.

"Until we're needed. Or until the General recalls us."

Black Squadron had come out of hyperspace in a remote system on the edge of the Unknown Regions, and were currently hiding among the rings of a gas giant planet, systems powered down to minimum life support levels. It was cold. And silent. And boring.

"What are we doing here, anyway?"

"Watching." Poe's voice was tight.

"Why don't we just attack? They're easily within range."

The Star Destroyer was so large they could see it without the aid of electrobinoculars, an arrow piercing the black of space.

"Because that's not our mission." He snapped.

"What exactly _is_ our mission?"

"That's need to know only, and you don't need to know yet."

* * *

"I have a…gift for you." He held a slim silver box out to her, his eyes not meeting hers.

"I…thank you." She took the box, untied the cording around it and removed the lid. Her eyes lit up and she gasped, hands reaching in to gently touch the delicate shimmersilk. It was the same brilliant material as the gown Hux's wife had worn, but instead of cool shades of blue and purple, this one shaded from a warm purple to magenta to a deep, glowing carmine. She lifted it carefully from the box, holding it out and smiling. "Kylo, it's…it's beautiful."

"Do you like it? Truly?"

"I love it. I've never touched anything so soft, or seen colors like this. They practically glow!"

"Like you."

She felt her cheeks grow warm. "But why…?"

"I saw how much you liked Hux's wife's gown. I wanted you to have one like it, but better. This one was made by the same designer who made hers, but it was designed especially for you. See, it has arm wraps like you like, and the top layers cross over your chest, like this. It's one of a kind."

She looked at him. "You asked Hux where he got the dress, didn't you?"

He nodded.

Her smile widened, and a warmth spread through her as she imagined him asking his ginger rival for the name of a dress designer. "Oh, Kylo, I love it. I've never had anything so…so fine. So elegant."

"A fact I intent to remedy. Rey, I still want to give you…everything."

"I told you, you already have. But I uh, I do really like this. I'm going to pop into the 'fresher and clean up and try it on." She hesitated. "If that's okay? Or should we eat and…you know…and then go practice some more?"

"Please wear it. That's why I gave it to you." He stepped closer, touched her cheek with the back of his hand. "Oh, my love. We have trained enough. We're ready." _As ready as we can be_. The thought coming through unbidden. "Tonight? Tonight I want to spend showing you how much I love you. Tonight…I want to last forever."

* * *

So, a little lemon this time…more next chapter. Hopefully enough to tide Rey – and my hungry readers – over. I wanted to write the whole 'last night before the confrontation', but it just got too long, because I wanted to keep the rest of the plot going.

Thank you all for reading, and as always, reviews are like the air we writers breathe. Thank you, thank you, thank you for every follow, fave, and review!


	39. Consumerism - Deleted Scene Type Thing

**Consumerism (Bonus Chapter, Deleted Scene...Something)**

* * *

General Hux was standing on the elevated walkway on the bridge of the _Finalizer_. It was one of his favorite places to be. He could see the vastness of space through the large viewport in front of him, and he could survey his technological domain below him, officers and technicians all working away at their stations, the only sound the steady hum of a well-ordered ship.

That is, until Kylo Ren decided to visit the bridge. Fortunately, ever since the girl, the _apprentice_ , had arrived, that had occurred with less and less frequency – a fact that pleased Hux enormously, despite his discomfort at the two Force users' overtly unorthodox and ridiculously libidinous behavior. He wasn't sure how far that whole 'master' thing went and, honestly, it made him sweat under his collar to think about it, especially combined with the _noises_ that often came from their quarters. There had been far less wholesale destruction since she arrived, though, so there was that.

But apparently, today Ren had decided to put in an appearance. And of course, he had done it in the most exasperating way possible, managing to sneak up on Hux, not there one second, standing at his shoulder the next, Hux not even aware of his large presence until he cleared his throat, making the general jump. "Kriff, Ren, must you creep up on people like that?" Hux snapped.

"Yes." Silence stretched awkwardly. " Good day, General."

Hux glanced at his strange associate out of the corner of his eye. Ren had not addressed him as anything but 'Armi' since Cressa's visit. "What do you want, Ren?"

"Want? What makes you think I want something?"

"Well. Don't you?"

Ren growled.

Hux's mouth quirked up in a tiny smirk. He had sort of missed winding Ren up.

"Your wife. Was wearing a long gown…dress…thing."

Hux turned and stared at him. This was not what he had expected. "What about it?"

"It was…quite nice. Quite nice."

Hux blinked. "Thank you?"

"The material…it was very…floaty. Soft. And brightly colored…very, um, vibrant. Does it…is it a certain kind or…is there a _name_ …?"

Hux had turned his head to openly stare at Ren now. "I believe they call it, ah, shimmersilk. Not that I really pay much attention to such things but, ah, yes, I remember Cressa saying…mentioning… _why_?" he smoothed his own uniform jacket down, pressing out imaginary wrinkles.

"I was curious. Where did she get it?"

Hux blinked, still trying to catch up. "It is couture…a true designer original. From a boutique in Arkanis's capital city. Mmm, again, why?"

Ren fidgeted, shifting from foot to foot, before he finally spoke. "Rey…my apprentice…liked it. I thought perhaps I could get her one similar."

Hux nearly choked on his own tongue. "You…you're asking because you want to buy _your apprentice_ a…a pretty dress? A pretty, brightly colored shimmersilk _dress_?"

Ren snarled through the mask. "She is…I'm responsible for her…well-being. It would please me to…to reward her…give her things…she never had…things…beautiful things…and she…" He clenched his fists. "I just want to give her a dress, alright, Hux? Just tell me the name of the designer or shop or wherever one gets these things. Tell me now. Or would you prefer I do this the hard way?" He leaned closer.

Understanding blossomed on Hux's face. "You care for her."

Ren's voice dropped. " _She is mine_. Now. Tell. Me."

Hux smiled, but it wasn't his usual superior smirk. There was some warmth there. "A shop in the city. Couture by Zhara Porgia. Cressa loves her work."

"Zhara Porgia. Good." Ren hesitated, his boots creaking, his breath loud through the mask. Finally he spoke again. "Thank you. And Hux. I would…appreciate it if you did not mention this to…my apprentice." He gave a curt nod. "I am going to the surface to obtain a gown. I will return directly."

Hux opened and closed his mouth like a fish. He thought of Zhara Porgia, the perpetual sneer of her thin aristocratic mouth and her severe purple-black bun and that icy manner she had that intimidated even _him_. And he thought of how appalled she would be at the effrontery of this _off-worlder_ storming into her boutique and demanding a dress immediately. "Wait! You…you can't just order a designer to make a dress on the spot."

"Armi. Don't you know that I can take whatever I want?" Ren turned on his heel and strode away.

Hux stared after his colleague for a second, blinking, before his feet started moving. "Bloody hell. Wait. I'm coming with you!" He shouted, scurrying to catch up to Ren's long strides.

"What? No."

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because if you murder my wife's favorite dress designer I'll never hear the end of it."

Ren stopped, stared at Hux for a long beat, the blank mask and the feeling of the intense eyes behind it disconcerting. Finally, he gave a sharp nod. "Very well." He continued toward the shuttle.

Hux followed along, not sure at all how he had suddenly gotten himself into taking Kylo Ren _shopping_.

* * *

Just a little bonus mini-chapter/deleted scene type…thing. This story has gotten so serious, and I needed some comic relief and so I decided to write this, because these two prickly idiots interacting always makes me giggle, and some of you commented that you'd like to see that scene – so here it is! Hope it didn't disappoint! I thought about going on and writing the actual shopping trip, but decided it would be too long, but don't worry, he doesn't murder the designer…just threatens her a bit, maybe a mind trick to keep her from ever making a duplicate of Rey's dress, because of course it must be one of a kind, for his Rey.

Okay, I know we all want to get back to Kylo and Rey alone in their quarters…and I have written a bit of that but I want to be sure it's perfect, so I'm going to take my time. Hmm, maybe I'll have Kylo say that to Rey…;) Anyway, smut is coming…be patient…I was just in a silly mood today.

Reviews and comments are always super-appreciated!


	40. Passion

**Passion**

* * *

Smut. Just pure smut, that's what this chapter is. No plot advancement happens at all. It's just smut. And feelings. And smut. And angst. And I'm not the least bit sorry!

* * *

While Rey was in the 'fresher, he had ordered dinner: smoked nerf with spice jelly, csolcir mushrooms dripping with butter and topped with slivered vweilu nuts, and aircake for dessert. A meal he had not allowed himself to even remember in years. But tonight, he wanted to remember. For the first time, he thought that remembering would make him stronger, not weaker. And he wanted to share this, this meal, this memory, with Rey.

He was pouring wine when she stepped out of the 'fresher. Her hair was still damp, hanging loose around her shoulders, curling around her face. She was wearing the new dress, the flowing skirts rustling softly with each step she took. She kept absently touching the material, gliding her hands over her waist and hips, floating them down along the flowing skirt, tracing her fingertips over the delicate tissue-thin shimmersilk of the arm wraps. He watched, mesmerized, the wine glass and bottle forgotten in his hand. Her bare toes peeped out, tiny and pink, and something about that made his breath hitch.

She followed his gaze, and blushed. "I…I didn't want to put my boots on with this. It's so posh and they're so…grubby. But I don't have any other shoes, so…well, I know barefoot is a little silly but…"

He sat the wine and glass on the table, resisting the urge to drop to his knees and cover her perfect pink toes with kisses. "Oh, Rey. You are perfection." He stood there, drinking in the sight of her. The purple-reds of the dress made her complexion glow, and set off the warm hazel of her eyes. It fit perfectly, the neckline scooping low, exposing the soft curve of her breasts, the gauze-like overwraps concealing just enough to make it even more enticing. A belt of glittering precious stones in the same vibrant purples, magentas and reds as the material sat just below her waist, delicate silver chains draping from the center, dangling tantalizingly low. He sucked in a breath. She was a goddess and he wanted to worship her.

Pink stained her cheeks. "You're staring."

"Because you are incandescent."

Her blush deepened.

He finally tore his gaze away and poured the wine, handing her a glass. It was palest golden yellow, delicate and shimmering.

She took the glass and, at his encouraging nod, took a sip. Her eyes opened wide in delight. "It tastes like…like a flower garden. Like petals and honey and sunshine."

"It's blossom wine, from Naboo, my grandmother's home world. It's made from the petals of several carefully cultivated flowers. I thought you would like it. It reminds me of you."

"I love it," she said. "And, the dress." She ran a hand over the fabric. "I love it, too."

He smiled. "Good. I…like pleasing you. Shall we eat?"

She grinned, eyes taking in the meal on the table. "Yes! Definitely!"

The smells took him back, so far back. Back to a boy named Ben, a father, a mother. A past. A future that could have been. Then his eyes lifted, and there was Rey, beautiful, beaming…here.

She was stuffing large bites into her mouth, impatient to try everything. She smiled as she chewed. "Mmmff. This is so good. Smoky, spicy…and whatever this is…" she jabbed her fork at the buttery, brown csolcir, "I love it."

"I'm glad." He took a bite, savoring it, eyes far away. They ate in silence, Rey consumed by the delicious tastes and smells, Kylo consumed by memories – _His ninth birthday, when they had 'celebrated' in the Falcon, his father saying it was 'an adventure' when the truth was they were hiding from someone Han Solo owed money. Still, he had docked on some Force-forsaken planet long enough to pick up a vacuum-packed slice of aircake and a smoked nerf sandwich. 'It's not exactly what you asked for, kid, but it's the best I could do. Come on Chewie, we gotta get outta here.' His eleventh birthday, when his mother hadn't made it home for dinner because the Senate session had run longer than expected, but had ordered a beautiful aircake from the best bakery on Hosnian Prime and had gotten him out of bed in the middle of the night to eat it. His fourteenth, when she'd had the whole meal delivered to the Academy, even though he had told her not to bother coming to visit, he didn't want to see her -_ but this time, they didn't hurt like they always had before.

"Ooooh, this cake! It's so light it just dissolves on my tongue! Like biting into sweetened air! But rich, too."

He nodded. "That's why it's called aircake. They say the batter has to be whipped by hand for an hour to get that texture."

"That sounds like a lot of work," she mumbled as she shoved cake into her mouth. She finished the last bite, scraping the last few cake crumbs and drops of butter from her plate.

He gave a little shrug. "I've never seen it made, so I'm not sure if that's true. Threepio dealt with most of the meals we ate at home, so, ah…anyway." He took a bite, smiling as it melted on his tongue. "It was…it _is_ …Ben's… my favorite meal. I asked for it every birthday. As a child. I have not had it in many years. It's…Corellian."

"Oh." Her voice was soft. She licked a bit of icing from the corner of her mouth.

"I wanted to taste it one more…" He caught himself, "…again. And share it with you."

She took a long sip of wine, then reached across the table, placing her hand on his. "Don't do that. Please."

"What?"

"Think of any of this as…the last."

"I'm not…"

"You are. Please stop." She slid her hand under his and lifted it, palms pressing together. "We're right. And we're together. And we're strong. You're strong."

His eyes dropped and he looked away, but she ducked her head and held his gaze. "Yes. I remember, the first time I saw you, in the woods…that was the first thing I noticed. Your power. I _felt_ you. I didn't know or understand it yet, then, but I felt you, and I was terrified…"

"I'm sorry about…"

"No. Don't be. I was terrified because I could tell, even then, that you were so very _strong_ , in a way I didn't understand. And then, when you took off your mask, when I saw who you were…"

He looked away. "You saw my fear. My weakness."

"I saw _you_ , that you were human, but it didn't change the fact that I was awed by your power. It was everywhere. It filled the room. It was so…all-consuming. Like a fire." She pulled her hand back just a little, letting the energy flow from his hand to hers. "That's you."

"And you."

"Us. Together. We _can_ do anything. You were right. But only because you taught me. Master."

"You don't need a master."

"Well, maybe I want one." Her voice had dropped; it was like honey, like the blossom wine, sweet and intoxicating.

She slid out of her chair and walked toward him until she was standing between his knees. She reached down, trailed her fingertips along his cheek, tracing the line of his scar. He reached up and let his fingers skim the material over her shoulder, her chest, her waist. She sighed, and dropped to her knees in front of him, her hands sliding up his thighs, exploring the muscles. "You're strong. And beautiful. Do you know that?" Her hands were stroking his legs, sliding up, up. "I thought so, even then. Even when I thought you were a monster, I thought you were beautiful." Her hands moved up his legs, to his crotch, sliding over the hardness there, a sharp inhale projecting her appreciation.

"Rey, you don't have to…"

"I want to. I need to. I need to feel you, taste you." Her fingers moved to his waist band, unbuttoning his fly, her eyes never leaving his. "You think too much; you worry, obsess. I don't want you to be able to think about anything except my mouth, and how good it feels." She tugged his trousers over his hips, wrapped a hand around his cock and leaned forward, flicking her tongue out, brushing her lips over the tip. He gasped, gripping the arms of the chair.

Apparently the goddess wanted to worship him. And who was he to deny her anything?

Besides, he needed her, needed her so badly, needed this…thrusting, throbbing, fast and hard and desperate…that blissful feeling when he let go and she swallowed him down. Later, later he would be able to take his time with her, give to her, show her he loved her in every possible way.

But right now, right now her mouth was so hot, surrounding him, and the sensations were so strong he couldn't fight them if he wanted to – and he didn't. Right now, he would surrender to her. That was the last real thought he had as her mouth engulfed him, moving up and down along with her hand, slick and tight. He put his hand on the back of her head, twining his fingers in her hair, pulling her closer, his hips bucking up off the chair and into her mouth. She whimpered a little, but she didn't pull away; she took him in as far as she could; he felt the head of his cock hitting the back of her throat and it drove him mad, made him pound into her soft mouth harder. She let her thoughts flow through the bond, the way he felt in her mouth, almost too much, making her sob…he pulled back, but then… _Don't hold back; I want this, you…beautiful, all of you, your power, your body…the way you love me_ …the fact that she liked it, wanted it, wanted to feel him sliding in and out of her mouth, liked the way it made him lose control, liked that only she could do that, could make him totally unravel, reduce him to a trembling mess of pleasure without ever making him feel weak, liked when he grabbed her head and pulled it closer, closer…"Oh, Rey," he moaned. "Kriff. Your mouth. I can't…I'm going to…" he came, his release stronger and hotter than he had ever remembered, and she swallowed, taking all of him, her nails digging into his thighs, scraping down his legs.

He collapsed against the back of the chair, his breath coming in harsh gasps as she looked up at him, a wicked smile on her face, and flicked her tongue out to lick the corner of her lip, the same way she had licked the icing. "Tell me you know you're strong," she whispered, voice husky.

"I know," he said, hands stroking her hair.

She smiled and he pulled her onto his lap, tucking her under his arm, nuzzling her hair, her ear, touching her gently, long fingers skimming over the edges of the dress, enjoying the contrast of the cool shimmersilk and her warm skin. Her hands were sliding under the fabric of his robe, pushing it away, off his shoulders, then running over his tunic, his undershirt.

"You wear too many clothes," she whispered, struggling with the layers.

He turned her a little, and then he was kissing her, slowly, deliberately, her mouth tasting like him, salty and a little sour. It was strangely arousing, and he felt himself stirring again already. He stood up, lifting her easily, never breaking the kiss, and carried her to bed, putting her down gently, still kissing, nibbling at her.

"You like carrying me," she said, a laugh bubbling under the words.

"Yes. It reminds me of…when we met. And you're so tiny, like nothing in my arms…like you'd be so delicate. Except I know better." He smiled as he covered her neck and shoulder with kisses.

"I'm not, you know," she giggled. "Tiny."

"You are." He was pushing the gauzy material off her shoulders with his mouth.

"Not really. You're just so big it seems that way."

"So you're saying I'm too big?"

Another laugh, lashes fluttering over her cheeks. "Oh. No. I didn't say that. I'd say you're just right…for me."

"I still say you're little. Look how easy you are to lift." And she felt her body lift off the surface of the bed until he was levitating her about a meter above his body, face to face but just out of reach. "I've wanted to take that dress off you all night," he whispered as she giggled and squirmed. The arm wraps started unwinding, slowly, one, then the other, the soft material floating in the air, moving over her throat, her cheek, before fluttering to the floor. Then the belt fell from her waist, followed by the gauze overwraps. Each piece removed slowly, tantalizingly, his eyes following their progress intently, taking in each bit of uncovered skin like a new discovery.

She stretched out a hand to touch him, but he was just out of reach. "Kylo, please," she said.

"Please what, love?"

"Let me touch you. Please."

He smiled, a wicked glint in his eye. "Mmmm, not yet, I don't think," he said, as the dress inched slowly down her body, exposing her a centimeter at a time as he watched. The fabric slid over her breasts, her nipples hardening instantly from the contact and the cool air. Down, over her waist, her belly button, her hips, finally sliding over her legs and dropping to the floor, followed by her underwear.

She wiggled, obviously feeling exposed, floating naked above him. "Put me down," she said.

"Down? Hmmm, alright." He lowered her legs, pulling them toward him until she was kneeling, one leg on each side of his throat.

"Whaaa…?"

"Yes, this is just right," he said, looking up at her, committing her to memory with his eyes and hands; the way little wisps of hair curled around her face, the green and blue and gold flecks in her eyes, the exact shade of her lips…dusty pink, darker now from his kisses, the curve of her neck, the freckles on her chest, the weight of her breast in his palm, the texture of her nipple when he ran his thumb over it, the tight muscles of her stomach, the patch of dark curls forming a vee at the apex of her thighs. He placed a hand on each side of her round, perfect bottom and pulled her toward him until he could lick between her folds.

"You already…"

"I know. I want to do it again. Again and again and again," his voice was low, muffled, rumbling against her skin, and he felt her get wetter as he spoke. "You like my voice."

"Mmm-hmm. I like…everything you do with your mouth."

He laughed, that low chuckle that was barely there, and ran his tongue from her entrance to her clit, making her shiver and moan. "This?"

"Yes."

He circled his tongue over her clit. "This?"

"Oh, yes."

He flicked it, faster and faster, his hands gripping her ass, pulling her against his face. _This?_

"Oh, Force, yes. Yes, yes," her voice was a high keening whimper now, her breath short, sharp pants, and he knew she was close.

He moved one hand and slid his fingers inside her, moaning into her as he felt the wetness there. Force, she was dripping, and it made him ache to be inside her, but not yet. Not until she was limp and quivering and satiated.

 _I want to feel what you're feeling. Let me in, Rey._ She did, her thoughts his now, and it was beyond comprehension, their senses intertwined, pleasure and arousal and that combined energy that he had come to recognize as _theirs_ thrumming between them.

He was moving his tongue faster now, in rhythm with his plunging fingers, and he felt her tension building, felt the hard little lump under his tongue pulse and throb, and then she was screaming, her arms flailing a bit before they found his hair in this new position, and then grabbing, pulling, pressing his face closer, harder against her until she went limp and started to slump forward, but he reached up with his free arm, catching her shoulder, then wrapping his fingers around her throat, squeezing just a little and holding her up, continuing his attentions to her clit.

"Stop I…I already…"

 _No. You're not done yet. I can make this keep going._

She was shaking, trembling from the overstimulation, but her mind was open and he could tell…she was intrigued. She wanted him to try, to make it last longer, despite the fact that it was almost painful now how sensitive she was. "Y…yes. Please," she whimpered, and he smiled against her, then continued his efforts, swirling his tongue around her outer folds then swooping in, around and around, up and down, adding just a bit of directed energy that hummed and buzzed, and she was arching her back, thrusting against his face, her hands catching behind her against his chest and holding on, holding on to anything she could as spasms of pleasure rocked through her body. She tried to cry out, a high keening scream that she swallowed because she couldn't breathe, and he felt her practically floating on the pleasure, time standing still for her as he pushed her over another edge, higher and sharper, the sparse amount of furniture in the room vibrating as she gasped and shook and finally let out a long shuddering cry as she exhaled and collapsed, letting him catch her and turn her over onto her back, letting him kiss his way up her body, her eyes meeting his, her smile…oh, she was glowing, radiant, for him.

"I love you," he whispered. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," her voice was still hoarse and weak. "I love you, and I need you."

She needed him. Rey who had never needed anyone, needed him. He was the one who needed…not her. "You need me?"

"Yes. Oh, yes. I need you. I need for you to look at me like that, like I'm…precious."

"You are. Rey, you're so precious to me."

"And right now, I need you inside me. I need to feel you. I need to be…yours. My master." Her voice was soft.

He removed the rest of his clothes as quickly as he could, then he rolled her onto her stomach, kissing the back of her neck, whispering in her ear, little words of love and devotion as he pulled her to her knees, reached down and spread her legs, her body compliant and willing. "You are mine. My Rey, my empress, my goddess…" he lost the ability to form words, then, as he plunged into her and, Force, she felt so good he lost all reason and just gave in to the feeling of skin against skin, slick and hot, and he wasn't thinking anymore, he was just pounding into her, his hands gripping her hipbones as she pushed back against him, their voices mingled in gasps and grunts. He put a hand on her shoulder, pulling her back against him, harder, closer and he was almost there…but he wasn't ready to be done, so he pulled away with a growl, spun her until she was straddling him on the edge of the bed and when she didn't wait but lowered herself onto his cock he let out a feral moan and immediately started thrusting up into her, so deep, knowing how much she liked this position, what it did to her. He had both hands on her shoulders, pushing, giving her all of himself, his eyes locked with hers, slamming up into her with an especially hard thrust. Her face changed, her expression fierce, her eyes wild, her nails digging into his shoulders. "Do it again," she hissed, and he did, thrusting up hard as he pushed down on her shoulders. Her face twisted, fiercer. "Again. Don't stop. Please, Force, fuck, don't stop, don't stop." There was nothing sweet about her voice now, it was demanding and ferocious. This was his warrior queen, wild and violent and flawless, radiating power like she had in the snowy forest. Sweat dripped from her hair, down her face, mixing with his own as he kept thrusting, pounding, harder and faster, his control slipping away. Her nails clawed against his skin, her eyes scrunched closed and her lips pulled away from her teeth in a snarl as she cried out, head thrown back, blue sparks shimmering over her skin, and it only took him one more hard upward thrust until he joined her, face contorted, a low moan ripped from his lips as the sparks engulfed him, too, energy surrounding them, swirling and snapping as they collapsed against each other and fell to the bed, exhausted, panting.

He wasn't sure how long they lay there; he didn't care. He never wanted the moment to end. He wanted to stay, wrapped in her arms, the Force sparking around them, forever. But of course, that was impossible. He looked at her, her beautiful face tilted up toward his, complexion dewy, cheeks pink. He wanted to explain, wanted her to know the depth of is devotion. "Rey. You know…I'm yours, forever, right?"

She looked up at him. "Yes. I…"

He interrupted. "If anything happens to you…"

"Shhh. Nothing's going to happen to me. We'll be fine. We'll be okay."

"But if it does…if you…if anything happens to you…I'll follow you. We can be Force ghosts together."

Her eyes widened in alarm. "What? No! You can't…"

"Rey. If I lost you…I know what would happen. It would not be good." And she saw it… _everything, burning, annihilated, world after world, nothing but smoking ruins. Bodies, blood, fear, so much fear. All of it laid waste, the First Order, the Resistance, gone, nothing left but ashes. And in the middle of it all, he's there, eyes yellow, lightsaber slashing, heedless, hopeless, a black void where his soul once was._

"But I won't let that happen. I swear. I'll…end it, quickly." His voice drops, darkens. "Right after I kill _him_ and anyone else who dared to hurt you."

"Shhh. Alright. I understand. And if…if I lose you…"

"No. Promise me, swear to me, that you'll live. That you'll go on. I'll visit you, as a Force Ghost. Kriff, I'll do nothing _but_ haunt you, every second, every minute, every day for all eternity. I know I can do it; I've…your light has…infused me."

"No. It's your light. It always has been. But…why aren't you afraid I'll…you know…go dark. Destroy. Annihilate."

"Oh, my love, you don't have it in you to go that dark."

She looked up at him, eyes serious, voice low. "Don't be so sure."

"I am sure. And you have to promise me…promise me you'll try…to live. To survive."

She sighed. "Alone. Like I always have."

"No. I'll never leave you. Nothing will take me away from you, not even...that. I swear it. And I know…I know I'm strong. With you. But…we don't know and…I will do _anything_ to protect you. You have to survive. Please. And, if…tell my mother I'm sorry…"

A tear slid down her cheek. "No. You're not getting out of it that easily. You'll tell her yourself."

"And if I'm not able?"

More tears, dropping onto the pillow in an unstoppable cascade. "No. No, no, no. That's not okay. Not okay. I can't."

"But if you have to."

"No. No. We…we just have to win. We have to." Her voice quivered, and she pressed her back tighter against his chest. "But if...yes, I promise." A sob shook her. "Hold me, Kylo. Please. Hold me close."

He pulled her back against his chest and wrapped his arms around her. "I love you," he whispered, lips brushing against her hair.

"I love you," she whispered back, kissing his fingers, then tucking his hand under her chin.

They curled together in a tight ball and drifted into an exhausted sleep.

* * *

The plot will return next chapter. J

All foods from Wookipedia/Foods by Culture…smoked nerf, spice jelly, csolcir and vweilu nuts and aircake are Corellian; blossom wine is from Naboo. What they look and taste like I just totally made up to sound delicious and, hopefully, a little sensuous.

I hope I haven't missed any glaring errors, but I'll look at this again tomorrow and fix anything I catch. It's late and I'm tired but I wanted to get this posted tonight because it's been consuming my brain.

Thank you for reading; we're close to the end…I just have to figure out how to bring all the pieces together! I hope you enjoyed this little interlude in lemon-town. I know I did. ;) A million thanks to those who fave, follow and review; knowing you're out there, reading my words and enjoying them makes my naughty little heart so happy!


	41. Intentions

**Intentions**

* * *

"General?" Mitaka was standing just outside the door to Hux's office, hat in hand, perspiration on his upper lip, waiting for permission to continue.

Hux looked up, impatient. They were arriving at their destination within the hour and he still had no orders beyond 'enter a standard orbit and await further instructions'. Hux disliked uncertainty. "What is it now, Mitaka."

"I have a message for you, sir."

"Spit it out, man."

"Captain Phasma would like to see you, sir."

Hux gave a nod. "Send her in."

Mitaka attempted to turn smartly on his heel, not managing to pull it off with the snap that Hux always did, and sent Phasma in.

"Captain?" Hux said.

"General." The Stormtrooper captain said, pushing the button to close the door behind her. "I have become aware of something that I felt I needed to share with you. If you are already aware, or if it is not my business, please tell me and I'll stop immediately."

Hux frowned. What in the galaxy could she be talking about? "Go on, Captain."

"As you're aware, my loyalty is to the First Order above all. However, as you also know, the Stormtrooper captains are a tightknit group. We keep in touch, meet regularly via holo, share training and discipline techniques and combat strategies; in short, we are a unit, even if we are stationed on different ships or planets."

Hux nodded. Of _course_ he knew this. It was what kept all of the Stormtroopers in sync, effective, regardless of unit, ship or commander. He had designed much of their training regimen, after all.

"As you're also aware, my background is in psych ops. I know how to read people, to know if they're lying, hiding things. I pride myself on this ability, despite…" she cleared her throat, "…the occasional exception. In our last holoconference, there was…tension. I could tell that the other captains were hiding something. I know their tells. Captain Revus clears his throat too much. Captain Ott nods her head too enthusiastically. You get the point."

Hux nodded and made a rolling gesture with his hand, encouraging her to get on with it.

"So I made some quiet inquiries among squadron leaders I've worked with in the past and know I can trust. General….again, my loyalty is to the First Order above all, and I know yours is as well. And I do not question authority. But what I've discovered, well, I feel compelled to share this with you."

"No one is questioning your loyalty, Captain. If you have concerns, you are following the appropriate chain of command by reporting them to me. What is this information?"

"The rest of the fleet, sir. They're on the other side of the planet."

Hux froze, staring at her. "Say that again, Captain."

"The rest of the fleet is on the other side of the planet, hidden from us. I was hoping you would have known, that this was nothing of concern…but I see that's not the case."

Hux gritted his teeth and clenched his fists. Why would he not have been informed of fleet movements? Why were they hidden? Why did it feel like a trap? Was this, finally, payback for his failure with Starkiller? He could feel his face growing hot with anger, and a touch of shame, but he kept it under control. "Thank you for the information, Captain. You did the right thing coming to me."

She nodded, saluted and turned to go.

Hux pressed his lips together, narrowed his eyes. "And Phasma."

"Yes sir?"

"Inform Lord Ren of this development immediately."

She hesitated a second. "Yes sir." She saluted again.

Hux paced the room, trying to put the pieces together. He did not like this. Not at all.

* * *

"General?" Threepio said, scurrying after Leia as she made her way through the command center.

"Yes, Threepio?"

"Commander Dameron is on the secure commlink, ma'am."

"Oh, good. Patch him through, please, Threepio. And call the members of the select committee. Have them convene here as soon as possible." Her voice was calm, pleasant.

"Yes, ma'am." Threepio was still purring with enthusiasm. "And ma'am, I've taken it upon myself to have several pots of caf and tea brought in, along with a variety of pastries and protein bars. And water, of course. Based on the scenarios I've run, we could be in here for an extended period of time, and I've calculated the biological requirements of all the sentients who will be present, and come to the conclusion that there will be a need for hydration and nourishment before it's over."

Leia sighed. Sometimes she wished she were a droid. Still, she was glad Threepio had thought of that. She was too apprehensive to think about eating, but the others…yes. They would appreciate it. "Thank you, Threepio. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Neither do I, ma'am. Neither do I."

She gave him a tired but kind smile, then turned to the comm. "Poe? Are you in position?"

* * *

It was the hyperdrive disengaging that woke Rey; that subtle lurch, bringing them from hyperspace to real space. Her eyes snapped open, and she instinctively burrowed closer to Kylo. She felt his arms tighten around her, his lips brush across her hair.

Finally, she moved, but when she tried to disengage herself from his embrace, he simply clung tighter, holding her against his chest. "We have to get dressed," she said.

He sighed. "I know. I just need to hold you for another minute."

She melted against him, pressing her cheek to his chest and nodding. "Yeah. Me too."

They lay pressed together as the lights brightened. Then, suddenly, Kylo tensed, scrunched his eyes shut, pressed his hands to his temples. Rey sat up, startled, frightened. "Kylo? Kylo, what's wrong?" Her hands clutched at his, trying to pry them away from his head, trying to make him look at her.

His face had contorted in terror or pain or both, and he didn't seem to hear her.

Finally, he collapsed against the pillow and his eyes refocused, found hers.

"Kylo?"

He ran a hand through his hair, catching his breath. When he spoke his voice was thick with emotion. "We've been summoned."

"How… thought…"

"He can…speak to me. It's not a bond, it's just common Force communication."

"Oh. So, umm…"

"I'm to go to the surface immediately. And bring my apprentice for…examination."

She gulped.

* * *

Someone had brought more food in and added it to Threepio's protein bars and beverages…big bowls of Corellian buckwheat noodles, Tatooinian flatbread topped with blue cheese and podpoppers, shredded smoked nerf with soft buttery rolls to make sandwiches and spice jelly to top them, those ormacheks wrapped in kelp that Admiral Ackbar liked, vacuum-sealed cookies…she stopped, stared at it, really saw it for the first time. Reached out and took a roll, turning it in her hand. Still warm.

Where did it all come from? Someone always brought food in during these situations. Always. Who? Someone…many someones…always attended to the small details while she was too busy with the big picture.

 _The small details…like your son?_ Her mind taunted her. No, she had never thought of him as a 'small detail'. She had never meant to ignore him, she just…there was always so much to _do_. And her own parents…the ones she considered her _true_ parents…had been involved in galactic politics. She had spent many days on Bail Organa's knee sitting around a conference table, had learned the ways of being a princess from Breha Organa and Breha's sisters, her aunts, who tried, they really tried, to mold her into a proper princess…they taught her the protocol, the diplomacy, the propriety, the importance of ceremonial hairstyles and dresses and standing quietly through lengthy ceremonies, her face lovely and impassive. They were only partially successful. They tried to shape her into their image of a queen, one who led through gentle words and stoic silence. One who would find a suitable mate and allow him to take the active role while she presided over ceremonies and talked about sending aid to the less fortunate.

 _And what did you do? Joined the Rebellion, stole the plans to the Death Star, almost got yourself killed. You weren't exactly proper and quiet. You weren't content to sit in the background, be decorative, entertain prospective suitors; you wanted to be part of the action…but what you did was sanctioned by your father, even if it shouldn't have been. When you were thirteen and started skipping language and etiquette lessons with your aunts to meet with your radical friends in that dingy caf house that smelled like piss and death sticks, your father should have locked you in your room. Instead he offered to let your little group meet in the basement of the castle, and arranged for you to become a junior legislator so you could make a difference. When you were sixteen and stole a blaster from the armory and almost blew your thumb off trying to teach yourself to use it in the old abandoned part of the vineyard, he should have grounded you. Instead he hired old Mot Rossim, the armory master, to teach you how to shoot properly, how to fight, how to defend yourself. When you spent every dinner hour ranting about the unfairness of the Emperor, he should have told you to keep quiet; instead he encouraged you to write a list of grievances: 'He has refused to pass laws that will benefit the people of outlying systems; he has forbidden legislative bodies to meet; he has kept standing armies in times of peace…' When you offered to smuggle the Death Star plans, he should have put his foot down. Absolutely refused to put his teenage daughter, senator or not, in that kind of jeopardy. Instead he reluctantly agreed and helped arrange a fake diplomatic mission for you himself._

She sighed, turning the roll in her hand.

 _Should've, should've, should've. Bail Organa did exactly what he should've done. He knew who you were, and when he saw that you weren't going to sit quietly, when he saw that you were nearly going crazy posing for portraits and learning elaborate dances and entertaining at court, when he saw the emotions, the passion boiling inside of you, he found a way for you to let it out. And later, when you learned who you were, what you could do, did you go with Luke, train to be a Jedi? No. You chose love. And war. Why would your own son be any different? Of course he wanted to be…more. To be noticed. Maybe if you had paid attention, maybe if you had really seen, you would have done what Bail Organa did…_

Well, her son had her full attention now. Had it taken all of this for him to get it?

She clenched her small fists, squashing the buttered roll _._

"General? GENERAL?" Admiral Statura's voice finally cut into her thoughts.

She looked up, stuffed the smashed roll in her pocket. "Yes?"

"The live feed is up, ma'am."

The entire select committee, minus Poe Dameron, was in the control room, clustered around the circular table, watching the live holofeed from Poe's helmetcam. Right now, they were staring at nothing but some hunks of asteroid and the empty blackness beyond. Until something happened, all they could do was wait.

* * *

Rey had just finished getting dressed when there was a knock at the door.

Kylo grabbed his helmet, turned to her and whispered, "Remember, we know nothing except that we've been summoned to the surface," then put it on.

She nodded.

He turned to the door. "Who is it?"

"Captain Phasma, sir. I have a message."

He tilted his head. Phasma rarely came to his quarters. He keyed the door open. "What is it, Captain?"

"Sir. General Hux told me to convey to you the fact that the rest of the fleet is also in orbit around this planet, a fact we were not informed of through official channels."

Rey's eyes widened slightly, but she managed to keep her face calm otherwise. Inside, terror surged through her, making her blood run hot and cold in her veins and her stomach twist.

Kylo stood in the doorway. He was beyond still. Finally, he gave a single nod. "Thank you, Captain. Dismissed."

As soon as the door slid closed, he ripped the helmet off and turned to her, her feelings reflected in his eyes…terror and cold dread. "He knows," he whispered.

She bit her lip and paced the room, searching frantically for a solution, an idea. "We'll run. Steal a TIE fighter and just go. Find some uninhabited world…like we talked about before…we can live in the woods and…and build a little hut and…and go naked all the time and…I can scavenge for food. There are lots of things to eat in the wild, berries and roots and shellfish and…and…we'll have so many babies and…" she stopped when she looked in his eyes. He didn't have to say anything; she read it all there. They couldn't run, not with the whole fleet here. They'd be blown to bits. There was no way out. They had been summoned, and if they didn't go voluntarily, they'd be made to go, and their treachery would be exposed. They could fight, but they'd be on the defensive. That was bad strategy.

He knew it. She knew it.

She crossed the room and threw herself against his chest, and he nearly crushed her in his arms.

"What do we do?" She said, looking up at him.

He shook his head. "I don't know." Then, after a moment, he straightened. "But I know someone who might."

* * *

"Lt. Rodinan, keep the shields up."

"Sir?"

"Was I unclear? The shields will remain up for the duration of our orbit here." He knew Rodinan was struggling not to ask why, not to question an order. They were in friendly territory, deep within the Unknown Regions. Why would they need to keep the shields up? Protocol was to conserve power when there was no threat. But the lieutenant bit back his questions.

"Y-yes sir, General, sir."

Hux nodded. The _Finalizer_ was his ship. He would not surrender it willingly, not even to the other generals and admirals. It was his destiny to lead, and the others could pry that destiny out of his cold, dead hands.

* * *

They were in the meditation chamber, Kylo sitting in the chair, clutching his grandfather's helmet in his hands, his head bowed reverently. Rey was standing behind him, hands on his shoulders. The bond was open, their minds connected, focused.

"Grandfather. I…we…need your guidance. He…he knows. What we're planning."

The not-voice was stronger this time, the words clearer, as if written in bold type. "Of course he knows."

Kylo shook his head. "But we've been so careful."

"They always know."

"Oh, well, nice of you to give us a heads up on that one," Rey snapped, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Rey…"

"Shhh, son. I like her sass. Reminds me of my padawan." It felt like the whole room sighed. "Ahsoka." There was a pause. "Thought…you would have known…but you're…so young. I forget…what that was like."

"What do we do?" Kylo's voice was solemn.

"What you must. No reason…to change the plan. Now you know that…he knows. And knowledge…is power…"

"Great. Anything more specific?" Rey's practical nature wanted step-by-step instructions, not platitudes.

The light in the room flickered a bit. "Find somewhere with a nice, deep pit." Rey swore she could feel him smirking.

She rolled her eyes. "Your grandfather is a bit of a smartass."

"I noticed."

What felt like a laugh, if a laugh could feel like a brush of warm air over skin, wafted through the room. "You're both…so serious. Needed…to break the…tension."

Kylo let out a long puff of breath. It had actually helped. "Do you think he knows about the bond? About…us?"

"The Force bond. Probably. Don't hide it. He'll think it's…normal. Master-apprentice. He can't understand love. Devotion. None so deeply in the dark can. But he will sense it. And he will want to destroy it." Images flashed through their minds: a delicate face with soft brown curls, large expressive eyes, a tiny determined mouth; then another, wrinkled and grey and disfigured, eyes yellow-red pits of hatred and fury. _In your anger, you killed her_. "A lie, but she was no less dead. I was no less…lost." The ripples of the voice receded, like a wave upon sand. "Hold on…to one another. And when this is over, take me…to her. So we can be…together…at last."

* * *

 **A/N**

So, this was one of those chapters when I got sucked into the black hole that is research, but it was fun, and I hope it adds to the story.

All foods from Wookiepedia, with a bit of poetic license.

Most of Leia's memories of her youthful rebelliousness are based on tidbits I picked up, and expanded to fit this story. Leia apparently was given some 'martial instruction' with an unnamed personal instructor starting at age sixteen. I gave the instructor a name. Mot Rossim is an almost-anagram of the crotchety old guy who helped teach me to shoot a gun when I was a kid. (I grew up in the country, in the south. Everyone learned. It's not weird!) And the part about almost blowing her thumb off, well, no idea about blasters but if you hold certain handguns (revolvers) wrong you absolutely can blow your thumb off. Google 'cylinder gap thumb injury'. But don't click images unless you have a strong stomach. The part about Leia writing up a list of grievances against the Emperor is from research; the wording of her grievances is mine and based on the list of grievances against King George III from the Declaration of Independence, because we're reading that in one of my classes right now and it just fit so perfectly.

So, all the pieces are in motion. Next chapter, they encounter Snoke. Gah, I know that's going to take me a while, so be patient!

Thanks a million-billion for reading, faving, following and reviewing. I love you guys, and I love writing and getting to share my story with you!


	42. Peril

**Peril**

* * *

"Black leader to base," Poe's voice crackled over the comm, cutting through space, tinny and distant. "We have movement."

Everyone in the command center stilled, silence blanketing the room. All eyes turned to the live holo in the middle of the round conference table. Luke closed his eyes, sucked in a long breath, then opened them as he let it out slowly. Chewbacca put down the three smoked nerf sandwiches he had stacked together and taken a large bite of. Maz put a hand on his arm.

"Go ahead," Lt. Connix said. Although only Leia's committee knew the details of the mission, a small staff had been brought in to assist in running the command center. Like the rest of Poe's pilots, they were operating on a 'need to know' basis.

"We have movement," Poe said again. "A shuttle…Upsilon class…flanked by four TIE fighters. Appears to be on approach to the northeastern quadrant of the planet."

Leia picked up a headset and nodded to Lt. Connix, indicating she would take over. Connix disconnected.

"Poe, is it…"

"Yes. I…I'd know that shuttle anywhere. Can't tell who's in it but…it's his, Ma'am."

"Alright. Monitor them. Track them. Try to get a location, but don't interfere. And for Force's sake, don't reveal yourselves."

"Yes, Ma'am. Black leader out," Poe said.

They all watched the formation of ships, only just visible through the electrobinoculars of Poe's helmet. The TIE fighters broke off and returned to the ship as the shuttle hit the planet's atmosphere and was swallowed by the swirling, icy clouds that blanketed it.

She stared at the spot where it had disappeared for several minutes, then turned away, pacing around the curve of the table, arms crossed over her chest.

She sighed. Watching. Waiting. Pacing. Always, always watching and waiting and pacing.

 _The dead of night, barefoot and bleary eyed, the only light coming from the moon outside, the durasteel floor cold beneath her feet, the baby thrashing against her shoulder, his back arching as his muscles contracted, his little voice hoarse from crying. It had been going on for hours; she had been pacing for hours. Something was wrong. She could feel it, but she didn't know what, so she did the only thing she knew to do. She walked the floor and sang…a barely remembered song from a world that no longer existed._

 _Mirrorbright, shines the moon, its glow as soft as an ember_

 _When the moon is mirrorbright, take this time to remember_

 _Those you have loved but are gone_

 _Those who kept you so safe and warm_

 _The mirrorbright moon lets you see_

 _Those who have ceased to be_

 _Mirrorbright shines the moon, as fires die to their embers_

 _Those you loved are with you still—_

 _The moon will help you remember_

'Remember. With you still. I'm with you still, Ben,' she thought, as she stared at the cloud-shrouded world on the holoscreen. 'I'm with you still.'

* * *

It was a horrible approach. It wasn't just IFR, it was low IFR. Visibility was 0/0. Freezing clouds and fog obscured everything from the exosphere all the way to the ground – at least, that's what the computer said. They couldn't see the ground or anything else. Pellets of ice bounced off the viewscreen and scraped against the surface of the shuttle. Rey was thankful that the approach had been programmed into the navicomputer. There was no way to land in this otherwise; she would have had to go missed, and they simply couldn't do that. As it was, her hands gripped the controls, her mind reached out with the Force, ready to take over, jam in full power and go around at any second, just in case…just in case. Kylo sat in the copilot seat, similarly tensed, ready.

But the computer didn't fail – or betray them – and the lifters settled onto the frozen crust of the planet gently, the shuttle creaking as the metal adjusted to the planet's gravity and the cold, dense air.

She looked at him, a breathless, wordless plea, and he leaned across the seat and kissed her, a gentle, reverent kiss, his lips soft, his hand on her cheek. She ran her fingers up his arm, clutched at his cowl and pulled him closer, and then they were kissing deeply, almost painfully, clinging to each other, his arms going around her and pulling her against him, almost into his lap. His lips were hot, his hands rough against her back. It felt like he was devouring her, and she was devouring him right back, sucking his lip between her teeth, pressing herself against his chest. It wasn't about passion or arousal this time. This was deeper than that, it felt like it was consecrated, hallowed - almost holy.

When they broke apart, he reached up and pulled the hood of the robe he had given her over her head, framing her face.

"My apprentice," he said.

She reached down and picked up his mask, turning it in her hands. "My master."

"No. Your servant."

"My knight," she looked up at him, into those bottomless eyes, swam in their depths for a second longer, then handed him the mask.

As they walked across the frozen ground, the ice crunching beneath their feet, Rey felt the now-familiar darkness seeping toward her, only stronger, heavier somehow. It made her skin prickle and her mouth taste sour, like metal. Like blood.

The sleet made a constant hissing sound as it fell to the ground, and she shivered as fear slithered through her. Ice pellets scrubbed against her face, stung her eyes, and she pulled the hood of Kylo's – her - robe closer, trying to shut out the ice and wind and fear. Coldness worked its way into her veins, seeping through her, and she knew it wasn't caused by the weather. It was a dark, icy rage that seemed to be _affecting_ the planet's weather, freezing everything. Killing everything.

Kylo stalked forward, silent, intent, seemingly unaffected – but she knew better. She felt the fear sliding into his mind as well, felt his careful control as he kept it at bay. _Do you remember what I told you?_ His voice was a low whisper, even in her mind.

 _Yes_. _I remember everything_. There were certain conventions, attitudes that were important to maintain when in the presence of the Supreme Leader. Things he had told her, shown her, things he had learned the hard way: The importance of not approaching too closely ( _his body slammed against the stone wall ten meters back, the breath knocked out of him, lungs feeling like they might collapse because he had crossed an invisible line that he hadn't even known existed_ ), of dropping to one's knees _(a hand like iron clamping around his shoulders and pushing him to the ground, his knees bruised and bleeding against the stone floor_ ), of downcast eyes and stillness and silence until one was addressed. Of controlling one's emotions and reactions, subjugating one's own thoughts and feelings until they were buried so deeply you forgot what they were. Of keeping one's face impassive (the mask never a certain shield because he could be told to remove it – and she didn't have one), never betraying any opinion, especially one of dissent, defiance…disgust. Of submitting wholly, body, mind and soul. Her entire being rebelled at the idea. But she would do it, enough that _he_ believed. Believed she was broken, tame. And then…she would _enjoy_ making him pay for what he had done to Kylo, to Ben; for what he still wanted to do to both of them. She would relish it. She shuddered, wondering if that thought was coming from herself or from the dark currents of energy that swirled around this planet.

No, it wasn't about revenge. She was stronger than that. She…they…would do what they needed to do and then they would be free.

 _And the Force shall free you_ whispered through her mind…not Kylo's voice, not Snoke's…something older, wiser…darker. She clenched her teeth together to keep them from chattering.

A structure loomed ahead, appearing like a nightmare vision out of the icy mist. Dark towers rose from the ground, ancient, looming…exuding a darkness that was deeper even than Snoke's.

"Wh-what is this place?" She asked, her voice shaking.

"I don't know, exactly. He never stays in the same place for long, and yet, they're all the same. A dark world, an ancient temple built by the Sith or some other dark Force users. I feel the power here, the draw. Do you?"

She nodded. She did; it was like a magnetic field pulling her toward the structure, but also toward her inner darkness. She could almost smell it, a cloying sweetness mixed with the scent of rot and decay. She remembered how she had almost had to be dragged into the audience chamber on the Finalizer; that wasn't true this time. Her feet moved toward the tower almost of their own accord. It frightened her. She reached out a hesitant hand…gloved, as his were…and touched his sleeve. He slowed, touched his glove against hers, but didn't stop his steps, and turned his head toward her, his face hidden by the mask. She opened her mouth but found she couldn't form words; a thought was all she could manage. _Wh-why do I feel like_ _ **want**_ _to go there?_

 _The dark side is very strong here, and very…persuasive. Some places are like that. I remember…Korriban. Malachor V. When I was young. He took me to those places, and I felt it, the call, the pull. We have to be careful here. It will wrap around us, trap us._

She gulped. Wonderful.

They were at the doors of the tower now, and she wasn't even surprised when they creaked open on their own. They stepped into an anteroom, and the doors slammed closed behind them, plunging them into darkness. Another set of doors in the opposite wall swung open, revealing a large, dim hall lit only by torches. At the far end of the hall was a large stone dais, and on it, an ancient stone throne. But it was empty. The room, however, was not. Six masked figures stepped out of the shadows on either side of the hall, holding Force pikes, vibroaxes, swords. No lightsabers, although she could feel that they were Force users.

Damn. They would have to deal with these first, apparently.

Rey took a step closer to Kylo, angling her body in a defensive position, her hand hovering over her lightsaber as the masked figures closed in. But the six figures stopped and bowed their heads to Kylo. He tensed. "Knights of Ren. I did not expect to see you here."

"If your new apprentice is to join them, she will need to complete her initiation," a voice…one she knew…came from the throne, and she only just managed not to jump.

Kylo and the knights dropped to their knees as soon as they were aware of their leader's presence, and she hurried to follow, forced herself to keep her eyes on the stone floor in front of her, to remain still and silent, to keep her mind blank.

"Initiation, Supreme Leader?" Kylo spoke, his voice respectful, his emotions carefully controlled…but she could sense his uneasiness.

"Of course. That is our way."

"Yes, Supreme Leader. I just…did not expect that it would be today."

"Why? Is she not ready? Has she resisted you?"

She could almost hear him gritting his teeth. She didn't know what this initiation was, but she knew he didn't want her to have to do it…and yet, if he said she was not ready, it would mean admitting he had failed with her. Anakin had told them not to bother hiding the existence of the bond, so she allowed a thought across. _Tell him I'm ready. That I'll do this...initiation._ Careful to keep the thought, the words, shielded.

He sucked in a breath. _No_.

 _I can handle myself_. However awful it was, she could endure it.

 _No. You can't. You don't understand what it is…_

 _Then tell me._

Silence.

 _Please. Just agree. Before he loses patience._ She could feel Snoke's anger building; surely he could too.

"She did not resist. She is m…ours." He corrected himself quickly, but she could tell from Snoke's sneer, not quickly enough. "It's just that…is it not too soon? I had far more training before..."

"You were a child. She is not. Either you have succeeded and she is capable of the next step, or you have failed and she is of no use to us."

She couldn't stand it; whatever it was she would figure a way out; they hadn't planned for this but she could improvise. "I'm ready. I am," she blurted.

Kylo's entire body stiffened.

She allowed a tiny glance in his direction.

"You have trained me well. Please, master, let me…" she struggled for the right phrase…"prove myself. I will not fail you." She looked back down at the stone floor in front of her. _Whatever it is I'll find a way out, a way around it, but we have to agree for now, we have to, don't you see?_

 _There is no way out. He'll send us somewhere with…orders…a task…and if you don't do it, the knights will kill you. That's why they're here. It's a trap._

 _Send us? On a ship?_

 _Most certainly. This world is uninhabited._

She dipped her head lower so the hood fell forward, but she knew he felt the tiny uptilt of her lips. _Then that's the solution. I'll disable the ship, then we'll deal with the knights. You know I can do it. If I could bring the Finalizer to a stand-still…_

 _Yes. My brilliant love._ He gave a stiff nod. "I concur. She is ready."

"We shall see." Her eyes were still trained on the floor, but she felt Snoke turn his gaze toward her. She felt his eyes boring into her, searing her with his contempt. "Girl."

"Yes. Supreme Leader." She nearly choked on the words.

"Tell me, why do you wish to join us?"

She licked her lips. "I only wish to please my master, and in turn his master, by helping bring order to the galaxy. Supreme Leader." The words tasted like dust in her mouth.

He pressed his long fingers together, regarded her over his steepled hands. She struggled not to squirm. "Kylo Ren has taught you to say the right words. That is good. But let us see if they are only words, or if they are true."

Even though she knew what to expect this time, the sudden, sharp intrusion into her mind shocked her, the pain took her breath away. She did as they had practiced, didn't resist, but kept her true secrets hidden, always just around a corner, behind a wall in her mind. She gritted her teeth and scrunched her eyes closed, and _endured_ as he poked and pried, looking closely at what had happened on the Finalizer, tearing every memory apart. It hurt, emotionally, physically…especially when he moved from the memories of her training to the more personal ones. She didn't want to let him see, didn't want to let him have those memories, but she had to, if they were going to keep the real secrets. It sickened her, to have him looking at _that_ …but the memories were only visuals, the words, the emotions that went with the actions were buried deep. That was too precious. _That_ he would not have. He would think it was simply a manifestation of passion, a surrender to physical desire.

"It has been a long time since Kylo Ren indulged his more…physical…desires. And never so often with the same person. Never more than once with the same person, if I remember correctly, my apprentice?"

Kylo gave an small, abrupt nod. Felt his barely-controlled anger and mortification.

How did he know that? Was no shred of privacy allowed? Tears squeezed out of the corners of her eyes…for her humiliation, for his.

She felt waves of rage coming from Kylo, heard the leather of his gloves creak as he clenched his fists.

"But then, he's never _kept_ a…plaything…in his quarters before."

Her face burned and her stomach twisted, a wave of nausea sweeping over her. Kept. She sank into herself, dropping her face to her chest, burying her shame and fury. It made her feel dirty. She suspected that was the point.

She knelt there, still, silent, her cheeks burning, as he looked at things that were private, that were special, that were beautiful, and made them seem ugly and sordid and cheap.

Hot, shameful tears stung her eyes and ran down her cheeks. She felt Kylo, straining, aching to comfort her, to defend her. Felt him, tensed to move. _NO!_ She was ferocious, adamant.

 _Rey, I can't stand this._

 _Let him think what he wants. We know._ She remembered, every word, every look, every act of love and adoration. He would give her an Empire – or give one up for her.

 _Yes. We know._ He remained motionless, but underneath he was beautiful, molten violence; hot currents of rage and possessive protectiveness flowed from him, and she loved him more than ever.

She knew that all that mattered was that they prevail, but she hoped, she dearly _hoped_ , that there would be time enough…just a moment…for her to shove all her thoughts out there, through the Force, for her to let the _Supreme Leader_ know the truth – that they loved one another, fiercely, deeply, and with a devotion he could never comprehend.

It wouldn't be much longer…it shouldn't have been this long but for the Knights. Their presence was unanticipated.

Snoke finally, to her relief, left off tormenting her by prying into her private memories and moved on to Geonosis.

"Your performance in battle was…acceptable. But tell me, Kylo Ren, why, when she was so close to embracing her true potential, did you stop her?"

"I…am not sure what you mean?"

"The governor, the one who betrayed the First Order…she was going to end him, but you… _you_ stopped her. Explain yourself."

"I..I…" Kylo stammered, clearly taken aback by the fact that Snoke knew such specific details of what had happened there. "I thought he would be more valuable alive, in the event you wished him interrogated. He is in detention on board as we speak. I can have him delivered here…"

Snoke waved a hand. "He is irrelevant. An insect. It was your performance, and hers, that interested me. A test that I can't say either of you passed. Well, there will be others. Soon."

He turned back to Rey. "You are curious. You want to know what is expected of you. For the initiation."

"Yes, Supreme Leader," she said, her voice as steady as she could make it.

"Hmmm. It seems my apprentice has neglected an important part of your training. Or perhaps he didn't think he needed to explain the initiation to you, since you were there for his."

She forgot herself and her head snapped up. She drew her brows together and pursed her lips in confusion. "There? For his…initiation? I don't understand."

"Of course, you missed most of it, since you were hiding, and of course, you were only five, and then Skywalker erased your memory…"

Her eyes widened as understanding bloomed in her mind. Oh. OH.

"Let me show you, girl. I wouldn't want you to misunderstand exactly what it _means_ to be one of us."

She shook her head. No, she didn't need to see, didn't want to see this again…she had lived it, even if she didn't remember, had seen it in Kylo's mind…but then the images were there, not the anguished view through his eyes…she was watching from the outside this time, like it was a holovid, but with the framing too close and the colors too bright, watching as he and the others, the knights, the ones standing here, she presumed, tore through the academy, cutting down anyone in their path, whether they tried to fight or surrender. Killing some of them in their beds. The red crackling lightsaber slashing, slashing…the smell of burning flesh seared her nostrils, the screams echoed in her ears, and everywhere, there was blood and fire. Force, it had taken so long…she hadn't realized it had taken so long, thought it was quick, but it lasted for what felt like hours. It wasn't furious and swift and anger-fueled. It was so…deliberate. She put her hands to her temples and screamed, collapsing to the stone floor as the vision went on and on.

So. That was what was expected. As an initiation. But there was no Jedi academy now; she didn't know what he would expect of her…

"That is soon remedied." And then he was in her mind again, prying, looking for attachments. "This is going to be more challenging than it is with most. No family, no friends, no home. Hmm, yes, the fact that _no one_ ever cared for you will make this far more difficult. But not impossible. Surely there's something…The Resistance. Of course. They took you in, made you _one of them_ , treated you like you _mattered_. Skywalker, Organa, the traitorous Stormtrooper…:

Her eyes widened and her breath caught in her throat.

"But, no…that's too ambitious a target. That would be a battle, and that is not what is wanted." The cold eyes turned to Kylo. "Him. You feel…something…for him."

She tensed, focused on keeping her mental walls intact.

"Dependence. Need. Compassion." He spat the words as if they were oaths. "Yes, that makes sense. You have, after all, been his pet. Tell me, girl, if I ordered you to kill him right now, would you?

Bile rose in her throat and lightning-charged adrenaline raced through her veins, but she answered without hesitation, her voice steady. "Yes, Supreme Leader." They had practiced for this. Answer immediately, no reluctance, no shock – no widening of the eyes or flare of the nostrils or sharp inhale that betrayed any emotion. No tightening of the lips or rise in the tone of voice that would betray defiance. An unaffected expression; an instant answer.

She was better at it than he was.

She said it was from years of dealing with Unkar Plutt, who could sense desperation like a wampa could smell fresh meat.

"Hmmm. Good. But that is still not a fitting task." More looking, more probing as her head throbbed. "Ah, but here's something. You did, after all, live _somewhere_. For so long you were nothing, no one. A scavenger. Oh, but there were those you cared for. The old woman. The scavengers who taught you, the kind ones – Troade, Mashra. The children. But mostly you were treated like rubbish, ignored, cheated, beaten. By this Unkar Plutt and his toadies. You were treated like garbage because you were _nobody_. But now, now you can show them who you _really_ are. Knights. Take her to Niima Outpost. And girl?"

She looked up, barely able to speak. "Y-yes?"

"You may return when no one is left alive there."

The six masked figures closed ranks around her, forming a human cage. She saw Kylo rise to join them, and then saw him freeze, saw him forced back to his knees.

The figure on the throne sneered. "Your presence is not necessary for this, my _loyal_ apprentice. Besides, you and I have _much to discuss_ while she carries out her task."

 _Kylo?_ The knights were moving, herding her toward the doors, out of the fortress. Away from him.

 _Rey!_ He spoke, his control breaking. "No, please, allow me to go with her…"

Snoke silenced him with a look.

 _I know what to do…how to disable the ship, the knights…I can do this. I can do this. I'll be back as quickly as I can._ Her eyes never left him as she was hustled toward the doors.

 _I love you._ He permeated the words with the full force of his feelings, so intense she could almost touch it.

 _I know._ It was her last thought before the doors slammed.

* * *

He watched in frozen horror as the doors closed behind Rey and the other knights. He felt them leaving the building, moving across the icy surface to a ship. His entire being strained to follow her, to keep track of her movements. So he didn't see Snoke's hand lift, didn't realize the danger until he felt himself being dragged across the floor, felt long, bony fingers tighten around his throat, felt his airway squeezed. Blackness crept into the edges of his vision, closing in, and little lights flashed before his eyes.

It took him a second to remember that he could fight this. It had been so long since he had done anything but submit to his master. But he would not submit now. He would fight. For Rey. He felt struggled against the Force hold, scrabbled with his fingers, clawing at Snoke's outstretched hand, when the pressure suddenly disappeared, his body became his again, and Snoke dropped him. He collapsed to the floor, coughing and gasping and limp.

"So, my _apprentice_." Snoke's voice was a low hiss that curled into his mind. The temperature in the chamber dropped, icy tendrils of hate licking toward him, coiling around his ankles and snaking up his legs. "How long have you been planning to betray me?"

* * *

Sorry for the cliffhanger! Well, not totally sorry but you know…I'll get more written as soon as I can. If it makes it a bit better, I promise I won't be killing off any major characters (except, hopefully, Snoke, but we all want him to go, right? Because he is vile.). I don't do tragedy…but peril? Yes. There has to be some of that. But Kylo is stronger than he used to be, with his love for Rey to motivate him, and Rey, well, we all know she's very resourceful.

Also, for the purposes of this story, they can get to Jakku in an hour or so. It's described as a 'jumping off point for the Unknown Regions' so it is fairly close, and with a fast ship, I figure that's believable. Ship speed/nav equipment capabilities must impact travel times just like they do with aircraft here in our world (compare a Cessna 172 to a 747…there's a vast difference, plus add in using GPS vs. older navigation methods like NDBs or VORs…the difference can be huge). So, it doesn't take too long to get back and forth from Jakku to this unknown planet. Because plot. ;)

Gah, this was…challenging. I'm much better at writing emotions (and lemons!) than battles. But here we are, so I'm doing my best to make it feel right. It'll take a few chapters for all the pieces to fall in place, but they will…well, I hope so anyway!

Thank you for reading, and especially reviewing! It makes my day, or night.


	43. Separation

**Separation**

* * *

"There's a ship leaving the planet," Poe's voice said.

"The shuttle?" Leia asked, leaning toward the holoscreen, squinting her eyes. She could see a small speck of a ship but couldn't discern what type it was. Damn, getting old sucked.

"No. _A_ shuttle, but not that one. This is a Lambda class."

She frowned. "I don't like this. Have two of your folks tail it. Stay out of sight, but don't lose them. The rest of you maintain your current position. And be ready."

"For what?"

"Anything."

"Yes, Ma'am."

* * *

Luck had not exactly been on their side so far, but maybe that was changing, she thought, as she looked around the interior of the Lambda-class T-4a shuttle. She knew this kind of ship; Jakku had been littered with them, most still inside Star Destroyers. She knew every system, every wire, every part as if she had the schematic in her head. But none of that helped unless she could get away from the watchful eyes of the Knights of Ren.

 _Kylo_?

Nothing. She could feel him, but he was shielding himself. That couldn't be good.

 _Kylo?_

 _I'm here. I'm fine._

He didn't sound fine. She had to hurry. She had to get _back._

 _I'll be back. Soon_.

She looked around. There was a compact 'fresher through a folding door toward the back of the ship. That would do. She cleared her throat, shifted in her seat, moved around. No one said anything. Finally she raised a hand. "Um. Excuse me?"

"Silence, initiate", the tallest knight said.

"I, uh, I need to take a pee," she said.

"We are not to let you out of our sight."

"Fine. Watch." She narrowed her eyes, and her voice dropped. "I'm sure Kylo would have _no problem_ with that."

The tall knight squirmed a bit in his seat. "Well, hmm…"

"Oh, for frack's sake, let her pee, Dala Ren. What's she gonna do? Flush herself down the toilet into the vacuum of space?"

The voice sounded female. Rey looked at the smaller knight in surprise.

"What, you think you were gonna be the first girl? Besides Master Ren, who I _clearly_ don't have to tell you about, we have two female, three male and one non-binary."

"Oh." Rey bit her lip, not sure what to say. It was disconcerting, talking to the masks.

"Not that you won't have to work twice as hard, being non-male. The Supreme Leader is, like, a thousand years old and…."

"Enough, Ahsha Ren," the tallest knight, the one who had spoken first, snapped.

The female knight made an obscene gesture in the tall knight's direction. "We're not s'posed to talk to you until after. They say it makes it easier if we have to kill ya. Stupid rule. I'd slit your throat just as quick now as before I talked to you." Rey could feel the smirk in the woman's voice. "But Dala Ren is a stickler for procedure. And he thinks I talk too much."

"You do. Go to the refresher, initiate. But make it quick."

"Right, then." Rey stood and scurried down the corridor.

She slid the door closed and latched it, then shucked the heavy black robe, leaving her in far more maneuverable tight fitting garments. She put one foot on the toilet and the other on the sink, reached up and removed a ceiling panel, and shimmied her way into the recess above. It was dark, but that didn't matter. She had crawled through so many of these ships she knew exactly where she was going. Dust tickled her nose, and she scrubbed at her face to keep from sneezing. She had an idea…well, she had several, but the quickest and easiest would only work if the knights' masks didn't filter out gases. She remembered what Finn had said about the Stormtrooper helmets – they didn't – but these might be different.

 _Kylo? Kylo, if you can hear me, I need to ask you something. It's important._

 _What?_ His voice was strained. She frowned. Something was wrong, badly wrong, and he was keeping it from her, but she could sense it, feel it, taste it. _Hurry_ , her brain screamed, and she wasn't sure if it was her thought or his.

 _Your masks – the knights' masks – do they filter out toxins? Gases?_

 _Wha – no. Why?_

 _Good. I'll explain later. I…I've got this, and then I'll be there and we'll…just hold on, okay?_

When she found the access panel to the mechanical room, she carefully lifted it a few centimeters, peered down to make sure the room was empty, then slid it open and dropped silently to the floor.

The room was pitch dark, but that made no difference. She found the part she was looking for by touch.

She was already pulling herself back into the ceiling when she heard knocking on the door of the 'fresher. She focused for a second and used the Force to flush the toilet, then turn on the sink.

* * *

He could still feel her. Growing more distant, but safe, alive. He was careful not to let his terror seep through the bond. She needed to be able to concentrate, to focus.

"Remove your helmet, Kylo Ren, and answer. How long have you been planning to betray me?"

He reached up, slowly, unlatched the helmet and dropped it to his side. He could have pleaded, cowered, denied…he would have, in the past. But instead, he pulled himself from the floor, stood to his full height, and stared into the Supreme Leader's flat, black eyes. "It was inevitable, was it not?"

"Oh. Do you fancy yourself a Sith Lord now? Hmmf. You are not that. You are further from that than you have been in years."

"I don't know what you mean."

"Do you think I can't sense it? The light in her? In you? She has _contaminated_ you." He steepled his fingers, looked at them. "I have always been perplexed by how easily humans are controlled by their biological urges. Are the needs of your private parts really so strong as to outweigh everything we've worked for? Everything I've taught you? Is her pretty face, her naked body so magnetic? That you would give up everything to put your flesh in hers? Is that place between her legs so special-"

 _"You will not speak of her like that!"_ His voice echoed through the chamber, loud and commanding, his face contorted with rage. Fear washed through him, cold and creeping, as he realized how he had spoken to his…no, he would never call him his master again…but still, ice ran through his veins. Just that tone of voice had gotten him hours of punishment when he was younger. Never mind the words he had spoken, the way he had ordered, demanded. But he did not lower his head; he would not allow her to be spoken of like that, no matter what punishment it earned him.

But no pain came.

"Ah, yes, there's the truth. Your compassion for her - it is a weakness. But like all weakness, it can be eliminated." A long skeletal hand lifted, pointed toward him, tiny lines of electricity snaking toward him, pricking at his skin, almost teasing.

He gritted his teeth and lifted his head. "If you are going to kill me, get on with it," he snarled. He could feel her; she was crawling through a ceiling access tunnel. The air was dusty and stale. Little curls of hair stuck to her cheeks and forehead; her face was scrunched up in that little determined pout. She was perfect. He could almost touch her presence in the Force, he would hold on to that…

 _Rey…run! Escape from the knights, but don't come back here. Run and run and then run some more. Rey. I will never leave you._

* * *

She felt a spike of panic and then…an odd sort of peace, through the bond. _Rey. I will never leave you._

Her heart was pounding in her chest. He was…standing, tall and defiant in front of the Supreme Leader, their eyes locked. He was waiting for something, something inevitable…

 _No! You fight! You don't just stand there and accept it! I'm coming back and I better find you alive when I get there! Plead, fight, beg, whatever you have to do, just wait for me!_ And she sent waves of strength to him, like the ocean waves she had loved watching on Ahch'to, one after another, the bond lapping at his mind, pounding against his consciousness, demanding he stay with her. Then something occurred to her, something new…

She turned her thoughts toward the creature on the throne. She had never tried this over a distance; she didn't even know if it was possible. And he would have a remarkably strong mind; it might not work at all, and what if he sensed her, caught her, pulled her in somehow - she shuddered - but it was worth a try. It wouldn't be a mind-trick, per se, more like a _nudge_. She had to be clever, had to make it a thought he would actually _have_. It could have no compassion, no kindness – it had to be cruel and cunning. She infused her thoughts with every bit of Force strength she had. _You don't want to kill him. You want to make him suffer. Make him pay. You won't kill him now. You won't kill him now. You won't kill him now_.

She stopped, slumping forward. She was wrung out, exhausted, like she had been climbing up one of the largest dunes on Jakku at high noon.

In the 'fresher below, the knocking continued. She pushed herself back up on her hands and knees and crawled along the passage as fast as she could, Forced off the water and dropped back into the cubicle.

From outside the door, a voice demanded, "Initiate. Come out immediately."

"Just a sec!" She stepped down, a foot almost slipping into the toilet, but she caught herself, slid the access panel back into place and stepped to the floor, slipping her robe on and flinging the door open.

Dala Ren started, his hand hovering at the level of Rey's face where he had been about to bang on the door again.

A stickler for procedure, Ahsha Ren had called him. So probably pretty uptight. "Sorry I took so long," she said, smoothing her hands over her robe. "My moonblood came early and I didn't exactly bring any supplies for that with me so I had to wad up some wiping paper and improvise. Boy, being in space really screws with your cycles..."

He held up both hands. "Further explanation is not necessary, initiate. Go. Sit." He pointed at her chair.

She did as directed, barely able to contain a self-satisfied smirk. An easily accepted lie.

Ahsha Ren twisted in her seat. "There's an herb from my planet; you chew it; tastes like bantha-piss but it stops the monthlies. I'll get you some tomorrow. Unless you're dead."

Rey nodded. "Uh, thank you?" Then she tucked her feet under her, pulled her knees to her chest and dropped her head forward, letting her hood fall over her face.

* * *

A look flickered over Snoke's face, a look Kylo had never seen…a calm, flat expression, distant and passive. It was gone as quickly as it appeared, but he wondered…

"Hmmmm. I should kill you, after such defiance. But no. No, I don't think I will. I've invested a great deal of time and effort into you. It would be a waste. I think, rather, that a lesson is in order. The one I've had in mind since I first ordered you to bring the girl to me." He spread the fingers of his hand and slammed Kylo into the stone wall, where he held him in an invisible grip. Kylo felt long fingers scraping across his arms, his chest, his back, grabbing his chin and banging his head against the wall. Everywhere the phantom fingers touched, they ripped open bleeding wounds and left a trail of agony that burned like fire.

He barely registered the pain. He felt strength, and determination, and an unbreakable resolve coming through the bond, and it surged through him like water, cool and soothing. She was still making him stronger, even from so far away. He would endure, he would fight - for her. Anything for her.

"How selfless and compassionate of her, to do this – for you. For _you_. A great sacrifice indeed." Snoke laughed, and then reached, deep inside, ripping into Kylo's mind in a way he never had before, even when he was young, when he was still Ben. He felt blood drip from his nose, felt a burning at the back of his eyes and a pounding in his eardrums. He winced but didn't cry out as carefully shielded thoughts were dragged from the places he had hidden them.

"Ah. You think she _loves_ you. Love – a stupid concept, invented by people who need an excuse for their weakness. I suppose she thinks _you_ love _her_ , too."

"You…you couldn't possibly understand," he gritted out. "I will not speak of it."

"Of course you were seduced by her…after all, no one else ever bothered to sacrifice _anything_ for _you_ , did they? Not your _father_. Not your _mother_. But this girl did. Yes, I almost understand why you would succumb to that. I almost _pity_ you. And I suppose you haven't completely forgotten the power of the darkness. After all, you _let_ her do it."

He roared, thrashing and straining against the Force hold. They had practiced getting out of them, but he wasn't thinking clearly, he wasn't focusing on finding the threads of power that were holding him; he was just struggling, channeling his fury but not focusing.

Snoke pressed a button, activating a commlink. "The target should arrive soon. Go to the landing zone. When a Lambda class shuttle arrives, start transmitting." He turned his head to Kylo. "You get to watch. It will be instructive, seeing that lovely light leave her eyes…which it will, either way. I wonder which it will be? Death or darkness? I almost hope she chooses darkness. I'd enjoy watching the dark truly infuse her. She would be magnificent, would she not? Oh, I know you've thought about it…that power flowing through her…but not the reality of it, perhaps. Not the reality of your little plaything slaughtering innocents. No, you thought you could protect her from that…that only you would get your hands dirty. Yes, I do hope she gives in. Will you still _love_ her when she's covered in blood, when she discovers the release that comes from killing those she hates? From simply killing? When that light is utterly and irrevocably gone?"

"Enough! Please." The first word was a shout, the second a plea.

Snoke laughed again, a snide, oily laugh.

Kylo lifted his chin. "You underestimate her. She is stronger than you know."

"We shall see. They should be arriving soon."

This time, he remembered. Remembered practicing…Rey standing across from him, a hand stretched out, pinning him in place, her eyes sparkling and her lips turned up in a grin. 'Come and get me if you want me.' A wink. He remembered how he had found the threads holding him, and he did that, found them – not threads but cords this time, holding him, squeezing him – and he slowly began picking them apart, tuning out Snoke's taunting as best he could.

He had managed to free one hand and one leg without being detected when a holo projection filled the room – a projection of the shuttle landing on the sands of Jakku.

* * *

Rey sat as still as she could, slowing her breathing. Even with the protective mask she had gotten from the maintenance bay, she needed to use the Force to keep from giving in to the gas that was slowly filling the ship. This wasn't an ability they had practiced; she had only read about it. But maybe, between the flimsy emergency mask and what she was able to remember, she would be able to stay alert.

The ship had grown quiet, the only sounds the hum of electronics and the purr of the engines. The muffled conversation about pod racing that three of the knights had been engaged in had tapered off, the last sentence, "…and when he came around the corner, he spun out, hit the sand and skidded into the…into the…" His words slurred and she never learned what the racer had skidded into.

She peeked out from under her hood. All the knights were slumped in their seats, heads lolling to the sides, still. Not dead, just sleeping.

She stood, waited to see if anyone reacted. Moved silently toward the controls. She felt slow, sluggish. She pressed the emergency mask tighter against her face.

Dala Ren lifted a hand. "In…initiate. Return…to your seat…at once." And then his head thunked onto his chest.

She made her way to the pilot's seat and tugged at the pilot knight. Why did this one have to be so kriffing heavy, she wondered, as she grunted and pulled, finally dumping the pilot onto the floor and sliding into the seat. She took a minute to acclimate herself to the controls and then started punching keys on the computer, but nothing worked.

" _Leaving hyperspace,"_ the computer beeped.

"Fine," she said, still tapping at keys. Nothing.

" _Preparing for autoland sequence. Destination Jakku."_

"Gah. No. I don't want to go back to Jakku. Reverse course."

" _Course is pre-programmed. Course change requires authorization."_

She grabbed the controls and tried to hand fly, but they didn't respond. "Manual override," she said.

" _Manual override disabled_ ," the computer responded.

"I'm beginning to dislike you," she replied as the ship's wings folded in and they hit atmo. Well, fine, she'd just figure out how to get control of the ship and take off again. She resented the wasted time, but there was nothing for it.

* * *

OMG, can these two just kill Snoke already? I'm so tired of writing him! I thought I'd at least have them back together in this chapter but it's slow going for them right now. And they hate being apart. But soon - very soon! I promise!

The knights – gah, I find writing them challenging because we know so little about them, and I haven't done much with them, but hopefully what I did worked – at first, they were just this monolithic group, but that was boring so I decided to give a few of them personalities and names.

The **_Lambda_** **-class T-4a shuttle** was used by the Empire, both for high-ranking officers including Darth Vader and the Emperor, but also for transporting Stormtroopers or cargo. I figured the FO would use whatever leftovers were around, and the knights got one of these. I have no idea if Lambda class shuttles have a refresher – they must, though. Palpatine was old as dirt. He probably had to pee all the time.

Next chapter, the conflict continues. Rey thinks she's going to have a quick turn-around, but is confronted by Bazine; Kylo fights back, the Resistance comes to the rescue and the Finalizer gets involved. Well, hopefully all that will happen next chapter…I can't seem to write anything short.

Thank you for going along on this long, meandering ride with me! I appreciate you, and love getting reviews and comments – it makes me so happy to see one pop up, and I'll always respond, because I really like chatting with you guys – it's one of the best things about this. (ff dot net is being weird right now and not letting me respond, but as soon as it gets that fixed I'll reply.) Thank you all, and I'll get the next update done as soon as I can!


	44. Resolution

**Resolution**

* * *

His lightsaber was still clipped to his belt. Snoke had not even bothered to disarm him. That fact grated at his pride. However, he realized that it meant that once he was free, he was also armed. He carefully extricated his other arm from the Force hold as he watched the shuttle touch down, blowing sand obscuring it from view temporarily.

When the sand cleared, the hatch was open – but no one came out. Seconds became minutes, and nothing happened.

* * *

Onboard the shuttle, the computer was busy following its standard protocol by opening the hatch and extending the ramp.

"No, no, no. Don't open the hatch, you vexing thing," Rey grumbled, knowing the computer wouldn't listen. If the knights got enough fresh air, they would wake up – which she wanted them to do eventually, just not yet.

She had tried everything she knew to get the computer to cooperate, including smacking the console several times – a procedure that worked surprisingly often - but, having fulfilled its programmed mission, it demanded voice authentication for any further action. She would have to hack into it to get it to plot a reverse-course, but she was tired. So tired. She glanced at the open hatch, at the glaring sunlight. She would just step outside, get a few good breaths of fresh air first.

She stepped out onto the ramp, and stopped, squinting. She pulled the emergency mask off, dropped it just inside the ship and walked outside, into a wall of heat. It smacked her in the face, engulfed her body, sucked the moisture from her lips. She had forgotten how fierce it was. She had forgotten how it _smelled_ – like rocks and rust and hot glass. She lifted a hand, shielding eyes that had grown accustomed to the dimly lit corridors of the Finalizer. There was the wash station; there were the tents that so many of the shriveled desert-dwellers lived in; there was the muddy watering trough; there was the rusted corrugated roof of Unkar Plutt's concession stand. For a second she couldn't move as she looked at this place that was so familiar – and yet, now, so totally alien.

She walked down the ramp, took a few steps onto the sand, savored the way it shifted and gave underfoot. So unlike durasteel.

She turned, blinking a few times as her vision adjusted, to see a tall woman in form-fitting gray and black clothing, with black lips and fingertips. "YOU!" Rey shouted, and ran, flat-out, toward the woman, igniting her lightsaber on the way.

* * *

He could see her, standing on the sand, kneading it with her feet, lost for a second to memory. Just her. No Knights of Ren. She was squinting in the glaring sun, but still she was beautiful. Luminous.

Then holo-Rey's face changed, from retrospective to perplexed to ferocious, in microseconds. "You!" she shouted, and then she was running, lightsaber held high in an offensive grip. He knew who it was, saw her through Rey's eyes. Bazine Netal.

A wave of fury, pure and brilliant, washed through him. He wasn't sure if it was hers or his or both, but it was blinding.

The angle of the holovid changed as the comm was dropped to the ground, and he saw shiny black leather high-heeled boots in a wide stance and, farther away, holo-Rey, snarling, her feet pounding against the sand, kicking up plumes of it behind her heels.

"Why is _Bazine Netal_ there?" He asked, not sure if he would get an answer.

"To send the holovid, so you could watch your precious _love_ give in to the dark – and to ensure that the girl doesn't make it back. You didn't think I'd let her _live_ , even if she performed her task, did you? I did promise to show you the dark side."

A blaster bolt shot toward holo-Rey.

He couldn't breathe, couldn't think, as fear coursed through him.

Rey deflected it easily and yanked the blaster from Bazine's hands with the Force, tossing it across the sand, and the fear turned to pride.

 _I told you I could handle myself,_ she thought, and kept running toward Bazine, who scrambled up onto a rock just in time to avoid a lightsaber-slash across the thigh. "What are you doing here?" Holo-Rey demanded.

Bazine pointed at the comm on the ground. "Sending documentation. By the way, where are the others?" She asked, as if they were just having a normal conversation.

"Napping," Holo-Rey snapped.

Confusion flickered over Bazine's face, followed by determination. "Fine. Guess I have to do everything myself." Bazine leapt down from the rock, and dropped into a fighting stance, moving slowly, sinuously across the sand, angling toward the blaster.

"Bring it," Rey snarled, gathering the Force around herself, preparing to fight. "If I could take out six Knights of Ren, I can certainly handle one bounty hunter."

Bazine rolled her eyes. "Kriffing Force users. So smug. You think your _special_ _powers_ will win any fight for you. Well, I've trained with the Knights of Ren on many occasions, fought with and against them for real, and I've bested most of them."

 _Don't let her touch you. That black stuff on her fingers and lips is poisonous._

 _Good to know. And just when I was considering kissing her._

 _Rey! I'm serious. She may not have access to the Force, but she's deadly, and tricky._

 _Alright, alright._

Bazine stalked around Rey in a semi-circle. "So, you're Kylo Ren's little _girlfriend_?"

Rey glared but didn't answer as she turned, following Bazine's movements, anticipating what she would do next.

"Now I see why I never got any from him. He likes them young, I guess. Innocent. _Untouched_." She arched a heavy black brow. "I can see that with that one. How old are you, anyway?"

 _Ignore her. She's trying to rattle you._

 _I know that._

"Old enough to handle you."

Bazine chuckled. "Oh, that young." She looked Rey up and down. "You're just a child, aren't you? I'll bet he thoroughly enjoyed corrupting you. Was he rough with you the first time? I bet he was. Probably bent you over and took you from behind – I hear he likes that. I've worked plenty of missions with the Knights of Ren, and the others _talk_ , you know."

Rey growled and slashed at Bazine, a vicious swing devoid of all form and elegance that left a red welt on Bazine's upper arm. "Shut. Up."

Bazine yelped and ducked behind the rock, crouching, ready to spring. She pulled a dagger out of her belt, tensed and leapt at Rey, but her feet slipped on the sand.

Rey rolled out of the way and came up in a fighting stance, saber at the ready. "I don't want to kill you – but I will if I have to," she said.

"I don't particularly _want_ to kill you either, but it _is_ what they're paying me for," Bazine drawled, a bored expression on her face as she pulled out a second, smaller knife and whipped it at Rey, who dodged away just in time.

He broke free, then, all at once, and his lightsaber was in his hand, and he was across the room in an instant, saber at his former master's throat. "Contact her. Tell her that her orders have changed. Now."

Snoke didn't move, didn't flinch, and Kylo felt the saber being pried from his fingers, slowly, inevitably, and flung across the room.

"No. I don't believe I will. Did you really think it would be that easy, Kylo Ren? That I would be so weak?" Kylo felt a wave of Force power, an attempt to toss him back against the wall, but he dug his boots into the stone floor, held out a hand and used the Force to push back, shoving Snoke against the stone back of the throne, pressing, squeezing.

"Did _you_? You used me. You tortured me. Broke me. And I accepted it. All of it. Because I thought I had chosen this freely. Chosen you. Chosen the dark. And I did choose it, I admit that, I did– but…you _led_ me to this. You haunted my dreams and twisted my thoughts as a child until I thought this was the only choice I _had_. And you _lied_ to me, lied and warped everything. Used my grandfather, the fact that my family didn't tell me about him – I remember the dreams, the visions…the man in the mask talking to me, talking about the power of the dark, how _freeing_ it was, how _true_ and _pure_ , how it would fill me with strength, unleash my power, break the chains created by my _family_. It wasn't him." Tears were leaking from his eyes, but he didn't care. "It wasn't ever him. It was you." He pressed harder. He would finish this and then help Rey. He could feel her, waves of heat and adrenaline and power surging through her, but also fear, worry. "You, who preyed on my fear, my loneliness – made me think you cared, and then…then made me feel like I was worthless; like I deserved whatever you did to me, because I was useless and weak but it would make me stronger, make me valuable, make you _proud_ of me. Make you…" his voice cracked, "…accept me, love me…because my own father never would. You said you only wanted to make me better – but you really only wanted to control me, make me your tool. I couldn't see that, not when Ha-Father…told me, not until Rey - she made me see that I'm more than what you said. Even when I was truly despicable, she saw _me_. She loved _me_. And I love her, and…" he closed his fingers, felt the bones beneath Snoke's papery skin, felt the ridges of his windpipe, "You will not harm her. You. Will. Not. Take. Her. From. Me." He clenched his fist, and his former master, his tormenter, his living nightmare, wheezed and struggled, his gray skin turning a mottled purple as Kylo watched in horrified fascination, almost not comprehending what he was doing.

His attention was still half on the holo – he had to _hurry_ , he had to get to Rey, he had to help her - and he saw Bazine grab something from the heel of her boot and toss it. He remembered…thermal detonators. She kept them there. He didn't have time to think in words, but he could use the bond, like they had in training. Only, it would take all his concentration to do what he needed to do, and Snoke was still struggling, gasping, clawing at his hold with his own Force power. Kylo could not do both – he had to decide: Finish Snoke or save Rey.

It wasn't even a choice.

He released his hold on Snoke and focused everything toward Rey, letting himself flow into the bond, be swallowed by it, following that mysterious trail of energy, bright and hot and strong, across space and time until he found her, was with her and in her, taking control of her mind, her body; his actions now hers. A hand raised toward the small round thing moving toward her, freezing it in midair; putting up a shield that blocked the flames and shrapnel. He felt the sand under her feet and the wind on her face and the sharper heat from the explosion, but mostly he felt her, and they were one, and it was bliss. But he was snatched away by a rough, grating intrusion into his mind, pulled from her, and the bond screamed in protest.

Holo-Rey stumbled back as her body was once again her own, staring at the fire licking against the dissolving Force shield, flickering along the sand, leaving it molten and glassy. _Th-thank you. I wouldn't have known to do that. I didn't know what that thing was._

 _My love. I will always protect you._

And then he felt himself being knocked to the ground, and then pain, searing pain, as if his blood had turned to fire and it was burning him from the inside out. "Just as I predicted. Your weakness, your compassion for her, will bring about your demise." Kylo shrieked as the pain took over his brain and drove out his ability to form thoughts.

* * *

Rey felt something wash through her, like liquid fire. Shrieks filled her head and she screamed, too.

 _Kylo? KYLO!_

He didn't respond. Terror coursed through her.

 _Hold on! I'll be there soon. Please…please._

She spun to face Bazine, who had pulled out two more vicious throwing blades. Rey held out a hand and froze her. "I am _not_ a child, and I don't have time to _play_ with you anymore," she said, and she flicked her wrist. Bazine collapsed in a boneless heap in the sand.

* * *

Jessika Pava and Snap Wexley were lying behind a dune, peering through macrobinoculars, as two women, one tall and lanky, wearing an odd geometrically-patterned tunic, the other smaller, wearing a black robe and holding a lightsaber, fought ferociously on the sand.

"I'm telling you, it's Rey," Jess whispered.

Snap shook his head. "Dressed like that? Here? Makes no sense."

"I'm calling it in." She pulled her comm from her belt. "Poe, we're watching the occupant of the ship you had us tail. I…I think it's Rey. And she's in trouble. She's fighting some woman who looks like she's trying to kill her."

"Stand by. I'll have to check with the General for further instructions."

He relayed the information back to base. After a tense few seconds, the response came over Jessika's comm. "Lend assistance as best you can, but be careful. Let her think it was just a recon mission. That might be Rey, but she might not be the Rey you remember."

Jess and Snap traded confused looks, then left their hiding place. They arrived just in time to see Rey – it really _was_ Rey – drop the taller woman with a hand gesture. Jess stepped forward. "Rey…?"

Rey spun around, eyes flashing fire, lightsaber in hand. Aggressive. Frightening.

Snap grabbed Jess's arm, pulled her back.

Rey stopped, blinked a few times and shook her head. "Jess? Snap?" And then her face broke into a grin, and she deactivated the saber and was running toward them, grabbing their hands and shoulders, pulling them both into a sloppy hug. "Oh, it is you! I've missed you both!"

"What are you doing here?" Jess asked.

"It's…it's a long story and I don't have time to explain right now but, oh, I missed you! I missed you _so_ _much_! But…I gotta go…I have to get back and help…someone. I have to hurry. But I gotta hack into the ship's computer and…"

Snap looked at Jess. They could see the desperation in Rey's eyes, hear it in her voice. They had no idea what it was about, but she was their friend. Jess gave a quick nod.

"If you need a ride, take one of the X-Wings. They're faster than a shuttle, anyway," Snap said.

She shook her head. "I would but I…I don't know where I'm going. I have to plot a reverse course and…"

Snap patted her shoulder. "Rey, sweetie, if you're going back to the icy hell you just left, my R2 unit can get you there. That's where we just came from. We followed you here."

"Where you just came from? You followed…how?"

"I'm not sure exactly…it's all very top secret, need to know, but we were on a…a recon flight, and we followed your ship…of course, we didn't know it was you…"

She looked from Snap to Jess, hugged them again. "I promise I'll explain one day. But right now…"

Snap tossed her his helmet. "Go. Ship's right behind that tall dune. Don't bend any metal." He winked at her, and she turned and ran across the sand.

"Thank you!" She yelled.

"Hey," Snap shouted, "What about her?" He pointed at Bazine.

"Get some cuffs on her before she comes to, then turn her in to the authorities. She's probably wanted in a dozen systems," Rey shouted over her shoulder.

* * *

Rey's feet pounded over the sand. She reached out to Kylo…but all she felt was an odd sort of static, and burning, searing pain that thrummed through her veins and throbbed at the back of her head. Her heart pounded out the words _hurry, hurry, hurry,_ and she ran faster, nearly crying with relief at the sight of the X-Wing. It would cut her travel time by at least twenty percent.

 _I'm coming_. _Hold on. Just hold on. I love you._ She hoped he heard her, felt her, because the bond was writhing and thrashing as pain shot across it.

 _Rey. I love you. Always. Forever. In this life. And the next._

 _Hold on._

She remembered her first flight with Han Solo, when he had taken off at lightspeed. "Artoo, ready to try something new?" She asked the green and white R2 unit. It beeped in the affirmative.

"Good." Han Solo was still saving his son – at least she hoped so. She tapped a few buttons to program her flight plan and jammed in the hyperdrive throttle.

* * *

"Admiral. It is time to move into position."

Admiral Yoryg nodded. It was a strange order, one he had, secretly, hoped would be rescinded – or at least explained. Not that he would dare ask for an explanation, but he could hope. They were to execute a flanking maneuver – in itself not out of the ordinary – but the target was. It was one of their own ships, in fact their finest ship, the flagship of the fleet. The Resurgent-class Star Destroyer _Finalizer_.

However, the order was to move into position to surround the ship at precisely 1400 hours. That was now. The order stood unless the Supreme Leader himself contacted them to change it. They were not to trouble him otherwise.

Yoryg, who had been selected to spearhead the mission, keyed his comm, transmitting to the other five Imperial-class Star Destroyers in the system. "All ships, move into position. Mission is a go. Repeat, mission is a go. Flanking formation, but remain out of their visual and sensor range until further notice. Keep sensor jammers engaged."

* * *

He heard her voice. Faint and distant and distorted, but it was her. _I'm coming…hold on._

It was the only reason he did hold on, continue fighting against this fresh level of torment. Some twisted version of crucitorn, or torture by chagrin, or Force suppression, an academic part of his brain supplied, as if it mattered, because whatever it was, it was ripping his mind apart. But he held on to that thread, that glowing ember that was Rey. Time ceased to exist – or he ceased to experience it. It stretched and flew all at once, but nothing moved for him. He was trapped in some timeless agony as grasping fingers pried at the bond, poking, prodding, trying to unravel it. He held on. He would hold on forever. Maybe he had been. Maybe he had been floating in this agony forever, because it was all he could remember, that and her voice saying _hold on_ , so he held on to the link that connected him to the only thing that mattered – Rey. Rey told him to hold on, so he did.

Then everything happened really fast.

The pain stopped. Suddenly. He rubbed his head, amazed that the agony was so instantly and completely gone.

At first he thought he was dead. And there was Rey, so he must have managed to _hold on_ …but why was she brandishing a length of pipe like a weapon, stalking across the room with a predatory look on her face? Why were her eyes snapping fire? Why were they still in the stone chamber?

He pulled himself from the floor. "R-rey?"

She dropped the pipe and ran to him, wrapped herself around him, her fingers touching his face, her eyes darting to his, but never dropping her vigilance. She smelled like sunlight and sweat and starship fuel, and melted against his body, and he knew, then, that he wasn't dead, after all. "Are you real?" He asked, touching her face, running his fingers across her cheek, feeling warm tears.

"Yes, of course I'm real. Are you…are you alright?

"I think, just…a little disoriented." He felt sluggish, like he was deep underwater, but it was getting better by the second. Touching her seemed to help.

"Can you…I need your help. I can't finish this alone. I'm not strong enough," she said.

He looked around and saw Snoke, crumpled over and clutching the side of his head, thick black blood oozing between his long fingers, but trying to stand.

Kylo's lips brushed against Rey's; everywhere their skin touched little sparks snapped and sizzled and it brought him back, filled him with strength, his thoughts picking up speed as he processed everything.

Then he looked into her eyes, letting the bond flow between them, reaching into her, letting her reach deep into him until they were connected, one. _My love. Yes._

"What a disgusting display," Snoke rasped, lifting a hand. They could feel the power gathering in his fingertips, the dark energy swirling and hissing, sending cold tendrils of fear and power coiling around their ankles, grasping, clawing, creeping up their legs, rooting them to the floor.

Rey shuddered.

 _I'm afraid,_ she thought.

 _Don't be. Together we are strong, invincible. NOW!_

They lifted their hands, minds still connected. Lightning crackled from their fingertips, flashing blue and purple and green. It went on for what felt like eternity; he didn't know why he had thought it would be instant, but it wasn't. It was a sustained effort, and Snoke struggled against it, tried to push it back. Kylo felt sweat drip down the side of his face, his hair. His hands were shaking, and he could see that hers were too, and she swayed against him, leaning into his shoulder. And then finally, abruptly, it was over. Where there had been a Force signature of pure darkness, pulling against their power like a black hole, there was nothing.

The voice in his head, the creature from his nightmares, the answer to his pleading, the architect of his fall, crumbled like dry dirt, collapsing into a heap on the floor, wafts of dark energy drifting up. Ice formed on the ground where he fell, crackling outward like frozen fire.

They stepped back, gasping, panting, spent. Kylo held out his arms and she fell into them, letting him encircle her with his love, letting hers surround him as they sank to the stone floor and leaned against each other.

"He's gone," he whispered.

She looked up, blinking. "Do you regret it?"

He pulled her tight against his chest. "No. I think it might be the first thing I don't regret since…you."

She clenched his robes in her fists. "Good." She nodded against his chest. "Good." She

"You came back."

"Mm-hmm." She reached up, small hands caressing his face, wiping away blood and tears and sweat and then just touching him, letting her fingers rest on his cheek.

"To save me."

"Of course. You're _mine_. I wasn't going to let him have you."

He looked again at the length of pipe on the floor, and he laughed, a laugh that was a little too high-pitched. "You whacked him over the head with a pipe," he said, his thoughts still a bit dazed and muddy.

She nodded. "Know what you get when you remove that piece from the exhaust system of a Lambda class shuttle?" She asked.

He shook his head.

"A ship full of odorless, colorless gas that puts people into a deep sleep. And a handy, silent weapon – for when you need to sneak up on someone and a lightsaber would make too much noise. I stuffed it in my robe when I removed it and…oh, it doesn't matter. I'm here. You're here."

He kissed her temple. "My brilliant, fearless love," he whispered. "You took on one of the most powerful dark Force users in the universe with a piece of scrap metal. For me."

"For you. And I'd do it again, a thousand times. I love you."

He pulled her against his chest. "And I love you."

* * *

Finally! He's dead! And I'm exhausted. Writing action is hard, and damn, that guy was hard to kill. But our space bunnies don't get to celebrate quite yet. They still have the First Order fleet to contend with, and the dark side itself, which might not want to let them go, and then there are those Knights of Ren…Rey did let them live, after all. And the Resistance is still out there, waiting to see what happens and if they can help.

Thank you for reading; we're almost to the end. A few more chapters to deal with what happens with the ships, and what Kylo and Rey will do now that they're in charge. I know the end-end, but not quite how I'm going to get there yet. This chapter was nerve-wracking to write, and I hope it was satisfying. Reviews are so thoroughly appreciated – every time I see one pop up it makes me smile and gives me such an emotional boost.


	45. Coup

**Coup**

* * *

"You did _what_?" Poe almost shouted into his headset.

"Hey, chill, man. I just let her borrow it…"

If he hadn't been wearing a helmet, Poe would have dropped his face into his palm. "You _just let her borrow_ an 18-million-credit piece of Resistance military equipment?"

"She was in a bad way. She really needed it."

"Oh, well, then, that's fine. Just fine. If she _really needed it_."

Snap Wexley was beginning to be glad he wasn't in the same system as Poe Dameron right then. "Well, she did."

"Did it ever occur to you that she might be working for the enemy? That she might have turned to the dark side?" Good thing his comm was heavily encrypted, Poe thought, because this was getting into 'classified' territory fast.

"Huh? No, that's ridiculous."

"Oh? And you're basing that observation on what? Your many years of Force studies?" This mission was getting to Poe, and he was, as usual, using sarcasm to deal with the tension.

"No but she…she hugged us."

"Say again?"

"I'm basing it on the fact that as soon as she recognized us, she broke into a huge grin and ran over and hugged our necks. Now, I admit I'm no expert on dark Force users, but I'm pretty sure they don't do a helluva a lot of hugging."

Poe felt himself relax a little. "Yeah, okay. I guess that's a good sign. But I'm afraid the General is still gonna rip us both a new one when she hears about this."

Snap cleared his throat. "Yeah, didn't think about that. Well, anyway, Jess is already inbound to you, and I'll be there as soon as I can scrounge up a ride at what passes for a spaceport in this sandbox. Black 4 out."

Poe sighed. "Copy. Black Leader out."

* * *

They had been in the command center all day. Leia walked over to the table full of food. She still had no appetite, but she needed energy. She poured herself a cup of caf, stirred in her usual spoonful of sweet nectar and then added a splash of cream. She blew on it for a minute, then took a sip – and almost dropped the cup. It was delicious. The caf was thick and rich, almost velvety on her tongue, and so full of _life_ ; she could almost feel the energy of the beans popping in her mouth. The sweetener blended with the bitter caf and danced on her tongue, like little sparkles of happiness.

She stared at the creamy beige liquid. Why was it so _good_? Certainly Threepio hadn't ordered some sort of special, expensive caffa for the command center. She looked up, and noticed other things. Threepio gleamed a brighter gold than she remembered; Finn's skin glowed the most radiant brown; Luke's eyes blazed like a summer sky. And a low-grade headache that she hadn't realized she had had for…decades?...seemed to be gone.

She felt dizzy – but a good kind of dizzy, like having a glass of wine after a long day; like when Han had picked her up in his arms, spun her around and kissed her until she couldn't see straight. The Force was _singing_ , and suddenly, she knew why. The room started to spin, and she grabbed the edge of the round conference table to steady herself.

Major Ematt rushed over, eyes full of concern. "General? Leia? Is something wrong?"

She looked at him, blinked and then _beamed_. "No, Caluan. Something is very, _very_ right." And she gave him a quick hug and a peck on the cheek.

He tilted his head, still full of concern, but nodded and gave a crooked smile. "Okay, then. Whatever it is, you look like you did when I first met you." He turned and motioned to Luke, who met Leia's eyes with a smile of his own. He knew too.

Leia walked over to the food table, meeting her brother there, picked up two plates and handed him one. "I think this calls for cake. How about you?"

He cut a huge hunk of glaze cake and slid it onto her plate, then another for himself. "It's not over yet, I don't think," he said, worry lines still etching his face. "But… _he's_ gone. That I know."

"Gone." She smiled and stuffed a huge bite of cake into her mouth. She had never tasted anything so sweet.

* * *

Rey was tired down to her very bones. It was over. Done. They had succeeded. She bit her lip. _Now what?_

They sat on the floor, clinging to one another, for she didn't know how long. His arms were wrapped tightly around her, her head tucked under his chin, and he occasionally brushed a soft kiss against her hair, as if to remind himself that she was really there.

She nestled her cheek against his chest, glad just to feel him breathing against her. She wound her arms around his back and clutched at his robe with her fingers. She didn't want to move, didn't want to let him go, but she realized her hand was warm and wet, and she pulled it away, gasping a little when she saw blood there; bright red and fresh. She looked at him, searching his face. His eyes were haunted, dark circles underneath, his face pale, and several places on his robes were darker, shiny. "You're still bleeding," she whispered, hands trailing along his body, touching the injured places. He felt gentle power surging from her fingertips.

"Don't. You're exhausted. I'll be fine. I've recovered from far worse physical wounds."

"But I want to."

"Later," he breathed. "I'll be alright. You saved me."

"And you saved me," she whispered, "from that detonator. I didn't realize that's what it was and…" she pulled back, the remembered terror when she had felt him ripped away from her coming back, igniting a forgotten fury. She grabbed both his shoulders and glared into his eyes and shook him. "What were you thinking? You left yourself totally vulnerable! You were…I could tell you had almost…and you let him go! You let him go and left yourself _helpless_ to protect me. You had to know he would…would…what were you thinking?"

"That I wouldn't survive without you; perhaps I would die; perhaps I would go mad, but I would not survive," he said.

Hot tears filled her eyes. "But I would have lost you," she said, her voice a tiny whimper.

He reached up with his thumb, wiped the tears that had spilled down her cheek. "And I would have been sorry to hurt you like that, but I would do the same thing again. If the choice is between you and me, I'll always choose you."

"But, the bond - what makes you think I'd survive without you?"

He sighed. "It's what you do. It's what your whole life taught you to do."

She shook her head violently. "No. I survived because I thought someone was coming _back_."

"I would have found my way back to you."

"Maybe. Maybe not. I felt what the _Supreme Leader_ was trying to do." She reached up, hands roaming over his face. "Not just hurt you, not just torture you…he was trying to sever the bond, maybe even your connection to the Force. I could feel it, like it was being ripped and torn away."

"I know. I knew what letting go would mean, but I had to save you. I had to. I didn't have time to do anything but react. Rey, please understand. I have never loved anyone but you, and I love you completely. I _live_ for you. I will kill for you. And I will die for you. That is how I love. I cannot do otherwise. Please accept that." _Accept me._

She stared into his eyes, preparing to argue, but her mind was suddenly flooded with a devotion so intense it hurt as he let his feelings flow through the bond. It was the most beautiful feeling she had ever felt, to be loved like that, so thoroughly. He loved her with a depth she, child of loneliness and abandonment, could barely comprehend. She smiled through her tears. "I do. I do." She wiped her eyes. "He knew too. He wouldn't have been satisfied with just killing you. I think…I think he'd rather have broken the bond and made you live."

He nodded. "I felt him, tearing at it, clawing at it, trying to take you away. But I held on. And then you were here."

"I got here as fast as I could." She remembered bringing the X-Wing in at lightspeed to avoid having her 'enemy' ship detected by the _Finalizer_ or whatever planetary defenses there might have been (another trick she could thank Han Solo for, Chewbacca and later Finn having both related the story of her rescue to her), remembered pulling up just in time, the blue lines of hyperspace instantly replaced by the planet, black and white and enormous, filling the viewport. Remembered hauling back so hard on the stick she had it jammed against her chest as plasma flickered over the hull of the ship and the ground came up to meet her far too quickly. Remembered the screech of metal as she touched down too hard and the lifters collapsed. "I was so frightened. That I'd be too late. I thought I _was_ too late. I did my best to…to conceal myself, hide my Force presence, and I climbed up the wall and sneaked in through a window and…it was horrible. You were lying there, all limp and…and bleeding. From your nose and your ear and I don't know where else. There was so much blood, a pool of it and…your eyes. They were wide open but they were…blank. And he was standing over you and I could see the power, feel it…it made my hair stand on end. And every few seconds it sort of…jerked…and you'd…you'd go rigid and scream and howl, and then go limp again. I didn't know what to do. I didn't. I knew I couldn't fight him alone, not with the Force or a lightsaber. He'd kill me before I could even start. And then…then I remembered the pipe and I thought…he wouldn't expect that. He'd expect Force attacks. But I survived for years without it - or without knowing about it anyway and..." her expression hardened, anger and pride in her flinty gaze, "I'm not above fighting dirty. Especially not...well, he wasn't exactly fighting fair. I knew it wouldn't hold him for long but...I had to make it stop. _I had to make it stop._ " That was how she loved. By _doing things._

"You did, my love. You did." He ran his fingertips along her cheekbone, her jaw, her chin. Her lips. He leaned down until his lips brushed against hers. She dropped her head back, let her eyes fall closed as he kissed her, delicately, like she was made of glass. It wasn't about desire; it was something beyond that. It only lasted a few seconds, but it calmed the raging emotions inside her. She leaned into him, savoring his warmth.

Then the doors swung open, and they both leapt to their feet. Rey unclipped her lightsaber from her belt; Kylo held out a hand, calling his from where it still lay across the room. They dropped into a fighting stance, backs angled together, Kylo instinctively placing his body just in front of hers, facing the doors as several dark shapes pushed their way through in a rush.

The chamber was dim and it took a few seconds to recognize the six Knights of Ren. Oh, crap. She had completely forgotten about them. Would the fighting never end? She just wanted a hot bath and the energy to heal his wounds and then she wanted to crawl under a blanket with him and tuck her face against his chest and inhale the scent of him forever. But that wasn't going to happen yet. Her face hardened, and she called on the Force to give her the strength and energy she needed to face the fight again.

The tallest knight – Dala Ren, she remembered - stopped, held up a hand, halting the others behind him. They stood there, weapons raised, heads moving, tilting, taking in the scene in front of them: Kylo and Rey, battered but fierce, lightsabers purring and hissing. The Supreme Leader nothing more than a crumpled heap on the stone floor. The red and blue glow of the lightsabers flickering against the icy stones in the chamber. Kylo stepped forward, stood taller, menace radiating off him, daring any of them to challenge him, to try to touch Rey, making it clear that he would cut them down where they stood if they threatened her.

No one moved; no one breathed. Time seemed to stop, the Force itself seemed to hold its breath.

Dala Ren made a hand gesture, and all the knights deactivated and lowered their weapons. Then he dropped to one knee and bowed his head.

"The Supreme Leader is dead. All hail the new Supreme Leaders," he said.

The rest of the knights dropped to their knees, bowed their heads as well. "The Supreme Leader is dead. All hail the new Supreme Leaders," they repeated.

Rey's eyes widened. "Wh-why are they doing that?"

She heard Kylo exhale. "Because that is what protocol demands."

Her eyes widened and her lips parted slightly. "You mean because…that means you're…"

He shrugged a shoulder. "Not me. _Us_." He said this loudly, making it clear to the knights that she was his equal – and their superior. Rey could feel their deference. To her. Something swirled around them, dark and heavy, but muted. Respect. Resentment. Submission. Yes, especially that last one. She could almost taste it, and it was thick and sweet, like nectar.

"And yes. The rules of succession are exceptionally simple in our organization. It was…part of my original plan, of course. Before our goals were - revised. But that does not change the way things work."

"But I…I don't want to be Supreme Leader." Still, there was something gratifying about standing over these knights, all strong Force users themselves, trained warriors, willingly submitting themselves to _her_. Something satisfying about knowing they would serve her, would do her bidding, would do _anything_ she asked.

The darkness had been waiting in the chamber, waiting for an opportunity, a crack it could squeeze through. It had found it.

She lifted her chin as this new feeling washed over her. This was what it felt like to be powerful. It felt good.

"If you don't like the title, we can choose a different one. I always thought 'Supreme Leader' was a bit ostentatious and contrived. I prefer something more traditional."

He felt it too, this feeling of dominance, of supremacy, and he liked it, she could sense it. She could feel it radiating from him, and apprehension and excitement surged through her. "You're going to accept this…leadership?"

"It's either accept it or die. There is no abdication."

She bit her lip. Maybe this was good? After all, it would be easier to end the war as leaders of one of the sides. That was what she wanted, wasn't it? To end the war? She was having trouble remembering. _Yes_ , something whispered, _yes, accept it. It is your destiny. To rule._

She wondered if he heard it too. She looked up and knew that he had. And in that moment, she knew it was true. Even battered and bloody, there was something regal about him, regal and beautiful. Something in the way he stood, the way he moved, the way he held himself. He was meant for this – to rule. His eyes were dark and deep as he looked at her. Murky power swirled around them, almost hypnotic, drawing them closer together. He reached out, ran a fingertip along her cheek. It sent shivers down her spine, through the center of her body, all the way to her toes. "We were meant for this," he hissed, voice raw and rough. "People were meant to bow to us. You know it. You feel it."

"Yes," she whispered, leaning closer, dark tendrils licking at her feet, creeping up her legs and curling into her belly, but she didn't recognize it for what it was – the dark side, deprived now of its focal point, was determined not to lose them, too. It held on, grasping and desperate, tempting them. Luring them.

She looked at the knights, kneeling before them, heads bowed in veneration, their Force signatures small and weak compared to _his_. To _hers_. Of course they were meant for this, meant to have lesser beings bow to them. It felt so right, so good, she wondered why she had ever argued against it. She stepped even closer, pressing against him, wanting to feel his power pressed against hers, wanting to _show_ the knights what they were, together.

The dark side clung to him to, perhaps even tighter than it did to her. He had, after all, _belonged_ to the dark. It would not let him go willingly. His eyes were black as he bent his head toward hers. "The things we could do together. The power. The strength. My love. My equal. My empress."

He cupped her chin with his large palm and pulled her to her toes and kissed her, his mouth hot and demanding, his tongue plunging between her lips, his other hand at the small of her back, yanking her body against his. Darkness swirled in her mind, and she found its match in his, only deeper – bottomless and unfathomable. She whimpered and held on to his robes as the room swam around her, her body filling with dusky desire. She wanted him, wanted him to drag her to the stone floor and fuck her right there. The knights could watch if he liked; she had no shame. She was his and he was hers and they could do whatever they wanted.

He growled into her mouth as he caught the thought, considering and then rejecting it. _No. Then I would have to kill them all, for having seen you_. _You are mine, mine alone._

He turned to the knights. "Leave us. We have much to discuss. Morda Ren, Pano Ren, remove the former Supreme Leader's remains to the outer chamber."

Two of the knights stood, bowed and moved to do as ordered.

Once they were gone, he grabbed her again, pulled her to him roughly. "Mine," he murmured, lips nipping along her neck, her shoulder. "I can see it – the future, what we could be. Do you want to see?"

"Yes," she gasped, hands clinging to him.

 _They were in the same chamber, but it was cleaner – the blood on the floor was gone, as was all evidence of the fight._

 _'_ _Why here? I don't like this chamber.'_

 _'_ _We can change it.'_

 _The walls were suddenly covered with rich tapestries, the floor with plush rugs that her feet sank into, the room lighted by dozens of flickering sconces. A fire roared in the fireplace at the other end of the room, pushing the cold away. It was sumptuous, opulent, exquisite._

 _Kylo sat on the stone throne, resplendent in black leather trousers and a soft black shirt, a black cape clasped at his throat with silver fasteners. His hair gleamed in the moonlight – it was night, she noticed – his pale skin shone against the high collar of his shirt, the scar only adding to his beauty, proving that he was human. She wondered what he had seen before she joined him in the vision._

 _'_ _Us, together, in battle, leading armies, bringing order to every system, laying waste to any who dare oppose us, watching them burn until the galaxy lays at our feet. And then endless nights together as we rule.'_

 _Rey walked toward him, flowing skirts swishing around her ankles. She looked down at her dress – it was the same shimmersilk as the dress he had bought her, but black, shot through with wine and silver threads that gleamed in the moonlight as she moved, clinging to her form, moving sinuously as she walked. She stared at herself, surprised at how fetching she looked, how sensuous. The knights were there, lined against one wall, and they bowed low as she passed. She stopped in front of the smallest. Ahsha Ren._

 _'_ _If I told you to, would you go back to Jakku and kill Unkar Plutt, the junk lord who rules that junk planet? Who once made me grovel and beg for every scrap of food I ate? Who looked at me like he had thought my body the night before while he touched himself? Would you slit his vile throat?'_

 _'_ _Without hesitation, Supreme Leader. And with pleasure.'_

 _She sucked in a breath and turned to Dala Ren._

 _'_ _Would you find the scavengers who stole the freighter I restored when I was seventeen and bring them before me for punishment?'_

 _'_ _I'd pursue them to the ends of the galaxy, my lady, and deposit them at your feet.'_

 _Along the other wall stood the senior officers of the First Order. She walked across, stood in front of General Hux. 'Would you conquer planets for me? Destroy planets for me?'_

 _'_ _As many as you asked for.'_

 _She nodded, her lips curving up into a vicious smile as she faced Kylo. 'And what would you do for me, my love?'_

 _'_ _The Finalizer. It is yours, as I promised.'_

 _'_ _What else?'_

 _'_ _Anything. Everything. Burn entire worlds, annihilate armies…personally make anyone who has ever hurt you suffer.'_

 _He held out a hand and she joined him on the throne, settling herself on his lap…_

 _'_ _Why don't I get my own throne?'_

 _He dismissed the knights and officers, and they seemed to melt away. 'Because then I couldn't do this whenever I wanted.' And she felt his fingers slide up her thigh, graze against her silky underclothes and push them aside to stroke between her folds, plunge inside her, then thrust against her clit, making her arch off his lap against his fingers, making her whimper and whine._

 _'_ _I want more than that, you know.'_

 _'_ _Oh, I know exactly what you want, my love.' And he spun her around so that she was sitting on the throne and he was kneeling in front of her, his hands sliding up her thighs, pulling her underclothes down, spreading her legs wide as he knelt in front of her. 'You were meant to be worshipped,' he murmured, leaning in, biting the sensitive skin of her inner thigh until he reached the apex of her legs and then licking, sucking, tasting, his tongue flicking against the throbbing nub at the top of her folds, pulling it between his teeth, delving his tongue in deeper, finding a place that sent her spiraling out of control, holding her down with his large arm, the tension building until she felt herself explode, her screams echoing off the stone walls._

 _'_ _I still want more', she said, her voice breathy and low._

 _His lip curled up in a snarl and he stood up, unzipping his fly and pulling out his cock, pumping it in his fist. 'Greedy girl. You want this?'_

 _'_ _Yes. Yes, please.'_

 _'_ _On your knees.'_

 _She obeyed, the power of his words compelling her to do as he said._

 _'_ _Open your mouth.'_

 _She did, and he slid his cock in, one hand twisted in her hair, moving her head to the rhythm he liked, bumping against the back of her throat as she struggled to keep up and not gag. Finally she jerked her head away and stared up at him viciously, eyes blazing._

 _'_ _More', she demanded._

 _'_ _Then bend over.'_

 _She did, leaning over the stone chair. He pushed her legs apart with his knee, gripped her hips and slammed into her, knocking the air out of her lungs, pounding into her relentlessly, his fingers working her clit ferociously as she gasped and shuddered. He came, hot liquid spurting inside her, so much, as she clenched around him, her back arching and her head slamming back against his shoulder, spasms racking her body for what seemed like hours as they floated in that dark power that filled the chamber, a voice whispering, 'there is only passion, and power.'_

 _Passion, yes. They had that, but there was something else, something more. She struggled to remember what, but her thoughts were hazy, floating away from her like vapor, and she couldn't quite catch them._

 _'_ _Don't you see? You are meant to rule, together.'_

She wasn't sure what that voice was – it wasn't her. It wasn't him.

The vision faded.

Then he was kissing her again, not in the vision but in reality, his lips insistent against hers, hot and demanding and full of darkness, dragging her down, down into an abyss of lust that she was glad to sink into. One of his hands clasped her throat, squeezing just enough, _just enough_ that it sent a thrill down her spine as he sucked hot kisses down the side of her neck, biting down at the curve of her shoulder. "Rey. My Rey. Be my queen. Be my empress. Be my wife."

He moved to her mouth again, sending dark tendrils of desire through her until all she could do was cling to his hair and _feel_. He pulled away, and she whimpered.

"Say yes. Say you'll be mine. Marry me," he said – a command, a plea. And then his mouth was on her again, tracing a hot path down her throat, sucking at the delicate skin so hard she knew it would leave bruises.

What…what had he said? She felt sluggish, her thoughts slow and blurred, shadowed whispers about passion and power and strength still floating through her mind, but…she opened her eyes, and the darkness receded from her vision. "Did you just _propose_?"

"Yes. I want you by my side forever, my love."

Something more, more than passion. Maybe he could tell her what it was. "Why?"

"What?" he panted, kissing his way down her arm.

"Why do you want to marry me?"

He pressed a kiss against her palm, then looked up at her, eyes wide, pupils blown, blinking slowly as if trying to recall something of great importance. Then his eyes cleared, and the shadows around them receded. "Because I love you."

And she remembered. There wasn't _only_ passion. Not for them. They had that, they would always have that - but they had so much more. Warmth flooded her, and light, bright and beaming, pushed out the darkness. He loved her. And… "I love you too! Oh, yes, yes!" she said, pulling his mouth to hers again, smiling and laughing between kisses.

He pulled away, blinked a few times, and smiled back. "Yes? You mean it? You want to marry me?"

"Oh, yes, I do. I do want to marry you. I want to climb into bed with you every night and wake up beside you every morning. I want you to make me those muffins I like for breakfast. I want to lie in the bed and braid your hair. I want to spend _weeks_ naked, and later, I want you to make me pregnant so many times, and we'll have a family, a _real_ family, that we'll love so, so much."

"Truly?" He looked young and vulnerable, his eyes a soft brown, veiled by impossibly long lashes.

She nodded, grinning.

He broke into a wide, almost goofy smile, and blushed, and peppered her face and hands with kisses as sweet as nectar. The last of the darkness slithered away, defeated, and they were left, standing in the cold stone chamber, leaning against each other, smiling. At peace.

"What happened?" She asked.

"The dark side…it's strong here, stronger now than ever, and it wants us. Badly. Especially now. And it obscures everything, plays mind tricks."

"We should leave," she said, and he nodded.

"We're still the Supreme Leaders, you know," he said finally. "Unless you want to run away and find that blue and green planet and live in a hut naked. Because I'll do that, if it's what you want."

She grinned as he took her hand. "No. I think…I think we're not done yet."

The corner of his mouth lifted, and he nodded. "We have a responsibility. To end this. And then," he leaned down, his lips brushing against her ear as he whispered, "I'm going to keep you in bed for _months_."

"Promise?"

"Yes. Now let's leave this wretched place," he said, lip curling in disgust. And they swept out of the chamber, through the entrance hall, past the knights, who he bid follow them, back to the command shuttle, and back to the _Finalizer_. Rey was glad to be back on the Star Destroyer. Odd as it seemed, it felt normal; it felt like home.

* * *

Luke and Leia watched the command shuttle leave the planet as they finished their cake. She had a bit of sugar high, in addition to the wonderful feeling brought on by Snoke's absence from the galaxy. "I haven't felt like this since Endor," she said, and for a second, her smile was bittersweet, remembering. Then, there had been fireworks and parties that lasted for days, and every night she and Han had scurried off to one of the Ewok tree houses, barely waiting to get inside to tear off their clothes. She remembered how he had made her body tremble, over and over again. And then, the last night there, they had gotten married. There had been cake then, too, a wedding cake made with ingredients brought in from one of the ships.

Luke smiled. "Everything seemed so hopeful then. So bright. So full of possibilities."

"I feel hopeful again," she said, dimples dancing.

"Uh, guys, you might want to take a look at the holoscreen," Finn said.

All eyes turned to look, and saw two, four, six Star Destroyers coming around the planet, moving into position to surround the Finalizer.

"I've got a bad feeling about this," Luke said, glancing at his sister. "Why are you smiling?"

She turned to him, eyes shining. "Because for years, I was helpless. I knew something was wrong but I couldn't find it, couldn't fight it. I couldn't help Ben, and I lost him to Snoke. But Snoke is gone now. And this?" She gestured at the holoscreen, at the Start Destroyers flanking the _Finalizer_ , at Black Squadron, hiding in the rings of the gas giant, poised and waiting for the order to engage. " _This_ is what I _do_."

* * *

Am I putting off writing the big space battle? A little bit. But I promise, next chapter Hux will finally see some action (the military kind) and the Resistance will get to do something other than watch and wait. But I didn't think you'd mind a little slice of lemon, even if it was just a vision…it's been a while. Plus fluff!

Thanks to JuliaAurelia for mentioning in her comment that Leia and Luke would probably feel Snoke's death in the Force. I agreed and decided to include that. But I thought it wouldn't be a 'disturbance in the Force' feeling exactly – more a repair to the Force? The opposite of a disturbance, that Leia would especially feel in a personal way. But I didn't think they would necessarily be aware of Rey and Kylo's ongoing struggle with the dark – after all, Leia sensed something was wrong with Ben for years, but not specifically enough to do anything about it, so I let them stay happy and hopeful, enjoying the fact that Snoke is gone while our space bunnies struggle with the dark side trying to hang on to them.

Thank you so very, very much for continuing to read. This story has grown into something so much bigger than I planned, and I've had so much fun writing it, and knowing you're out there, somewhere, reading it is just the coolest thing ever. So thank you! And of course, reviews are appreciated more than you know!


	46. Engagement

**Engagement**

* * *

"General," Chief Petty Officer Unamo said. "We have incoming." She jerked her chin toward her screen.

Hux strode across the bridge to lean over her console and stared at the enhanced visual display. Indeed, there were six incoming ships, barely visible to the naked eye. Too large to be anything but Star Destroyers. Clearly, they had been using sensor jammers to avoid detection. He swore silently.

The Destroyers must have moved seconds after the command shuttle left the planet's surface, as if that was their cue, and swept around the planet to surround the _Finalizer_. Hidden from him, until now. Hux ground his teeth. "The command shuttle?"

Unamo cleared her throat. "It just docked sir."

"Good. Have a trooper request their presence on the bridge. Have Captain Phasma report to me immediately. And call in all off-duty officers." He ticked off each directive on his fingers.

"Yes sir," Unamo said, fingers already moving along her console to carry out the orders.

Hux gave a quick nod and strode along the walkway.

Phasma had warned him, but he had not fully accepted the truth until he saw the ships with his own eyes. He recognized each of the ships as they filled the viewports and blocked out the stars; knew their commanders, from the refurbished Imperial ship, the _Tormentor_ , headed by newly-promoted Captain Prositt, to the brand-new _Intimidator_ that was his old classmate Admiral Yoryg's command.

A full wing of TIE fighters was fueled and ready, the pilots in the cockpits, engines running idle. They could be launched in two minutes. But he wasn't ready to scramble them just yet; perhaps he could talk some sense into his comrades – or at least buy himself enough time to find out what had transpired on the planet below.

He narrowed his eyes, grabbed the comm and keyed in the ship-to-ship frequency. His voice was deadly calm as he spoke. "Colleagues. To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"General Hux. By command of the Supreme Leader, you're to lower your shields, open your bay doors and allow a boarding party to dock."

Hux sneered. Of course it would be that prick Admiral Yoryg. Conniving little upstart; Hux knew he had ended up at the helm of the _Intimidator_ only after the officer originally chosen as its commander went suspiciously missing. "Hello, _Yoryg_. Bucking for a promotion to Fleet Admiral?"

"Just following orders, _General_. And my orders are to board your ship and temporarily take command."

"For what reason?"

"I am not at liberty to say."

Hux clenched his fists. The audacity of that little shit. "Are you at liberty to go fuck yourself?"

"Lower your shields and open your docking bay doors or we will be forced to open fire."

"Are you _serious_? Do you have any concept of what a spectacularly bad idea that is?" Hux hissed.

The response was a volley from the _Intimidator's_ ion cannons. Hux ground his teeth, his face reddening with rage. How dare they? How _dare_ they fire on his ship? They should defer to him; as commander of _Starkiller_ , he had been the senior tactical officer and unified combat commander – the highest ranking officer in the First Order; since no change in status had been announced, he still considered himself such. And his ship, the _Finalizer_ , was the finest ship in the fleet; the only Resurgent-class Star Destroyer; the _flagship_ ; the posting of the Supreme Leader's own apprentice; the ship that contained a vast audience chamber for the Supreme Leader himself. _His_ ship.

He slammed the palm of his hand against a large button on his console. Claxons started blaring; red strobes flashed; an automated voice announced 'battle stations' on an endless loop.

When Hux spoke into the comm, his voice was placid and icy, like a frozen lake. "Admiral Yoryg. I will give you that one for free. But if you dare fire on this ship again, you have my personal promise that you, your crew and your entire vessel will _burn_."

The bridge hummed with activity as officers and technicians went through a well-practiced series of steps. But underneath, there was a tension, a half-held breath as they waited to see what would happen.

Another blast rocked the ship, this time from the left, opposite the _Intimidator's_ position. Ah, so it was a coordinated attack.

Hux could feel his left eye start to twitch, the only outward sign of the cold rage running through his veins as he turned to see the _Tormentor_. Prositt, that smug little brat, thought she could fire on the _Finalizer_ and get away with it? Her first year at the academy had been his final one; she had been a groveling little suck-up to Delton Yoryg then, and he doubted anything had changed

Another blast hit them from the right.

The shields held. They would hold for hours…but not forever. It was time to fight back.

"Scramble the TIE fighters and have the second wing on alert. Fire the turbolasers in a standard pattern. And arm the ventral cannons! _This affront will not stand_." Hux shouted. Then, more quietly, into the comm, "Cease fire _immediately_. We will defend ourselves, and you know that we are more heavily armed than the rest of you; you've been begging for kyber-crystal-based weapons for months, but I know you never got them. I know this is the only ship in the fleet with that technology. Our weapons can overload your shields easily. And I will not hesitate to use them."

The only reply was a barrage of turbolaser fire flashing against the shields.

Hux spun on his heel and almost slammed into Captain Phasma as she marched onto the bridg"Phasma. Are the troopers in position?"

"Yes, sir. The entire legion. Battle station positions. Anyone who tries to board this ship will regret it."

"Good. Carry on, then."

Hux barely looked up when the bridge doors whooshed open and Kylo Ren and the apprentice walked through. He had been waiting for them, fully aware that this attack was somehow connected to whatever had just happened on the planet below. He had known when their shuttle docked. He was aware of precisely how long it would take them to walk to the bridge, so he was unsurprised when they arrived. He _was_ slightly startled to see six Knights of Ren file in behind them and take up guard positions along the wall, but that did happen on occasion.

"Ren. It's about time you…" his voice trailed off as an odor hit his nostrils; they smelled…not good; like a mix of burning hair and sourT perspiration, with a twang of iron that Hux knew meant blood, underneath.

His eyes flicked up and he finally actually saw them. The first thing he noticed was that Kylo Ren's face was bare. He never came to the bridge without his helmet, yet…here he was, with his face on display for anyone to see. And that face – it was pale, drawn, drained, and smeared with what could only be dried blood. His robes were singed in new places, shredded down his chest and back, soaked through with blood that had not completely clotted yet. The apprentice – she looked almost as bad. Her face and hands were smudged with what looked like ash and dust and grease; some of her hair had escaped from her neat buns and straggled around her face in sweaty strings; her clothing was filthy and torn and she was covered in what he assumed was Ren's blood, the red-brown smears streaking her face and arms. "Blast. You two look like hell."

The girl gave him a flat stare. "Yeah? We just got back."

The ship rocked as the _Intimidator_ unleashed another volley of turbolaser fire, but the shields still held. Hux swayed with the movement, unperturbed, and looked from one of them to the other. "Is there…anything you need to tell me?"

Ren looked down at his apprentice, and she turned her face up to his at the same time, and they locked eyes as if they were aware only of one another. "We're engaged," he said, his intense stare never leaving the girl's face. She smiled up at him, practically glowing under the filth and grime.

More laser-fire splattered against the shields.

"I…you…that's…at this moment that's the thing you…"Hux sputtered, blinked several times, opened and closed his mouth and then let out a long breath. What was the point, really? "Congratulations," he said. "Anything that might, perhaps, be more relevant to the fact that _we're under attack_?" His voice rose on the last words, and his face reddened.

Ren finally dragged his eyes away from the girl's and turned toward Hux. "Yes. The Supreme Leader is dead." His eyes were unfocused, staring into the distance.

"We…we killed him," the girl said, as if she were just realizing it as she said the words. As if saying the words made it true. Her eyes were huge and her lower lip quivered a little.

 _We're engaged…we killed him_. Hux shuddered, and decided not to think too deeply about the bizarre mating behavior of Force users. Especially when they looked like they might shatter at any second. He had seen this before, in Stormtroopers, in young officers on the battlefield. Blast shock, his father had _oh-so-sensitively_ called it, usually just before whacking some unlucky cadet upside the head. The more civilized designation that the First Order used, the one Hux typed into his datapad when he sent a recruit for reconditioning, was Combat Stress Reaction, code 67723. Kylo and Rey were exhibiting mild symptoms: sweating, shaking, exhaustion, disconnection. That thousand-meter stare through unfocused eyes.

He had to snap them out of it. He needed them.

He made his voice as calm and soothing as he could. "Ah, well, now, that is useful information. Right, then, time to put an end to this preposterous attack, especially in light of your new…position." Hux turned away from them, already forming a plan, already several steps ahead. "MITAKA!" This was neither calm nor soothing, but a bark that made the lieutenant in question jump and snap to attention.

"Yes, sir!"

"Go fetch some water, protein bars, warm hygienic towelettes and clean clothes. And a medi-droid."

"I do not need a medical droid," Kylo Ren said, but his voice was strained, his lips almost gray.

Hux levelled a cool look at him. "It is my highest duty to serve the Supreme Leader. Or…Leaders." His eyes met Ren's, then slid to the girl's. A silent acknowledgement. "I would be derelict in that duty if I were to let you bleed out on the bridge."

The girl looked up at Ren, and laid a hand on his cheek. "Let him do his job, love. Just to stop the worst of the bleeding until I can heal the rest. We can go in one of the offices."

Ren pressed his lips together and gave a small, sharp nod.

Hux exhaled. "Good. And perhaps, there might be…things we should discuss? Strategy, plans? I have several possible courses of action…"

Ren blinked at him. "You had…plans? For…this?" The shocked look on his face was utterly gratifying.

Hux flashed a smug smile. "Of course. I pride myself on being prepared for every likely eventuality. And this? This has been coming since the first time you captured _her_."

He led them into an office, already running through scenarios in his mind.

* * *

When they emerged ten minutes later, the three strode across the bridge with a renewed vigor. Hux was smiling a grim, self-satisfied smile as he stepped up to the helm, tapped a few buttons to bring up the ship-wide public address system, and keyed the mic. "Attention. All personnel. This is your commanding officer speaking. As you can tell, we are under attack, by our own fleet. They are, for the most part, loyal First Order officers. They believe they are following orders, but they have been…mislead. They are under the impression that the Supreme Leader wants this attack, but that is not the case, as the Supreme Leader is on board this ship as I speak." Hux didn't need the Force to feel the ripple of excitement and fear that ran through the ship. "I intend to correct their mistaken belief and give them the chance to submit to us. However, if they choose not to do so, if they continue to attack, we will not let their treason stand. They are not aware of what this ship, and you, her crew, are capable of. Right now we are simply holding them off, but if they do not back down, _they will find out_. We will go on the offensive, we will attack, we will unleash the might of this ship and her prodigious weapons array, and _we will win._ " His voice rose as he spoke, growing more animated, more frenzied with each phrase. "I realize some of you might be thinking that we are outmatched, because there are six of them to our one. I say they are the ones outmatched, and outgunned. To any who oppose us, we will give no quarter, we will show no mercy. Those who dare stand against us will soon find their atoms scattered across this system. We have not yet begun to show them what we can do."

The bridge, _his_ bridge, erupted in cheers and applause. Hux took several deep, calming breaths as the fervent light faded from his eyes. His crew, his people…they would stand strong. They would prevail. He tightened his fingers around the comm, keying in the ship to ship frequency again, this time enabling the holo-conference feature. Six images appeared on the bank of screens above him. He straightened his jacket and spoke, his voice clear and steady. "Admirals. Captains. I suggest you cease fire instantly, as the Supreme Leader is aboard this ship and any further action on your parts will be considered an act of treason, and will be dealt with accordingly."

"We've received no change in our orders, _Armitage_ , and I'm certain Leader Snoke would not be so unwise as to allow us to attack a ship if he were on board. Your foolish bluff will be ignored."

Hux bristled at Yoryg's disrespectful form of address. "And you won't. Listen carefully, _Delton_. And the rest of you, so that you do not miss anything important this time. I did not say Supreme Leader _Snoke_ was on board. It seems there has been a change in leadership. I suggest you demonstrate your loyalty to the new leadership immediately – or face the consequences."

"New leadership?" Yoryg sneered. "And who would that be? You?"

Ren, somewhat cleaned up, a bit of color returned to his face, and smelling a little better, stood silently at Hux's shoulder, the girl tight against his side. Hux stepped aside so they could be seen on the holo.

"No," Ren said. "That would be us."

"Kylo Ren?" Yoryg's voice was no longer as certain as it had been before.

"You may address me as Supreme Leader or Emperor Ren from now on. _If_ you live long enough to need to do so again. Supreme Leader Snoke is dead."

"Wh-why should I believe this?" Yoryg demanded, but his confidence was faltering.

"Send a team to the surface and see for yourself if you need confirmation. Until then, cease your attack. Swear your loyalty, and I will let you live. Otherwise, I will destroy you."

The comm was silent for long seconds. Finally, Yoryg spoke. "Prove it."

Hux cut his eyes to Ren's. Ren met his gaze, then looked at the girl. She looked up at him and gave a small nod, acknowledging something she didn't seem to particularly like, but accepted.

"Together?" He said.

"Together," she breathed. "and we pull each other back, before…before it's too late."

Hux frowned. He had argued for a harsher demonstration, but this would do. This would do.

They pressed their palms together, stared into one another's eyes until something clicked into place, then turned toward the bank of monitors.

Hux watched, enthralled, as Ren and the girl each held out a hand toward the screens, as their fingers curled in, as the six ship commanders simultaneously clutched at their throats, gasped, coughed, sputtered. It was gratifying to see Yoryg, in particular, clawing at his throat, his eyes bulging, purple splotches forming on his face.

Ren and the girl were transfixed, their eyes dark and blazing, their faces mirrors of one another, lips curling into matching sneers, eyes narrowing, sweat beading on their foreheads. Their breathing was shallow and they seemed to be struggling to let go, to lower their hands. Finally, the girl's hand jerked back and she stumbled backward, gasping. Ren followed a second later, collapsing against her, clutching his hand to his shoulder, chest heaving.

The six commanders sucked in air, rubbed their throats and stared at the holo.

Hux had swept back into view, swirling his greatcoat over his shoulders and blocking the two Force users as they leaned against one another and tried to return to normal. He could tell they were struggling, fighting something he couldn't see or understand, but could almost taste, sour and metallic, in the back of his throat, something pulsing and powerful that emanated from them both like a solar storm. "Well? He said, sneering at the other commanders.

The captains of three ships, the _Fury_ , the _Punisher_ and the _Conqueror_ , all instantly swore loyalty. The other three, the _Tormentor_ , the _Rage_ and of course, the _Intimidator_ , refused and cut the holofeed. The laserfire pummeling the shields intensified.

Ren growled. The girl gaped at the blank screens. "They…they still want to fight, after that? After we showed them what we could do?"

Hux pressed his lips together. "Perhaps they think the former Supreme Leader is still alive. Perhaps they thought it was a bluff; that you did not kill them because you could not."

An especially violent blast hit the shields just in front of the viewscreen, sending them all stumbling, knocking a few crew members to the floor. Mitaka, who had been bringing Hux a stack of reports giving the battle-ready status of the main weapons arrays, was knocked down, spilling the stack of flimsis and hitting his head against the corner of a console. Hux noticed the girl staring in horror at the bright drops of blood forming along the gash on his forehead, watched as she leaned down to help a shaking Mitaka up, wiping at his injury with the corner of her robe.

The girl looked at Hux, at Ren. "But I…I wanted to give them a chance. To show them what we could do without…without… That should have…that should have been enough." More blasts rocked the ship. Her face contorted, her lips and nose and eyes all squeezing in. "Fine…they want proof? Let's give it to them." She stepped to Ren's side, held out a hand in the direction of the blank screens.

Hux tasted metal on his tongue, felt something like static prickle over his skin…and then it was gone.

"Kylo?" Her voice was small, confused.

Ren put his hands on the girl's arms, turned her to face him and shook his head, shoulders slumping. "We can't. They cut their feeds. I can't see them anymore. I have to see them."

She bit her lip.

Hux huffed out a breath. The girl had just learned a rather hard lesson of war. "Right. Well. We still have the most powerful ship in the fleet, and now we have three other ships on our side. It was an effective demonstration…although I do wish you would at least have taken my advice and killed Yoryg." He took several long steps and stopped behind the row of officers in charge of maneuvers. "Come about in a twenty degree climbing turn. Full power. We're going to circle around and come in behind and above the _Intimidator_ and target their aft fuel cells. We punch a hole in their shields there, we can vaporize their fuel, possibly take out their aft engines. _Fury_ , to our right and 45 degrees behind. _Punisher_ , same maneuver with the _Tormentor_ ; _Conqueror_ , to his right and 45 degrees behind. Everyone check your six and make sure the _Rage_ doesn't get the drop on you."

* * *

Leia stepped to the head of the table and cleared her throat. All eyes turned to her. "May I have your attention?" she said needlessly. Her voice was soft but steely, her eyes meeting the eyes of each member of the committee. "We'll be running scenario four, with some slight modifications."

Fingers flicked over datapads, heads nodded assent. This was what they had planned for.

"Black Leader. Status update."

Poe's voice crackled over the comm. "We're in position. Black five has returned. Black four is en route, ETA two minutes fifteen seconds."

"Copy," she said, and turned to Lt. Connix. "Scramble red and blue squadrons. Have them in position just outside the system."

"Yes, ma'am," Connix said, and turned to her console.

Her eyes met Chewbacca's, Maz's, Luke's. "It's time," she said, struggling to keep a tremor out of her voice.

* * *

Kylo pulled Rey against his chest. He was worried. He had not anticipated this. He had thought that once Snoke was gone, that would be it. He had not counted on the rest of the fleet fighting – or even being there. And what frustrated him most was that he couldn't do anything more about it. This was Hux's area – and he was handling it admirably, but…it was combat. Nothing was certain.

The bridge was a scene of controlled chaos. The shields had been breached in two places. They were small breaches, but they could spread. The _Intimidator_ was relentless, raining ion cannon fire and laser blasts toward the vulnerable spots despite having had its own shields breached and a large hole ripped into its aft fuselage. The _Conqueror_ had taken a direct hit and was gliding to the surface of the planet below, attempting a controlled descent that would minimize casualties. The _Fury_ and the _Punisher_ had swept into defensive positions above and slightly behind the _Finalizer_ , but they were smaller, older ships; refurbished Imperial vessels with decades-old technology and small complements of TIE fighters.

The _Finalizer_ was holding its own…just.

They had scored several victories. The _Intimidator_ was disabled, possibly fatally, despite its continued assault. Flames shot out of the damaged portion, as did a cloud of vaporizing fuel, but it had apparently been sealed off internally. The _Tormentor_ was on fire, a complete loss, limping along on two of its seven engines, its orbit decaying rapidly, escape pods ejecting in waves. Some were being taken out by TIE fighters and short-range missiles; others made it to the planet's surface only to be destroyed by space to surface bombardment. TIE fighters swarmed out of the _Finalizer's_ hangar like insects out of a hive, roaring and diving toward the opposing ships' weapons, taking them out one by one in inexorable order.

Still, the battle was a stalemate at this point.

Kylo Ren looked up to see Lt. Mitaka approaching him timidly, a bandage on his forehead, his hat clutched in his sweaty hands. "S-sir? Umm, I mean, ahh…S…Supreme Leader sir? Someone is asking for you. Over the guard channel."

"What, now? Who is it?"

"Umm, ahh….well…sh-she says she's your….mother?"

Every head on the bridge swiveled to look at him. He stood, frozen, for a moment, the room spinning around him, his lungs refusing to work. Mitaka was still speaking, but the words seemed to be coming from far away, or underwater.

"…said that it's imperative that she speak to you _now_. That…that it's…well, she said time-sensitive and related to our current, umm, situation and..."

He couldn't breathe. He felt hot and cold all at once. He clutched his lightsaber hilt with one hand, balling the other into a fist, and took several long breaths, then turned toward one of the private conference rooms. "I'll deal with it in here." He grabbed Rey's hand and pulled her with him.

As they stepped into the room, she turned and glared at the crew. "What are you staring at? Everyone has a mother." She waved a hand and slammed the door closed.

* * *

Leia had gone into her office; this was not a conversation she wanted to have in front of the entire command center.

This was not a conversation she wanted to have at all. Except she did, desperately.

Luke stood beside her, a hand on her shoulder. Maz and Chewie sat in the chairs in front of her desk, one looking too tiny for the chair, the other entirely too large. A disconnected memory of sitting on the edge of a bed telling a small boy with huge brown eyes a bedtime story floated through her mind. 'This chair is tooooo big; this chair is tooooo small;' he always giggled at that part. She closed her eyes and sucked in a breath; in through the nose, out through the mouth, like Luke had taught her.

Time was of the essence; she had to do this.

She picked up the comm. Luke gave her shoulder an encouraging squeeze. Her hand shook as she pressed her thumb against the talk button.

When she spoke, her voice was thick with emotion, the words slow to form. "Be…K…I don't even know…are you there? Can you hear me?" What if he refused to speak to her? "I…just key the mic if you can hear me. Please"

A burst of static came across the channel.

"Okay. Alright. And…can I speak freely? Are you…somewhere private?"

Another burst of static.

She felt like she couldn't get a deep breath, and her hands shook as she held the comm. "Okay. Good." Her voice quavered a bit; she struggled to steady it. "I know we have…much to discuss, and I hope, so much, that we'll be able to do that, but right now I'm offering the one thing I can, the one thing I'm good at. Air support. If you'll accept it."

There was a pause, then she heard the mic keyed again, and…a voice, floating through space and time, through her memories, her hopes, her fears.

"Why?"

Her heart was pounding against her ribs. His voice was so deep; it hadn't been that deep last time she heard it.

"Because…I know what happened. All of it. Rey, and you…" her voice softened. "That you…found each other. I'm glad. And I know _he_ is gone. And I hoped…hoped we could…try again now." She shrugged Luke's hand off her shoulder, stood and started pacing, nervous energy humming through her veins. _I'm fine, I'm fine_. "Because even thought I'm not fine, and I'm not sure I ever will be, I want you back. Because I'm watching what's going on there, and the one thing I know about is combat; I can see the movements of the ships, the extent of the damage, and…what their next move will be. This battle - you can win, but it will be long and bloody and you may not survive; you need reinforcements. I have a squadron of X-Wings that can join you in fifteen seconds; two more that can be there in three minutes. They could turn the tide. Because no matter what," she choked on the words, a sob catching in her throat, "no matter _what_ , I'm still your mother and I love you, and I can help. I can finally help. If you'll let me."

He was silent for a long time. What was he doing? Pacing, like her? She pictured Rey with him. Was she holding his hand? Patting his arm?

"How?" He asked, and she could feel the strain in his voice. "Rey told me about the…pilots. On Jakku. But the rest?"

She needed to explain but – time was critical. She clenched her fists, felt her nails digging into her palms. "Short answer – Maz. Long answer – maybe later?"

Another silence that felt infinite. Finally, he said. "Have them squawk 0419 - that will identify them as friendlies – and monitor Tactical Channel five…this frequency…" she heard tapping on a datapad and a string of numbers flashed on her comm, "to coordinate with the TIE fighter squadrons. And…thank you. M-mother."

Her knees went weak as relief flooded her system. She was out of the office in seconds, already switching to Poe's frequency. "Black squadron, squawk 0419, monitor Tactical Channel five, frequency being uploaded to your R2 units now, and move out. Blue and red squadrons, join them as soon as possible. Go, go, go."

* * *

 **Ship Names:** Most of the ship names I got from a list of Star Destroyer names online; I tried to pick ones that weren't important and weren't destroyed in canon; sorry if I missed anything. The _Intimidator_ and _Fury_ , though, I named after roller coasters at a theme park near here, because the names just seemed to fit.

 ** _Heathers_** reference, because I'm a child of the 80's. But I still haven't forgiven them for what happened to J. D.

 **Fueled and ready, the pilots in the cockpits, engines running idle, can be in the air in 2 minutes:** this is the status of US fighters at DEFCON 2…don't worry, it's not classified, it's all over the internet. I figured Hux could do just as well.

 **To our right and 45 degrees behind** : This is the position of a wing man in formation flying.

 **Force choke across space:** Thank you to Perry Downing for the idea that Kylo and Rey could Force choke all six commanders simultaneously…but not kill them (because Rey especially wouldn't want that). I wanted Kylo and Rey to do something impressive and Force-related to get the other commanders to surrender, but I couldn't decide what. Vader did the Force choke across space to Ozzel, so, as she said, Kylo gets to out-Vader Vader a bit here. J But Vader had to have visual contact, so I figured that was necessary. Thanks for helping me brainstorm this and really work out this whole section, my friend!

 **Squadron:** From what I can tell by googling, a standard X-Wing squadron is 12; a real-life fighter squadron (US) is 12-24. So I'm gonna say Leia's X-Wing squadrons have 12 ships each, for a total of 36, or a full fighter wing. Not sure anyone else cares, but not knowing specific numbers bothered me.

 **Guard channel:** IRL: An international frequency that can be used by any aircraft in distress or experiencing an emergency, or to warn aircraft if they are about to fly into restricted or prohibited airspace. It's 121.5 or 243.0, and it's supposed to be monitored by all aircraft and airports, and it's supposed to be truly international, even between enemies in war. So, for example, I'm puttering along in my Cessna 172 and I, umm, miscalculate my location (pilots are never lost!) and accidentally fly into the Washington DC ADIZ (restricted area), the F16 that intercepts me will try to talk to me on guard before 'escorting' me to the nearest airport…or shooting me down if I don't comply with the escort. Or if I accidentally fly out of my country into another country's airspace without permission, they're supposed to contact me on guard (even if our countries are at war) before they, again, shoot me down. So, guard is handy, and I decided to have a SW-verse version of it for this story, because when you're flying around, sometimes you need a way to talk to whoever is out there, even if they're the enemy.

 **Squawk:** This is a code that pilots IRL put in a transponder that identifies them to ATC and some other aircraft (depending on equipment). If you've ever seen an ATC screen, with all those tiny 4-digit numbers? Those are squawk codes. The numbers usually don't mean anything except that they identify the aircraft, although there are a few squawk codes with meanings: 1200 means VFR (no ATC services) 7500 means hijack, 7600 means communication failure; 7700 means emergency. So I used the same system to allow the FO to recognize the X-Wings as friendlies.

 **Tactical Channel** : a transmission frequency used by TIE fighter pilots for the Galactic Empire. This frequency allowed pilots to receive transmissions from their squad leaders (from Wookiepedia). I figure the FO borrowed everything else from the Empire, why not this too?

And that ends this episode of 'more than you ever wanted to know about aviation radio communications…' J

OMG, I could never be a general! I decided to stop here because the chapter got really long. Next chapter, the X-Wings join the battle (I think that bit will be short because I'm so burned out writing space battles. Picturing all this stuff three-dimensionally is exhausting!)Hux will find out he's suddenly leading a coalition that includes the Resistance…that should be fun! And finally, it's over and our space bunnies can get some rest. And maybe a little something else. ;)

Thank you to Perry_Downing for beta-ing this chapter…I was really stuck on this one, and her input and being able to talk about the story with such a talented writer was so very helpful! If you haven't already, check out her stories, because they are amazing!

Thank you all for reading…it's almost the end! I can't believe this grew to be this huge – it started as a just-for-fun 2-3 chapter bit of fluff-smut. So thanks to everyone who has stuck with it as it got bigger and bigger. I love you all, and I love your reviews and faves especially! Happy Thanksgiving to those in the US, and happy today to everyone else!


	47. Supremacy

**Supremacy**

* * *

 _EDITED to put the italics back because they disappeared!_

 _Note: There is a minor OC death that is implied suicide. It's just a sentence, and it's a minor character, but I wanted to mention it so as not to upset anyone._

* * *

He released the comm and fell against Rey, his arms wrapping around her shoulders, his forehead leaning against her hair. She felt warm and welcoming and _safe_ , and he clung to her until he could get control of himself. It had only been her reassuring nods, her fingers twined through his, and, more than anything, her mental presence, strong and steady, that had sustained him through that conversation.

When he finally managed to steady himself and pull back far enough that he could see her face, Rey was beaming at him, that bright, open smile he loved.

"What?" He whispered, his voice hoarse.

"You called her mother." She was holding both his hands, squeezing gently.

He blinked. "I did."

He was still shaking, still trying to process what had just happened.

Leia Organa had reached out - to him.

Leia Organa knew everything, and she was pleased.

Leia Organa was not fine (he refused to allow himself to think about why she was not fine), but Leia Organa wanted him back anyway.

Leia Organa wanted to fight for him – with her most precious resource - X-Wings.

 _Nine years old, awake in the watery light of early morning after yet another nightmare – claws digging into his skull, ripping the skin away, blood running in his eyes - his mother, in the kitchen, already dressed and heading out the door, prying his fingers off her arm, telling him to go back to bed, he was a big boy and she had work to do; she had to go to the flight line; there was a big mission scheduled today and she needed to be there, give a pep talk before the ships took off; a chair flung across the room as he shouted at her – 'Go, then, and see your stupid X-Wings since you love them so much! Since you love them more than you do me.' Anger and hurt flashing across her face. His voice small, pleading: 'You said you were off today, that you'd be here'; 'Yes, yes, I will, but I thought I'd be done with this and back before you knew I was gone, I didn't expect you to be up before dawn'; 'I had a bad dream'; 'Like the others?' (her brow furrowed, her eyes clouded with concern); 'Yeah, but worse'; (a cool hand wiping his tears away) 'I'll have Threepio fix you some toast and tea. We'll talk about it when I get back.' - only she didn't get back until after dark and then, then the shadows were watching._

Rey's fingers squeezed his hand tighter.

Still - Leia Organa had done something. Something huge. Something public. She had committed resources, had taken an enormous risk - for him.

Leia Organa had said that she was his mother, and that she loved him.

He waited, waited for the resentment ( _you ignored me, you sent me away, you lied to me…_ ) to creep in.

Waited for the disbelief ( _how could you love me when you look at me like that? Like you think I'm a ticking bomb?_ ) to mock him.

Waited for the long held grudges, the suffocating guilt ( _you should hate me, despise me, want me dead_ ), to drown out the hope, but they didn't. They were still there, but weaker, paler. Thoughts swirled through his mind, and, for the first time he could remember, no whispered doubts contradicted his own perceptions. It was as if every thought, every feeling had been warped, distorted. And now they were clear, and sharp. Too sharp. They hurt. It was too much, there were too many emotions, too many things to think about and figure out.

Rey reached up and laid a hand on his cheek. "She wants you back. She always has."

He nodded against her palm. "I know. But I…I can't just erase the past and be Ben again."

"You don't have to. You shouldn't. You're _you_ , and you're free, and you can make your own decisions now."

"I'm not sure I know how."

"Well then, I guess you need a teacher." The corner of her mouth curved up.

He sighed, soft and low, and kissed her forehead. "So. Where do we start, master?"

She rolled her eyes. "We start by winning. And, uh, by letting Hux know what's going on before this turns out to be the shortest alliance in the history of the galaxy."

"Oh, shit. Hux!" He slammed a palm against the door controls, stepped out and almost smacked into a very red-faced General. Hux was practically vibrating with tension, a vein throbbing on the side of his head.

He narrowed his eyes and stepped even closer to Kylo. "Your mother?" he hissed.

Kylo pressed his lips together. Hux was one of the few people in the First Order who knew who he had once been. Possibly the only one. Kylo remembered the first time he had removed his mask in front of Hux. It had been in the audience chamber; Snoke had ordered him to remove it. He had hesitated—and immediately regretted that—because Hux was still there. He remembered the sharp intake of breath from Hux when he looked at him, _recognized_ him. Because Ben Solo had not been a private citizen. There had been holos – state events, campaigns, dinners, speeches when he had stood silently beside his mother, a prop in the pageantry of politics. Snoke's voice, low and susurrate; 'Does that satisfy your curiosity, Captain Hux? Good. Then you're never to mention it again, never to even _think_ the name Ben Solo. Dismissed.' Hux, ever obedient, had never mentioned it again – until now.

"I know who she is, Ren. _What_ she is."

"I am aware." He lifted his chin and stared at Hux. "We have reinforcements." He gestured at the radar screen.

Hux crossed the bridge in three long steps to look at the screen, eyes widening as a dozen little blips appeared seemingly out of nowhere. "Hyperdrive-equipped reinforcements," he said tightly. "Those aren't TIE fighters."

"No," Kylo said.

"They have today's squawk code," he said as he stared at the little strings of numbers popping up beside the blips. "What exactly is going on here, Ren?"

Kylo tightened his grip on Rey's hand, letting her support flow through him as he lifted his head, staring down his nose at Hux. "Congratulations, you're now a coalition commander."

"What sort of coalition?"

"A very effective one, I expect."

"Effective at _what_? Blowing things up?" Hux's voice was a low growl.

"Among other things. Consider it a marriage of convenience, for the current situation only."

"WHAT SORT OF COALITION?" Hux demanded.

"One over which you have command."

Hux jabbed a finger at the radar screen. "Blast it all, Ren, I can recognize the flight characteristics of X-Wings on radar. What is the meaning of this? What. Sort. Of. Coalition?"

"The kind that comes with the exigencies of war. Politics makes strange bedfellows."

"Stop trying to placate me with platitudes. How does it happen that they were here? Was this some nefarious scheme all along?" The general's face was nearly purple.

"This," Kylo gestured at the screen, "was not planned. They're here because they pay attention; surely the movement of the entire fleet attracted notice. This – alliance - was offered to me in good faith. I accepted because we need it."

"If you think I intend to submit to the _Resistance_ …"

"We are not _submitting_ to anyone. We are forming a temporary coalition. _I_ am forming a temporary coalition, as Supreme Leader of the First Order." Kylo snarled. "You'd be wise to remember who and what _I_ am."

Rey pressed closer against his side, her body warm and soft, her fingers clenching against his arm, and he felt that steady support, and an almost electric spike of excitement flicker across the bond before she quickly buried it. He placed his hand on hers, stroking her fingers..

Tension snapped between the two men. Finally Hux exhaled, took a single step back. "My apologies. Supreme Leader. I was only thinking of the safety of this ship. I will not overstep again."

"See that you don't," Kylo snapped, hovering over Hux, refusing to break eye contact.

 _Kylo, stop._ Rey's voice in his head was tense, her energy spiky. _He's on your side. He's just worried._

Kylo clenched his fist, then he let out a breath, and his fury evaporated. Of course Hux was worried; he was being expected to cooperate with the enemy. "Your concerns are not invalid; I have reservations as well. However, you have my word that they will follow your orders. Contact them on Tactical Channel 5."

"The _Resistance_? Will follow _my_ orders?"

"During this battle, yes. The enemy of my enemy is my friend."

Hux glared. "More platitudes. We shall see," he hissed, snatching up the comm and spitting a string of commands into it, his face shifting from anger to disbelief as the vaguely familiar voice on the other end simply responded with terse 'copy thats' and 'yes sirs'.

His nostrils flared as he watched the X-Wings fall into a loose, scattered formation that perfectly complemented the tight, clean lines of the TIE fighters. He turned to Kylo. "Fine. But if I even get a whiff of threat or treachery from them, I will blast them out of the sky."

"I would expect no less," Kylo said, and turned to stare out the viewport as the X-Wing squadrons slid into formation, every movement smooth and practiced.

Black squadron swooped in first, blasting at the _Intimidator's_ weak spots then zipping away, just in time for Red squadron to arrive and repeat the maneuver, followed by Blue in quick succession. The squadron leaders coordinated with the TIE commanders, allowing them to work together in a symbiotic relationship, the TIEs orderly and methodical, the X-Wings swooping and swirling in patterns that appeared chaotic but were really carefully planned, diagrammed, choreographed maneuvers that had been practiced until the pilots could perform them from muscle memory.

He could almost feel his mother's presence, guiding them, directing them; could see the hundreds of hours of planning and training that had gone into the graceful movements of the ships, the precision targeting that looked effortless but was actually planned down to the millimeter; could almost hear her voice speaking calmly into the comm in the command center, issuing orders, still familiar across the years.

As the battle raged, Kylo stood watching through the viewport, Rey at his side, her hand pressed against the transparisteel, her face solemn. He was concerned about her; she had been still, silent, almost clinging to his arm but keeping her feelings hidden. He reached out, through the bond, not wanting anyone else to hear. _You've been so quiet, my love. Are you alright?_

 _Yes. No. I just…_

 _Are you sorry? That you came here? That we…_

 _No. NO! I'm glad._

 _Then what is it?_

 _I just… I thought when it was over we'd just be…free. I don't know how to do…this._

 _What?_

 _Lead._

 _Of course you do. You're the strongest person I know._

Rey shook her head. _That isn't the point. You want me to suit up and go out on a tether and fix the ion cannon turret's rotating mechanism? I can do that. Fly a TIE fighter? That too. Fight in close quarters, with a light saber, a blaster, whatever I can find? I got that too. But leading? Commanding? I lived alone my whole life; I don't know how to do that. I…if I hadn't insisted on being…merciful, if we had done what you and Hux said, killed the commanders and offered their seconds the chance to follow us, all of this would have been prevented. But I insisted we give them a chance._

 _Would you rather we had killed them?_

 _I…no. I don't think I could live with that. They hadn't done anything then, not to us. They didn't know Snoke was…gone. It would have been unjustifiable. Ruthless._

 _You're right._

 _But…now so many more lives are being lost._ Her eyes were enormous; he could see the battle reflected in them. He stared out at the burning ships, the laser fire, the explosions.

He pulled her closer. _I'm glad we didn't kill them. It's what Snoke would have demanded. It's what he drilled into me. No hesitation, no mercy, no compassion, no survivors. I…when I first came to him, there were tests. The initiation, you know about, but after that…others. I was sent on missions to these little outer rim planets – poor, sparsely populated, unimportant - without knowing the reason, the objective – I'm not sure there even was one most of the time, except a show of power. I can't imagine what of any value the First Order could have found in those places. And there was never any larger point – there was just an attack. Stormtroopers marching in, rounding up the inhabitants, looking for contraband – weapons, Resistance propaganda, fugitives - they always found something. And I had one job. Wipe them out, either personally or commanding the troopers. A prescribed chastisement, it was called. And I…I disagreed at first, I argued that it wasn't necessary. And I was punished for my disobedience until I no longer questioned it. It was my role. And it got easier. Each time, it got easier. I stopped arguing. About anything. Until…he wanted to use Starkiller on the Illeenium system. My mother was there. I knew it. He knew it. I…insisted I could get the map. From you. Luke – I would have given him Luke. So that he wouldn't…but it didn't matter._

She looked up at him, tears glistening on her lower lashes.

 _I buried my humanity, my compassion, so deeply that now I cannot trust myself to make decisions. Don't look to me as someone who knows how to lead. I don't._

Rey's face fell into that determined expression that meant she disagreed and she wasn't going to back down. _But you do. Maybe…maybe he twisted things, but he's gone. It's just you now, and you do know how. I expect because…because you absorbed it…before. You grew up with it, lived it and breathed it. I think there's more of your mother left in you than you know._

Just a day ago, he would have taken offense at that. Now he accepted it as the compliment it was.

Hux, shadowed by Phasma, stepped behind them, cleared his throat.

"I know you're there, Armitage. You don't have to cough." He turned to face the general and the captain, keeping Rey close by his side.

"It's over. We have prevailed, Supreme Leader…Leaders." Hux's eyes shifted from Kylo to Rey and back again. "I'm really not sure how to…"

"Don't worry about titles. Please. We're still…us. Just explain?" Rey interrupted.

The battle, Hux said, had turned in their favor quickly, the combination of the inexorable, systematic destruction of the ion cannons and TIEs and the unpredicatableness of the X-Wings was too much for the already-struggling ship commanders. The captain of the _Rage_ , who had held out only due to fear of getting on Yoryg's bad side, had surrendered almost immediately once the X-wings joined in. The _Tormentor_ , already mostly abandoned and spiraling toward the planet's surface, had burned up in the atmosphere. The _Intimidator_ had held out the longest.

"Yoryg was the only one still fighting; when he realized that, he surrendered, resigned his commission and…put a blaster to his temple." Hux finished.

Rey sucked in a breath, a wave of sadness flitting over her features. "Why? Why would he do that?"

"He preferred death to defeat. A virtue that is drilled into First Order officers from a young age," Hux said. "His second in command has pledged loyalty to us. To you. Quite obsequiously."

Kylo gave a short nod. "Good."

Rey frowned, obviously still troubled. Kylo pulled her closer. Yoryg's action did not surprise him, but she came from a world where the one imperative seemed to be survival at any cost.

Rey blinked at the three of them, Kylo, Hux and Phasma, all towering over her. "Now what?" She asked.

Hux stood still, rigid. Waiting. "That, I suppose, is up to the two of you."

Kylo looked down at Rey. "What do you want to do, my love?"

"Why are you asking me? I told you, I don't know how to lead."

He pulled her away from Hux and Phasma, took her hands and pulled her close, his head ducked so his face was close to hers, and whispered, "And I can command but I don't trust myself to…decide."

"We're a fine mess, then, aren't we?" She said, biting her lip.

"This – all of this – I did for you. You…you set me free. Not the Force. You. It was always you. You made me want to be free in the first place, made me think it was possible. Gave me hope. Brought me back to myself. I still feel the darkness, but I also feel the light. You gave me that. If you want to run away, I'll run away with you. We can find that green and blue planet and get to work populating it." He felt a pleasant shiver run through her at that thought. "If you want to make peace with the Resistance, go back there, we'll find a way. But what I said the first day you came here – I meant it, and I still do. This ship – yours. All of them – yours. And if you want an empire, I will give it to you – though perhaps not the same version I had in mind before. I love you, and I trust you. You decide, and I will make it so. That, I can do."

She bit her lip. Hux and Phasma were staring at them, waiting. And Kylo was staring at her. "What are you thinking, my love?"

She looked at him, stepped farther from Hux and Phasma. "I'm thinking about those three little ginger boys, and lovely, lonely Cressa, waiting on Arkanis, and about what Yoryg did. I'm thinking about…about the babies we could make if we went to that green and blue planet. And I'm thinking about what happened to you, and to me, and what could happen to them. Nothing stays hidden. The First Order, the Knights of Ren, even the Resistance… they won't just go away if we do." She bit her lip, stared at her boots. "We can't let it go on. We can't just leave, as much as I want to. We have to…to put an end to it. But not by conquering and slaughtering. And not by surrendering, either. The First Order would never accept that. I think…I think you have your Empire, whether you want it or not."

" _Your_ Empire, love. But do you want that?"

"I don't know? But I think it's what gives us the chance to end this, maybe the only chance. Is there…a way to do that?"

He nodded. "Peace talks. Diplomacy. We could attempt to reach a cease-fire, a truce, an armistice. I'm sure…Mother…would be willing to try. And I…I know a place. Somewhere neutral. Lando."

"Lando? I've never heard of that system."

"Lando's not a system. He's a man. Uncle Lando, I once called him."

"Is there anyone you're not related to?"

"He's not my real uncle. Just a close friend of Han Solo."

She raised her eyebrows. "And you trust him?"

"No. But my mother does – sort of. And he'll let us meet at his mining colony. Cloud City, on Bespin. About two days in hyperspace. We can end it – or try. Is that what you want?"

She looked up, searched his face, his eyes, as if she could find the answer there. And maybe she did, because she made a determined face and gave a definitive nod. "Yes. Yes"

Hux shifted, his polished boots squeaking, and they both remembered he was there.

"Yes?" Kylo said.

"That impertinent Resistance commander is making a pest of himself on the comm, wanting to know if their services are still required."

"Tell him to stand by for now."

He nodded, relayed the order. "And…beyond that? What are your intentions?"

"We will consolidate our forces and end this conflict for good."

Hux raised his eyebrows. "How?"

"Let me worry about how." He stood for a moment, lost in thought, then spoke, his voice clear and decisive. "Captain Phasma, prepare boarding parties for the remaining ships, and landing parties to go to the surface and retrieve any survivors and supplies. And do it on the double; you have precisely twenty standard minutes to get everyone and everything back on board. Take the Knights with you." He gestured for Dala Ren, who stepped closer. "Go with Phasma's troopers; I want a team on each remaining ship in order to ensure their loyalty." He turned back to Hux. "General. Plot a course for the Anoat System."

Hux and Phasma both saluted smartly. "Yes, Supreme Leaders," they intoned. Dala Ren bowed his head in acknowledgement and returned to the other Knights, already splitting them up into teams.

Kylo tilted his head. "Supreme Leader is a made up title. I think I'd prefer Emperor."

Hux's eyes widened, and then he smiled. "Yes, sir!" He stalked to the nav console where a lieutenant and three technicians awaited his instructions.

Rey ran a hand along Kylo's arm, lingering along his bicep and squeezing gently. _You see, you're a natural leader._

 _I can issue commands. That's not the same thing._

 _Well, you're…very good at it. I sort of like it, seeing you like this, all…in charge._ She blushed, and he caught a shade of memory – her first day on the ship, in his quarters.

He smiled. _Really?_

She ducked her head and her blush intensified.

He lifted her chin so he could see her face, his eyes holding hers for a few seconds. The he looked out, at the smoldering Star Destroyers, the TIE fighters returning to their ships in an orderly landing sequence; the X-Wings circling in a holding pattern, and the planet below, cloaked in icy fog.

He looked at the commlink clipped to his belt and moved them away from the bustle in the center of the bridge. "I have…one more thing to attend to."

* * *

Leia sank into a chair at the head of the round table. It was her chair, she supposed, although she hadn't used it. She had been too busy, too on edge, too strung out on emotions and adrenaline and nerves to be still. And now, all of that was oozing out of her and she was exhausted, the muscles in her neck aching, her eyes stinging and bleary…even her hair hurt; she longed to release it from the coiled braids she had bundled it in and that now hung heavy at the crown of her head.

The rest of the committee sat around the table, too, nearly as exhausted as she was, she supposed. Statura's usually neat uniform was crumpled, wrinkles pressed in at the elbows and stomach and knees. Emmat's hair was sticking up all around his face, wiry gray strands popping out everywhere. Finn was chewing what had to be his fourth or fifth headache tablet. Empty water bottles and bits of trash and uneaten food littered the table, despite Threepio's efforts to keep things neat.

They were wrapping things up. She had received a report from Poe; the battle was won; the _Finalizer_ was mopping up the mess. The X-Wing squadrons were in holding, waiting for the all-clear from 'the officious prick who seems to be in charge over there' - Poe's words - so they could return to base. But it wasn't this battle that meant victory or defeat; she knew it; they knew it. And so they all waited, still tense, still uncertain.

"General," Connix said, almost apologetic at having to disturb Leia when she had just let herself sit down.

Leia smiled, that soothing smile that made her troops feel valued. "Yes, Lt. Connix?"

"Incoming message, ma'am. Guard channel. Audio only."

Leia instantly tensed and jumped to her feet, grabbing the comm and turning her back to the conference table and the stares of the committee. "Go ahead?"

Static crackled; and then, a low voice. "The battle has ended."

"Yes. I know."

"Your assistance was…appreciated. It made…a great difference."

"I'm…glad." She didn't know what to say. There were so many things she wanted – needed – to ask. But she didn't know how.

"I…Rey and I that is…we are…well, it's up to us now, what to do. And we would like to…talk."

It's up to us now, what to do. Her heart leapt into her throat. "Talk?" Her voice was a strained croak.

"Yes. If you're willing."

"I am." She paused. "Just us?"

"To start. But…bring anyone you feel would be useful for…negotiations."

"Understood." Talk. Negotiations. The personal, the political, irrevocably intertwined. "Where?"

"I was thinking…Cloud City."

"Lando's?"

"It's…neutral territory. I'm sure he'd agree."

"Yes. Yes, of course he would. He's always been…flexible."

"Right. Well. In three days?"

Everyone around the table was staring at her, hanging on every word. Peace talks. That was what he was proposing. An end to the war. Her hands were shaking, her throat tight. Three days. "I'll be there," she said.

"Thank you. Mother?"

"Yes?"

"There's one more thing."

"Anything."

She heard him suck in a breath. When he spoke his voice was strained. "There's a fortress. On the planet below. I'm sending you coordinates."

She waited, and a string of numbers flickered across her datapad screen. "I have them."

"Have your pilot fly over. Locate it. Umm, please."

"Stand by." She turned to Connix. "I need Commander Dameron on comm, please." Connix tuned to Poe's frequency and gave a nod. Leia keyed the mic and told him what was needed.

There was a pause, then Poe's voice. "Coordinates plugged in." Another pause as he flew over the planet. "I've got eyes on it."

"Live feed please."

"Copy that."

A holo popped up on the large screen in the center of the table. It showed, in grainy low-orbit magnification, enhanced with thermal and night vision, a fortress, all jagged stones and spiky towers, shrouded in icy fog. Even from here, she could feel it, the darkness of the place, insidious tendrils pricking at her scalp and setting her teeth on edge. Luke stood, stepped to her side and placed his hand, warm and solid, on her shoulder, steadying her. Really, she would have preferred to be alone in her office, but she wasn't, so she swallowed around the lump in her throat and spoke.

"I see it. Why are you showing me this?"

"Because it belonged to…it's a place that is very strong in the dark side. It was where…it belonged to…"

A new voice cut in. Soft, gentle, loving. "Kylo. Let me."

"Rey," Leia breathed. "I'm so glad to hear your voice. Are you…are you alright?"

"I am. More now than in a long time. I…it's good to hear your voice too."

"Rey, what is that place? It – I can sense it from here. The darkness. So strong, so…suffocating…"

"Yeah. You have no idea. I can still feel it, on my skin and in my hair. Like some oily film you can't wipe off. It was where we confronted…him. You know."

Leia closed her eyes and shuddered. Yes, she knew. "Is that where he lived?"

"It's where he died." It was her son's voice again, stronger now. "There's no one left on the surface. No one _living_. The planet was uninhabited and we evacuated all the survivors of the crashed ships. But artifacts, remains are…they have power."

She understood. "What do you want me to do?"

His voice was low, gravelly, barely audible over the comm. "Obliterate it."

Leia's lips curved up in a grim smile. "Gladly," she said, and the guard frequency went silent. "Poe. Prepare for a bombing run. All three squadrons. Carpet bombing. Those coordinates."

"Yes, ma'am. You heard her, people, lock s-foils in attack position. Let's light it up."

They watched, the committee, through Poe's feed as the bombs dropped, flames blooming in bright three-dimensional night-vision-green, as the towers of the fortress crumbled and fell, as fire consumed the structures. Feeds from Blue and Red squadrons replaced his, more bombs, more flames, the entire holo a bright green glare, the committee squinting at it.

She supposed her son and Rey were watching too, on a similar screen, and she hoped he was glad. Hoped the flames and destruction somehow helped, healed, soothed.

"Mission accomplished, General," Poe's voice came over the comm.

"Do you have any munitions left?"

"Wha…yes ma'am."

"Then go again," she said, voice low and grim.

"Uh. Yes, ma'am. You heard the lady. We're making another pass. Standard pattern, left traffic." They watched as the ships swung around in a neat rectangle, each cutting the corners at precisely the same spots, swept low again and dropped more bombs and torpedoes. More green flames bloomed over the conference table, consuming everything.

"Again," she said.

"Ma'am? There's nothing left down there."

"I said again." Her teeth were clenched, her hands balled into fists, her vision filled with the inferno on the distant world. It wasn't enough. She wanted more. She wanted the conflagration to engulf the whole planet; she wanted the flames to melt the ice and boil off the atmosphere; she wanted the crater to reach the vile rock's molten core so that lava flowed over what was left; she wanted to see the planet _bleed_.

"Leia." She blinked, noticing for the first time that she was crying. Luke was standing in front of her, a hand on each shoulder, shaking her gently.

She gulped, came back to herself a bit, swiped the tears away with the back of her hand. "What?"

"Stop. There's nothing left."

"No. I have to be sure." She pressed the talk button. "Poe, again. And again and again until you don't have anything left to drop." Hot tears spilled down her cheeks unchecked.

Luke shook her harder. "Leia. Stop. You have to stop. It's enough. He's gone. He was already dead. There's nothing left but a smoking hole in the ground."

She looked at her brother, her eyes boring into his. "It'll never be enough. If I emptied the arsenal, it wouldn't be enough. If I used every last scrap of ammunition in the galaxy it wouldn't be enough. I want every trace of him to burn. I want to incinerate his bones and scatter his ashes across every system in the galaxy. I want his very name wiped from history."

He pried the commlink out of her hand as she leaned against him, sobs wracking her small body. "I know. I know." Luke said. "But it's done. It's over."

She let herself collapse against her brother, her tears soaking the shoulder of his robe, as she finally, for the first time in decades, gave in to the need to be comforted.

Luke keyed the mic. "Poe, come home."

"All teams, our job's done. Let's go." Poe's voice floated through the room.

Finn let out a long, relieved breath and sank back into his chair.

Leia lifted her head and scrubbed both hands over her face, mortified. She was blubbering in the middle of the command center. Her face felt raw and her eyes were puffy. Her chest spasmed with the aftershocks of her tears. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," she said, hiccupping a little, then visibly pulling herself together.

"Leia, dumpling," Maz said, standing on the table and taking Leia's chin in her hand. "You have been so strong for so long, and you've carried the burden alone." Maz shot an accusing glance at Luke. "And now there is a chance for peace, for reconciliation. You did that. Well, you and that girl and your boy." Leia looked at Maz, skeptical. "Yes. Him too." Maz patted Leia's cheek. "Of course you're affected. You do not need to apologize to us for _feeling_." Everyone else around the table nodded, their faces full of warmth and support.

She smiled a watery smile and watched as, one after another, the X-Wings flickered off the screen, disappearing into hyperspace.

* * *

The _Finalizer_ was safely in hyperspace. A squadron of Stormtroopers, hand-picked by Phasma and subjected to a mild mind probe at her insistence guarded the doors to their quarters.

They both stood just inside, leaning against the durasteel doors. It was cool and quiet and dim.

"This doesn't seem real," Rey said.

"No," he agreed.

They were silent for a long time, leaning against one another, their hands intertwined, their breathing in sync.

"I want to take a bath," Rey finally said.

Kylo nodded. "Me too. You-you can go first."

She nodded.

He reluctantly let go of her hand as she stepped away, maintaining contact for as long as possible, their fingertips finally parting for the first time in what felt like hours. It left his own hand feeling cold. He watched her intently as she crossed the room. Their room.

She stepped into the 'fresher, bone weary and feeling stunned, and put a hand on the door to close it, but hesitated. Her eyes met his and they were haunted, dazed. "You can come in with me," she said, her voice small. "I'm not ready to be alone either."

His face brightened. "I'd like that," he said, crossing the room quickly.

* * *

This chapter turned into a monster. I really wanted some thank-god-we're-alive sex, but I ran out of time and the chapter got so long – darn war, getting in the way of sexy times…but never fear, the next chapter will start off with a bang. ;)

No notes this time, except to say thank you, thank you, thank you for reading and especially those who review! And thank you to Perry_Downing for being an awesome beta again. I was sort of lost as to how to end this one, and she helped me find a place to stop that made sense, as well as smoothed out the rest of the chapter. A million thanks!


	48. Solace

**Solace**

* * *

Tired. She was so _tired_. Tired down to her very bones. It had been, well, a rather long day. But bathing would help. Bathing, then sleep. Together. _Free_.

She turned the knobs in the shower, letting the water spray over her hand as she adjusted the temperature, getting it as hot as she could stand. She still felt a twinge of guilt every time she showered – it was such a profligate waste of water. But there was something so soothing about letting the hot water flow over her hair and skin and wash everything away. She needed that. She could still feel the lingering chill of the planet, the cold oily film of the darkness that saturated it.

Plus, she smelled pretty rank.

She toed off her boots, then started peeling her clothes away, slowly, dropping her robe and pants on the floor. Wasteful or not, _that_ outfit was going down the garbage chute. Kylo sat awkwardly, watching her, following every movement. His eyes were large, shadowed by dark circles, and still a bit haunted, darting around the room every now and then as if he thought something might be trying to sneak up behind him.

"Aren't you going to get undressed?" she asked.

He blinked at her. "What?"

"Well, you don't shower fully clothed, do you?"

"Y-you want to get in together?"

She pulled her tunic over her head. "Why not?"

He shrugged, his pale cheeks tinged with pink. She felt something like apprehension coming from him. She realized they had never just undressed in front of one another – not like this, not without desire and urgency and passion.

"Are you…you're shy? About this? After all the things we've done?" She squirmed out of her undershirt and freed her hair from what was left of her three buns. Steam billowed out of the shower, warming her fingers and toes. She leaned over him, her hair brushing against his face, and slid her hands under his cowl, slipping it easily over his head. Then she unfastened his belt and dropped it to the floor.

"What are you…"

"Shhhh," she said, fingers sliding inside the placket of his tunic and finding the clasps. "Let me take care of you."

He opened his mouth as if to argue, but then closed it again and let her continue.

She pushed his robe and tunic over his shoulders and down his arms and hissed at the gashes underneath. Hux's bacta had helped, staved off infection, but they still looked red and raw, blood seeping along the wounds. She breathed in, centered herself and stepped between his knees, letting her fingertips trail along the worst of the injuries.

"Rey, you don't have to. They'll heal. They always do."

 _They always do_. She looked at the scars criss-crossing his chest, and she had to close her eyes for a moment to get control of the spike of anger that flashed through her. Never again, she reminded herself, remembering the _thunk_ of that pipe against Snoke's skull; remembering how the Force lightning had flickered from their hands and sizzled along his skin, filling the air with the acrid scent of burning hair and ozone; remembering how _satisfying_ it had been. She supposed she shouldn't let herself feel that way; supposed that was a dark side reaction, but it didn't change the fact that she _did_ feel that way.

"Shhh, it's all over now, they don't have to this time," she said, trailing her fingers along each laceration, feeling the skin knitting together under her almost-touch, feeling Kylo shudder as she let a fingertip make contact with the healed flesh. When she was done with his chest, she angled him so she could reach the slashes on his back, absently running her fingers through his soft hair. He moaned and leaned his head into her touch.

When she was finished and there were only faint lines where the angry red gashes had been, she lifted each of his hands and pulled off his gloves one at a time. Then she stretched out his arms, one then the other, and unwound the armguards. He sighed as she let the last strip of material drop to the floor and ran her hands up his arms. She dropped to her knees in front of him, leaned over and gripped the heel and toe of one large boot in her small hands and pulled.

"Rey, what…get up..."

She reached up, put a finger on his lips. "You should get used to people kneeling before you, _Emperor_." She flicked her eyes up at him, and smiled, a seductive grin that left him gaping and speechless as she pulled off his other boot. Yeah, he liked that. Even more than 'master'. She'd remember that for later.

She ran her hands up his legs, stroking the muscles of his calves before resting them on his knees and pushing herself to her feet again. "Stand up," she said. He did, and she stepped back, her eyes roving over his body, naked except for leather trousers that hung low on his hips. Her eyes lingered on his hipbones, jutting out just above his waistband. He reached out, placing a hand under her chin and making her meet his gaze. His eyes were huge and hungry and she couldn't look away. Her hands slid along his waist and found the lacing, carefully untying and loosening the leather cord. He dropped his hand to her breast bindings and untucked the end, then unwound the strip of cloth. She pushed at the leather of his trousers, trying to slide them over his hips, but the stiff material resisted. He placed his hands over hers and nudged them down, letting them drop to his ankles and stepping out of them.

She hooked her thumbs in her panties and slid them off, while he did the same with his shorts. Then she took his hand and stepped into the shower, sighing as the hot water ran over her body and pulling him under the steaming spray as well.

Rey grabbed a cleansing cloth and scrubbed it over his face, despite his feeble protests. He was still reeling from the day – relieved but traumatized, she could feel it, and she was going to take care of him. She pumped some soap from the dispenser and started running the cloth over his body, cleaning him quickly and efficiently while Kylo let the water soak his hair and stream down his face and chest. When she was done, she began scrubbing herself, quick and businesslike, scouring her skin with the cloth.

Once they were clean, they just stood under the hot stream for a long time, rinsing the memory of blood and ash and death from their skin.

When she started scrubbing vigorously at her hair, though, he stopped her, placing his hands over hers. "Let me," he said. "Like this." He slid his hands into the wet strands and massaged gently, his fingertips making small, delicate circles on her scalp, then sliding through her wet, lathered strands. It felt nice, those long fingers stroking and pulling. She sighed and leaned into his touch, her body melting into his. He reached over and pumped conditioner into his hand and smoothed it along her locks, running his hands down her back and over her shoulders. They were slick from the conditioner and hot and soft from the water.

"Mmmmm, oh, that feels so good," she sighed, letting herself relax against him, fatigue and the inevitable adrenaline crash making her limbs feel heavy, the day's tension oozing out and leaving her limp against his hard muscles and…"Oh." She rubbed her bottom against his stiffening cock. He let his hand drop to her breast, rubbing the same little circles around her nipple as he had on her scalp, and she whimpered, pushing her breast into his hand.

He turned her, leaned down and took her nipple in his mouth. Oh, it was even warmer than the water pouring over them, and he repeated the circles with his tongue, swirling it around and around. She reached up and grabbed his hair and pulled, making him moan against her skin. Then she found the shampoo and lathered his hair.

He lifted his head, but she pushed it back against her skin. "Don't stop," she gasped, pressing her fingers into his scalp, mimicking his circular pattern, running her fingers through his ebony waves. "Mmmm, I always wanted to do this," she said, grabbing the bottle of conditioner and squirting some into her palm, smoothing it through his hair, tugging slightly to pull his mouth to hers. _Kiss me._

He did, his lips so soft and languid, his tongue finding hers, his hands running over her slick skin, his cock hard against her stomach. She reached down and grasped it, pumping it with her slippery hand until he was groaning into her mouth and she felt his legs trembling against hers. He pulled his mouth from hers and trailed kisses oh-so-gently down her throat.

She felt a familiar throbbing between her legs. Maybe she wasn't quite so tired after all.

"Feel better?" He asked, nibbling at her collarbone.

"Mmmm-hmmm."

He reached around her, turned the water off and stepped out, toweling himself off quickly and wrapping the towel around his waist. Then he wrapped a fresh warm towel around her and dried her off, rubbing gently until her skin was glowing and pink. "Let's go to bed," he said, taking her hand and pulling her along.

They curled together, both on their sides, Kylo coiled around Rey, her back pressed to his chest, his arms tight around her, her fingers laced with his, the bond flowing between them with feelings of safety and warmth and _I love you_ , back and forth in a loop.

The bed was soft, but not as soft as his kisses and his hands and his voice, oh, his voice, so low and soft she could feel it in her chest as he whispered against her ear, "I love you. I love your hair, your eyes, your lips, your earlobes…" he rolled her over to face him and kissed each part as he named it. "Not just that, though. I love your fierceness and your strength. I love how brilliant you are, and how independent. How…brave," his voice cracked. "Thank you, Rey, my love, my life."

He dragged his lips down her neck, pressing a kiss to the hollow of her throat and then moving down, cupping her breasts with his hands and running his tongue along the valley between them, burying his face there and breathing in as if he was trying to inhale her. "I love how you smell…how you taste."

She whimpered, dragging her nails down his back as his lips found her nipple. "I love your nipples, how they pucker up when I suck on them." She took in a shuddering breath. Force, she had forgotten how tender he could be. Oh, his mouth, his mouth was so hot, his lips so soft.

"Kylo," she said, voice pleading, "Kylo, your mouth is perfect."

He slid his hands between her thighs, nudging her legs apart, propping her upper leg on his hip and sliding his long fingers between her folds. Her whimpers turned to gasps as two fingers slid inside. "Oh, and your hands are perfect, too. I love your hands."

"I know," he whispered, gliding his fingers, wet from her arousal, up until he found that little sensitive nub, flicking his middle finger over it, faster and faster until she was writhing against him.

"Yes, yes," she gasped, thrusting her hips. It wouldn't take her long, she could feel herself climbing, her muscles tensing. "I'm going to come; I'm going to come on your hand," she panted, staring into his eyes, oh, such huge eyes, watching her with such tenderness and intensity.

"I need you, Rey, I need you tonight. Let me make love to you." His voice was low, desperate, almost breaking, and it made her feel like she was melting. He needed her.

"Yes, please," she whispered.

He kissed her neck and shoulder as he slipped inside her and started thrusting, his fingers still moving on her clit, and that was all she needed, she was clenching, her hands clinging to his shoulders. "Oh, Kylo, yes, I love love love your cock."

He slammed into her again, harder, and again, and then he was there too, his kiss on her shoulder turning to a bite that made her cry out and shudder again in pleasure.

Then they were still, their breathing slowing, their bodies pressed together.

"Rey," he said, stroking his hand up and down her arm, "Stay with me."

"You know I will."

"Forever?"

"Kylo. We have a Force bond. And…today…well, that had to forge some sort of permanent dark side union. Plus we're going to get married. I can't think of anything more permanent."

"When?"

"When what?"

"When do you want to get married?"

"I…I hadn't thought about it. What about you?"

"Well, I…I was thinking - soon? Very soon?"

She nestled closer to him. "I suppose it'll have to be after all this is over?" There was something wistful, almost disappointed in her voice.

"Not necessarily."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, Hux could perform the ceremony and handle the paperwork….as the ship's commanding officer, he's legally authorized to serve as officiant while in space."

"Hux?" Her tone was dubious.

She felt him nod against her hair. "So… what about…now? Would you want to do it now? We can …can we go ahead and do it now?

"I…I…"

He pulled away. "Never mind. I was pushing too hard. Take your time. Be sure…"

She looked up at him. "Kylo. I am sure. I want to marry you. I want to be yours, always. I just…" she looked down, feeling small and petty and selfish.

"What?" He asked.

"I just sort of wanted a…a wedding." Her voice was small, like a little girl's. "I saw a holo once; I found it on a crashed transport ship. It must have belonged to one of the passengers, someone important. It was…so beautiful. There were so many flowers and the couple, they wore the most gorgeous clothes – his were dark and rich and made of some sort of deep blue material that looked like fur, and hers…oh she looked like a cloud, all palest pink and white and floaty. I was only seven or eight and I loved watching that holo – I watched it until it wore out. And I knew I'd never have anything like that but at the same time…"

"Rey. My love, my Empress, my soul, you shall have a wedding. As grand as you want, and a perfect dress and the largest cake in the galaxy, once all this is over. This doesn't prevent that. But marry me. Now. At ship's first light. Say the words that make you mine and later we'll celebrate with the whole galaxy, but don't make me wait any longer. I need to know you're mine forever," he said, hand trailing over the curve of her hip as he leaned in and kissed her hungrily.

His eyes were glowing with a desperate intensity as he poured his love out across the bond. She felt like she was bathing in it, swimming in it.

"Oh yes. Yes!" She scattered kisses across his chest, finally capturing his mouth and giving a loud smack. "Of course I'll marry you tomorrow. I'll marry you right now. We can go roust Hux out of bed this minute."

He gave a low chuckle. "I can wait until morning to make it official…but no longer. In the morning I'll make you my wife. Tonight, I'll make you mine. Again."

She was suddenly _throbbing_ in anticipation, her thighs already slick.

He growled, and kissed his way down her body, pressing soft, hot lips along her thighs, running his tongue up, up to the juncture of her thighs, flicking it along the place where her leg met her hip.

"Kylo, oh, Kylo,"she intoned, and he plunged his tongue inside of her, making her arch off the bed and let out a low, guttural scream. Suddenly she was the one aching with need. "Kylo," she growled. "I need….I need…"

 _What_? He asked across the bond so he didn't have to stop what he was doing with his tongue. _I'll give you anything. Everything._

"You. Inside me, now. _Emperor_ ," she said, and her voice was desperate and demanding and ravenous.

He shuddered against her. "Oh, Force, Rey, do you have any idea – of course you do, I know you do - what that does to me, you calling me that?" he groaned, pulling his tongue away long enough to speak before moving his attentions up to her aching clit.

She laughed, a low sultry sound. She knew, knew exactly how he would react to that. Knew that it would make his cock throb and ache for her, knew that it would make him forget the quaking, unmoored feeling that she felt still lurking in the back of his mind. "Show me, Emperor" she said. "Show me who I belong to."

He slid his hands up her legs, grabbing her ankles and straightening her legs _. I will, I will, but first I want you to come for me. I need to feel you come on my face._

She was already shaking, pulsing, so close, and hearing him say that…she dug her nails into his back and ground against him. "Oh, yes. Yes, my Emperor."

His hands were like shackles around her ankles, keeping her legs spread wide in the air. His tongue was relentless, swirling and flicking, faster and faster until she was shrieking and thrashing, heat building in her center and spreading through her body, pulsing faster and faster, harder and harder as he kept moving his tongue. Then she felt herself clench and she was making sounds she wasn't even sure were human, rising higher and higher, her hips lifting up toward his mouth, wanting more, more until…oh, Force, oh kriff, she was floating and falling and exploding and somewhere she heard herself screaming his name over and over and her eyes were rolling back and she was arching her back and pressing herself against his mouth, oh, his perfect, perfect mouth.

She flopped against the bed, gasping, throat dry, but he still had her ankles in his hands, still had her legs spread, and was still lapping at her with his tongue. She tried to pull away, everything down there too sensitive, too raw, but he didn't stop _. Kylo, I already…_

 _I know. I want you to come again._

 _I can't._

 _You can. The Emperor decrees it._

"Guunhhh," she grunted, but suddenly she was thrusting against his mouth again, as aroused as if they were just starting. The second time was even better than the first, bright lights flashing behind her eyes, the familiar smell of ozone filling the room as Force lightning flashed across the ceiling and she wailed and keened.

"Oh, my love, my perfect, _powerful_ love," he whispered, pulling away, releasing her ankles and wiping a hand across his mouth. His face glistened with her juices as he crawled up the bed. "Now, tell me again what you want me to do to you?"

She felt light and loose and limp. "I want you to take me, _Emperor Ren_. I want you inside me. I want you to take me any way you want, every way you want. I want you to show me I'm yours and you're mine."

"As you wish, my Empress. Anything you wish." He put a hand on each knee and pushed her legs apart. "Spread your legs for me. Let me see what's mine."

She obliged, letting her knees fall open so he could see her glistening pink pussy.

He rewarded her with a groan and reached down to stroke his stiff cock, running his hand up and down the hard length. She lay there, looking at him, his muscled chest and his sharp hipbones and his cock, oh, his huge cock, hard and aching for her.

"Come here," she breathed.

He was on her, then, jerking her to the edge of the bed. He kissed her, his mouth hard and hungry, and plunged his cock inside her. "Oh, Force, Rey. I'm going to…I need to…take you hard and fast."

"Yes," she exhaled as he pulled her ankles onto his shoulders and pounded into her, fierce and frantic. She felt his aching need as he clung to her thighs.

"Look at me," He demanded, thrusting harder, and she did, pushing herself up on her elbows and rewarding him with an intense stare. He grunted, growled, shouted, his face twisting in something beyond mere pleasure or release as she felt him come, hot and wet, deep inside her.

He collapsed on top of her, his breathing slowly returning to normal. He was heavy, and she was lying awkwardly half on and half off the bed. He shifted and pulled her onto his chest. She wrapped her arms around him and held him, listening to him breathe and feeling, for the first time in a long time, safe as she drifted off to sleep, her body warm and limp.

* * *

Phasma raised an elegant eyebrow as Hux walked into the officer's club. She had last seen him when he left the debrief in the bridge conference room several hours ago. Now he was here, hair mussed, coat and hat gone, top jacket button undone, expression pained. That could only mean one thing. "They still going at it?"

He rolled his eyes and ran a hand through his no-longer-pristine hair. "Would I be here otherwise?"

"You look like shit," she said.

"My apologies for my lack of sartorial splendor. It is oh-three-hundred and I spent the day in battle." He snapped, his lips twisted in a sardonic smirk. "And you don't exactly look fresh as a dew-flower either. Are you intoxicated?"

She ruffled her short blonde hair. "Kriffing helmet. And I'm working on it." She took a swig of clear liquid from the bottle on the table. "What I wanna know is, where do they get the energy? I mean, you think _we_ went through the shit today? Whatever they did had to be ten times worse."

Hux pressed his lips together. "Indeed. And I've no clue. The Force?"

Phasma chuckled. "That's a thought."

"One I'd prefer not to dwell on." Hux made a sour face. He was even more priggish than usual when his routine was disrupted.

"Oh, for kriff's sake. Just pound on the wall. They'll get the hint."

He blinked at her flatly. "Yes. Yes, that's a splendid idea, Phas. I'll pound on the wall of the new _Supreme Emperor_ or whatever the bloody hell he wants to be called, and interrupt him while he's getting his rocks off with Our Lady of the Lead Pipe. That's bloody brilliant, unless of course one enjoys breathing. Which I do."

"Well, play some nice, loud music, then."

" _Loud music_? I want to sleep, not _dance_."

Phasma huffed. "Maker, Armitage, you're in more of a snit than usual. Have a drink." She shoved the bottle toward him.

"Bloody Force, are you drinking Sesharilian vodka, _straight_?"

"Yup. Want some?" She lifted the bottle and waggled it enticingly.

"You may as well drink hull stripper."

She braced herself and took another swig. "I think hull stripper would go down smoother. Look, I was really having a hard time coming to terms with, well, everything. I mean, did we just actually _team up_ with the _Resistance_? What the _kriff_?"

"Quite," he said.

"So. I decided to get shitfaced. And after about half a bottle of this stuff? I'm feeling pretty chill. I mean, we won. We're still the First Order, we just have less brass, and from my perspective, that's not a bad thing. Ren's in charge now and, well, he's been a pretty decent sort since he started getting it regular. Comparatively speaking, I mean. I feel like I can say what we were all thinking now: Snoke was creepy as hell, and I was never sure what his end game actually was, you know? Whereas with you, I know. It's power, conquest, victory. I can trust you. I can understand you. And I can understand Ren; I know what his priority is. _Her_. So long as we stand behind him and, more importantly, _her_ , he won't throw us under the transport. And I still get to kick ass. So…whatever. Ya know?"

"Hmm. You do make a few rather excellent points." He tilted his head, ran a hand through his hair, and snatched the vodka. He removed a starched white handkerchief from his inner jacket pocket and wiped the rim of the bottle. "Using a glass too posh for you?" He sneered.

Phasma rolled her eyes at Hux's punctiliousness, but inwardly she was glad to share a drink with her persnickety colleague. They were in this – whatever _this_ was – together.

"Here's to the Emperor and his Empress, may the Force be with them…and may it stay far away from us." He brought the bottle to his mouth, gulped the liquid and coughed, his face going from bright red to purple to white. "Good stuff, good stuff," he wheezed.

Phasma snickered and held out a hand for the bottle.

* * *

The lights in the corridor were dim, the only sounds the dehumidifiers that kept the moisture of the planet at acceptable levels.

The Skywalker twins were walking in companionable silence, arms linked.

Luke stopped at Leia's door. "Are you going to be alright?" he asked.

She nodded.

He wrinkled his brow. "You sure? 'Cause you kind of lost your shit back there…"

She laid a hand on his arm. "Relax. That wasn't the dark side. That was thirty years of frustrated motherhood. I'm good now. I really am."

He nodded, then cocked his head. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course."

"What would you have done if he hadn't talked to you? If he had refused your offer to help?"

She sighed, her shoulders sagging, her eyes on the foam-carpet that lined the floor of the corridor. "Lost a lot more ships, I expect."

Luke exhaled, nodded, and pulled his sister into an awkward hug. Of course. _Of course_ she would have helped anyway. This was her last resort. "That's what I figured. I…I'm glad. For you. Goodnight, sis."

He watched her door slide closed, ran a hand over his beard. For her. He would try, for her.

* * *

Gah, this chapter fought me. A million thanks to Perry_Downing for helping me whip it into shape. It has a totally different shape and feel than it did originally, and I like it a lot better. Hugs and virtual chocolates and a dozen of those dark side cookies I keep hearing about to you, my friend!

Dew-flowers, Sesharilian vodka and foam-carpet all from Wookipedia.

I might get one more update done before the holidays, but I'm not sure. Thank you for reading and if you have time to leave a review, thank you even more! They're like Christmas presents, but better because they never have to be exchanged!


	49. Ceremony

Ceremony

* * *

 _This chapter, and especially the next one, is dedicated to Carrie Fisher, our Princess and General, may the Force be with her, and her mother Debbie Reynolds. I like to think they're together now in whatever afterlife you believe in. I had just finished this chapter when I found out, and I spent a lot of that day crying. I have always felt such a connection to Leia, as a 6 year old who loved that a princess could also be a hero, and as an adult whose life didn't exactly turn out the way I expected. I wasn't sure if I wanted to post this yet, but I hope that it will bring everyone some happiness and healing. It's a very happy chapter – almost too happy, I was afraid, but Space Mama would want her boy to be happy, and he really is in this one. And the next chapter, well, I had already written most of it already; it's the reunion between Kylo and Leia, and I really want to get to that because, well, I need it._

* * *

He felt her stir against her chest and opened his eyes. They had slept, deep, restorative sleep. He wasn't sure for how long, but the ship's artificial dawn was just starting to brighten the bedroom. "Sleep well?" He asked.

"Mmmmm," she stretched and rolled over, ghosting a kiss against his cheek. "Do you think it's too early to wake Hux?"

"Hmm? No."

"Let's go, then!" She was suddenly wide awake, eyes bright. She rolled out of the bed, pulling him with her.

Her excitement made him almost giddy. "You want to marry me. Now."

"Umm-hmm!" She nodded, beaming at him.

He lifted her off her feet, spun her around and kissed her, a big exuberant kiss that left her breathless and giggling.

"There's one thing I want to do first, though." He sat her on her feet, suddenly serious, and led her into his meditation chamber, where his grandfather's helmet rested on its pristine pedestal alone.

Before confronting Snoke, at Rey's insistence, they had carefully placed the ashes in a container and, in a silent ceremony, released them out an airlock into the void of space, neither speaking but simply allowing the Force to flow through them, freeing whatever was left of the souls the deceased had once been, sending them out on tendrils of power that would, hopefully, give them eternal rest. Kylo had found it both excruciating and comforting.

Since then, the chamber had felt much more soothing, the room itself exuding a profound feeling of peace, his grandfather's presence calm and patient.

Kylo knelt down, pulling Rey with him, and took her hand, placing their joined hands on the side of the helmet. He lowered his head. "Grandfather. We wanted to tell you we…succeeded."

"I knew. I sensed it. You did what I could not until…almost too late. I am…beyond proud." The not-voice floated in the air, caressed them with something beyond empathy; it felt like a balm, healing the still-raw places inside that they had both been ignoring. "You…together you are the balance. You must…guard it. Stay…vigilant."

"We will," they replied together.

"Keep…the sides…in check. Within yourselves and…out there."

They looked at one another, anxiety passing between them. "How?" Kylo asked.

The air felt denser, heavier. "I…am not the one to…ask. I sought to rule but…never really did. But…there is someone who can." The light shifted and coalesced and, just for a millisecond, formed a face, like a holo, but clearer, brighter and instantly recognizable. Then it was gone.

"Mother?" He glanced at Rey again, and she nodded, hopeful.

"If anyone can help, she can. Leading – it has always been her genius." Something shifted, the air felt warmer, the light softer. "But there's…something more?"

Kylo nodded. "Yes. We're going to be married. We humbly request…your blessing. And the blessing of the Force."

Joy radiated around them. "You have it. How could you not? You are already Bound; that is the Force's blessing. Your love for one another…I see it, feel it. It is strong, powerful. It has brought you…victory. But more than that – oneness. Feel it, let it fill you, flow through you. See it, as I do." The voice trembled and floated away.

Kylo looked at Rey; she was shimmering, glowing, luminous and ethereal and bright, and it was all for him; he saw himself through her eyes, saw that he was glowing, too, the same shimmer, tinged with a deeper hue but still luminous. And that brilliant glow flowed around them, connecting them, pulsing between them like a live thing.

She smiled up at her. "So that's what love looks like."

* * *

Hux hadn't had such a fierce hangover since…ever. Not even at his latest promotion ceremony, a raucous event at which he, as the guest of honor, was required to take a shot every time someone addressed him as 'general'.

His head was pounding, his mouth tasted like he had eaten a sack of sand and his stomach was roiling.

He had finally stumbled to his quarters and fallen into bed (managing to remove his uniform and fold it semi-neatly on his footlocker first) at around 0400. It had been blissfully silent and he had fallen instantly asleep. He had been hoping for at least four uninterrupted hours of rest before he had to go to work, but the pounding in his head was relentless, and it seemed to be getting louder.

 _Thud, thud, thud._ He could actually feel it in his teeth.

 _Thud, thud, THUD._ The pounding intensified, dragging him resentfully from the abyss of slumber.

Then he heard a voice shouting, "Hux! You know I can tell you're in there, Hux. Open the door!"

Ren. He groaned and dragged himself out of bed, pulling a robe over his rumpled shorts and undershirt. His head was swimming and he stumbled, clutching the wall. "Hold on, and for kriff's sake stop drubbing on the door," he grumbled. What could Ren want now at – he glanced at his chrono – 0600. Kripes. He hadn't expected their new leader to be so _enthusiastic_. At least, not this early in the morning.

He jabbed the button that opened the door and was confronted by Kylo Ren and the girl, both still in their night clothes, looking ridiculously bright eyed and alert, and smiling wide, almost goofy grins. Blasted Force users with their boundless energy and their stupid, shiny hair. How were they even _awake_?

He scrubbed a hand over his face. "How may I serve you? Your…excellencies?" He really wasn't sure how royal titles worked; military rank and the protocol that went with it he knew like the back of his hand, but imperial honorifics? Not so much.

"Marry us." Kylo said. "Now."

"I…guh…what?" Of all the possibilities, that was not one he had expected.

The girl was practically bouncing on her toes. "Marry us," she repeated. "Kylo says you can do it, as ship commander."

"Yes. Yes, that is correct," Hux nodded, trying to catch up and stop his head from spinning.

"Then do it," Kylo said.

Hux rubbed his throbbing temples. "Now?"

"Yes!" The girl said, eyes sparkling as she rubbed Ren's arm and leaned against him.

"As you wish. Come in. Just…let me get my datapad." He turned, weaving back into the room, scrambling for the small device.

They stepped into his quarters.

"Can I at least brush my teeth and put some clothes on?"

Ren wrinkled his nose. "Please. You smell like a distillery."

"Yes, well, I was up late last night, celebrating our triumph, and I wasn't expecting _guests_ at this hour," Hux snapped.

Ren rolled his eyes. "Go. Be quick about it."

The girl giggled. "So impatient," she said in a voice low enough Hux knew he wasn't meant to hear it.

Ren leaned his head down and nuzzled the girl's ear, whispering something Hux was more than glad he _couldn't_ hear, based on her blushing reaction.

Hux grabbed a fresh uniform and slammed the door to his 'fresher. Once inside he splashed water on his face, brushed his teeth and ran a wet comb through his hair, aggressively smoothing it down, then jerked the clothes over his underthings. He opened the storage cabinet and grabbed a bottle, shaking four headache tabs into his palm. He popped them onto his tongue and let them dissolve, sighing in relief as the throbbing in his forehead receded.

Stepping out, he found the couple groping and nibbling at one another, Ren's hand on the girl's bottom, her fingers tangling in his sleep-tousled hair. Hux cleared his throat loudly and picked up his datapad, his fingers flicking over it to pull up the appropriate forms.

"Type your full names and then sign here," he said. Ren typed for an inordinately long time before handing the datapad back to Hux.

He glanced at the names and only let his eyebrows flick up a bit at what he saw. "You want all of this entered into the archives? You realize it will be part of the permanent, _public_ record?"

"Yes," Ren said.

Hux gave a swift nod and passed the device to the girl. She typed three letters. Ren leaned down and whispered something to her.

"No!" She said, swatting at him.

He gave her a deep, pleading look. She returned it with a stubborn scowl. Hux was aware they were having one of those silent conversations again, and resigned himself to wait.

Finally the girl spoke out loud again. "I told you. I am _not_ typing _that_!"

"I know you're…not comfortable with such things, but it's important to me that it be on record that you had that title before our marriage, that it is yours by right, not just matrimony. Please."

The 'please' seemed to melt her resolve. "Why?" she asked, voice soft.

Hux was struck by how sweet she looked. With her pink cheeks and rosebud mouth and that flustered, adoring look she gave Ren, she was lovely. Lovely…and lethal, he reminded himself. Somehow the contradiction made her all the more terrifying.

"You earned it. And, well, it might be important someday…for our future children."

The girl blushed and ran a hand self-consciously over her flat belly. "Oh. Alright," she said, and typed a few more words onto the form before passing it back to Hux.

"Right, then. I'm turning on the recording now. Kylo Ren, birth name Ben Organa Solo, Galactic Emperor, Master of the Knights of Ren, Last Prince of Alderaan, descendent of Queen Amidala of Naboo, Supreme Governor of Birren – " _Birren?_ Hux raised his eyebrows; he hoped Cressa never found out about that – "do you acknowledge that you enter into this union willingly?"

"More than willingly," He said, eyes never leaving the girl.

"And, ah, Rey of Jakku, Galactic Empress, do you acknowledge that you enter into this union willingly?"

She beamed up at Ren. "Oh, yes, yes!"

"Are there tokens to symbolize the union?"

"What?"

"Rings? Do you have rings?"

"We do." The girl…the _Empress_ , he mentally corrected himself…opened her palm and handed Hux what looked like…

"Are those _o-rings_?"

She nodded.

His eyes widened. "Are they…off the ship? A missing o-ring in the wrong place could cause a _catastrophic_ failure…"

She rolled her eyes. "Honestly, General, give me _some_ credit. I got them from Supply. I wouldn't remove a critical component from a ship I'm currently flying through space on."

He sighed in relief and handed the larger o-ring to the girl, the smaller to Ren. They were torus-shaped loops of a thermoplastic elastomer, strong but slightly flexible, small, relatively flat and covered with a carbon coating that left them a deep matte black. "You may exchange rings."

They held up their hands and slipped the rings on each other's fingers at the same time, lost in one another's eyes.

"Alright, put your fingerprint here," Hux held the datapad out to Ren. He placed his index finger on the indicated box almost reverently.

Hux tapped to save it, then held it out to the girl. "And here, for you."

Face glowing, she laid her finger on the datapad. "I love you," she whispered, never taking her eyes off Ren as Hux pulled the device away.

"I love you," Ren replied, staring at the girl with dark, ravenous eyes, pulling her against his body and kissing her deeply. Hux had the distinct impression they had once again forgotten he was in the room.

He waited what he thought was an appropriate interval, staring at the ceiling, the floor, his fingernails, then cleared his throat. They untangled themselves and looked at him.

"Right, well, that does it. Congratulations. I'll file the forms as soon as I go to the bridge which…I may as well do now since it's obvious I won't be getting any more sleep. That reminds me…perhaps you might wish to move to larger, more luxurious quarters? Something more befitting your new status? Perhaps something on one of the higher levels of the ship? There are several lovely, large suites up there."

Ren looked up, gave a nod. "Why, yes, I suppose that would be…proper. Make the arrangements. Thank you, General. Thank you very much."

"I could give you the codes now, have some droids collect your effects. You could be moved within the hour?" He said hopefully.

"Now? No, no it can wait."

Hux sighed. Ah, well. It was worth a try. "Very well. I'll be in my office."

"Good day, Armitage." And with that, Ren swept the girl up in his arms and carried her, giggling, out of Hux's quarters.

* * *

Rey squealed as he tossed her on the bed. "So that's all there is to it? We're actually married?"

"We are indeed." He sat beside her, taking her hands in his, running his thumb over her ring, lifting her hand and kissing her ring finger, then each of the others. "You are mine forever."

"Am I really?"

"What?"

"Yours forever?"

"Of course. And now, I intend to claim my bride," he said, his voice dripping with a promise so intense it was almost a threat.

He crawled up her body, kissing his way up to her mouth. He slipped the straps of her sleep top down over her shoulders, slowly, reverently. She trailed her index finger down his cheek, down his shoulder, down his chest. Curling small fingers into the hem of his shirt, she lifted it up, up, over his head, leaning into him, inhaling against his chest.

He pulled her top over her head, then kissed his way down her throat, sliding his tongue over the soft curve of her breast, taking a nipple in his mouth and sucking, savoring the taste of her skin, the pebbled texture of her nipple against his tongue, his other hand massaging the other breast, suckling and squeezing in tandem, making her whimper and moan.

He felt her hands roving down his chest, untying the drawstring in his sleep pants and pushing them down. He mirrored her actions, pushing her shorts down over her hips until they were lying there facing each other in nothing but their underclothes.

He leaned back and looked at her, drinking her in with his eyes. "You are so beautiful."

She fluttered her lashes, then looked at him. "So are you."

"No one has ever called me that before."

"But you are." He leaned into her touch as she ran gentle fingers through his hair. "Beautiful," she said, moving her hand to his face, tracing his brows, his cheekbones, his long nose, the pale line of his scar…his lips. "Beautiful. " Her voice was so soft and sincere and full of awe. She slid her finger between his parted lips. He groaned, closed his eyes and sucked as she ran her other hand over the hard muscles and the numerous scars on his chest. "So beautiful."

Her gentle touches and her simple declarations were making him ache with longing. He had to touch her. He ran his hand down her side, over her stomach, inside her panties. She was so wet, the thin silky garment practically sopping with her arousal. He lifted himself to his knees and slid it down, leaving a smear of wetness on her thigh. He could feel a sudden wave of self-consciousness from her. He dipped his head and licked away the trail of dampness. "No, don't be embarrassed. I adore your eagerness. Your fervor. It drives me mad."

"Really?"

He took her hand, pulled it to his throbbing cock. "What do you think?"

She laughed, that soft little chuckle he loved, and started stroking him, pushing his underwear down and grasping him, her hand moving up and down rapidly.

"Stop," he choked out. "Or I'll come in your hand. I need to be inside you. Now." He grabbed her thighs and jerked her toward him, suddenly desperate, and slid inside her with a low groan.

She cried out, slamming her head back against the bed, digging her heels into the sheets and thrusting back against him, as desperate and demanding as he was. "Closer," she hissed, pushing herself up on her elbows, her eyes wild, frenzied when they met his.

"Yes," he said, the word turning to a gasp as he pulled her hips closer, thrusting himself deeper into her.

"Need. You. Closer." Each word was punctuated by a snap of her hips. She was utterly lost to lust and sensation, frantic, wild – for him. He reveled in it, driving himself into her harder, determined to give her what she needed, and reached down, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her to him, shifting so that he was sitting on the edge of the bed with her on top of him. Their chests were pressed together, her arms twined around him, one hand tangled in his hair, the other digging into his shoulder, her legs spread over his thighs. He was thrusting up as she ground down. He snaked his arms around her, ran them up her back and placed a hand on each shoulder, pushing her down, burying himself deeper and deeper inside her. She wrapped her legs around his waist and grabbed a handful of his hair as they lost themselves in each other.

"K…Kylo. Oh, Force. Oh, Yes, yes, yes," she was panting, sobbing, keening as he pulled her closer, closer, he couldn't get her close enough, his hands clutching her flesh, his lips seeking hers. He wanted to merge into her, fuse with her – he felt her, his mind intertwined with hers. He wasn't sure whose hands were whose, whether he was kissing or being kissed, whether he was inside of her or she was inside of him. He knew she felt it too, that it was as heady and intoxicating for her as it was for him, as everything fell away and there was only them and the Force, swirling and singing around them, lifting them higher and higher. His release, or hers – both – washed over him, and he had never felt anything so intense. He heard her scream, heard himself groan, as they gave in to whatever this was.

It wasn't until they landed on the mattress with a hard thump that he realized they had been levitating several feet in the air. They lay there, panting, arms wrapped around one another.

"What was that?" She finally said.

"Marriage," he whispered, holding her as close as he could.

"Well, if that's marriage, I think I'm going to like it!"

"I intend to make _sure_ you like it," he said, his lips brushing against her ear, his voice low.

"I…I don't know much about being married."

He leaned in, kissed her, gentle but full of intensity. "What is there to know?"

He felt apprehension, doubt flickering across the bond. He leaned down, peering into her eyes. "You don't regret it, do you?" _Oh please, don't regret it._

"What? Regret - No! Never! I love you."

"I _will_ give you a proper wedding, I swear it."

"It's not about the wedding." She took his hand in hers, pressed it to her cheek.

"Then what?"

"It's just….on Jakku, people didn't really get married. So I don't know what to expect. What to do."

"Surely there were couples? Families?"

She shrugged. "There were different kinds of - joinings. People came together, sometimes for a few months, sometimes for a few years…sometimes until they grew old or died. Usually for convenience – one party had a dwelling, another knew how to repair things. Or one kept the other to do menial tasks, or for, umm, pleasure, in exchange for food."

He pulled her closer, stroking a hand down her back, wishing he could soothe away the hurt of her childhood. Was nothing on that Force-forsaken planet not a transaction? "That was all it ever was? A business deal?"

"Those were the lucky ones; they had a choice." Her voice darkened. "Some people…they traded their daughters as 'brides'; sold them for portions as soon as they had their first moon blood, but when the men tired of them, they tossed them out to scavenge and fend for themselves. That was the cruelest kind of arrangement."

He frowned. He was beginning to see why her concept of 'marriage' was not exactly positive, and he didn't quite know how to reassure her. "But surely some joined because they cared for one another?"

"I suppose. A few of the more well-off went to Tuanal and had their unions blessed by the Church of the Force, but often as not that was more about protecting their possessions than it was about love. And even then, that didn't mean they mightn't split later, if they got tired of one another or found someone new.""

He looked at her, and he felt like his heart might break. Had she never seen real love, real marriage? His parents might have had a myriad of problems ( _might have?_ ), but their marriage had been born of an epic love; even he knew that. They had loved one another with the intensity of a thousand suns. Maybe that was part of their problem; their love burned so hot it exploded. Or perhaps he had killed it, as he had killed so many things. He sighed. But not this; this he would nurture and tend like a delicate flower. "Oh, my love. This is nothing like that. This - it means that we are one - body, mind and soul. It means the entire galaxy will know that I will love you forever. It means that everything that is mine is yours, my possessions and titles, yes, but more than that…my life, my heart, my soul. It means that I will never, ever leave you. It means if we have children, they will inherit all that is mine, as well as all that is yours. Oh – and it means, if you want to, you may use my name as your own."

"Do…do you want me to?"

He didn't want to push; it was her choice. But he _did_ want her to. He longed for her to take his name, to announce to the galaxy that she belonged to him. But he would not insist. "I do. I would be honored. But only if you wish."

She smiled up at him, her face glowing, tears glistening on her eyelashes. "Oh, Kylo, of course I want to. I…I've never had a last name. For you to want to give me yours…it makes me feel like I _belong_. I never thought anyone could give me that."

He leaned down and pressed gentle kisses on her eyelids, kissing away the tears. "You do belong. To me. With me. And I to you."

She smiled, unable to speak at first. Finally, she found her voice. "So, am I Mrs. Ren or Mrs. Solo?"

"I suppose, properly, you would be Rey Organa-Solo, Empress of Ren and Princess of Alderaan."

She laughed, flustered. "So many names. It's confusing."

"I'll make it simpler then. Just one word. Wife. You're my wife."

She smiled. "I like that. Husband." She leaned in, brushed a kiss against his lips and settled in his arms. "I love you."

"And I love you."

They drifted to sleep, feeling safe and content as the ship slipped through hyperspace.

* * *

"Cleared to land, platform three-two-seven," a voice said.

"Copy. Cleared to land, platform three-two-seven," Rey repeated as she smoothly maneuvered the command shuttle onto a landing platform that seemed to be suspended in mid-air. "So there's no ground here?" she asked once the lifters had touched down.

"No. It's a gas giant. They mine Tibanna gas from the planet, Bespin, below, but they live up here, 59,000 kilometers above the core. There're also several casinos and luxury resorts and a thriving organ transplant and prosthetic industry. It's privately owned by Lando Calrissian and his family. Independent, neutral, and with a treasury larger than most small planets - and some medium-sized ones. They call it Cloud City."

"What a pretty name. Cloud City." She smiled, unfastened her harness and hurried to the ramp, Kylo following. "It's stunning!" She said, taking in the view. "Hey, I've seen this! I found a postcard once, stuck up above some lieutenant's bunk on one of the crashed Star Destroyers. It was a picture of this place and it said 'wish you were here'. I always did – it looked like something out of a dream, all pale blue and white. And now I am here." She beamed at him. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. It is indeed a beautiful place."

She heard the tension in his voice, felt pain underneath the words. She looked back at the strange towers that looked like they were floating. "You came here when you were…younger?"

He nodded. "We visited Lando a few times. He and…he was an old family friend."

She took his hand and squeezed as they walked down the ramp. There was a lot more there, she knew, but she also knew this wasn't the time to talk about it. This Lando person knew they were coming, had agreed to host this meeting – but was that only because he felt he had no choice? He had been Han's friend; there was no knowing how he might react. Rey put a hand on her lightsaber as a tall, sophisticated man in a blue cape, followed by three stunning young people and an aging cyborg, came through the platforms's gate. He stopped, eyeing Kylo carefully. The two men stared at one another for what seemed like a long time. Rey stood very still, studying the man, trying to pick up on his intentions, anticipate his actions.

His short black hair was salted with gray, but his skin was as smooth as his voice when he spoke. "It's just the two of you? No Stormtroopers? No garrison?"

Rey tightened her grip on her lightsaber.

"It's just us," Kylo said.

The older man nodded; Rey could feel the thoughts swirling around him, clicking into place. Then he broke into a grin. "I never thought I'd see you again."

"Nor did I," Kylo said, still wary.

"No. I mean…I never thought I'd see _you_ again, Ben Solo."

"I'm not…"

"You're no longer the man who murdered my friend, that's obvious. Whatever name you choose to go by. Ben Solo. Kylo Ren. _Emperor Ren_ , according to my sources. So. Welcome." And with that Lando strode forward and pulled Kylo into an embrace, patting his back before stepping away, a hand on his shoulder. "It's _good_ to see you." Lando turned, then, and focused all his charm on Rey. "And who do we have here?" he asked.

Kylo took her hand, pulling her forward. "This is Empress Rey."

Lando gave a graceful, formal bow, swishing his cape over his shoulder, then held out a hand.

Rey rolled her eyes and held out her right hand for a proper handshake. "Never mind that. You can call me Rey."

"I am Baron Administrator Lando Calrissian. And you can call me _anytime_ ," he said. He took her hand, but instead of a handshake, he leaned down and kissed the back of it. It tickled.

Rey giggled and pulled her hand away.

"Empress Rey, may I present my children, Leedo, Lora, and Linton." He turned to Kylo. "I know you remember them. I'm sorry their mother can't be here. She's on a three month sabacc cruise in the core."

Kylo nodded to them, a memory flickering across his face, across the bond: ' _The lower levels are best for seek and find. Daddy doesn't like us playing down here, though, so you have to promise not to tell. Swear? Pinky swear? Okay, come on.' A smooth caramel colored hand taking a soft pink one and pulling as they ran down a dark, angular corridor_. _'You have to count first, Lindon, you're the youngest. Go, Ben, hide. Hurry!' Running down endless corridors, considering and rejecting different alcoves and nooks as hiding places, then turning a corner and…the whole world spinning, a shadowy figure in the distance, dark and almost familiar. Heart pounding, throat tight, eyes stinging as he ran and ran until he found the lift and pounded on the button, needing to get out-out-out immediately. 'Benny, where ya goin'?' 'I…I don't want to play anymore. I want my mother.'_

Rey rubbed her hand up and down his arm, calming him. _Shhh. It's okay. I saw it…I've seen it before…when I was at Maz's, the first time I touched this._ The fingers of her other hand indicated the lightsaber on her belt.

He took several deep breaths. _I'm fine. Just a memory._

The tallest of the young men stepped forward. "My lady. If there is anything… _anything_ …I can do for you, please. Let me know. I'd be honored to show you Cloud City; perhaps you would enjoy a sunset cloud car tour? The _view_ is _magnificent_." His eyes roved over Rey's figure in a way that made it clear he wasn't talking about the sunset.

Kylo pulled Rey against his side with a possessive arm, practically engulfing her in his robes and glaring at Leedo. "If there is anything my _wife_ needs, _I'll_ be the one to provide it," he said, a bit of a snarl in his voice, a dark wave of threat wafting off of him.

Leedo took a step back, giving a respectful nod. "Whoa. Sorry. I didn't mean anything by it."

"Wife?" Lando's eyebrows shot up. "Well. You are indeed a man now." He looked at Rey and smiled. "And a lucky man indeed. My lady, would you like to freshen up a bit? Change clothes? The Resistance delegation arrives in a few hours, and I expect your husband and I need to make some preparations."

"Yes, that would be nice," Rey said as she detached herself from Kylo's grip, sending soothing thoughts across the bond. _You know I'm yours, love. No need to frighten your old friends._

 _I know. I know. And I don't blame him. But I did not like the way he_ _ **looked**_ _at you._

"Lora, show Empress Rey to her suite, and bring her back to the conference room when she's ready," Lando said, waving his daughter over, then turning back to Kylo. "I assume you'll need a meeting space?"

Kylo nodded. "I…we…" he indicated Rey, "We need to meet with General…with my mother…privately first. Right away."

Lando nodded, not remarking on Kylo's choice of words. "Good, then. I'll bring her to the conference room when she arrives and have the rest of their delegation shown to their lodgings. And yours? Will there be a First Order delegation joining us?"

"A small one. Less than ten in all. They'll take a shuttle down later tonight."

Lando nodded again as Lora hooked her arm through Rey's and led her down a long, curving corridor, all bright white and soft recessed lighting.

"Leedo was devastated that you're married." Lora leaned in and whispered in Rey's ear. "Gotta admit, so am I." Rey blushed. The Calrissians were the flirtiest family she had ever met. "I coulda told Leedo not to bother, though. You practically glow when you look at Ben – and why not? He calls you Empress, and _look_ at him. He is sin _itself_. That mouth…well, I'm not sure if I'm more jealous of him or you."

Rey turned an even deeper shade of red and laughed.

"Well, anyway. We've put you in the finest guest apartment we have. It has a fully stocked kitchen and bar, and if you need anything special like clothing, just ring for a droid and it'll be there within minutes. We have _everything_. Here we are – you're on the highest level, with the most gorgeous views of the sunrise and sunset. Plus, a big round bed. I bet you and His Imperial Hotness will enjoy _that_."

"Thank you," Rey said, her cheeks and neck stained red now. Still, she liked Lora's directness. She had never met anyone quite like her, and she sensed that Lora was someone who could be a friend.

* * *

Thank you to my wonderful beta, Perry_Downing, who read this chapter through her tears. You are the best, and our conversations really helped me through a very hard few days. Thank you, my dear friend.

Next chapter: What we all need – Kylo/Ben and his mama, together.

I hope I did okay with Kylo's 'titles'. I think he would want to claim everything he is and was, for Rey and their future offspring. The Birren title is a _Bloodline_ reference, and while it doesn't say the title would go to him, it could have after Lady Carise lost it and Leia had already declined it.

O-rings: One of the most common aviation components. They're round mechanical gaskets, used to create flexible seals. They come in every size imaginable. So when I was trying to come up with what to use as spur-of-the-moment wedding rings, this is what I thought of. And of course, scavenger Rey would know all about them. And a missing or failed o-ring can absolutely cause catastrophic failure on a spacecraft. (It was an o-ring failure that was determined to be the cause of the Space Shuttle Challenger explosion in 1986, although those o-rings were approximately 12 feet in diameter, so, much larger than wedding-ring size.)

Platform 327 was where the Millennium Falcon landed in Cloud City in ESB. Details about Bespin from Wookiepedia. Lando's family is totally made up. The fact that he would still be good-looking and smooth as silk has to be true, though.

Thank you for reading, and I hope this brought some escape and enjoyment and happiness.


	50. Reconciliation

Reconciliation

* * *

The Calrissians would escort Rey to the conference room and then go to their apartments. That was Lando's plan. This reunion was, after all, personal. None of their business. And Lando knew how to mind his own business.

But when the conference room doors opened and he took in the scene - the long, shiny white table, the high-backed white chairs with their creamy upholstery, Kylo at the opposite end of the room, dark and menacing even without the mask - he dropped his face into his palm. This would never do. "Lora, Lindon, get this table and chairs out of here. Leedo, find Lobot and take a couple droids and go get those low couches your mother bought for the lounge in our apartments – you know the ones? Bright orange with turquoise flowers? Yeah, get those and a plastisteel coffee table in neon pink or yellow or something. Get this stuff out of here. Why has no one redecorated this room in over three decades? And Lora, order some drinks, something fun - those lavender frothy things your mother likes - and hors d'oeuvres. Lots of hors oeuvres."

There was a chorus of 'yes, daddies' as the young Calrissians scurried to do as their father said, whisking chairs away.

"Benny…err…Your Imperial Majesty, sir, I'm sorry, sir," Lindon, the youngest, said as he practically snatched the chair out from under Kylo.

"What the…"

Lando adjusted his cape. "Trust me, kid. You mother walks in and sees this set up, and you sitting there dressed like that – it won't be good. For any of us."

"Why?"

Lando sighed. "It's a long story, kid, one for another time. Preferably when everyone has had a few stiff drinks. But trust me. Just…trust me." He ran a hand over his close-cropped salt-and-pepper hair. He was getting too damn old for this.

Kylo looked at Rey. She shrugged. "I dunno. Just go with it. He seems to know what he's doing. Plus…fancy hors d'ouvres!" She grinned, remembering some of the treats he had introduced her to on the Finalizer. "I bet there'll be those little sea creatures wrapped in Gamorrean bacon. And hot peppers stuffed with blue cheese. I love those! "

Kylo sighed, stood aside and let the young Calrissians redecorate the room, clearly perplexed. "Why does he think my mother would have an issue with an outdated dining room table?"

Rey shrugged again, her attention on the trays of food several serving droids were bringing in. "Who knows? Being stylish seems very important to him." She inhaled deeply and peered at the food. "Ooh, look! Little balls of meat in some kind of spicy sauce! And those dark purple fruits you like!" She grabbed a handful, popped one in her mouth, then another in his, her eyes teasing. He snapped his teeth, trying to nibble her fingers as she fed him the fruit, and they seemed to forget about everything else.

Lando smiled. Young love was an excellent distraction. The redecorating was completed with the smooth efficiency he prided himself on, and when he left, the room looked bright and fresh and modern, and most importantly, _different._ Maybe a little colorful for his taste - he adored his wife, but he could never understand her love for such brilliant colors when it came to décor; he preferred monotone white, with perhaps some silver accents - it was a clean, elegant look and he had never seen any reason to change it.

Until now.

* * *

Kylo was standing by the window, looking out, barely seeing the soft, shifting pastels of the clouds. He wished he hadn't eaten so much of that fruit; it sat in the pit of his stomach like a pile of rocks now. Rey put a hand on his back, firm and reassuring. It helped. A little.

He turned when the door slid open and his mother walked in. Not the General, not the Senator, not the Princess.

His mother.

She looked small and tired and faded, like life had drained all the color out of her.

His throat tightened and his stomach contracted.

They just stood there, regarding one another, silent. Rey had taken his hand, her touch steady and comforting.

"It has been…a long time." He said.

She nodded. "It has." Her voice was different – a little lower in pitch, tinged with a sadness that he guessed never went away – but it was also the same. It was the voice that had sung 'Mirrorbright' over and over as she rocked him, even though he was three or four and by all rights far too old to be rocked to sleep; the voice that had told him to finish his blue milk before he left the table; the voice that had explained why the sky was blue on some planets and pink on others or sometimes nearly black (scattered light, different-sized molecules, the composition of planetary dust, the thickness of the atmosphere…).

He blinked away the past. "I…appreciate your…assistance. It was…it meant a great deal."

"You're…welcome."

"And thank you for…coming here." He said, struggling to keep the quiver from his voice.

His mother nodded again, looked at the ceiling, the floor…the incongruous bright floral pattern on the couches, a perplexed look flickering over her features.

More silence.

Rey cleared her throat. "Umm. I…I can leave if…"

"No!" Two voices, urgent and insistent, cut her off.

He took a step forward; Leia flinched and stepped back. There was trepidation in her eyes; they scanned his frame, and he had the distinct impression she was checking to see if he was armed. He was glad he had decided to leave his lightsaber in the suite.

"Please. Don't be afraid of me, mother," he said, trying to make his voice as soft as possible

"I'm not sure how not to. I've been terrified of you since you were twelve."

He winced. He had known it, seen it – the fear. It was why she had sent him away. But it hurt, to hear it so directly. He clutched Rey's hand.

His mother looked away. "I shouldn't have said that. It was…uncalled for. I just…I'm not sure how to do this. I don't know who you are. When I look at you…I see my little boy, all grown up, so tall and handsome. " Her eyes, warm and brown and glowing like a still pond in the fall, roved over his face, as if she was drinking it in, trying to memorize every detail. Then her eyes hardened, all the soft light draining away. "But I also see the man who slaughtered innocents mercilessly, who wiped out entire villages, who murdered his own father. I can't reconcile it, I don't know how…I don't even know what to call you."

He fought back the wave of despair and guilt and self-loathing that threatened to drown him. Had he expected this to be easy? Had he thought they could just pretend none of it had happened? She was right. He had done those things, and more. He wondered how much she knew; only a fraction of it, he was certain. But that was the past. He wasn't that man anymore. He wasn't her little boy anymore either, but he wasn't _that_ man. He wasn't sure how he had ever let himself be turned into that. He had to show her; prove to her that she had nothing to fear.

"You have every right to feel that way, to say that, and more." His lip quivered. "You are correct. I'm not that boy anymore. But since Rey, I'm also not…what I became. I'm…neither one. I'm _me_ , Mother. Look at me. See me." He took a step closer, ducking down so his face was closer to hers, begging her with his eyes. " _See_ me."

"That's what you really, truly want?"

He nodded, unable to force out words, unsure where she was going.

"I can…when you were a baby I could tell…what you were thinking." She reached out as if to touch his cheek. Her hand was trembling. He felt her, brushing against his consciousness with a touch that was light as a feather, gentle as a kiss on his forehead.

He gasped. "I…I had forgotten…"

"What?"

"That it came from you. That it doesn't have to hurt."

"Hurt? I'd never do anything that…" Understanding bloomed on her face, followed by anguish. "He hurt you?"

Rey took a step forward, placing herself in front of him like a shield. Anger flared across her face. "Of course he hurt him. He _tortured_ him. Repeatedly. But he won't anymore." Her voice was grim. "I made sure of that."

Leia squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. "Oh, Ben. I didn't know."

He didn't speak, just waited.

She met his eyes, held his gaze. "I…I haven't done this since you could speak in sentences." She stilled, her breath slowing, her eyes unfocusing slightly. Something swirled between them as she looked, searched.

 _'_ _Mother, please don't go.' A sigh, a soft hand on his cheek. 'I have to, sweetie. I have work. We talked about this. You're seven now; you said you would be fine with Threepio.' He looked down at his shoes – scuffed brown leather with frayed laces. 'I know but…I had that dream again. The one where I'm falling and I know if I hit bottom the monster will eat me.' A furrowed brow, a bitten lip. A comm whisked from a pocket. 'Han, can you watch Ben today? I know he was going to stay here and do lessons with Threepio but…he had the dream again. Yes, the same one. I don't know.' A pause. 'I can't. They're going to call a vote today; I have to be there. Oh, please. You're just puttering around with the Falcon. Alright, I'll bring him to the flight line.' A too-bright smile. 'You get to help Daddy and Uncle Chewie today. Won't that be fun?' He nodded, plastered on a fake smile; somewhere in his mind the monster laughed. 'Han Solo can't protect you, boy.'_

He stood, transfixed, staring into her eyes, watching them as they flicked from side to side, the tiniest movements.

Rey watched, silent and still. Kylo felt her presence and clung to it as the memories came, faster and faster.

 _Luke had been so proud of him. He had passed his trials, moved on to the next stage of training. Ben had carefully shielded his thoughts; hidden the fact that he hadn't defeated the dark side in that cave. He had embraced it. Because the monster told him the things they wouldn't, revealed all the secrets. Promised that he would inherit all that his grandfather had let slip away._

 _'_ _But I can't do that. I don't want to!' He backed away from his master, horror and disgust on his face. The monster smiled, a terrifying grimace. 'It is required, boy. An initiation. A simple task, really. The same one your grandfather performed, only so much easier. The galaxy must be cleansed of the Jedi. You said you understood this. You said you were committed to our cause. Now when I require action, you dare defy me? You, puny, pathetic excuse for a boy. I'm offering you your legacy, your birthright. But only if you are strong enough to claim it. If not, I'll find someone else who will obey and you can go back to…oh, well, I doubt they'd take you back now. Not when they sense the darkness within you.'_

 _He had failed, again. Let his uncle escape. But he had carried out the rest of the task. That had to count for something. His master held out a hand and pain seared into his skin. He heard screams and knew they must be his, but they sounded far away, detached. He wondered, as he lost consciousness, where Luke had run to. He wondered if the little girl had survived. He wondered if he would, and wasn't sure whether to hope the answer was yes or no._

He felt each thing his mother found: the pain, the fear, the _rejection_ , the regret. And yet – it wasn't unpleasant. In fact, it was soothing, like a cool cloth on his forehead. It felt good; it felt like relief.

 _His father's hand on his cheek as the light left his eyes; as he fell and fell. Father._ What have I done _? How could I have thought... The pain not only didn't stop but blossomed into something so huge he couldn't see any way out of it. No, that wasn't true. He did see one way out. A single step and he could follow him. He stared down into the abyss, felt it open up below him, heard it call to him. It would be so_ easy _. Just step off. Just fall. Into darkness. Into nothingness. That,_ that _would stop the pain. But he couldn't do it. He was too weak. Then he felt a new kind of pain, the kind that was more immediate and physical, as a bowcaster bolt hit him in the side. He dropped to his knees on the bridge, wailing in despair and rage that for the first time in his memory, Chewbacca had_ missed _._

 _Rey, facing him in the snow, brilliant and fearless and magnetic. A tiny spark of hope once again blooming in his chest._

 _Rey, swinging the pipe, releasing him from his former master's hold. Both of them, hands outstretched, Force lightning flickering from their fingertips as the monster crumpled to the floor._

Leia broke the gaze and stumbled back, breathless. When she looked at him, tears were streaming down her cheeks, but her eyes were glowing. "Ben."

When she said the name, it felt right. "Mommy," he whispered.

"Oh, Ben." She did touch his face then, with both hands, like she was trying to be sure he was real. "I'm so sorry."

" _You're_ sorry? No, I…I've done terrible things. You don't know, you don't _know_ the things I've done. You only saw fragments. Father…" His voice broke.

"And you regret it. I felt that, oh, my baby, I felt it, regret and shame so deep I couldn't find the bottom. I felt like I was drowning in it – like _you_ were drowning in it. I know, I know you feel like you're sinking in that every day."

"I do. Oh, Force, Mother, I do. I…I didn't want to, please know I never wanted to do that, I didn't. I ran from it. For _years_. It was supposed to stop the pain, extinguish the light, make me stronger, let me fully embrace the dark side…" He nearly choked on a sob. "But it only made the pain worse, it made _everything_ worse. I knew it was wrong, vile, and I did it anyway. I did it anyway." His voice broke. "To try to please _him_. The Supreme Leader." He spat.

"I thought maybe, maybe it would be enough. That I could finally meet his expectations, prove to him that I wasn't worthless. I thought it would stop the _feelings_. They tore me apart. He told me it was because I was _weak_ , but now…now I think it was because I was fighting myself, going against my instincts." He shook his head. "I was so stupid. I thought…no, I didn't think. Not for myself. I let him think for me. He planted thoughts in my head, doubts, resentments, and they grew and grew. Because _I_ let them. I fed them and nurtured them. He told me I would never be able to fully understand the dark side until I severed the attachments I still had to my former life. To _Ben_. And he made me hate Father. Took little slights and built them into huge offenses; made every tiny fault seem intentional, malicious. And then he told me it was _just_ , that it was simply a repayment for Father's rejection…"

She started to speak but he held up a hand. "I know. I know he cared. He didn't understand me but…I know he loved me. I know you both did. Oh Mother. I knew…knew you felt it. I had nightmares…of what you must have felt…"

"I had them too, only it was me, it was my hand that…I asked him to go. To bring you home. It was my fault. It was _all_ my fault. I should have protected you, sheltered you, _saved_ you. But I was so busy saving the rest of the galaxy, I lost you. And I lost Han. And I will always regret that."

"You couldn't know."

"I should have. I should have known, I should have seen. I felt Snoke's presence, lurking…I didn't know what it was at first just…darkness. Threat. But as time went on it felt more like an entity. I knew something was trying to…to get to you. I saw it on your face, the strain, the fear. Your eyes – so dark and haunted. I knew something was wrong but I didn't know how to fight it. I talked to Luke about it, about the dark side and he…he thought he could teach you to handle it, resist it. Like he did. But I…I think he only had the tiniest taste of the power of the dark side. And in the end Va…our father saved him."

It was the first time he had ever heard her acknowledge his grandfather in that way, as _family_ , however awkwardly. He managed a small smile.

She went on. "So I think, I think he had no idea the depth, the strength, the vast, bottomless pit that is the power of the dark side. He skimmed the surface. Snoke delved into the depths and used that with you." Large silent tears were rolling down her cheeks, matching his.

"It wasn't your fault. I made the choice. I should have been smarter, stronger…"

"You were a child. You didn't stand a chance."

He shook his head. "Not when I decided. I knew what the dark side was, and I _chose_ it. And I continued to choose it. You are not to blame."

"I am."

"You're not."

"I am, and I'm so sorry."

"No, I'm the one who should be apologizing. Oh, Mother, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, and that will never be enough but I am. I am." He took a tentative step toward her, and she held out her arms, hopeful, inviting. He stepped forward, slowly at first and then in a rush, collapsing into her arms. "Oh, Mother," he inhaled against her shoulder…she smelled like soap and starch and a hint of starship fuel. She smelled like home. His breath came in great gasping sobs as he draped himself over her tiny shoulders and let her stroke his hair and pat his back and murmur soothing little nonsense words while deep sobs shook him.

They were all weeping now. Despite the fact that he engulfed his mother, he still somehow felt like a little boy. Rey was sort of squashed between them, because Kylo refused to let go of her, even for a minute, and she realized she was crying too.

"There, hush, hush," Leia soothed, "You came back. I got you back. Shhhh."

They stood there, clinging to each other and sobbing for a long time, until Rey finally extricated herself.

"Alright, alright, get off," she said, wiping her cheeks with her hands, somehow pulling all of them together with the gesture.

Leia looked at her. "Rey." She smiled as she said it, a warm, remorseful smile.

"General," Rey said, looking at her feet.

"Call me Leia, please. I think we're past titles," she said, glancing at the rings on their fingers.

Rey nodded. "Leia."

Kylo pulled Rey closer, wrapping an arm around her. "We got married three days ago," he said. "But we have been…one…for much longer. We have a…"

"Force Bond. Maz told me. And I can see how much you love one another. I'm glad. So glad you found each other. Three days. So right after the…battle?"

They nodded, looking slightly abashed. "I know maybe the timing seems _odd_ …"Rey started.

Lea smiled. "No. No, it doesn't seem odd at all. We…Han and I…got married on Endor, just after the battle ended there." Kylo closed his eyes, a wave of pain threatening to engulf him until he felt his mother's hand on his arm, soft and soothing. "And my…your…Anakin and Padme married right after the Battle of Geonosis. It…seems to be a family tradition."

She turned to Rey. "Rey, sweetheart, you felt like you were supposed to be part of my family from the moment I saw you on the ramp of the _Falcon_. I didn't know why then. Now I do. I'm so sorry we left you, forgot you, when you were little. We didn't mean to, but there's no excuse."

Rey shook her head. "I know. It's forgotten, truly. And…I think everything happened the way it was supposed to." She looked up at Kylo, eyes glowing with love.

Leia gathered herself, stood straighter and arranged her face in more placid lines, the air of command settling back over her as naturally as breathing. "Let's sit, shall we?"

They settled onto the couches, Kylo and Rey on one, sides and thighs and hands touching, Leia opposite, across the cheery yellow coffee table Lando had brought in.

She crossed her arms over her chest. "Now. Could you explain to me why I've been addressed as 'Your Imperial Highness' no less than seven times since I've been here? Because I do not think everyone here is so thoroughly clueless about protocol that they're just mangling my former title."

Kylo looked at his boots. "Oh. That."

She raised her eyebrows. "Yes, _that_."

Rey held out a hand. "It's not what you think. Well, it sort of is but…it isn't. Show her, Kylo."

He peered at his wife. His wife – it still sent a little thrill through him to think of her like that. She gave him an encouraging nod. He took a deep breath and pulled a datapad from the edge of the sofa. He laid it down gingerly, making sure the edges were parallel with the edges of the coffee table. Then he placed his two index fingers on the corners and slid it across the table to his mother. "We have a plan," he said, and he felt like he had as a little boy handing her his school reports. "Please, read the whole thing before you say anything."

"We worked really hard on it, for three days." Rey added. "We only stopped to eat and…uh, sleep." Her face flushed a bright crimson, and he felt the same heat spreading over his own face.

But his mother smiled, an almost _approving_ smile, as she reached out and took the datapad, swiping a finger across it so it came to life. File after file appeared, detailed, organized…logical. She began reading, surprise and uncertainty flickering over her features, but also approval. The more she read, the more impressed she appeared.

She looked up. "You were listening to me, all those years."

He smiled. "Yes, Mother."

She looked at him with pride in her eyes. "Okay," she said. "This could work."

"See?" Rey said. "I told you it was good. I told you she would like it."

He looked down, squeezed her knee. "You inspired me, love. Guided me. I couldn't have done it without your help."

"We're open to input," Rey said, looking at Leia. "We've never done anything like this before. We…need a teacher." She glanced at Kylo, and he nodded.

"Well, there are a few things I'd tweak."

Three hours and many cups of caf later, they were finished 'tweaking'. Kylo rubbed his eyes. "This is what you did? All those long days? All those late nights?"

Leia nodded. "I tried to get as much done as I could when you were sleeping, but, well, you didn't sleep much, and there was always so much to do." She looked at them. "It will only get harder from here."

He looked down at Rey, basking in her love and pride, swimming in her unshakeable belief in him, relishing her thoughts: _We can do this, my love._ You _can do this._ He let her fill in all the empty places that had been left, let her light and warmth flood all the dark corners, and felt a surge of confidence.

He looked at his mother. "We can do this," he repeated.

* * *

"So you're going along with this? You're going to, what, rule the galaxy together?'

She narrowed her eyes. She was glad she had never trusted herself with a lightsaber. Luke would be missing another appendage for that. "Not rule. _Govern_. It's very different, and they were very careful, very specific about that word. "

Luke remained stubborn. "Semantics. It's the same thing."

"No. It isn't. Did you even _read_ it?" She unwound her braid from her head and started brushing out her hair. "Governing involves consent, collaboration, cooperation – all that messy stuff no one wants to bother with, and you might have forgotten, but it's what I've done my entire life."

Luke ran his hand over his beard. "But…it's an empire."

"And it's the the senate. All surviving senators will keep their positions; the rest of the planets will have new elections right away."

"But there's a First Senator. Appointed. You."

"Only for the first two-year term, to get through the transition. Then there'll be elections. And everyone, on every world, will get a vote. Not just the members of the senate."

"But they'll be…Emperor, Empress?"

"In name, yes. In a mostly advisory capacity. There will be democracy. I was very clear about that. As I was about putting this proposal itself, including the part about me, to a vote."

Luke raised his eyebrows.

"Two thirds majority of each delegation to ratify it. And they agreed with no hesitation. Tomorrow there's a full meeting of our delegation and theirs, and this will all be presented then, and everyone will get a chance to debate, for as long as it takes, and vote. Secret ballot. He's changed. Rey changed him, and…he changed himself. He broke free, from Snoke, from the dark side. He won't ever be you, Luke, but he's not…he's not the person who destroyed your academy, either. He's the man Rey married. She _married_ him, Luke, doesn't that tell you something? And he's my son. I got him back and I'm not letting him go again."

"Leia, I'm trying, I am, but…"

"Well try harder," she snapped, twisting the hair into a coil on top of her head and securing it with several elaborate combs. "You owe me that."

He looked at the floor. "I know. Leia, I'm…I'm sorry I deserted you, left you to deal with the aftermath alone, but I…I just…after what happened at the Academy, I couldn't…I couldn't be around people."

She gave him a long, steady look before she spoke. "I understand."

He started to speak, but she held up a hand.

"I _understand_ because I felt exactly the same way. That was my _son_. My _baby_. And he slaughtered people. Children. _Children_ , Luke. And I could have, I should have seen it coming, should have been able to stop it, but I didn't because I was too busy being important. All that blood was on my hands." She was wringing her hands, rubbing at them as if to wipe the stain away. "Do you think I wanted to face people, look them in the eye, when I knew that? Don't you think I wanted to disappear? Don't you think I wanted to crawl in the deepest hole in the galaxy and die? But I didn't have that luxury, Luke. Because everyone was still looking to me to lead, to help, to protect them…from the monster _I_ had created. Every day, every minute, every second I wanted to give up, run away…hell, just stay in bed, but I couldn't. Because I had to do my job. So yes, I _understand_." She practically snarled the word.

Luke sighed and slumped down in a chair. "You really think this is the right thing to do?"

"Emphatically." She pulled some clothing from her overnight bag and stepped into the suite's 'fresher, partially closing the door but continuing to speak. "The First Order will never surrender. But they will support _them_. We have an opportunity here, a once in a million lifetimes chance, at peace. _Peace_. No more war. No more deaths. Here," she tossed another datapad at him, maybe a little harder than she needed to.

"Read this report. I never saw it before; it was part of the new information Artoo's been spitting out since he woke up. It's a debrief of exactly _how_ we ended up with the plans for the first Death Star. I knew some of it – I was _there,_ I saw the battle, the…the blast. They annihilated their own base, Luke, without hesitation. Their own people. I saw it – but I never knew the details. I was too busy escaping and then telling the most ambitious lie I had ever told. I didn't know – about the people who made it possible. Their names, their faces.

"Read this, _look_ at them, and _then_ tell me it's not worth a bit of compromise to put an end to this war once and for all. If that means using the word 'Emperor', so be it. I will do that." She came out of the 'fresher, her fatigues and tunic replaced by a flowing white gown topped with a long sleeveless vest in a deep, rich blue that matched the ring and necklace she was wearing. "And you will kriffing do it too, big brother. Because I stayed and faced it while you ran away. Because you _owe_ me. So in this situation, you'll do as I say."

Luke was focused on the datapad, his face grim, pained. When he finished he looked up, gulped. "Alright, Leia. Alright."

She picked up his Jedi robe and held it out to him. "Good. Let's go."

"Go? Where?"

"To visit the delegates, of course."

He actually looked at her, then, and his face sank. "Oh, crap, you're wearing your lobbying clothes."

She gave him an amused look. "You don't think I intend to go into this meeting tomorrow without making sure everyone on our team knows _exactly_ where I stand on this issue, and where I _sincerely_ _hope_ they stand on it, do you?"

"But it's so late. I was going to have cup of tea and go to bed."

"Well, that'll have to wait four or five hours. _Governing_ is hard, and I'm tired of doing it alone."

He stood up, took the robe and put it on.

* * *

Dedicated to Carrie Fisher, who will forever be missed. I hope this did just a tiny bit of justice to what I wish would be possible. I wanted this reconciliation so much, and writing this made me feel better. I'm sure whatever actually happens in the movies will be heartbreaking in an utterly different way now, but I needed to write _this_.

I hope the reconciliation wasn't too rushed, and I hope I wasn't too hard on Luke, but Leia is not playing around. And I know I sort of glossed over what exactly the 'plan' is. That's because I don't have one, although there are little bits and pieces in the next chapter. Political science is not my subject. But hopefully the fact that General Leia Organa accepts it is enough to prove that it is a good, fair plan. Plus I think I solved one problem - in the past it seemed like only the senators ever seemed to get to vote; now everyone does. I'd hate to be in charge of the logistics of that, but hey, all those Stormtroopers will need something to do, right?

I had to put a little nod to _Rogue One_ in, because those people deserve to be remembered – and Artoo knows everything.

Thank you so much for reading; I hope this gave some satisfaction and even a tiny bit of comfort. Reviews are much appreciated - they're the chocolate chips in the cookies of writing.


	51. Arrangements

Arrangements

* * *

It was late when they stumbled back to their room. Rey's neck was stiff and her eyes stung from staring at the datapad screen for hours as they worked with Leia, but she also felt that sense of satisfaction that came from actually _accomplishing_ something. It had been…strange, but not in the way she would have expected it to be. There was still a certain awkwardness - how could there not be - but at the same time, sitting there, working together, the three of them, it had felt natural, right. It reminded her of coming back to her AT-AT after a long day of scavenging to find everything exactly the way she had left it.

And Kylo and Leia, well, they were simply brilliant. Rey didn't consider herself a stupid person by any means, but she hadn't needed to know about forms of government on Jakku (which, she had just learned, had a default system of government that was a combination of anarchy and despotism). Mechanics, piloting, physical combat – those were the skills she had needed and taught herself. But Kylo – he understood all of it, because he had grown up surrounded by it. It had come back, in bits and pieces as they had worked on their ideas as the _Finalizer_ made its way to Bespin, and now, with Leia helping, it was like a huge vault of repressed knowledge had been opened. The things they talked about, the terms they used…bicameral legislature, concurrent powers, constitutional monarchy, representative democracy, universal suffrage…Rey didn't know those words, and they used them with such ease. Kylo could debate the relative merits of a representative republic versus a direct democracy, or describe the difference between a parliamentary and a presidential system, or explain what a theocracy or a hierocracy was (and why they didn't want that).

She was more than a little impressed.

They finally finished the initial draft of the plan - because, Leia explained, that was what it was; just a beginning, a framework to be built on. They would put it to a vote and, assuming it passed, then the real work of drafting a comprehensive, detailed, implementable document would begin. Once they were satisfied that it was as good as it could get, they said goodnight to Leia, with more hugs and a few more tears. They barely saw the suite when they got back, crossing to the bedroom, shucking their clothes as they went. Rey tossed on an old tunic, soft and faded, while Kylo was satisfied to sleep in his undershorts. They crawled into the very center of the island-sized bed and curled together on their sides under the billowy white covers, faces and bodies touching.

She felt everything he did – the storm of emotions, still raw, like a fresh scrape: relief, uncertainty, pride, exhaustion, disbelief, gratitude, shock, confusion – it was a lot to process, and he was overwhelmed and out of words. She leaned in and kissed him, slowly and thoroughly, and pressed her body against his. No talking, no analysis. Just her lips and body against his. He responded, hands sliding under her tunic and pushing it over her head, then roaming down her back, hot and grasping, pulling her closer, a low sort of whimper escaping his lips as a wave of need washed over her, engulfing her as he kissed her, sucking her tongue into his mouth as if he was trying to swallow her whole.

He needed her. She swam in it, drank it in and swallowed it and let it drown her and she _loved_ it.

He was so tender, so intense - so _Ben_. Tonight, that was who he needed to be.

She hooked her top leg over his hips and pulled him closer, still kissing him, hands sliding down his spine and over his ass. He had such a perfect ass. He mirrored her actions, cupping her bottom in his huge hands. She felt his cock nudging against her and shifted, spreading her legs wider, and he slid inside, making her gasp into his mouth and squeeze his ass tighter. She dug her nails into that perfect skin as he kissed her and pumped into her, desperation and desire intermingled, thrusting harder and harder, clutching her shoulder with one hand and her hip with the other.

Maybe they weren't really doing the big round bed justice, but there would be time for that. This was what they needed now, to be wound together, not quite sure where one ended and the other began. He slowed down, and his hand snaked between them, sensitive fingertips finding just the right spot, rubbing up and down as he steadied his breathing. She knew he was barely holding on, trying to control the urge to just pound into her until he came so that she could catch up.

 _You don't have to…it's okay if this is just for you._

 _I need to. I need to feel you come._

She hummed into his mouth. If that was what he needed.

She pulled her lips from his, locking eyes with him, and shifted so he could move his hand more easily, sliding down and back just enough to provide some range of motion, and to allow him to move his hips with more abandon. The combination of his frenzied thrusts, his sensitive fingers and his eyes, Force, his beautiful, deep, soulful eyes, left her gasping and shaking, climbing higher, muscles tightening, breath coming in harsh pants. Her eyes never left his, captured by their intensity.

And then she was there, her walls pulsing and clenching around him, almost pushing him out, but she wrapped her legs around him, digging her heels into the small of his back. She screamed _now_ first into his mind and then out loud, over and over, and he let himself go, hammering against her, jolting against her pelvis so hard she felt it in her teeth.

After, they stayed a tangle of arms and legs, knotted together, her head tucked against his chest, and she drifted to sleep almost instantly, breathing in the smell of his skin.

* * *

It had taken hours, but Leia and Luke had talked to every member of their delegation. Maz was first, because Leia knew she would be on her side, then Chewbacca. He had been more of a challenge, but Maz had helped, and in the end, the Wookiee agreed, saying he didn't want to have lost his best friend _and_ his best friend's young one; that he didn't want Han to have sacrificed himself in vain; that he still felt he owed Han Solo a life debt, and Han's final wish was to bring Ben home, so if he could help with that, he would. Then he'd hugged Leia, long and tight, humming softly in Shyriiwook as she thanked him for having been Han's constant companion for so long, for being there for her whenever she needed him, and now for taking this chance on Ben. He patted her back and let her talk herself out as they rocked one another back and forth, Luke and Maz looking on.

Finn and Poe were more challenging still, and as she sat in the small but luxurious suite they were sharing, asking one to make peace with the organization that had ripped him from his family and tried to turn him into cannon fodder, and another to put aside almost the same thing she had never forgiven her own biological father for, she felt like she was asking too much. But she asked anyway. Poe looked at Luke. "You're on board with this? You think this is the right thing to do?" Luke nodded, solemn but certain. Poe looked at Finn, Finn back at Poe, eyes large and pleading. He wanted his friend back. Poe couldn't deny Finn when he looked at him like that; he sighed and nodded.

Admiral Ackbar, Admiral Statura and Major Ematt, career military men, were noncommittal but open-minded. She wasn't sure if she had won them over, but she knew they understood her position. She knew they would _listen_. And that was enough.

Back in their suite, Luke, who had been quiet but steady and unfailing in his support as she dragged him from door to door, gave her a hug and a peck on the cheek as he trundled off to bed, rubbing his eyes and muttering something about not knowing how she did it.

Leia walked to the viewport, her brain still whirring too fast for sleep, and looked out at the inky blackness sprinkled with stars that looked impossibly bright and close.

"Oh, Han," she whispered to the night sky. "I have to believe you're out there somewhere. That you're not just gone." She could almost feel his presence here; could almost believe he was just down the hall or in the other room. Of course she would; it was here that she had admitted to herself how she felt about him. It was here that they had first made love, when he had been brought back, shaking and trembling in pain after Vader tortured him, and she just wanted to hold him and comfort him. The corner of her lip curved up; a petty, angry part of her thought there was a certain beautiful irony in the fact that _that_ was what had made her invite Han Solo into her bed. Well, it wasn't so much a bed as a slab in their cell (she regretted not saying yes a few nights earlier and taking advantage of the big round bed in their suite), and they had to be very quiet so they wouldn't wake Chewie, but it had still been exquisite, because they had waited so long, and she loved him so very much.

It was here that she had first _told_ him she loved him.

She placed her palm flat against the viewport. "Han, you didn't fail. We have our son back. I hope you know that, wherever you are. You helped bring him home, you did, and I'm so grateful, even though…even though the price was so high. I miss you. Every day. I did before, when you left, but then, well, I always knew I'd see you again. And now…" Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes and her throat tightened. She took a deep breath, focusing on her reflection in the transparisteel. The image was softened and blurred, the stress of the years washed away by starlight. "And…Han, you'd be so proud. He's really making an effort to end this…this conflict. And he's _married_. To Rey. You liked her so much, I could see it in your eyes when you mentioned her, and I wish…I just wish you could be here." She smiled, and the refection smiled back.

Tears – mostly happy ones - quivered on her lower lashes and blurred her vision, and for just a fraction of a second, the reflection seemed to shift, and she saw not just herself, but someone taller, with twinkling eyes and a confident smirk, and another, taller still, serious and still until another smaller figure slipped beneath his arm, and then he looked down at her and his face lit up with a smile. She blinked and it was gone and of course she was just being silly. It was just her own reflection, distorted and multiplied through her tears. She dropped her hand. She had Ben back. And Rey. And perhaps one day there would be babies, tiny and new and full of possibility and hope, and she wouldn't let herself be too busy for them, ever. It was so much more than she had ever hoped for. She only wished Han knew.

"I love you," she whispered to the void.

She knew it was just her overwrought imagination, but she could have sworn she heard someone reply 'I know'.

* * *

It was barely first sunrise (there were two a day, thanks to the planet's 12-hour rotation period), but Rey was already up and dressed. She had woken early, nerves and excitement swirling through her about the day ahead. She was going to see her old friends again – she had missed them so much, but she wasn't sure how they would react, if they would understand. She had showered and pulled on a pair of black pants and a stretchy top, secured her hair in her usual three neat buns, and had a cup of the most delicious caf she had ever tasted from the automated machine in the kitchenette. Now she was strolling through the far-too-large suite. Everything was snowy white, gleaming and pristine and perfect, and she wondered how they kept it clean. She rambled from the kitchenette into the lounge, an enormous room with a sunken sitting area dominated by a plush round sectional sofa large enough for a dozen people, then into the bedroom, where the round bed (which was also big enough for a dozen) sat in the center of the room under a skylight with tinted glass.

Kylo was still sleeping, sprawled on his back, arms flung out at his sides, face soft and peaceful – more peaceful than she could ever remember. She smiled and made her way into the 'fresher, which was larger than her old AT-AT had been. It had the usual fixtures, plus a colossal sunken tub. She had been embarrassed to have to ask Kylo what it was for, but none of the explanations her mind could supply (watering trough, reservoir) quite fit. She still couldn't quite believe people actually filled something that large full of water just to bathe. It had to take gallons and gallons. One tubful of water would have made her rich on Jakku. She was figuring how many portions it might bring when she heard a soft chime at the door and hurried to answer it before it woke her husband. She grinned, just thinking that word. Husband. She had a husband. She had a _family_.

It was Lora Calrissian at the door. "Daddy sent me to see if you needed anything before the meeting? He'll be here in an hour to escort the both of you to the conference room, but until then, he just sent me to see if there were any little things you had forgotten or run out of? Tooth cleaner, soap…prophylactics?"

Rey giggled and blushed. Lora had no filter, but she was open and sweet and funny. "No, I…I think we're fine. But thank you. Do…do you want to come in? I woke up early. I'm…well, a little nervous."

"Of course you are! Who wouldn't be? But don't you worry. I know it'll be fine."

"Do you want some caf? It's delicious."

Lora smiled. "I know, right? We have it shipped in from Belsavis and ground fresh before each cup. And I'd love some."

The two leaned on the gleaming white kitchen counter while the machine puffed and whirred.

"So, what are you going to wear to the meeting?"

Rey blinked. "Umm, this?"

Lora looked her up and down. "Oh, honey. No. No, no, no, no, no. You are the _Empress_ of the _Galaxy_. You simply cannot go to the peace talks wearing _Stormtrooper under-layers_."

Rey didn't ask how Lora knew what Stormtroopers wore under their armor. "They're my training clothes. I like them. They're comfy and have a good range of motion." She swung her arms in wide arcs, moving through a few simple forms to prove her point.

Lora rolled her eyes. "You're not going in there to fight them in single combat."

Rey handed Lora a cup of steaming caf and took the other for herself, peering over the edge at the other woman, who looked stunning in a pale blue blouse, gauzy white skirt and soft azure leather boots. "But I don't have anything else. Well, I have one dress, but it's an evening gown. I couldn't wear it."

"Well, that's no problem. What's your favorite color?"

"I like all of them, especially bright colors."

Lora grinned. "Just like my mama." She looked Rey up and down, her face scrunched in concentration. "I think purple. Or a really rich blue. Come on." She took Rey's hand and tugged.

"Where?"

"To get you a proper outfit. I've always wanted to dress royalty."

"I'm just…"

"Yeah, yeah, except you're not _just_ anything." Lora's face turned solemn. "You're important. You're Benny's…well, everything. I can tell, the way he looks at you; he'd follow you anywhere, do anything for you. So you're a leader, whether you want to admit it or not."

Rey bit her lip. Lora had a point. The plan they had come up with said the same thing, and maybe she needed to get over her denial and accept it. "Okay, I'd…appreciate the help, then. I don't know clothes."

Lora squealed and clasped her hands. "Yes! You have come to the right place, because if there's one thing the Calrissians know, it is _style_ , baby. And gambling." Lora winked. "Also a good bit about intergalactic business and trade relations and organized crime, but that isn't nearly as much fun. Come on. If we hurry we'll have time to stop by the hair salon. One of our droids used to style hair for the queens of Naboo."

"Oh! Kylo's grandmother was …"

"I know. Everyone knows."

Rey let herself be pulled along by Lora's enthusiasm – and she really was curious about how those complicated regal hairdos worked.

* * *

Lando Calrissian often thought back to that sabacc tournament, when he had lost to Han Solo. Barely lost – he had been so close to a win he could _still_ taste it. But Solo had outplayed him (or cheated, which amounted to the same thing), and then done so again when he demanded Lando's personal ship as part of the prize. Lando had thought the loss of the _Falcon_ was the most significant consequence of that game, but he had been wrong. That one loss, that single hand, had entangled him with galactic events for the rest of his life. He realized, as he quietly saw to the logistics of this meeting, that he was once again part of something of historic significance; that perhaps his losing to Han Solo all those years ago wasn't just bad luck, or luck at all. Chance, he decided, had never had a hand in it.

Lando believed in the Force; always had. Unlike Han, he had always thought it existed – out there, somewhere, vague and distant and disinterested in the details of sentient lives. But now he thought perhaps that was wrong. That it wasn't impersonal at all, and that it had been playing its own game - a long game - and that he was a piece in that game.

Or maybe he was just getting philosophical in his old age.

He shook his head and turned to his guests, a Galactic Emperor whose diapers he had changed (just a few times, but still…) and an Empress he had liked instantly because she seemed utterly genuine and insisted she was 'just Rey' despite the fact that every member of the First Order quailed around her.

"This way." He held out a hand, indicating a hallway.

They followed, looking every bit like royalty. Ben…Kylo…whatever he wanted to be called…had on a more formal – or maybe just cleaner - version of the clothing he had worn the day before, with a longer cloak that flowed out behind him when he walked. It wasn't the clothes, though, that made him look regal – it was the way he walked, the way he moved, the expression on his face – aloof and cool, except when his wife caught his eye, which she did frequently, little shy glances from behind fluttering lashes. Then he melted, not that Lando could blame him. She was ethereal. She was wearing one of Lora's dresses – a deep, rich purple velvet, fitted through the torso but soft and flowing from hips to ankles, with tiny gems scattered over it in a pattern that looked like stars, topped with a long shimmering silver vest. The dress was a bit too short, Rey being taller than Lora, but that didn't take away from the fact that she looked majestic in it. Her hair was piled high on top of her head in a complicated arrangement of twists and curls - obviously Lora's doing. She kept touching it gingerly, as if she feared it would collapse at any moment. Kylo, he noticed, couldn't stop staring at her and touching her – nothing that would violate anyone's sense of decorum, but little touches; a hand on the small of her back, a brush of shoulders, his fingertips trailing over the back of her hand as she tucked it in the crook of his elbow.

Lando smiled. "Here we are. I think you'll find this room suits your needs."

It was a larger room, decorated in Lando's signature soft white color scheme. There was a large round transparent table (Lando had chosen the room with the round table on purpose – less chance for conflict) with padded rolling chairs, a holoprojector, adjustable lighting and a credenza stocked with snacks and drinks from across systems. Large transparisteel windows glowed with the stunning colors of Bespin's sunrises and sunsets - two of each every standard day - or sparkled with a bright array of stars.

"Oh, this is lovely!" Rey said, pressing both hands against the large window and staring out at the glowing pink and blue clouds.

"It will serve your purpose, then?" Lando asked.

Kylo nodded. "Yes, thank you."

"Good, then I'll bring the others."

* * *

According to Wookieepedia, Bespin's rotation period is 12 hours, and since most life forms seem to operate on a more or less 24 hour cycle even in Star Wars, and I doubt that even after living there for years they could adapt to a 12 hour sleep-wake cycle, so that means each 'day' would have 2 sunrises and sunsets.

Also from Wookieepedia: Emperor Palpatine owned farms on Belsavis that grew vine-coffee, which was supposedly much better than regular caf; Porcellus also served it in Jabba's Palace. So that's where Lando gets his coffee too.

Apparently the window in Leia's room can be a momentary Mirror of Erised. :)

So, wow, this is nearly the end of the story. I have one more chapter and an epilogue after this, and maybe a one-shot of the wedding later. I can't believe what was supposed to be a few chapters of smutty fun turned into this, and I so appreciate everyone who came along for this ride. I'm not one hundred percent satisfied with this chapter, but I'm also tired of working with it, so I think it's as good as I can make it. Thank you so much for reading, and especially for reviewing. Seeing a notification pop up makes my day, and while I enjoy writing for the sake of writing, it's hearing from you all that really makes it fun.


	52. Armistice

Armistice

* * *

The doors slid open. This was it. The delegates would file in, and they would…negotiate. Debate. Discuss. Kylo instinctively reached for Rey, who stepped closer and clasped his hand. He had not worn his gloves - in fact, he hadn't worn them since Rey slipped the black o-ring on his finger – and her skin was warm and reassuring against his.

But only one person stepped through the doors.

His uncle.

Kylo gulped as he stood in front of the old Jedi, silent, waiting.

Luke, as usual, was in no hurry to speak. He studied Rey first, his eyes searching her face, looking for something and, apparently, finding it. Then his gaze lifted and fell on Kylo, his blue eyes piercing. Luke Skywalker. His uncle, his former master, the man he had betrayed so painfully, the man he had hunted across the galaxy…his blood turned to ice in his veins, his lungs seemed incapable of drawing in air.

"Nephew." Luke's voice creaked, as if it had gotten rusty during his years of exile.

"Uncle."

"Leia told me what you…what she…" He cleared his throat and tried again. "I asked Lando to give us some time alone before he brought the others in."

Kylo nodded stiffly.

Then Luke looked back to Rey "You're…married?"

She nodded, touching the band on her finger. "We are." Her voice shook a little, but there was strength there, and something else. Something for him: Pride. Warmth. Conviction. "I love him. I have for a long time."

Luke's lips twitched up in a ghost of a smile "I know. And he loves you. Maz told me."

Rey bit her lip and drew her brows together. "I'm sorry about the way I left but…I'm not sorry I did. I didn't mean to hurt you. I appreciate all you did for me. I mean – you're _Luke Skywalker_. I thought you were some kind of legend and then I _met_ you. And you helped me, trained me, kriff, you made some really horrible _soup_ for me." She gave a soft chuckle, then frowned. "But you also…failed me. And you failed him."

Luke looked at Kylo, who met his gaze with a mixture of defiance and remorse. He did not want to talk about…this…now. Ever. He would never find the end of his regret. But he also held a deep well of resentment toward his uncle for not being strong enough to sense what was happening. For not loving him enough to save him. But then, no one had – until Rey. Only Rey. He broke away from his uncle's penetrating stare, returning his gaze to Rey. He needed her eyes, her love.

 _You have it. Always._

A warm feeling washed over him and he sighed, tension falling away.

Rey looked at Luke. "I know what happened, what he did. I can't imagine what that did to you but….I also know that wasn't all he was. That wasn't _who_ he was, inside. After the Force bond, I saw, I felt…so much. The battle raging inside him, between the dark and light. The lies, the truth, the denial. The regret and sorrow and hopelessness and fear and anger, so much anger, but most of all, the loneliness, the longing. It was like he had the same thing inside that I did. I couldn't…I couldn't ignore him. I didn't want to. And we, well….I didn't mean to deceive you, but things just happened and we…we realized we loved each other, in a way I didn't know was possible." She finished in a rush, feeling like she had already revealed too much that was supposed to belong to just _them_.

Luke nodded, ran a hand through his sandy gray hair. "I can see that. I didn't fully believe it until now."

Rey tilted her head. "What changed your mind?"

Luke glanced back to Kylo. "He looks at you like you're the bright center of the universe. And I think maybe he's right."

Rey blushed and looked at the floor.

Luke turned back to Kylo and motioned for him to come closer. Kylo took a step, then another, reluctant but compliant.

They regarded one another for a long time. "Uncle, I…"

Luke held up a hand. "A lifetime ago, my teacher, Master Yoda, said I was too intent on the future, that I didn't keep my mind where I was. I think now I'm too intent on the past. Let it go, you must, he would have said. So I am. The Force has guided your path, dark and light, but it has brought you here, now. Who am I to question it?"

This time, Kylo was the one who was speechless. His uncle was forgiving him, just like that? With those few words…no. It couldn't be that easy. "Uncle, please, I need to explain…"

Luke seemed to see right through him. "No. You want to confess, to unburden yourself. You want my absolution. And perhaps - you want my contrition, as well."

Kylo dipped his head, in meager, grudging agreement.

"This is not the time for that. I acknowledge my part in what happened. I…underestimated the power of the dark side." He gave a rueful shake of his head. "Someone warned me not to do that once. I should have paid more attention. I know we must talk about…many things. However, I'm…not ready yet. We will. I promise you that."

Kylo nodded. He could accept that.

Luke cleared his throat. "Besides, the others will arrive soon and there's something important I want to do first. Rey." Luke's voice was low. "I can't do this properly, and I'm not even sure if you want it, but you've certainly earned it. And I…I do not wish to truly be the last." Luke paused. "I think we'll skip the part with the lightsaber and the braid - I'd hate to ruin that hairdo." He simply placed a hand on her shoulder. "But I can say the words." He swallowed and looked at Kylo. " _We_ can say the words – if you remember? We are all Jedi…."

He stared at his uncle, suddenly realizing what he was doing. "You want me to…"

"We're the only ones who can. She deserves it."

Kylo Ren nodded. If anyone did, she did. He joined his uncle as Rey looked from one of them to the other in confusion, speaking words he never thought he would hear again, much less say. "We are all Jedi. The Force speaks through us. Through our actions, the Force proclaims itself and what is real. Today we are here to acknowledge what the Force has proclaimed. In place of the Council, by the will of the Force, I dub thee Jedi, Knight of the Order"

Rey blinked. "But…but I never even finished training, much less the trials. And I'm not sure I'm…well, I think there's a place for the dark side, as well as the light, and..."

Luke gave her shoulder a pat. "A difficult mission often replaced the trials. And I can't think of a more difficult mission than you just accomplished. As for using dark and light, well, I've been doing a lot of studying and meditating since Maz showed up and told me to get my head out of my ass. My father's destiny was to bring balance. I don't know how there can be balance without two sides."

Kylo's eyes widened. Was this really his unbending, dogmatic uncle speaking?

He felt Rey's hand squeeze his as she asked her next question. "And I…well, the rules against attachment?"

"I've had a long time to think about that, too, and the conclusion I've come to is, it's asinine. If it hadn't been for that rule, Leia and I would have grown up together, with our mother and father, beside a lake on Naboo. Instead of being _this_ , we'd have been a normal family. I think that rule was created by a person who let their own fear of loss get the best of them. I think it's time for some reform. Which reminds me…Leia says you intend to have a formal wedding ceremony. I'd be honored to perform the nuptials, if you'd let me." He glanced at the doors a second before they slid open. "Think about it. Now, I believe I'll make myself some tea." He ambled over to the long table under the window and picked up a kettle.

They both stared, open-mouthed, as he poured himself a steaming cup of tea.

Rey looked up at Kylo. "Did he just...am I Jedi now? Did that just happen?"

"I think so?" Kylo was still trying to catch up. "You deserve it, my love." He leaned down, his lips grazing her temple. "My Jedi Empress."

"Oh, stop," she said, but she smiled when she said it.

Then his mother was there, smiling at them, taking both their hands and squeezing, radiating pride and love, and he felt an odd sort of lump in his throat. Then the others were arriving, and there was noise and confusion. BB-8 had rolled into Rey's legs to get her attention, and Artoo had trundled after him, beeping and booping at her. She was kneeling, chattering with the two droids, laughing, and then she was up, across the room, smiling and hugging her old friends. First the ex-stormtrooper, arms thrown around his neck in a fierce embrace, then Poe Dameron, who picked her up and spun her around. Kylo frowned. They were _touching_ her, touching Rey, as if they had a right, as if they were worthy to touch his beloved. He clenched his fists and took a step forward, but was stopped by his mother's hand on his arm. "Stand down. They're her friends, and she needs this. And we need their support, which we have, but it's tentative at best." He froze, but continued to glare as the traitor held one of his wife's hands and the pilot held the other and she chattered and smiled at them, that bright, beaming smile that he thought should only belong to _him_.

He heard his mother sigh. "You're going to have to accept the fact that Rey has friends. People are drawn to her like bees to honey. And she needs that; she's so full of warmth, and she missed out for so long."

Intellectually, he understood this. Of course everyone loved Rey – how could they not? She was like a sun, drawing those around her in. Even _Hux_ liked her. And she deserved the friendship she had missed out on.

That didn't change the visceral flood of emotions that ran through him, that made him want to grab Rey and clutch her against his chest and snarl at anyone who came close. Especially the traitor. She had been…interested…in him. Had cared about him as, perhaps, more than a _friend_. He ground his teeth.

Another long sigh from Leia. "Not that it should matter but…if it helps, Finn and Poe are almost as deeply in love as you and Rey." She gave him with a knowing smile. "Almost."

He finally looked at his mother, blinked, and smiled. The traitor was… _in love_? And not with Rey? "Oh. Well. In that case, I'm…most pleased for them." He could feel the relief seep in. "Most pleased."

"You should be. You sort of…introduced them."

"Wha…oh." He shifted from foot to foot, not sure how to respond.

"What exactly are you injecting prisoners with, anyway? Zeltron spiced wine?"

He blinked at her, opened and closed his mouth a few times. "I…wh…no?"

She rolled her eyes. "That was a joke. I was joking. Because Poe and Rey…"

A whisper of a memory: _He was four, peering intently into a mirror, tugging and poking at his cheeks with chubby little fingers, panic racing through him. 'Ben, that was a joke. Your face won't really stick like that. Stop taking everything so seriously!'_

"But…"

"Shhh, relax. I'm sorry. I had forgotten how serious you always were. This is…I'm still learning how to be…us…again. It's going to be awkward. But, well, some things are so absurd that if they weren't funny, they would just be true, and that's unacceptable." She patted his cheek, her hand soft and warm, and smiled gently. "I love you. And now I'm going to get some caf before everyone else gets here and uses up all the real blue cream and leaves nothing but that vile powdered stuff."

He stared at her, reaching up and touching the place her hand had been. "I love you too, Mother," he whispered.

Then Chewbacca was wrapping his long, furry arms around Rey, speaking to her in Shyriiwook. Kylo was surprised how much he still remembered – Chewie was complimenting her hair and her dress and telling her how happy he was to see her again…and how pleased that she had returned with Han Solo's young one, and that they had pledged themselves to one another.

Rey responded, and then turned to him, a beckoning look on her face. _Come over. He wants to speak to you._

He wasn't sure he could. He had never known a more devoted friend than Chewbacca had been to his father. Rey was holding out a hand. He took a step, but he simply couldn't make his feet move any more. He stared at the floor, at Rey's outstretched hand…small fingers, short, neat nails buffed to a high sheen for the occasion.

He took another step.

Rey reached out and grasped his hand. He concentrated on that, on their intertwined fingers, as Chewbacca looked at him with eyes that had existed for over two hundred years, gave a solemn nod, and spoke: _My debt to Han Solo was never paid_.

Because of me, he thought. He wanted to turn and run, but he gritted his teeth and forced himself to stand there. Whatever Chewie said, whatever he did, he deserved far worse. So he would stand here and take it, whatever it was. He hoped the Wookiee didn't plan to rip his arms off.

 _It is a sacred pledge, and our traditions say that it extends to you and yours._

What? He had never fully understood Wookiee spiritual beliefs, but he knew honor was sacred to them, and he knew that it was only because of Chewie's commitment to honor that he was still alive. Kylo's eyes burned. "That's why you…missed."

A nod. _You are part of my honor family. I am bound to protect you._

"I…I don't deserve…"

 _It is not about what you deserve, but about what I choose to give. If all got what they deserved, darkness would have won millennia ago. But we can choose to give not what is earned, but what will feed our souls, and the souls of those to whom we are connected, and only then can hope survive. We can choose to give love to the rebellious; peace to the restless. Look at me, young one._

He looked up, so slowly, dragging his eyes up to barely meet his honorary uncle's, letting Chewie look at him, appraise him. He wasn't sure what the Wookiee saw, but he must have been satisfied, because Kylo found himself wrapped in an almost-forgotten but familiar embrace, immersed by the dried-leaves and fresh-hay scent of clean Wookiee.

 _I choose to give you what your father wanted to give you. My pardon. My love._

"I…I'll try to be worthy. From now on," he said, voice thick and strained.

If he left a patch of damp fur on Chewie's shoulder when he pulled away, the Wookiee didn't complain.

The doors slid open again, and Lando stepped into the room, followed by the rest of the Resistance delegates. "I'll be bringing the First Order delegation to join you in five minutes," he said. "If that's acceptable?"

There was an awkward silence until Kylo realized he was the one who was expected to respond. "That will be…fine. Thank you."

Threepio was suddenly everywhere, bustling around the room, directing people around the large table, telling them to take their seats. "Come, come," he said, herding Rey and Kylo around the table. "General Organa has updated your profiles in my databanks with your new titles, your Imperial Majesties."

"Oh, kriff," Rey said.

"Language, Empress! It's an entirely necessary update. As a protocol droid, it is imperative that I know everyone's relative positions so that I can advise them appropriately. As such, you should take these seats," he indicated the ones that faced the door, "as they give you the most command of the room. No, no don't sit down yet, you should stand and allow your subjects to greet you properly. Do you wish them to bow or…"

"If you feel it's _proper_ …" Kylo started, a small smile tugging at his lips.

"Oh, Force no!" Rey said.

"He _is_ a protocol droid. And if mother programmed him to help us then I think we should listen."

She glared at her husband. "I don't think there needs to be any _bowing_ , Threepio." She hissed.

Kylo shrugged. "Alright. No bowing. Unless they want to."

Rey leaned closer to Kylo. "Why would they _want_ to bow?"

He shrugged, but couldn't help smirking.

She narrowed her eyes. "Wait a second." Her voice was low and gravelly. "What exactly were you and Hux talking about this morning when I got back from the hair salon?"

He shrugged again. "He wanted to discuss strategy. Said it would be prudent to have a game plan. He had some excellent suggestions regarding, ah, decorum."

"Decorum? Does that include bowing?"

"Perhaps."

His wife gritted her teeth and glared daggers at him.

 _Your anger is beautiful,_ he thought, coating the words with desire.

 _You're going to pay for this later,_ she thought back.

He smiled. _I can't wait_.

Threepio had toddled off to greet the arriving First Order delegates, led by General Hux. In addition, there were three admirals, two generals, Phasma and two other Stormtrooper Captains, and Dala Ren and Ahsha Ren to represent the Knights of Ren. There was a brief pile-up at the door, as no one knew exactly what to do, or what to make of the Resistance delegation, which was scattered and chaotic and loud, laughing and moving around the room and eating and drinking, leaving little trails of crumbs everywhere. First Order meetings began with proper silent filing into a room, addressing the senior officer with the appropriate salute or other show of respect, and then standing at attention until leave was given to sit. There was no chit-chat. There were no _snacks_.

Hux was the first to break away from the crowd. He squared his shoulders, smoothed his jacket and strode directly to Kylo and Rey, stopping and giving a very snappy salute and heel click, followed by a very proper bow from the waist. "Your Imperial Majesties," he said.

Rey rolled her eyes. "General, that's really not necessary…"

"With all due respect, my lady, it is." He said, glancing at the others. He dropped his voice so only Kylo and Rey, in front of him, could hear. "They understand this. They do not understand…that." He cut his eyes toward the Resistance group. "You have my support. Because I think…I _know_ you will prevail, and I wish to see Cressa and my boys again. Allow me to show it in the way I know will be most amenable." He spun on his heel and took the chair closest to Kylo, who was smiling a little too smugly.

 _As I said, unless they want to._

 _Stop gloating. I'm only going along with this because I think he's right._

Her eyes found his, and he saw that underneath the annoyance, she was feeling out of her element; he could almost see the anxiety skitter across her skin. She had been his strength earlier; he could be hers now. _Relax. It's just protocol. All you need do is be yourself and allow them to offer their allegiance._

She gave a little nod and reached up, checking that the elaborate hairstyle was still in place, touching the piled curls gingerly. He watched as her deft fingers played over each strand, careful not to damage the intricate arrangement. He couldn't wait until this was over and he could slowly unpin and unwind all those twists and coils and run his fingers through her hair.

The others followed Hux's example, giving a salute and a bow, then moving to their chairs, in order from highest to lowest ranking officer, followed by Captain Phasma and her two colleagues. The Knights were last; their bows less precise but more fervent, imbued with something between respect and dread, tinged with an underlying resentment that he had expected but knew he would have to contain.

Threepio chattered and prattled, directing everyone to take their seats, passing out datapads, pulling up agendas, until, finally, everyone was settled. Kylo heard a snippet of a phrase from the droid: "…remove your helmet at the directive of the Emperor." Yes, that had been his idea. They should all be able to look each other in the eye, see each other as people.

Tension hung in the air like smoke, snapped between the two sides like electricity, flickering and flaring through the Force. Leia was fully General Organa again, sitting directly across from General Hux; two powerful people accustomed to command sizing each other up. Hux's eyes were like arctic ice, pale blue-green and frigid; Leia's were dark and hard as Veshok wood. Every face showed disdain as they all eyed one another across the table. These were people who had spent their lives in opposition. He ran his fingers along the edges of the datapad. The hope that they would all suddenly agree felt beyond preposterous.

Rey clenched Kylo's hand more tightly; he felt her anxiety building, thrumming through her veins and his. He had told her he could command; that he would give her an empire she could not only accept but be proud of. And he would.

He cleared his throat. "You all know why we are here. Supreme Leader Snoke is dead. We have taken his place. But we do not wish to maintain these hostilities. Nor does General Organa." He had wanted to refer to her as 'Dowager Empress Organa' or at least 'Princess' but she had given him _that look_ , and Rey had argued that 'General' was the more impressive title anyway, being earned, so he had relented. He had not, however, rescinded the order that all First Order personnel refer to his mother as 'Imperial Highness' and lower their heads when addressing her. "Therefore, we are here to reach an accord. And we will do so."

He looked around the room, waiting until he sensed their acceptance of the fact that this was not a formality; that something would be accomplished here. "I officially call to order this, the first meeting of the Bespin Peace Conference," he said. That was what they had decided to call it. Simple, direct, descriptive.

They all turned their faces toward him. He took a deep breath and sat down. "Let's get started, then."

* * *

So my 'last chapter' has turned into two chapters, because I always end up writing more than I think I will and it was getting too long. I felt like there needed to be more personal peacemaking between Kylo and his family before they tried for galactic peacemaking. Next chapter, they really get down to business, and Kylo finds out that, like George Washington says in 'Hamilton', "Winning was easy, young man. Governing's harder." So there will be one more chapter after this one (with lemons!) and then the epilogue.

Jedi Knighting Ceremony: Taken from the description of the Jedi Knighting Ceremony in the 'Legends' section on Wookiepedia, but I figured Luke must have been sort of searching, finding bits and pieces of old Jedi lore and artifacts to put together his version of training…sort of like online research, but with more flying around in spacecraft and exploring old temples. So he could have found anything. I just changed 'By the right of the Council' to 'In place of the Council' since there is not council.

Zeltron spiced wine was a type of spicy wine fermented by the Zeltrons. The beverage was known for its odd smell and strong aphrodisiac qualities

I think Leia would agree with this Carrie Fisher quote: "If my life wasn't funny it would just be true, and that is unacceptable." So I worked in a paraphrase of it.

Kashyyyk's religious beliefs are not well defined from what I could find out doing research. All I could find out was that the life debt and honour family are sacred, that they reject materialism and that one of the most important Wookiee customs is Life Day, when they celebrate a day of joy and harmony, as promised by the Tree of Life. So, I sort of went from there and attributed to them some of the best aspects of the 1970s hippie Christianity I grew up with. Peace, love, mercy, grace – because it felt like it fit and I needed Chewie to forgive Kylo without it taking five chapters. And I think that's what Han would have wanted, too.

Veshok wood was an extremely hard wood from the veshok tree on Mandalore.

A million thanks to Perry Downing for being the best beta around! I cherish your insight and friendship, and so appreciate all your help! And another million thanks to everyone who has read and stuck with this story that got way longer than I ever planned. You guys and your feedback mean the world to me!


	53. Constitution

Constitution

* * *

 _So, I was thoroughly out of my depth with the politics parts of this chapter, and I didn't want to get too deep into exactly what their plan is, cause I'm not totally sure, but I couldn't just leave it at 'they made peace' either. So I watched a lot of 'Drunk History' and listened to all the songs from 'Hamilton' and '1776'…aaaaand researched types of government in the SW universe and the real world until my eyes crossed and, well, I hope it all makes sense and isn't too tedious or too vague. And if it is, there are lots of lemons, and some extremely inappropriate use of the Force, to make up for it. ;) This chapter ended up being more of a series of 'snippets' than my others, because I'm trying to cover a lot of ground without it being too long – although it's still pretty long. So, here it is, the final chapter of Commemoration:_

* * *

The peace talks went smoothly.

Well, pleasantly, anyway.

Pleasantly, that is, for negotiations between long-time bitter rivals.

Tolerably might have been a bit more accurate.

Antagonistically, at times.

But they went. They succeeded, and a preliminary agreement was reached; not so much a final peace treaty, but a cease fire and a road map toward building a unified government.

Leia looked around with a tired but satisfied smile. A cease-fire was good, but building a real coalition government – that would be better. And harder. And that was the next step. Was she destined to keep doing this, over and over until she got it right? She remembered a story Bail Organa, the man she would always consider _her father_ , had told her, a myth from some long-forgotten civilization, about a king whose penance for his misdeeds during his life was to spend the afterlife endlessly rolling a boulder up a hill, only to have it roll back down on him again and again. Was this a similar sort of punishment? To endlessly rebuild governments only to see them destroyed? Or, if she finally got things right, if she balanced her public and private selves, if she managed to give her son _and_ the galaxy what they needed, would she be relieved of the task?

She rubbed her temples and sighed.

"Two week recess and then back to it?" She glanced at Hux, raised an eyebrow. The two generals had gained a grudging respect for one another, and for their respective commitments to supporting Kylo and Rey. They agreed on almost nothing else, disliked one another personally, but on that point, they were unified.

"Seconded, Your Highness," he said with a crisp nod.

She rolled her eyes. "You _must_ stop that."

* * *

The First Order delegates returned to their ships for the duration of the recess; peace talks didn't mean an end to routine duties for them, and they all wanted to impress the new Emperor and Empress with their commitment and work ethic.

The Resistance leaders scattered throughout the galaxy to report to their larger organization. Most of the Resistance knew only that General Organa and her closest advisors had taken off suddenly for an urgent mission that was somehow related to the most recent battle, the one in which the First Order had apparently turned on itself. They also met with the few New Republic senators who had not been in the Hosnian system, to let them know they still had jobs, and to try to…explain.

* * *

"This is your first time?" Poe asked Finn. "Really?"

"Really. Stromtroopers don't get a lot of time for, uh, recreation."

He looked at his boyfriend's bare sculpted chest and licked his lips. "You nervous?"

"A little."

"I'll show you what to do. You wanna take it slow or jump right in?"

Finn bit his lip. Poe couldn't stop staring. "Hmmm. Jump right in."

"That's what I love about you," Poe said, winking. "Let's go." He grabbed Finn's hand and pulled him along. "Hold your breath!" He shouted as they both took a flying leap off the edge of the pool and into the water.

Jess, Snap and Kaydel Ko clapped and shrieked with laughter as water splashed up and engulfed them. They hadn't been able to believe Finn had never gone swimming, in a pool, for fun. He had been taught to swim, but survival training in full armor wasn't even similar, so along with Poe, they had made it their mission on the first day of the recess to correct that.

They, and the other junior members of the Resistance delegation, led by the young Calrissians, took advantage of the break to enjoy the Cloud City resorts, swimming in enormous pools, drifting above the city's turrets and towers in cloud cars, losing too many credits to the tireless gambling droids in the casinos, and indulging in the bounty of endless buffets and open bars. It had been so long – a lifetime for many of them – since they had been able to just _play_ , so they did.

* * *

The Emperor and Empress spent most of the two week recess naked.

They thoroughly explored the huge round bed, the palatial 'fresher, and the private terrace with the sun deck and mineral pool and hanging gardens made entirely of delicate air plants that thrived on the moisture and nutrients in the clouds. That was Rey's favorite spot; she could sit there forever, just looking at the lush greenery and the brilliant blooms; breathing in the spicy-sweet, fresh scents of the flowers and leaves, feeling them through the Force.

That night, she was lying on a lounge chair in what Lora referred to as 'bathing togs'. She still couldn't believe there was an entire category of clothing made just for sunning and swimming. Lora had tried to talk her into the skimpier models, scraps of material held together with jewels and strings, but she couldn't even figure out how to put them on. So she had chosen a simple version – a pair of high cut black briefs and a green stretchy tank that scooped low over her breasts, but didn't expose them.

Kylo was leaning on the railing, ignoring the brilliant Cloud City sunset to stare at her as she watched him, his broad shoulders and sculpted chest silhouetted against the clouds as they changed from turquoise to orange and magenta to purple to a deep, rich wine color.

"Come here," she said.

He did, his movements fluid, sinuous, predatory. He dropped to one knee beside the lounge chair, taking her hand, kissing each finger, reaching up and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Anything, my love." His lips brushed against her ear as he leaned in and took a breath, as if he was trying to inhale her. "You smell like the sun," he said. "My sun, so bright, so strong."

She shuddered and closed her eyes. "Take me to bed," she whispered.

He didn't hesitate, sweeping her up in his arms and carrying her into the cool, dark depths of their suite, where he laid her in the middle of the huge round bed, peeled her clothes and his off, and kissed his way down her body, from her lips to her throat to her collarbone to her breasts, then down, over her navel and the soft swell of her belly, looking up at her with those eyes, those deep, dark, soulful eyes that went on forever, before burying his head between her thighs, leaving her gasping and whimpering, her hands grasping huge handfuls of his hair, stroking and pulling.

She threw her head back as he gave an especially hard suck on her clit…not too much, but enough to make her eyes widen and her breath hitch, and when she did, she caught sight of their reflection in the skylight above the bed, transparent on a background of black sky and glittering stars. "Oh, oh Kylo!" She exhaled.

 _What is it, my love?_

She let the image, and the feelings it stirred in her, drift from her mind to his. _Us. I've never…seen us like this. It's… we're…so beautiful._

 _Yes. So beautiful. My Jedi Empress. You were made to be worshipped._

She could tell he was focusing on her, her hair spread on the pillow, her head thrown back, mouth slightly open in pleasure. She pulled and shifted the image, so the focus was on him, his broad back, his head moving between her thighs. That, _that_ she could watch forever. It was the most sensual thing she had ever seen. _Not me, us, together. It looks like we're floating among the stars._

 _I promised to give you the stars, my love._ He moved his tongue faster and faster. Rey watched, fascinated, as she came undone, as he crawled up her body and made slow, sweet love to her, the images flowing across the bond, her arousal spurring him on until they both found their release; it was hot and bright and felt like starlight flowing through her veins.

They lay there for a long time, her head pillowed on his shoulder, his fingers stroking her back, whispering little endearments and stealing glances at themselves in the skylight over the bed.

They enjoyed the round bed even more after that.

* * *

Too soon, though, it was time to go back to work, and days were spent in the conference room, working out the endless list of details that went into _governing_.

Most of what had to be done now required a knowledge of government that neither Rey nor Kylo felt they had. So, on the first day of the second session of negotiations, they had arranged a rather surreal meeting with Leia and Hux. They met at a tropical-themed cantina at sunrise. Sitting at a pearlescent plastisteel table overlooking an artificial beach, listening to the lapping water of a pale-pink wave pool and sipping frothy pastel-colored frozen teas, they had asked the two generals to serve as leads for each delegation, introducing issues that were important to each side, and leading the discussion.

It was a successful strategy, although at times the two seemed to be doing their jobs _too_ well, each refusing to give on certain topics.

The days dragged into weeks, and the weeks into months. As the delegations slogged through day after day of tedious negotiations, Bespin reached the perigee of its orbit, and the days grew hotter. Having a nearly vertical axis, the gas giant didn't have seasons based on planetary tilt, but its temperatures did fluctuate due to the highly elliptical orbit it completed around its star every fourteen standard years. That was how often the truly hot season came, and it lasted for almost a standard year. The proximity of the star heating the planet sped up the photochemical reactions, leaving the atmosphere aloft moist and hazy and sweltering. The resorts closed, and most residents who could went off-world, leaving Cloud City to the gas miners and those without enough credits to leave. During previous perigee summers, the Calrissians had left to escape the steaming heat that radiated off the gas planet in waves. But not this year. This year, Lando and his offspring stayed and played host to the delegates as they sweated and swore, as they picked apart every sentence, every word, every nuance of the document they were trying to forge. He continued sending in droids with food and drinks, pushed the air cooling units to peak performance, and wondered when, oh when, they would all just _leave_.

* * *

For the delegation, days were spent sequestered in the steaming conference room, air coolers struggling to pump out tepid air, the fancy hot hors d'oeuvres abandoned for large pitchers of cold water, chipped ice flavored with delicate fruit juices and pale blue frozen custard.

Tempers shortened, leading to less diplomacy and more sniping.

Kylo lost patience more and more easily, frustrated with the lurching, sluggish progress. "This is ridiculous," he hissed. "Nothing will ever be accomplished."

But then his eyes found his mother's, and they were as full of exhaustion as his own, but also full of hope, so real he could almost touch it.

"Shh. Have patience," Leia whispered.

He huffed. "I'm trying. Buy this is insufferable. We spent half an hour yesterday debating the relative merits of a semicolon versus a comma. Then another hour discussing whether the royal 'we' was archaic or not, when I never meant to use the 'royal we' at all. I meant _we_ , Rey and me. Real people. But no one _listened_ when I tried to explain. It's just debate and discuss and delay. We're not going to solve a damned thing in this steaming sauna of a conference room."

"We _will_. This is how it's done."

As much as he wished he could just threaten and demand agreement, he had agreed to this. So he loosened his collar, eventually abandoning the outer layers of his clothing for a simple black tunic and trousers, and endured.

Even Rey wilted in the hot, humid atmosphere, so different from the arid heat of Jakku, which, while intense, didn't engulf and submerge a person like Bespin's summer swelter. Lora had continued supplying her with dresses, and while at first Rey complained to Kylo that she felt too exposed in Lora's definition of a 'summer dress', which was a wisp of thin gauzy fabric, with tiny straps and slits up the front that revealed her legs when she moved, she eventually appreciated the loose, weightless clothing. Kylo made it clear that he, too, appreciated the summer frocks, his eyes lingering on her bare thighs beneath the table, his fingertips trailing along her back and shoulders. She had gotten marvelously tan again on the terrace, and her skin glowed like gold.

He throbbed with the anticipation of how he would remove the dress later that night – slowly, like plucking the petals off a flower, or violently, ripping and tearing.

It was a welcome distraction, and sometimes he tuned out the conversation in the room, focusing intently on how her skin felt, on the little tingle that ran down his spine at the most delicate touch, on the energy that seemed to hum between every point of contact. He slid his hand up her thigh, perhaps a little too far for propriety, but the table was strewn with datapads and dishes and pieces of flimsi, so no one could see. He circled his thumb over the bite marks he had left on her thigh the night before, blue and purple bruises in the shape of his mouth that sent a possessive thrill through him and made his cock twitch. She looked up, met his eyes and smiled, a secret smile full of desire and delight. She liked when he did that, marked her. That's why he did it now. At first it had been accidental, the by-product of their intensity. And he had been afraid she would be angry, or embarrassed. He had apologized, but she had blushed, looked at the floor and whispered, "Don't be sorry. I…I like it. It reminds me I'm…wanted." She had gone back to the Resistance with a trail of hickeys from her neck to her thighs that time and had had to wear a scarf for a week. He remembered feeling her arousal every time she touched the bruises. It had been the first time he realized she really wanted to be his, wanted him to claim her and keep her. It had been delicious.

And then his mother's voice brought him back to the present.

"Right, so," Leia picked up her datapad. "We were discussing the merits and drawbacks of adopting a common currency. The floor is open for discussion."

Major Ematt cleared his throat. "First we need to establish an exchange rate between First Order credits and New Republic credits."

One of the First Order admirals, Kuras, snorted. " _Exchange_ rate? New Republic credits are worthless, since there is no longer a New Republic Galactic Treasury."

"Whose fault is that?" Ematt snapped. "Not kriffing ours. If anything, you owe us," he glanced at his datapad."Ahhhhhh, 74 trillion credits and 4,582 metric tons of gold."

"Please. Everyone knew the New Republic was up to its eyeballs in debt. You people had been running a deficit for _years_. So either way, your credits are worthless. First Order currency should become the galactic standard."

Ematt narrowed his eyes and started to speak, but Leia interrupted.

"Fine. We'll concede that point."

There was an uproar on the Resistance side of the table, but Leia silenced it with a gesture. "As I was saying, we'll concede that point, if you really want to make this _your_ issue." She picked up a glass of ice water. "I hear you're considering resigning your commission and running for Senator of your home world after this, Admiral. Tell me, where are you from?"

He frowned. "Kuat."

She pursed her lips. "Kuat. Most recently a New Republic world. Full of hard working ship builders who have been paid in those now-worthless New Republic credits." She took a sip of water, swirled the ice around in the glass, watching it catch the light. "Marl Pober is head of the ship builder's union there. Tough as durasteel. Had four little ruffian boys. You remember them, Ben? You played together when you were small."

He nodded, smirked. He knew where she was going with this, knew that every word she said, including the use of his birth name, was intentional. Could almost read the words 'PLAY ALONG' above her head. He was willing. Credits bored him, and Kuras was being a dick. "Obnoxious little brats. You always made me promise to _play nice_ with them, because you needed her support on some bill or another. How I dreamt of Force-choking those little shits."

Leia nodded. "I _am_ sorry about that. But…"

"Lose the shipbuilders, lose the planet," he mimicked her voice perfectly.

She gave a shrug. "True then, true now." She looked at Kuras, gave a sweet, bland smile. "I really _should_ catch up with Marl. _Chat_ a bit. Congratulate her on her newest grandchild; she just posted a picture on the holonet last week. I think she has eight or nine now."

Kuras gritted his teeth. "On further consideration, perhaps a fair exchange rate _could_ be established. For the good of the galaxy."

Hux lifted his glass of iced muja berry juice in Leia's direction. "I would love the opportunity to play sabacc with you someday, General."

Leia lifted her own glass in response. "I think we already are, General."

Kylo chuckled. He was beginning to understand why his mother enjoyed politics.

It took several more days, and the consulting services of the Resistance's financier Drina Tay, who agreed to participate _only_ if she could attend the meetings via holo and not in person, but the currency issue was finally resolved to everyone's satisfaction.

It wasn't long, though, until a whole new wave of bickering and recriminations started.

Admiral Ackbar, frustrated by Hux's obstinacy on a rather vexing technicality regarding disarmament, finally stood, his chair screeching behind him. "Enough. I refuse to debate _this_ issue with a genocidal maniac."

Hux stood, too, leaning over the table. "What did you call me?" His voice was a hiss, his face mottled purple.

"If the boot fits, _General_ …" Ackbar sneered.

Hux leaned all the way across the table, eyes flashing, lips curled back. "Bend over, _Admiral_ , and I'll show you where my boot fits!"

"Of course, your first course of action would be to threaten _violence_ ," Ackbar snapped, waving his hands at Hux as if he had proven a point.

Hux glared. "Oh, right, the _Resistance_ never resorts to violence, do they? Please, tell that to the over seventy percent of my troops who didn't make it off Starkiller. Or you." He looked at Luke. "To the over ninety percent that perished on the first Death Star. Cooks, mechanics, _sanitation workers_." He looked directly at Finn. "Tell me how they deserved to be incinerated."

Ackbar began,"They worked for the First Order, therefore, they were complicit…"

"Hey, hang on just a minute." Finn interrupted. "The troopers have no choice. None. They're taken as children, trained to serve the First Order…"

"Oh, they were just following orders?"

"Yes. No. It's more than that. They didn't know there was another way…"

"FN-2187 – umm, _Finn_ \- has a valid point," Phasma said. "Stormtroopers not only have no choice, they don't know there is one. He was an anomaly that we have yet to explain."

"Which brings me to another point," Admiral Statura butted in. "Conscription. We must do away with it. Military service must be volunteer only."

" _Volunteeer_?" Phasma said. "You mean they could just quit if they wanted to? How are we expected to enforce any sort of discipline…"she trailed off, speechless.

"Perhaps you should familiarize yourself with the concept of positive reinforcement, Captain," Statura said flatly. "You know, pay them?"

"Perhaps you should familiarize yourself with the concept of reality," she replied. "Do you know how many Stormtroopers there are? Over a million. You intend to pay _a million people_. Where're all those credits going to come from?"

"That leads to the issue of taxation…" one of the First Order admirals interrupted.

" _Taxation_! Are you trying to plant the seeds of a new rebellion?" Major Ematt huffed.

The meeting devolved into chaos, Leia scolding like the frazzled mother she was, Hux pounding a fist against the table, Maz swearing in her native language and Artoo in binary, Luke pleading for calm, the First Order and Resistance delegates screaming into each other's faces, everyone talking at once.

Rey pressed her hands over her ears. Frustrated tears gathered in her lower lashes. "Stop, please. Please stop," she said, without conviction. Kylo could hear her thoughts, loud and hopeless. _This will never work. It's rubbish. They'll never agree, we'll never solve anything, it's pointless. What were we thinking? All they do is moan and insult one another and talk in circles._

All the glassware on the table started quivering, pitchers of ice water and bowls of frozen custard and tumblers filled with fruit-flavored chipped ice hovering just over the surface.

Kylo stood, pulling himself to his full height, lifting his chin and curling his lip in a small sneer. "Cease this squabbling immediately. Set the disarmament issue aside for another day, when you can discuss it in a civil manner. But know this. We _will_ reach a consensus. We _will_ form a coalition government. And right now, you _will_ _apologize_." His voice was low and carried a hint of threat.

They all stopped.

Silence hung in the air, tension radiating off everyone in waves that Kylo could almost see.

Then, slowly, grudgingly, Hux sat, followed by the rest of the First Order delegation. He inclined his head toward Rey. "My apologies, my lady," he said. "It's this heat."

The glassware settled gently back down.

Ackbar gaped, shocked, as the leaders of the fearsome First Order bowed their heads and averted their eyes and begged pardon, not from Kylo Ren, but from the slip of a girl beside him. He sat down too, and so did everyone else, and they all mumbled apologies as well.

They tabled the disarmament debate for the day, moving on to the less volatile issue of a set versus rotating capitol, which seemed to be an invitation for each person at the table to argue the merits of their own home world as the seat of government.

Rey looked up at Kylo. _Thank you._

 _It was nothing. I…could not allow you to continue to be upset. And someone needed to stop that before things broke down irrevocably - or you made the dishes explode._

 _I wasn't going to do that._

 _Perhaps not intentionally, but it's a short step from making them levitate to making the atoms vibrate at a frequency that causes glass to shatter. I had to stop you for the sake of the meeting, but I didn't want to. I would have liked to see it. Oh, my love, you're so powerful._

 _I lost control. That wasn't good. I have to be more careful._

He smiled. _You did far better than I would have at your age. I'm sure I would have destroyed the entire room by now._

 _No, you wouldn't. You're good at this, whether you think so or not. You managed to diffuse that situation._

 _I intimidated them. Effective but hardly refined._

 _You were brilliant. So…commanding._ She smiled, eyelashes fluttering down _._

He smiled. She liked that. It sent a shiver down his spine. _Well, I do love seeing them bow to you._ He slid a hand along her thigh under the table.

 _That turns you on?_

"Coruscant has all the necessary infrastructure in place. Roadways and skyways, office space, manufacturing, a vibrant service sector…" one of the generals droned on.

Kylo wasn't listening. _Of course._

 _You're quite strange, you know._

 _You like it._

She didn't disagree.

"Garel has a lovely climate…"

He traced small circles on her thigh with his thumb. _Do you know what I wish I could do right now?_

 _Of course I do. I can read your thoughts. But you can tell me anyway._

 _I wish I could make everyone get out, then I'd strip off all your clothes, and lay you out on this table so I can see you, all of you._

"Lah'mu is largely unspoiled…"

A pink flush spread over her cheeks and down her neck. _Kylo! Your mom's right there…_

He gritted his teeth. _I am trying to ignore that particular detail. I want to think about you. Only you. We've been in this infernal meeting for ages, and I need you. I need to see you, feel you, taste you. Force, you'd be glorious, with your legs spread just for me. And I would feel all your power, all your strength, vibrating through the room. And I would worship you, my beautiful Jedi Empress. I'd crawl on the table and kiss up your leg until I got to the top, and I'd find that perfect spot; that spot that makes you scream. I'd lick you raw, love, and I'd fuck you with my fingers._

 _Would you…would you do that thing you do with your thumb?_

 _Oh, you like that?_

 _Mmm-hmmm._

 _Then yes, and you'd spread your legs wider and wider for me, and you'd be so wet, so wet and it would taste so good. I love to taste you, love._

She whimpered beside him, and scrunched her face, and he realized he wasn't just thinking. She could feel it. Oh, kriff, she was gripping his thigh so tight it hurt and clenching her teeth to keep from making a sound but she could feel it. He hadn't meant to do that but…well, the others were arguing about the logistics of moving the apparatus of a government from planet to planet every two years, and he wouldn't mind getting his wife off without even touching her.

 _Kylo stop! We mustn't. Not here._

 _Why not? Consider it a lesson in maintaining control._

She bit her lip but didn't tell him to stop, so he continued.

 _I'd flick your clit with my tongue until you were writhing and quivering, and you'd come on my face and then, then when I knew you were ready I'd climb on top of you and put your ankles on my shoulders and slide inside of you in one long thrust, and I'd just pound into you so hard, until I felt you clenching around my cock, until you were screaming my name, until…_

Rey stood up suddenly. "We need to take a break!"

They all looked at her.

"Umm. I mean…I need to step out. To the 'fresher. All that water." She made a vague gesture toward the glasses on the table.

"Are you alright? You look a bit flushed." Leia said, and Rey couldn't meet her eyes. "Do you need to call a recess?"

"Yeah, yes that. A recess. Please." Leia had given her a holobook – Rovak's Rules of Order, a tedious tome on parliamentary procedure that she had struggled to get through - and she tried to remember the proper parliamentary terms, but all she could think about was the ache between her legs. "I make a motion – no, I move – I move we recess for ten minutes."

"Second!" Kylo said, shoving his chair back, grabbing Rey's hand and pulling her out of the room, never quite standing all the way up.

As the doors slid closed, he heard someone say, "Skywalker! Is that part of that Force Bond deal? They have to pee at the same time? Because that's just weird…"

He could almost see his uncle face-palming.

There was an unlocked supply closet not too far away and they ended up there, ripping at each other's clothes.

"How did you…"she started.

"Not sure. I didn't mean to at first."

"It was like you were touching me."

"I know. I felt it too. I could taste you. I could feel you clenching around me."

She had his pants around his ankles now, and he had the skirt of her dress – this one a light, gauzy shift in the softest shades of peach and pink - crumpled up over her hips. He knelt down and pushed her underthings aside, his tongue finding all the right places instantly, and before she had time to draw another breath she was clenching and pulsing and calling his name, feeling like she was being swept along on wave after wave of pleasure. She had barely finished when he propped her on a shelf and slung her ankle over his shoulder and plunged into her, grunting and gasping her name over and over.

When they walked back into the conference room, sweaty and glowing, Kylo shot death glares at anyone who looked for too long. Except his mother, who was studiously scrolling through her datapad. Her, he just tried not to look in the eye.

They sank into their chairs in boneless contentment as Hux detailed the merits of Arkanis as the seat of the new Senate. The weather was _not_ one of them.

* * *

They had spent an endless day talking about galactic healthcare, what should be the role of the government, what should be the responsibility of the people, what was and was not 'necessary'…it was all very confusing. Rey wasn't sure what, if anything, had been decided, but she now knew there were health-related services out there she had never known existed. Limb replacement, tooth maintenance, fertility prevention and promotion…on Jakku, if she had been able to barter for a bacta patch for her worst wounds she had felt lucky.

Then they had dinner with Leia, Luke, Chewie and Maz. They were taking it slow, Kylo and Leia setting the pace for his reconnecting with his family, and it was mostly good. Awkward at times, conversation stilted, sentences abandoned half-way through because someone realized they would lead to a place none of them wanted to go.

Still, they were making quicker progress on the personal front than the political one.

If the days were torments of parliamentary procedure and bureaucratic bickering and stilted family reintegration, though, the nights made up for it. Their suite was cool and dim and once they retired and locked the doors and filled the enormous tub with what Rey still considered an obscene amount of cool water and scented oil, well, then they were on their honeymoon.

She leaned against his chest, eyes closed, head lolling on his shoulder as his hands slid over her body in a slow, leisurely path. They were slick with oil and soap, warm in the cool water.

"Watch." He held out a hand, lifted a sphere of water, moved it from side to side, up and down, flattened it out, stretched it into a rope and made it twine around her neck and then float over their heads.

She looked up, fascinated. He was having fun, showing off, his face focused but a small smile on his lips.

He separated the water into quivering droplets, then he let go, letting the droplets sprinkle over them like rain. She laughed, closing her eyes and turning her face up to let the water wash over her.

"How did you do that?"

"You have to use the Force like a container, to hold the water where you want it. You try. Focus on lifting the water."

She held out a hand. Several large spheres of water floated up a few inches, then splashed back into the tub.

"Good, but try to keep it all together. It's easier."

She tried again, this time lifting a single large glassy ball of water to the level of her face. She studied it, peering through it, fascinated by the way it bent light and distorted shapes. Then she reached a finger out and poked it, breaking the surface tension and releasing the water.

She giggled when it splashed her in the face.

"Here, here's something else you might like." He held out a hand, lifting a small orb of water, and focused, his eyebrows drawing together. When he opened his palm, it was a chunk of ice.

She took it, turning it in her hands, amazed. Then she licked it and he gasped. "Cool me off," she said, dropping it back into his hand.

He slid the ice ball against her temple, her jaw, working his way down the side of her neck.

She moaned and pressed against him, feeling him harden against her back. He slid the ice over her breast, circled her nipple with it. It pebbled instantly. She reached up and grabbed her breast, thrusting it against the melting ice.

When the ice had melted, he reached up, turning her head so he could attack her lips, lingering at her throat. His other hand slid down, between her legs, rubbing gentle circles over her clit.

They had tried sex in the tub a few times, and while the newness was exciting, the tub was slippery and hard, the water sloshed out, and being mostly submerged got in the way of certain activities Rey really liked. All in all, she'd rather dry off and move to the bed. Or the counter. Or the floor. She broke the kiss and started to pull away, but he held her still. "I want to try something," he whispered, and his voice was so low and full of promise it made a wave of arousal wash over her.

"Okay." They could always move to the bed later.

"Lean against the other end of the tub."

She did.

He reached down, took her foot in his hands, caressed it briefly, kissed her ankle and placed it on the rim of the tub. Then he took the other foot and placed it on the other side so she was spread wide in front of him. He stared intently into her eyes, then his gaze roamed down her body, lingering on her breasts, wet and glistening with oil, moving down until he was looking right at her most private area.

She blushed at being so exposed. "Kylo!" She started to pull her legs together, but he stopped her, putting a hand on each knee. The hunger in his eyes took her breath away. He looked ravenous, like he could devour her right there.

"That's mine, and I want to see it."

She let out a shuddering breath. Oh, he was in this mood, was he? Well, this could be fun. Her lips curved up in a half smile. "You're right. It's _all_ yours, my emperor."

He let out a strangled groan and dug his fingers into her legs in an effort to control himself. Yes, this was going to be fun.

"I have…an idea. Based on what happened in the conference room."

Oh, that had been hot. If it was anything like that she was all for it.

"Are you ready?"

She shivered in anticipation. "So ready."

He held out a hand, dipped it in the shimmering water, almost, but not quite, touching her, still staring intently. Then she felt something…a humming energy swirling closer and closer to her, barely brushing against her folds.

"Can you feel it?"

"Y-yes, a little."

He narrowed his eyes, twitched his fingers and suddenly the humming was stronger, buzzing against her clit.

She gasped, her eyes widening and her mouth dropping open. "Oh, kriff, how? Wha…aaaah."

She heard his voice, but it sounded far away. "Tell me if it's too much."

She nodded. The ability to speak or even think flew away as she was overtaken by sensation, the energy pulsing against her, like his tongue but faster, stronger, harder.

Their eyes remained locked; he watched her, mesmerized by her face as she gasped and panted.

"That's it, love. Let go. Come for me."

She whined. "Please, oh, Kylo, please, don't stop, don't stop." Whatever he was doing was like nothing she had ever felt, the intensity almost too much, but at the same time, she wanted more, more, more. She was so close already, a blissful tension pulsing between her legs, building, radiating out; she wanted it, and she was pretty sure she couldn't hold on any longer anyway because kriff it felt amazing, but she also didn't want it to stop.

"I promise I won't stop. I want to watch you come," he whispered. "Over and over again."

She gave in to the energy humming against her, to the compulsion in his voice, all her muscles clenching tighter, tighter and then it hit her, hard, and her eyes squeezed shut, then flew open and she grabbed her own hair and pulled and let out a high keening shriek.

The energy dissipated, but didn't disappear, and as soon as she had recovered a bit it was back and she felt herself lifting her hips to meet it as he coaxed her to the edge again and again, her voice rising higher with each peak until she wasn't sure how many times she had fallen over the edge.

She looked at him through hooded eyes, weak with pleasure. He was kneeling in front of her, stroking his cock slowly with his free hand. He followed her eyes, gave a languid smile. "I could come just watching you get off."

"Don't you dare," she said. "I need to feel you inside me; for us to be connected."

Then the energy changed, somehow seemed to vibrate at a higher frequency as he struggled to hold on to it and his own physical control. "Need you. Now," he hissed and sent her a mental image of what he wanted. She pushed him back to a sitting position and climbed on top of him, lowering herself onto his cock. As soon as he was inside her, she clenched her teeth and came again with a sound she wasn't aware she could make – something between a scream and a snarl.

He let go of the current of energy and gave in to his pleasure. Little spheres of water hovered around them, floating up and up, shimmering in the soft starlight coming through the viewport. His hands were on her shoulders, pressing her down as he lifted his hips, thrusting up hard, the water slapping between them, splashing out of the tub, their bodies slick with oil.

"Tell me how many times you came," he growled into her ear.

"I'm not sure. It was just…it kept going. I've never felt anything like that."

He bit into her shoulder and slammed into her, so deep it felt like he was trying to split her in two. She cried out, a combination of pleasure and pain, and pulled his hair, crashing down to meet him as the hovering globes of water splashed down on them, cool against their hot skin. He threw his head back and almost roared as she felt his release, hot and pulsing inside her, his hands clutching her to him, holding on to her, to the moment as tightly as he could.

Later, dry and cozy in the bed, her head on his chest, his arms around her, he asked, "So you liked it?"

She felt that thread of neediness, that constant craving for approval. "Yes, _Emperor_ , I liked it. I think you might have guessed that from the screaming and begging."

"I loved watching you, your face. So beautiful."

She turned away, embarrassed, knowing she had been a helpless, writhing, selfish mess, whimpering and begging and crying out. He put a hand on her chin and forced her to look at him, his eyes deep and intense. "Don't be ashamed. I love seeing your pleasure. I want it. I need it."

"Really? You didn't think I was too…out of control?"

"Nothing pleases me more than knowing I can make you lose control and feel that good. I love you. I just want to make you happy."

"You do," she smiled. "I love you, too. So much." She was quiet for a few minutes, then she asked, her voice soft and uncertain, "Kylo? Do you…do you think…everything will work out? That it will be okay?"

He pulled her closer. "I do. For the first time I can ever remember, I do."

She nuzzled against his chest and they drifted to sleep, limp and satiated.

* * *

After months of endless meetings, the delegation managed to create what might actually prove to be a workable constitution. It was a precarious arrangement, complex and wordy, overly complicated and compromising on a myriad of factors. But it was an agreement everyone around the table could approve. It had been shepherded along on the Resistance side by every ounce of diplomatic skill and personal magnetism Leia possessed, backed by Luke and Maz's steadfast support, and on the First Order side by Hux's prickly backing, and by the undercurrent of fear ( _hit him over the head with a lead pipe, she did, then they electrocuted him with their_ brains _; choked all six of us from across space – I felt his fingers, I tell you, felt them_ ) that Kylo and Rey's very existence created.

The Senate would be reinstated, with a First Senator to be elected every five standard years. Every individual, on every world, would have a vote. The logistics of that were mind-numbing, but they would make it happen, somehow, some way. Slavery would be abolished – that was one of the few issues they had all agreed upon. Kylo and Rey would be Emperor and Empress; it would be a hereditary title, subject to certain protocols based on the rules of succession of Alderaan and aspects of Naboo's unusual process of electing a Queen: upon succession and/or the age of majority, each new monarch would have to be confirmed by the Senate, and the Senate could request a review any time. This was to ensure that whoever inherited the title was fit to serve. Kylo had fought this provision, but finally accepted it. And while, technically, the Emperor and Empress were the final authority, they were required to consult with and act on the advice of the First Senator, who was required to act based on the votes of the senators, who, in theory at least, would always act based on the will of the people they represented.

They were to be both more and less than monarchs. Because that was part of the document that was signed by the delegation which would later be known as the Galactic Convention. On the one hand, their role would be largely ceremonial. But they were also the deterrent, the weapon that stood ready to be unleashed, should they be needed. They were the balance.

"But what if…" Ackbar said.

"The system will work." Leia interrupted, clutching her datapad to her chest in a protective hug.

It would.

It had to.

* * *

Two years. That was how long they had to operate as a provisional government. This would allow time for senatorial elections to be arranged and held across the galaxy. It would allow the galaxy to get used to the idea of this new amalgamation of democracy and monarchy, of the First Order and New Republic working together.

At the end of the two years, the constitution would have to be ratified by the full Senate.

Kylo and Rey, Leia and Hux were sitting at the plastisteel table beside the pink wave pool again. They were sipping foamy pale-green tea-and-cream concoctions, and nibbling at a plate of dainty pastel-colored pastries. No natural-colored edibles seemed to be available at this particular cantina.

"It has to pass," Kylo said.

Leia nodded. Failure was unacceptable; it would throw the galaxy back into chaos. They had to make this work. "It won't be easy," she said, "but doing what's right never is."

Kylo put a hand on Rey's shoulder and looked at the two generals. "We need your guidance. What can we do to ensure success?"

Leia smiled. "Take responsibility. Care. Give people what they _need_."

Hux plucked a pale-blue frosted pastry from the tray, where he had arranged them in neat rows. "Which may or may not be what they _want_ ," he said, then glanced at Leia. "What does your side value more than anything?"

"Liberty." She selected a lavender muffin. "Yours?"

Hux didn't even have to think. "Order."

She chewed, thoughtful. "We have to spin things just right. Avoid any reminders of the mess that was the Old Republic Senate, or of the _other_ Empire."

Hux popped another pastry in his mouth. "My people are comfortable with the idea of monarchy. Democracy less so, but they'll find it more palatable if they feel there's a firm hand guiding it." He flicked his eyes to Kylo. "Yours will be comforted by the very visible process of the elections, but they'll fear the idea of a ruler. They want…change. Optimism. Hope. Something to _feel good about_." His nose wrinkled as he said the last words.

Leia looked at Hux. "Despite your disdain, you're correct."

"Information dissemination was part of my job."

"You mean propaganda." Leia made a sour face.

Hux shrugged. "Call it what you will. Information is a weapon. The Resistance knew that, too."

They sat in silence, picking at the food. Rey and Kylo were in their own world, apparently having one of those silent conversations, punctuated with little sighs and raised eyebrows and head tilts, but no words.

"They do that a lot," Hux said. "It's maddening."

Leia smiled. "I think it's cute."

Hux looked at her as if he had smelled something foul. " _Cute_. You probably thought he was cute running around in nappies, tossing toys across the room with the Force," he said.

She laughed. "He was. He had a mop of black curls, and big dark eyes, and he was always so serious, even when he played. He did throw a lot of toys with the Force. We just…I mean, what do you do?"

Hux sighed. "What indeed?" He sipped at his tea. "I have three boys. And one on the way. Cressa hopes it's a girl. Would you like to see holos?"

Leia blinked, gave a bemused smile, and nodded. "Yes. Yes, I would."

Hux's eyes lit up and he pulled his mini-holo projector from his pocket. They were flipping through images when Kylo cleared his throat. "We have an idea."

Hux pocketed the holoprojector and they both looked at him.

"You said people need something to feel good about. Perhaps, a wedding?"

Leia raised her eyebrows. It was perfect. It was like a gift from the Maker. A royal wedding. A beautiful young couple, so obviously, deliriously in love. People would eat it up. It would make them forget that their new leader was Kylo Ren, terror of the galaxy. It would wrap things up in a perfect, palatable little package. The visuals alone would be priceless. But she wouldn't make the same mistakes she had before. "You _did_ say you wanted to give her a real wedding. But…do you want to make it a political event?"

"It already will be," Hux said. "It's just a matter of whether or not we take advantage of the opportunity.

"We?" Leia raised her eyebrows at him. When had they become a 'we'? "Ben. Rey. This is your wedding. If you want to do it privately, say so. You shouldn't have to give up something this special for political reasons."

"It was…" Rey started.

"…our idea." Kylo finished. "However." He took Rey's hand, looked into her eyes. "I promised you the wedding of your dreams. I know you said you wanted to do this, but if it's too public, if you don't want this, we won't do it."

Rey blushed. "Ermm. Actually I…I sort of think it sounds…wonderful? Is that bad? Does that make me vain?" She looked around the table.

"No, dear," Leia said gently. "It makes you an excited bride. And you can still make it the wedding of your dreams. Just, perhaps a bit…bigger."

"Can we have flowers, lots of flowers? And a cake, one of those beautiful sugar cakes with all the layers and decorations?"

"Of course," the older woman said, a wave of affection washing over her. "Anything you want."

"I don't even know how to start planning something like this," Rey said, a little breathless.

"I'll help. We all will," Leia said.

By the time the sun was fully up, they had a basic plan. A signing ceremony and investiture (Rey refused to let it be called a coronation) would be held on Coruscant right away, followed within half a standard year by a royal wedding. It would be a gala event, a celebration for the entire galaxy, broadcast via holo.

Kylo kissed Rey's fingers and looked intently into her eyes. "It will be perfect. Like you."

Her lashes fluttered down, and she leaned in and kissed him, softly, on the lips.

Leia dabbed at her eyes with a napkin, then looked at Hux. "We should leave them alone."

"Indeed," he said, pushing his chair back.

* * *

A/N

Bathing togs: That's what Lando calls swimwear in a quote on Wookiepedia, so I went with it.

A Bespin 'year' is 14 standard years long (Wookiepedia). I wanted it to be hot and sweltering while they worked on their agreement, because, well, it was always hot when my country's important documents were written, so maybe it helps? Or at least makes people want to hurry up and come to some agreement so they can leave? And it's been stupid hot here although it's supposed to be winter so I wanted to gripe about the heat. But with a year that long, Earth-like seasons based on planetary tilt would last 3-4 years. So I went with no tilt and an extremely elliptical orbit, so they have 'summer' when they're closest to their sun (perigee). I probably spent way too much time thinking about this part.

'Rovak's Rule of Order': Based on 'Robert's Rules of Order'. I took an interminable class in college on parliamentary procedure, and that was our only text. Gah, the nitpickiness!

I can't believe it's almost over! Just an epilogue to go in this story. It went in a different direction than I planned – sometimes characters just have minds of their own. I hope it was satisfying and made everyone happy. I'm excited and sad to actually be finishing this story that just grew and grew. Although I totally plan to write about the wedding, but as a one shot later.

A million thanks to Perry Downing for being my beta for most of this story, and especially this massive chapter. I know it was a lot, so thank you for being there for me! And thank you to everyone who read, reviewed, faved, followed, liked my tumblr posts – everything. There's no way I'd have finished this huge thing without you all cheering me on, so thank you!


	54. Chapter 54

Epilogue

* * *

"That's your grandmother?"

He nodded, looking up at the delicate stained glass representation of Padmé Amidala.

"She's ethereal," Rey said in a hushed voice. The air in the mausoleum reminded her of the air in the deeply-buried chambers of the old star destroyers she used to scavenge – still and stale and a little musty. The light was soft, filtering through the stained glass, dust motes floating in the sunbeams that shone through.

She felt strange, being here, like a trespasser. Still, she had said she would help him do this, and she would. She followed him across the threshold, keeping her steps silent on the stone floor. Luke and Leia came behind, so silent she couldn't even hear them breathing.

Kylo stepped to the end of the long sarcophagus and trailed his fingertips over it. He knelt down in front of the window, opened the satchel he had over his shoulder and removed a carefully-wrapped object. Rey knelt beside him as he unwrapped the remains of Darth Vader's helmet.

She heard the tiniest intake of breath from Leia, felt a wave of tension ripple from the older woman before she reined it in.

Kylo gently placed the helmet on the ledge under the shimmering stained-glass Padmé, his hand lingering on the edge. Rey touched the other side.

"Grandfather?" he whispered.

There was that presence, faint, barely there, tinged with dark and light. It seemed to swirl around, touching each of them, gentle, warm, sad, then a voice, its words written on the dust, on the air. "My children. All of you. You have…succeeded. Done what I could not. Finished…" it seemed to focus on Kylo, "…what I started. I can feel it – there is balance. Peace. Hold on…to it. To each other." They felt compelled to move closer, until they were all touching, hands clasped, embracing in a tight knot.

The presence settled in front of the stained glass. Then the figure of Anakin Skywalker shimmered in front of them, deep blue and transparent. He looked at them and his mouth quirked up in a smile. "Home. You've brought me home. Thank you." Then, as he faded away, there was one last word, like a benediction: "Padmé."

* * *

"It's beautiful! It's perfect!" Rey said, running from room to room.

"It's a ruin," Kylo complained.

"Well, no one has even been here since…before I was born, I suppose," Leia explained, hanging back, touching the dusty back of a chair, the dry-rotted fabric of what had once been gold satin drapes, peering through the grimy window at the lakeshore below. "Varykino, it's called. Padmé Amidala and Anakin Skywalker were secretly married here, according to local legend. And this is where my mother intended to live and raise…us." Her voice and face were wistful, and she was silent for a long moment, fingering the fringe on the drapes, staring out the smudged window. "Well, anyway, it belongs to you now, if you want it, and I thought perhaps it would be a fitting place for a much more public wedding."

Kylo nodded, smiled, grateful to her for this, for her willingness to confront the past, the life that could have been, because she knew it would mean so much to him. He hesitated, as if trying to form words, but she shooed him away.

"Go, explore, have a look."

They walked through room after room, derelict yet still elegant, until they reached the one that overlooked the other side of the island. Rey swung the doors open and ran out onto the balcony, gracefully dodging vines and weeds. "There's a view of the lake! And a beach. And so much green, and flowers! Oh, Kylo, I love it! Say we can live here!"

"Of course we can, my love. After we have it fixed up, of course…"

"What? No! I want to fix it up myself! I don't want to let someone else have all the fun. Oh, I could make it so perfect!"

He looked at his wife and he melted. "It's already perfect," he said. "We're here together. If you like it, it is yours. Consider it a wedding gift."

She beamed. "Really?"

He nodded.

She looked down, suddenly shy. "I…I have a gift for you, too," she said.

"You do?"

"Uh-huh. Come here."

He did, looking at her hands clasped in front of her, her downcast eyes, the slight blush on her cheeks. "Well, what is it?" He asked, tilting his head, curious at her sudden odd behavior.

"Come closer. It's very small."

He did, looking at her hands, wondering what sort of gift she could have hidden in them.

She reached out and took one of his hands in both of hers. "I'm afraid you can't see it yet, but if you concentrate, I think you can feel it." She placed his hand on her stomach, and he instantly felt… not one but two tiny flickers in the Force, each a little different, each a little like his, a little like hers. He gasped, and his eyes widened.

"Is that what I think?"

She nodded, her face glowing.

"Two?"

She nodded again.

He leaned down and kissed her, starting out gently but quickly losing himself in the feeling of her lips against his, running his hands through her hair, which was loose except a single bun on top, pulling her body against his, sighing into her open mouth, holding her – holding _them_ \- as close as he could.

* * *

The End

* * *

Thank you, dear readers, for sticking with this story that ended up taking such a long and winding path to get to HEA. I appreciate you all so much and I know I wouldn't have stuck with this without your support and feedback. Comments, short, long, funny, serious, are what keep me motivated as a writer. I have all these stories in my head, but knowing that people actually enjoy them, that's what makes me actually put in the time and effort to write them. And it has been so rewarding and so much fun! SO thank you all! Love and hugs and confetti to you!

A special thank you to Perry Downing, for being such an awesome beta and even more awesome friend. You're the best. If you haven't read her stories, go read them now. I'm utterly in awe of her talent as a writer.

The wedding will be a stand-alone story, because it's going to be too long to work as an epilogue. After a short break, I'm going to go back to my other long story, 'Things Fall Apart', which is Reylo but has proven to be quite the glacial burn. But I'm actually finally getting to the good parts in it, so you can just pick up where I do if you want Rey and Kylo interacting as grown-ups, or if you want more baby/little Ben feels, there're lots of those at the beginning, and in the one-shot 'prequel' to that one, 'Lullaby'. I wrote the beginning of it before 'Bloodline' came out, so there are some timeline issues, but otherwise it's a canonverse fic. Plus, I have a few one-shot ideas bouncing around in my head. So thank you all again for taking the time to read what I wrote, and I hope to see you around!


End file.
